The morning sun filtered through the high windows of the dining hall, casting long, golden streaks across the breakfast table. To anyone else, it was a perfectly normal morning. The smell of fresh bread and tea filled the air, and the usual chatter of the mansion's residents provided a comforting backdrop.
Otto sat across from Emilia, nursing a cup of strong tea and squinting slightly at the light. He looked tired, his hair a bit more disheveled than usual, but he offered her a polite, weary smile as their eyes met.
"Good morning, Emilia-sama," he said, his voice a bit raspy. "I apologize if I'm a bit slow today. It seems I overindulged in the wine last night. I barely remember making it back to my room."
Emilia felt a jolt of heat rush to her cheeks, but she forced a stiff smile, her hands tightening around her spoon. "It's... it's quite alright, Otto. You worked very hard."
She was relieved—immensely so—that he remembered nothing. If he knew about the sounds she had made, or the way she had let him hold her, she wouldn't have been able to stay in the same room. Yet, seeing him so calm and oblivious made that "weird" buzzing in her skin feel even more isolated.
Beside Otto sat Frederica. She was radiant, her golden hair perfectly braided, laughing softly at a joke Otto made about his own clumsiness. Emilia found her gaze drifting downward, staring at Frederica's chest beneath her maid uniform. A sharp, stinging prickle of jealousy flared in her heart. She wondered if Frederica knew how Otto's hands felt—if she was used to that rapid, insistent pressure that had left Emilia gasping.
She quickly looked away, terrified that the observant Ram or the sharp-eyed Roswaal might notice her uncharacteristic staring.
"Everything okay, Emilia-tan?"
Subaru, sitting right next to her, leaned in with a concerned grin. His presence was usually her anchor, but today, looking at him felt complicated. She remembered her thoughts from the hallway the night before—wondering if he would touch her the way Otto had.
"I'm fine, Subaru," she said, her voice a little more assertive than usual.
"Great! Because remember, we've got our big date today!" Subaru beamed, his eyes full of that pure, honest devotion he always showed her. "I've planned out the whole route. It's going to be the best one yet."
Emilia nodded, trying to match his enthusiasm, but her mind was elsewhere. She wanted to reach out and grab his hand—to see if she could spark that "heat" right here at the table—but her lingering sense of being "proper" held her back. She wasn't bold enough to be the one to start it.
She looked back at Otto and Frederica. They seemed so natural together. The way Frederica leaned toward him, the way Otto smiled at her... it made Emilia feel like an outsider in her own home. The frustration simmered just beneath her skin, a quiet fire that Subaru's gentle kindness couldn't quite put out.
Emilia felt a mixture of emotions swirling inside her. It was so strange to think that Otto had looked at her and seen someone he wanted to hold, even if he was mistaken. Her heart fluttered in a way she didn't understand. It wasn't just a "fever"—it was a powerful, heavy sensation that made her skin feel tight and sensitive, as if it were waiting for something.
But then, a shadow crossed her mind. What if Subaru knew? She could imagine his face—not just angry, but deeply hurt. He had worked so hard to show her his devotion, and yet, Otto had been the one to accidentally spark this "magic" in her body. It felt like she was carrying a heavy secret, and the weight of it was making her chest ache with guilt.
And yet, despite the guilt, she couldn't stop thinking about it. That "funny" buzzing heat... she wanted to feel it again. She wanted to know if that explosion of warmth was a one-time thing or if it was something she could find whenever she wanted.
If I feel this way because of Otto... then surely it would be even more wonderful with Subaru, she thought, her fingers tracing the edge of her tea cup. She didn't have the words to describe what had happened to her—she only knew that for one breathless moment, the world had turned into white light and heat. I want to feel that 'peak' again.. Maybe if Subaru touches me the way Otto did, it will feel even better. Maybe it will be the most beautiful magic of all.
In her innocence, she decided she would be very brave on their date today. She would find a way to make him touch her chest, just like Otto had, hoping to recapture that incredible, breathless feeling.
As she imagined Subaru's hand against her, a sudden, intense wave of heat rushed to her face. It was a dizzying, overwhelming flush that made her ears tingle and her breath hitch.
"Emilia-tan?" Subaru's voice was suddenly right next to her. He was leaning in, his face full of honest concern. "Whoa, your face is super red! Are you okay? You look like you're about to melt right into your chair!"
Emilia jumped, her heart hammering against her ribs like a trapped bird. She couldn't meet his eyes, terrified that he would see the "shameful" curiosity in her gaze.
"I-I'm alright! Really!" she squeaked, her voice trembling. "I just... I think I need to go lie down for a tiny bit so I'm all ready for our date. I'll see you later, Subaru!"
She scrambled out of her chair and hurried from the room, her head spinning. She needed the cool air of the hallway to stop her heart from jumping out of her chest before the afternoon even began.
The afternoon sun sparkled off the surface of the lake, turning the water into a sheet of dancing diamonds. It was a beautiful, peaceful setting—the kind of place where Subaru usually felt most at ease. As they walked along the shore, the only sound was the crunch of pebbles beneath their boots and the distant call of a bird.
Emilia was walking closer to him than usual. Her hands were clasped tightly in front of her, and her silver hair partially veiled her face, which had been a steady shade of pink since they left the mansion. She was gathering every ounce of her courage, her mind replaying the "buzzy" sensation from the night before.
"Subaru?" she asked softly, her voice barely a whisper.
"Yeah, Emilia-tan? What's up? You've been a little quiet today. If the sun is too hot, we can head into the shade!"
Emilia shook her head quickly. "No, it's not that. I... I wanted to ask you something. What do you think of... of me?"
Subaru didn't even hesitate. He struck a dramatic pose, pointing a finger at the sky. "What do I think? Isn't it obvious? You're an angel! No, a goddess! The most beautiful, kind-hearted, and perfect girl in this world or the next!"
Usually, this would make Emilia giggle, but today she stayed serious. She stopped walking and turned to face him, her eyes wide and searching.
"No, I mean..." She struggled with the words, her shyness almost choking her. "What do you think of... my body?"
Subaru's dramatic pose froze. His face went from a confident grin to a shade of red that rivaled a ripe tomato in less than a second. He choked on his own breath, coughing into his hand as he tried to laugh it off.
"W-wow! Straight to the point today, huh?" he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck and looking everywhere but at her. "I mean, obviously, you're... you know... incredible. Super cute. Totally 'EMT.' But, uh, why the sudden question?"
Emilia stepped closer, her heart thumping so hard she was sure he could hear it. The "heat" was rising again, making her feel heavy.
"Because..." she started, her voice trembling. "I've made you wait so long for an answer to your confession. It's not fair to you. And I thought... maybe... as a sorry for making you wait... would you like to touch them?"
She gestured shyly toward her chest, her fingers hovering over the fabric of her dress.
Subaru looked like he was about to faint. His eyes nearly popped out of his head, and his face was so red it looked painful. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, trying to maintain his "cool" persona but failing miserably.
"Emilia... are you... wait, are you saying...?" He took a shaky breath, his expression suddenly turning hopeful and intense. "Does this mean you've decided? Have you finally... do you have an answer for me? About us?"
Emilia's heart sank slightly. She looked at his hopeful face and felt a pang of guilt. She still didn't know if what she felt was "love" like the songs described. She just knew her body felt "weird" and she wanted him to help her feel that magic again.
"I'm sorry, Subaru," she whispered, looking down at her boots. "I still need more time to think about... that. I'm not sure yet. But because I'm taking so long, I thought I could let you do this... to be nice."
Subaru's excitement vanished, replaced by a look of deep conflict. He looked at her, then at her chest, then away again. He wanted to touch her more than anything, but he was a gentleman. To him, touching her like that without her loving him felt... wrong. He felt like he would be taking advantage of her innocence.
"Emilia..." he said, his voice dropping to a serious, pained tone. "I can't. Not like this. Not just because you feel 'sorry' for me."
As Subaru spoke, Emilia trembling fingers reached for the delicate laces of her bodice. With a soft tug, the knot came undone. Subaru's breath hitched, his eyes widening in pure shock as the fabric slipped down.
Before he could look away or speak, the front of her dress draped open, revealing her pale, naked breasts to the open air and to his stunned gaze. The sunlight caught the silver of her hair and the soft curve of her skin, making the moment feel almost ethereal, despite the heart-pounding tension.
Emilia's face was so hot she felt like she might actually melt into the grass. She stayed frozen, her arms slightly back, her chest heaving with shallow, nervous breaths.
"Just... just for today," she whispered, her voice cracking. "I want you to... to touch them. Please."
Subaru was shaking. He looked like a man standing on the edge of a cliff. "Emilia... you don't have to do this. If you're just doing this because you feel bad for me—"
"I don't," she interrupted, looking up at him with misty, determined eyes. "I'm not doing it because I feel sorry for you, Subaru. I know that if we... if we truly become a couple, it would be a very big decision. A serious one."
She took a shaky step closer, the distance between them vanishing.
"I've made you wait for two years," she continued, her voice small and shy. "And we haven't really... moved forward. We only hold hands. You are so, so important to me, Subaru. And even though I can't promise yet that I can accept your feelings the way you want... I want to try. This is me trying to take the next step. I want to know what it feels like... with you."
She wasn't just doing this for him; she was doing it for herself. She wanted to see if his touch would create that same "white light" she had felt with Otto. She wanted him to reclaim the territory that Otto had accidentally taken.
Subaru's throat was dry. He looked at her beautiful, vulnerable expression and then down at her exposed chest. Every instinct in his body was screaming at him to reach out, to finally feel the woman he loved. His hand rose slowly, his fingers twitching as they hovered just inches away from her soft skin.
But as he looked into her eyes, he saw her innocence—the way she was looking at him like a child asking for help with a puzzle. He realized that she didn't want him specifically; she wanted to understand a feeling.
His hand stopped. He clenched it into a fist and pulled it back, his shoulders shaking with the effort of restraint.
"I can't, Emilia," he groaned, his voice thick with a mix of desire and pain. "If I do this now, while you're still 'thinking' about me... I'd never be able to look at myself in the mirror again. I want you to want me, not just a 'next step'."
He reached out, but instead of touching her skin, he grabbed the edges of her dress and pulled them back up, covering her. He turned his head away, his face dark with a frustrated, pained flush. "Please... fix your clothes. We should go back."
Emilia stood there, the cool air suddenly hitting her covered chest. The "heat" inside her didn't go away; it turned into a heavy, sinking weight of rejection. She had been so brave, and he had turned her away. The "weird" buzzing was still there, louder than ever, and now it was mixed with a stinging sense of shame.
Three months had passed since the night Otto stumbled into her room, and for Emilia, the world had become a much more confusing place. That single "incident" had planted a seed of restlessness that wouldn't stop growing.
Every night, she went to bed hoping for peace, but her dreams had other plans. In the quiet dark of her room, her mind would weave together images of Otto's rough, drunken grasp and Subaru's intense, loving gaze. She would dream of hands—sometimes Otto's, sometimes Subaru's—touching her with that same rhythmic, insistent pressure. Every morning, she would wake up with her heart racing, her skin damp with sweat, and her face a deep, humiliated crimson.
She felt like she was living a lie. To the world, she was the elegant Half-Elf candidate for the throne. Inside, she was a girl being eaten alive by a "weird heat" she didn't know how to extinguish.
She had tried. She had really, truly tried with Subaru.
After the incident at the lake, she had attempted to be "bold" in smaller ways. She would lean into him during their walks, or guide his hand to rest on her waist, or even try to sit so close their breaths mingled. But every time the air between them got heavy, Subaru would pull back. He was a gentleman to a fault. He would look at her with those pained, soulful eyes and tell her that he wanted her to be "sure" first.
"Emilia-tan, I want your heart first," he would say, his voice thick with a nobility that made Emilia want to scream. "I want to wait until you can say 'I love you' with no doubts. I don't want to rush you."
But his "patience" felt like a rejection. It made their interactions incredibly awkward. Emilia felt ashamed for wanting the touch more than the romantic confession. She felt "broken" because she couldn't give him the words he wanted, and he wouldn't give her the release her body screamed for. The more she tried to bridge the gap, the more he stepped back to "protect" her innocence—not realizing that her innocence was already gone, stolen by a drunken merchant three months ago.
She began to look at Otto and Frederica with a bitter, sharp jealousy. Why did they get to be so normal? Why did Otto get to be the one who woke her up, only to forget her existence as a woman entirely?
She was lonely, frustrated, and tired of being treated like a fragile spirit. She didn't want to be protected anymore. She wanted to be known.