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Translator: penny
Chapter: 2
Chapter Title: I Want to Fuck a Hero (2)
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"February, huh..."
Right after stepping out of the familiar conference room─which they were using for interviews because there was nowhere else─I pulled out my phone from my pocket and checked the date. I let out a deep, troubled sigh.
Roughly ten years and three months.
What should I even call this?
Time warp?
Past regression?
Whatever the term, something utterly bizarre, freaky, and inexplicable had happened.
My ability wasn't anything time-related.
I was just a healing-type transcendent─rare, sure, but that was it.
Put my hands on someone, tweak things this way and that, and poof!─heal them up in exchange for a bit of fatigue. That was the extent of it.
So why the hell did this happen?
I'd racked my brain over it a hundred times, but no answers.
I'd slapped my cheeks raw and even bitten into my own flesh before healing it, just to confirm this wasn't some dream...
Plus, I'd never heard of any hero with time-based powers like this.
And just now... well, the hero who shows up at this hideout ten years and three months from now? As far as I knew, she was a mutation-type transcendent.
Heroes who wield weapons are usually evolution-type or mutation-type anyway.
Even if not, she was famous enough that I recognized her on sight.
Code Name: Reaper.
Mutation-type. Base: snake.
A hero who somehow looked even more sinister than any villain─face, hairstyle, figure, the works. Hard to forget.
Anyway.
She was a mutation-type transcendent, so no way she sent me back to the past.
Even if she could, she had no reason to.
For redemption? To tell me to live right from now on?
As if. Ten years from now, I'd sworn to beat her and fuck her brains out while training for it.
Something's off...
Something's really...
"...Oh. It's raining."
Maybe because it was unseasonably mild for February.
Transparent raindrops trickled down the stairs.
This was the downside of an underground hideout. Sure, it hit that middle-school nostalgia hard, but if you didn't dig the drainage right, you'd end up with this mess in no time.
I'd nearly slipped and busted my ass a few times, so ditching it now was a blessing.
I grabbed a pitch-black umbrella from the stand, popped it open, and headed out without a second thought.
Tsking my tongue, I sidestepped a rainbow-slicked oil puddle by the car when─
The phone rang.
"..."
'Namho Brother' flashed on the screen.
Back then, I'd saved it like that because it felt romantic or some shit.
Even though I'd only met the guy once face-to-face.
Oh, and no, this wasn't the gorilla from earlier.
There was a guy who looked even rougher.
...Thinking back now, it was like a circus of ugly mugs working there.
Everyone but me.
"Hmmm..."
I considered ignoring it but pulled out my earphones instead.
No desire to live stressing as a powerless student.
Awakening and new ability concepts wouldn't spread for at least five more years.
I adjusted my umbrella and tapped the green call button.
"...Hey, Woo-jin."
A gravelly voice came through the earphones, like the guy chain-smoked three packs a day.
If he hadn't looked so damn rough, I might've dragged him to karaoke once.
"Yeah."
"So, we said all that talk from before is off the table, right?"
"In summary, yeah."
Fast talker. Nice.
I gave a half-assed reply out of habit and rummaged in my front pocket.
Nothing but stale air. Checked my pants pockets, patted my back ones─same deal.
Where is it? Staring dumbly at my empty hand, I snapped out of it and scratched my neck.
Cigarettes. Haven't smoked in this era.
"...Ah. Should I cut off a finger or something? Seen that in movies."
"You planning to let it happen nice and easy? You're a healer."
"A pinky knuckle might pass for quirky fashion."
Worried about getting snatched mid-call, I hurried to the main road and ducked my face under the umbrella rim.
"Anyway, Woo-jin."
"Yeah. Go ahead. Listening."
"We Koreans have that bond, right? How do you just ghost after a few visits?"
"..."
"I treated you so damn good those few days. Breaks my heart."
Looking back, I shouldn't have even visited.
Maybe because I was a fresh-faced adult in a kid's body. A villain alliance committing crimes in the city's shadows? Kinda thrilling, honestly.
I figured I'd snag a lady hero, tie her up, and do whatever the fuck I wanted.
Never dreamed they'd stick to murder, threats, terror─everything but rape─for a solid ten years...
"Healing-types are rare as hell. You know that. Most work as sidekicks for big-shot heroes."
"Yeah. Explains the sweet terms."
I kept it nice, scared he'd chase me with a steel pipe for badmouthing.
The contract salary was enough to laugh at major corp starting pay.
Though it was sketchy─yearly pay with performance bonuses...
Nearly ten years, and I'd never earned less than that. More, even.
"Company water not agree with you on visit day? Jonghyeok even showed you some fun stuff."
"Nah. Just... no big reason. Wanna live straight, so I'm out."
Jonghyeok.
The gorilla's name.
Fun? Only thing I remembered was him boiling ramen once.
Did it well, but that's it.
"Last time you said it was cool, like a secret org."
"Secret org won't look good on a resume."
"Worried about jobs? You were on TV as a kid."
"Who knows. Sudden power-up, could vanish just as quick."
Can't exactly say: Wanna fuck a few fan-worshipped heroes all night and train 'em to my tastes.
I bullshitted vaguely, and a slow exhale came through─sigh or smoke, hard to tell.
"...Fine. Fuck off then."
"Thanks."
"Ugh. Good luck job hunting."
Click.
Call ended.
Pulled out the earphones, and the lively rain patter tickled my ears again.
"Hmmm..."
...But something...
How to put it.
Way smoother send-off than expected?
He knew this hideout spot. Not a decoy─the real deal.
Shouldn't he at least gag me somehow?
If it were me, I'd kill first.
Tough? Instill fear some other way.
That's why I offered the finger first.
Guy bonds hard if you're "one of us," but not this nice to outsiders.
...Run for it?
Didn't get it, but tried positive spin.
Maybe figured clean exit beats no revenge for a rare healer.
Healing-types were insanely rare. Couldn't overstate it.
Hell, without my "fuck a hero" kink, I'd never glance at villains.
Saw me as stubborn, let go now, circle back later? Possible.
Okay. Next moves.
Figure why the time skip, search net for similar cases...
If it's psychosis, hit a hospital...
Hmm.
Heroes...
Hate to quit on 'em.
Too many perfect matches for my tastes.
What to do.
Ditch villains, but stick near heroes.
Something fresh and pure-smelling, but
a bit rough,
a bit sticky-sweet.
Mulling it over while crossing the crosswalk─
Tire screech.
Kyaak! Sharp scream beside me.
Rain splashed wild.
Screeech! Air ripped; shoulders jerked.
Sound from the wrong direction. Already past a few white lines, I quietly glanced left.
Swallowed hard.
Crunch, grind! A white sedan crumpled, tumbling wildly across the road─
"..."
─brushing past me, skidding away.
Cause: a dump truck barreling through the downpour.
Tons of weight─could smash sedans easy.
Saw the plate.
But so what.
Couldn't see the driver's face.
Umbrella blocked some, but truck windows were blacked out solid.
Aha.
That easy send-off mean this?
Or sleepy driving?
Weird. Rain like this, no clear look at my face from there.
Targeted hit possible?
Dunno.
Chance or fate.
This time, a hollow laugh escaped first.
What kinda bullshit ending is this.
Maybe 'cause I'd tasted death minutes ago.
And that impossible rewind?
IF. If I hadn't gone villain?
Flash that short story, then back to destined death?
...Whatever. Carrot then stick─twice the fuckery.
Broken ribs hurt less than that, probably. Shit.
How bad? Instant death might be mercy.
Act accepting,
cool,
no regrets.
Thoughts trailed with pathetic clinginess.
Laugh faded.
Heavy sigh took over.
Then─
Skreeeech!
Someone dashed past resigned me on the crosswalk.
Whoosh─late gust ripped my umbrella; I toppled.
Asphalt vs. bone? Asphalt wins nine times ten.
Tailbone screamed like cracked gold.
Before using my power on it─
BOOM! Heavy blast rocked the road.
Not like blowing up a car.
Weirdly huge noise startled me; forgot the pain, looked where truck came from.
"What, what? You record it?"
"Nah, how the fuck? Can't hit record instant. Guy crossing almost got smeared."
"Tire marks insane..."
Onlookers yapped away.
Rain soaked my umbrella-less hair.
Amid hiss of airbags,
Wee-oo, wee-oo sirens blaring─
"...Fucked up..."
A girl's small mutter cut through the rain. Calm tone for her age.
"Truck's big, so... super expensive, right...?"
Expensive, yeah, but not that much.
That white import that tumbled? Pricier than the truck.
"Still, did good. Whew... Compensation come through...? Gotta sort weekend gig first..."
Not summoning─used her own body to stomp the bumper dead still.
No flashy aerial magic barrage─not magic-type.
No wings, tail, horns─not mutation.
Left: evolution-type. Dramatic strength, no visible changes.
Foot off bumper; small ripple in rain-puddled road.
"Ah, shit, ankle... Gotta hit hospital too..."
Sloppy black ponytail swung wet.
Star-shaped ear piercing─likes accessories, huh.
Mint tee opaque even soaked; school jacket knotted at waist─
Miren Academy student. Ten blocks off.
"...Ahem, uh, y-you okay? Mister truck? Still alive?"
"..."
"Y-you gotta take responsibility..."
So...
A hero aspirant.
An injured-ankle hero aspirant.
"..."
A great idea hit me.