"Master... my thigh... it feels like it's burning."
Runa Yozakura lay on my futon, her face twisted in pain. She clutched her right leg, her knuckles white.
I stood over her, analyzing the situation with the cold, detached gaze of a deity.
(It's a cramp. She pulled a muscle fighting the goblins. She needs a banana and an ice pack.)
But a Sovereign of Desire didn't hand out bananas.
"A blockage," I declared, my voice grave. "Your mana channels are calcified. You have been forcing energy through a rusted pipe."
Runa gasped, looking horrified. "Is... is it fatal?"
"For a normal hunter? Yes," I said, walking over to my tiny kitchenette. "For my disciple? It is merely an inconvenience."
I opened the cupboard. Inside sat a single bottle of extra virgin olive oil I had bought on sale three months ago.
I grabbed it.
(Please don't read the label. Please don't read the label.)
"I will apply a Celestial Solvent," I lied, returning to her side. "It will lubricate your spiritual pathways. But be warned, Runa."
I poured the golden liquid onto my hands. It smelled faintly of salads.
"To clear the blockage, I must inject my Yang energy directly into your nervous system. The sensation... will be intense."
Runa nodded, biting her lip. She lay back, her chest heaving. The fabric of her gi was torn at the thigh, revealing pale, sweat-slicked skin.
"I am ready, Master," she whispered. "Do whatever you must."
(Okay. Don't be weird. It's just a massage. A life-saving, scam-artist massage.)
I knelt beside her. My hands were trembling, but this time, it worked in my favor.
I placed my hands on her thigh.
"Relax," I commanded.
"Hyah!" Runa yelped as my thumbs dug into the knot.
[System Alert: Physical Contact Established.] [Skill Available: Phantom Caress.] [Cost: 50 DP.] [Activate? Y/N]
I mentally smashed the 'Yes' button. I needed to prove my "power" instantly, or she'd realize I was just a guy rubbing cooking oil on her leg.
[Skill Activated: Phantom Caress.] [Effect: Stimulating target's pleasure receptors to simulate mana influx.]
My hands suddenly felt hot. Not fever-hot, but electric.
As I slid my thumb up her inner thigh, following the muscle line, Runa's eyes rolled back in her head.
"Ahhh! Master!"
She arched her back, her fingers digging into my cheap futon.
"It's... it's entering me!" she moaned, her voice trembling. "Your energy... it's so thick! It's flooding my veins!"
(Phrasing! Runa, please, think about your phrasing!)
"Focus!" I barked, sweat beading on my forehead. "Do not let the energy escape! internalize it!"
I pressed deeper. The System was doing the heavy lifting. Every time I touched her, nerves fired off signals of ecstasy and power. To her, it must have felt like liquid gold was being poured into her bones.
"It's too much!" Runa panted, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "I... I can feel the blockage shattering! It feels... amazing!"
Her leg twitched violently against my hand.
[Desire Points Gained: +20... +20... +30...] [Target Status: Overloaded.]
"Endure it," I whispered, leaning close to her ear. "Pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin. A true warrior conquers both."
(I sounded cool, right? I hope I sounded cool. My wrist is starting to cramp.)
Runa let out a long, shuddering breath. Her skin flushed a deep, vibrant pink.
"Master... lower..." she mumbled, delirious. "The blockage... is deeper..."
I moved my hands lower towards her knee, kneading the muscle.
"Here?"
"Yes! Yes! Harder!" she cried out. "Fill the void, Master!"
The air in the room grew heavy. The smell of olive oil mixed with the scent of ozone—a byproduct of the System's interference with reality.
Runa's mana, which had been chaotic and stagnant, actually began to smooth out. Her belief that I was fixing her was causing her body to fix itself.
[System Alert: Target's Mana Flow Stabilized.] [Passive Income Unlocked: +5 DP/hour from Target's gratitude.]
I exhaled, wiping sweat from my brow. It was working. I had successfully turned a muscle cramp into a divine miracle.
"The procedure is complete," I said, preparing to pull my hands away.
Runa grabbed my wrist. Her grip was iron.
"Wait..." she breathed, her eyes hazy with dopamine. "One more... just one more second..."
She let out a loud, high-pitched moan that echoed off the thin walls of the apartment building.
"OHHHH GOD! YESSS!"
BAM!
The front door flew open, slamming against the wall with the force of a battering ram.
"AMAGIRI!"
Standing in the doorway was my landlord, Mr. Tanaka. He was a sixty-year-old man wearing a "I Love Cats" t-shirt and holding a rent ledger.
He froze.
He looked at me, covered in sweat and oil.
He looked at Runa, lying on my futon, flushed, panting, with her gi disheveled and her leg in the air.
He looked at the bottle of Extra Virgin Olive Oil on the floor.
Silence stretched for an eternity.
(I can explain. No, wait. I definitely cannot explain this.)
Mr. Tanaka's face turned purple.
"You said you didn't have the rent money!" he roared, pointing a trembling finger at us. "But you have money for... for... whatever kind of service this is?!"
Runa sat up, blinking. "Service? No, this is training! My Master is filling me with his fluid essence!"
(RUNA, STOP TALKING.)
Mr. Tanaka looked like he was about to have a stroke.
"Out!" he screamed. "Pay me right now, or get out! I run a respectable establishment!"
I looked at the System window.
[Current Wealth: 1,000,000 Yen (in envelope).] [Current Dignity: -500.]
I sighed, reaching for the envelope Runa had given me earlier.
"Mr. Tanaka," I said, putting on my best 'bored villain' face while covered in cooking oil. "Must you interrupt my rituals with such trivial matters?"
(Please don't evict me. I have nowhere else to go.)