I found myself driving to the church and I arrived unharmed. The speed I was driving at was more than enough to get me in an accident and kill me right away.
I parked my car and walked into the house of the Lord. It was empty so I went straight to the front and went down on my knees. My tears fell down as I couldn't say what was hurting me. I finally gathered the strength and called out my Lord and savior.
"Heavenly father I kneel before you as a broken woman, my husband has committed adultery but I trust in your love to give me strength. Father give me power to fight this as the devil came into my house dressed in skirts and tempted my husband, if this is your doing my Lord then let it be it. Heal me father, show me the right path and lead me to where my happiness lies. Do not let the devil take over my life rather save me from any evil done to destroy my life. I have faith in you, I ask for a heart that is pure, I ask for peace and abundance in my life, I ask for positivity in the name of Jesus I believe all I ask will be done in your mighty name Amen."
I took a deep sigh and a sweet voice echoed on the walls of the empty church. It was the pastor's wife and her voice was angelic.
"It is good that you came to the house of the Lord, believe that he will heal you and show you the way," she said.
I turned and smiled at her as I got up, wiping my tears.
"I am sorry, there was no other place I could think of," I said.
"No, don't apologize my child, the temple of God will always be open for those who seek comfort. Do not apologize, you did not do anything wrong. The house of the Lord is always open for everyone to come and release the heavy load," she said.
"And I feel like it is such a heavy load that he has given me," I replied.
"God doesn't give you a burden you can't carry, he knows you are capable of fighting whatever you are going through. I heard your prayer from start to end, God shall grant you the strength you need, and know that he is never too late nor too early he is just on time. Allow him in your heart and you'll see him performing miracles in your life," she told me.
We sat down on one of the benches and she held my hands.
"Thank you for the reviving words Ma, but can you give me advice on what I can do with the situation that I am facing?" I asked.
She exhaled.
"I cannot tell you what to do but I can give you guidance on what you can try doing first. Yes your husband committed adultery, broke his vows that he said in front of the Lord, but my dear forgiveness is key. He did you wrong I agree but forgive him my dear for your own peace and sake. Do not let hatred take out the humbleness in you, replace it with forgiveness. Act in humbleness because if you do not, the devil will take over your life and you do not want that. The devil will make you do things that are not in Christ. Forgiveness is key," she said.
"Thank you for sharing this with me Ma, you've opened my eyes," I said.
"Remember to not act in an unholy way and remember that God is always with you okay," she said.
I nodded. A girl child about ten years of age walked in and greeted us with her head slightly looking down in respect.
"Hey, I am sorry to disturb you but prophetess someone is asking for you in the Sunday school class," the child said.
"Okay my child, I'll be there just now," she replied.
"Okay Ma," the girl said and walked back out.
"My dear, as you can see I am needed, please think about what I said okay sisi," the pastor's wife said.
I nodded.
"Thank you Ma, I should probably go too," I said.
"Travel safely sis, don't forget to pray, he will never leave you nor forsake you my dear," she said.
"Okay Ma," I replied.
We let go and she walked to the other door and I exited the church feeling much better. I got in my car and drove to the petrol station. I filled my car up and bought flowers. I found myself driving towards the Forest Hill cemetery. That is where we laid my mother to rest. I got out of the car and walked to where her grave was.
God decided to take her away from me. She was at peace now but it's hard to forget her. She was such a lovely mother, down to earth and an advocate for education, a lady who believed in herself. I miss her. I placed the flowers on the tombstone slab and talked to the silent grave.
"Mom I wish you were here with me, life is getting bitter for me and I miss you but that is not why I am here. You taught me to always trust in the power of the Lord and be a strong woman, for that lesson I thank you very much. I hope you are resting peacefully and no longer feel the pains of this world. I would have loved to come here with grandkids but God hasn't granted me with one yet, I guess he is waiting for the perfect time," I said.
I spent an hour or two talking to her, telling her about my trip to and back from Tanzania, the painting and drawing I had worked on, and my exhibitions. I somehow felt her presence even though it was dead quiet. I felt closer to her. The sun had already set and I knew I should head back to the house as it was getting dark.
"I have to go now mom, I will visit you again and I miss you every day. You don't even visit me in my dreams anymore, but it is okay," I said.
I smiled and walked back to my car. I drove from the graveyard back to the estate. It was one long drive but worth it as my spirit was revived. I parked my car in the yard and I noticed a white Chevy Spark in the driveway. I wondered who would visit at such a time.
Nonetheless, I walked inside the house through the kitchen door and I was met by Sean's PA, Sandra. Oh my God, what was she doing in my house? The baby bump was visible and she was drinking a glass of water, looking so much at home. What did this woman want in my house? I was being tested.