I wanted to start this like I'm writing an email but that would be too formal.
And I wanted to make a joke but I couldn't think of any .
But my brain was running and was in super speed thinking of one thing and that is if I'll ever have the guts to write this book to so that if reaches the right people.
And now here I am sharing the knowledge that I have and hoping you'll have the brains to understand what I'm about to share with you
In this book I won't only be sharing my own knowledge and experience but other women's experiences regarding this
It is an honor and a pleasure to have a voice as a woman and being able to have the ability to make decisions and to be confident no matter how black and white this world is and so what I'm about to share with you is something that will change your perspective as a woman if you want to though.
When I was young I was always a curious person and many people never understood me nor liked me but then the strange thing was that I liked people who didn't like me cause it just made me to give them a reason to not like me even more and I Don't mean it in a bad way but all I'm trying to say is that when it came to girls they hated me for my beauty even the ones that I found hot and attractive and cool they just didn't like me and the fact that I was literally always around them was the reason why they would even tease me and try to make me feel bad about myself but me I just looked at them and felt pity for them cause trying to put me down to me it just became obvious that these people aren't confident and I felt powerful cause I was used to being teased and I was used to being around negative people but because I surrounded myself with positive people it kinda helped me to grow and to see that not every person you meet is bad.
I remember when I was young before the teenage age I was bullied a lot and I would remain silent and sometimes would cry and not understand why they treat me differently from others and not understanding anything since I was young and I would cry and would try to make sure that at home they never see my tears or if they've hurt me. I remember there was once this guy who was my deskmate and we sat together everyday in class and I was always the quiet one and every teacher and student would wonder why am i always silent and I was different from all students and you know that at a young age we would be at a stage of being playful and always make noise weather class or outside the classroom. Classmates would find me weird and would make fun of me calling me names which were offensive and some of them got to me yet I acted like they didn't. At school I would act like I didn't care and would laugh about it and move on and it's something that I see now at my age that my personality was soo unique to a point where people won't like your presence.
I remember the boy who was my desk mate once abused me physically and I didn't say anything to him, I didn't make fun of him, I didn't laugh at him, I didn't pull a trick or trigger anything towards him yet he decided to lay a finger on me and since I was young I only cried and the moment the teacher arrived I acted like I was fine and smiled like nothing was wrong and now thinking about it I see that I was that type of a girl who beared everything in silence the pain, the torture, the anger and the sadness and yet I kept quiet and since my mom found me that day crying and trying to wipe my tears so that nobody notices she actually forced the truth out of me that's when I broke down and td her everything on how my classmate would beat me up and I didn't even do anything to him and so it they called the school teacher and made him apologize yet even though there was an apology for some reason it was still there, the pain and the anger that I didn't do anything to defend myself and felt like my silence was my enemy and I had to break out of it which took me time. Wounds may heal but there'll always be scars which is why I always say women go through a lot and challenges can start from childhood and the traumas will always be there and whenever you're alone you'll always think about it cause memories are there and you can never destroy them cause they are part of your life and your journey. Ever since I was young I would have the mentality of not saying an older person is lying or that you must idolize them and wish to be as strong as them yet that wasn't even a benefit for me cause it just made things to spiral. I remember there was a time I was in a friend's group where we were 12 and one of the friends despised me as though I did something to her and I'd always try my hardest best to warm up to her and since I was a softie I would even want to help her out with stuff but she just hated me to a point where she spoke bad of me and I kept quiet and bared everything in silence when I would get home I would think about it and cry in bed while everyone was asleep just to make sure they don't ask me what's wrong cause that was one of the questions I hated then they would start comforting you and I didn't want that I felt like feelings were stupid and that you should never cry in front of adults it will make you look stupid. In my childhood I had learned how to fight anger and pain In silence and even though I thought it was helpful it actually wasn't and thinking about it just makes me see more of myself that there will always be situations and silence is the best option but not all situations need silence some need you to shout and let your voice to be heard cause if it's not heard even In those situations you will seem weak and end up being weak and everyone will try to use you like a doormat so always remember to speak up in those days were you wanna speak up and fear can kill your potential as a person and so you should never fear to confront people and tell them how you feel as long as you're alive and you're human you have every right to tell people to stop treating you badly and if some people ain't worth confronting just leave their lives and act like they never existed or perhaps they died a miserable death trust me it always helps cause you'll feel free and move on fast like a bee and start interacting with the right people.