Back in my room, I yanked the dog collar from around my neck and tossed it into a drawer with a huff.
Really? A dog collar? What am I, the mansion's pet now?
Miko and Lisa's laughter still echoed in my ears. Shaking off the embarrassment, I turned my focus to something more productive: upgrading the mansion's security.
If I had to be the only maid, at least I'd be a tech-savvy one.
First things first, though. I was still in my everyday clothes, which, after a week in the hospital, felt like they had been soaked in old-sock stew.
I started unbuttoning my shirt, each button feeling like it was made of lead.
Ugh, hospital stench mixed with sweat—just what every girl dreams of coming home to. Finally free of the shirt, I tossed it into the laundry basket, aiming for a "nothing but net" shot. Missed by a mile.
Whatever, I'll pick it up later.
I wiggled out of my pants, trying not to think too hard about what the hospital floor had contributed to their current condition.
Pants off, I added them to the growing heap in the basket. A week in the hospital had done a number on my clothes, and judging by the smell, a number on my nose, too.
Socks next, peeled off and flung, but I missed the basket again. My accuracy was as great as my week had been.
Wearing only my underwear, I wandered over to the mirror. Great, just great—stitches on my tummy. I poked at the scar, feeling both proud and annoyed.
"A stab wound, seriously? What next, a pirate hook for a hand?" I muttered.
My stomach growled in reply.
Maybe it had a point—less complaining, more showering.
I grabbed my towel and headed for the bathroom, stripping off my underwear as I went. Stepping into the shower, I cranked the water to hot and waited for it to warm up, doing the awkward cold-water dance while I did. Finally, steam began to rise, and I stepped in, letting out a sigh of pure bliss as the hot water hit my skin.
"Ohhh yes, this is heaven," I groaned. "Goodbye, hospital funk; hello, cleanliness." I scrubbed at my skin like I was trying to erase a week's worth of bad decisions, watching the grime swirl down the drain. "Maybe I should install a security camera in here just to make sure no one's sneaking in to steal my soap. Who knows what kind of weirdos might be lurking around this place."
I lathered up my hair, feeling the tension in my shoulders start to melt away. "Why does shampoo always smell so good? Like, I want to drink it, but I know that's a bad idea. Hospital food might've made me desperate, but I'm not that desperate. Yet."
I rinsed off and took a moment to inspect the stab wound again. "You're not winning any beauty contests, buddy," I told the scar. "But you'll do. A little battle damage never hurt anyone... except when it did. Like, when I got stabbed."
Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped myself in the towel, feeling cleaner and more human by the second. "Note to self: no more getting stabbed. Also, figure out where to put all those security cameras. And maybe a laser grid. Can't be too careful."
I padded back to my room, dripping water on the floor as I went. Time to get into my uniform. I pulled open the wardrobe and selected my maid outfit—a crisp, black dress with white accents that made me look like I was ready for a fancy costume party.
Slipping it on, I tugged the fabric into place and fastened the buttons, feeling a weird sense of satisfaction as I smoothed out the skirt.
Nothing like a clean uniform to make you feel like you've got your life together, even if it's just for a minute.
I tied on my apron, adjusting the bow in the back. "Alright, Y/N, you're back in action," I said to my reflection, giving myself a determined nod. "Mansion security, here I come."
Feeling a bit more like myself, I grabbed my phone and started jotting down notes for the security upgrades.
I started researching brands of cameras and alarms. High-resolution cameras, motion sensors, probably some night vision capability... Why are there so many types of security cameras? Do I want the one that's waterproof or the one that can detect ghosts?
Jotting down a list of what seemed like a million items: cameras, alarms, cables, mounts, screw drivers, galvanized square steel and a ton of other little tools.
This was going to be a full-scale operation. But wait, this mansion is like a treasure trove of random stuff. Maybe we already have some of these tools.
Determined to find out, I left my room and wandered through the mansion's labyrinthine halls. Why does this place have to be so huge? It's like living in a gothic version of Ikea, and I'm constantly getting lost. Plus, the eerie silence doesn't help my nerves.
If I see another "ghost" around here, I'm just gonna quit and become a professional couch potato.
After a few minutes of aimless wandering, I turned a corner and nearly collided with Ms. Signora. She was in a bathrobe, looking effortlessly elegant and slightly intimidating as always.
Of course, she even makes a bathrobe look like high fashion. Meanwhile, I look like I just crawled out of a dumpster.
"Uh, Ms. Signora," I began, trying to sound professional but probably coming off as a nervous wreck. "I was wondering if we have any tools around here for installing cameras and alarms?"
She fixed me with a gaze that felt like it could see right through me, her eyes slowly traveling from my head to my toes and back right up.
Oh great, now she thinks I'm an idiot. Why did I even ask? I should've just googled how to install security cameras with glue.
"Tools?" she repeated, her tone flat but not unkind. "What kind of tools do you need, exactly?"
"Well, um," I stammered, fumbling with my phone to show her the list I had compiled. "I need drills, mounting brackets, maybe some cabling tools, things like that. For the security cameras and alarms."
Her gaze shifted to the phone screen, then back to me. "No, we don't have the tools. Follow me."
Nodding quickly, I followed her through the mansion. Her bathrobe flowed behind her like some sort of royal cloak. She's got this whole Queen of Darkness vibe going on. Maybe I should ask her to wear a crown next time, or fight a lightning god.
We arrived at her room, which always unnerved me with its meticulous order and expensive décor. She motioned for me to wait, disappearing into the walk-in closet.
A moment later, she returned with a stack of cash. She handed it to me without a word, her expression as unreadable as ever.
Okay, is this a test? Do I have to fight a dragon or something for this money?
"Uh, what's this for?" I asked, staring at the money in my hand like it might bite me.
"You'll need to buy the tools," she said coolly. "And get yourself a decent laptop while you're at it. You'll need it to operate the security system."
Dumbfounded. She's just giving me money to buy a laptop? Did I enter a parallel universe where Signora is suddenly generous?
"Wait a minute, Ms. Signora," I said, realization dawning. "This isn't coming out of my salary, is it?"
She arched an eyebrow. "No. It's for the mansion's improvement. Consider it an investment and a welcome back gift."
Investment and a welcome back gift. Great, now I'm going to actually be a security dog along with the other crazy tasks they give me. Should I start practicing my barking?
"Thank you, Ms. Signora," I said, trying to sound grateful and not like a deer caught in headlights. "I appreciate it."
She nodded, her expression softening just a fraction. "Just make sure it's done right, Y/N. We need to ensure everyone's safety."
"Of course," I replied quickly. "I'll take care of it."
As I left her room, clutching the stack of cash like it was some sort of lifeline. Note to self: figure out how much this place is worth because they're literally throwing money around.
Walking back through the halls, I couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all. One minute, I'm being humiliated with a dog collar, and the next, I'm being handed cash to upgrade the mansion's security. This place is a rollercoaster of weirdness.
I passed by various rooms, mentally noting spots where cameras could be placed. The grand staircase, the main hall, maybe one in the library... If I'm going to turn this place into a fortress, I might as well do it right. And hey, if it means fewer surprises for me, all the better.
Approaching my room again, I caught sight of Kafka in the distance. Not wanting another teasing for the dog collar earlier, I quickly slipped inside and closed the door behind me. Time to figure out exactly what I need and where to get it.
Spreading out the cash on my desk, I couldn't help but marvel at it. This is a lot of money. Enough to buy a good laptop and all the tools I need. And maybe even some snacks. Priorities, right?
Picking up my phone, I started making a list of stores and websites where I could get everything. This was going to be a shopping trip to remember. And if it means I can finally get this place secured, then it's worth every penny.
So, laptops, drills, mounting brackets... I'm coming for you. But how am I going to carry all this back? This is going to be a circus act. Why didn't I just get them to transfer the money to my account, like my salary? Then I could order everything online and avoid this mess.
Grabbing my phone, I called Lisa and Miko, who had left the mansion only half an hour ago. This is going to be interesting.
"Hey, Lisa, Miko, it's me," I said, trying to sound casual. "I need you guys to turn the car around."
"What? Why?" Miko's voice crackled through the speaker.
"You know, because we have a super top-secret mission to do," I said, putting on my best mock-serious tone. "And you're the only two I can trust with this task."
"You're kidding, right?" Lisa laughed. "As long as you pay for the gas, we're in."
"Deal," I said quickly. "And I'll even buy your meals. My treat."
"Well, in that case, we're on our way," Miko said. "Hang tight."
Relieved, I headed out of my room and made my way through the mansion. Just as I was about to exit, I bumped into Arlecchino, who eyed me with her usual detached interest.
"Where are you going?" she asked, her voice still cold but not as cutting.
"Uh, just heading out to buy some stuff for the mansion," I explained, trying to sound confident. "Security upgrades and all that."
Her gaze softened just a fraction. "Couldn't you ask Ms. Signora to wire the money instead? You know, to avoid carrying all that cash?"
I hesitated. "Honestly, I'm too scared to ask her. She might think I'm ordering her around or something."
Arlecchino let out a small, almost imperceptible sigh. "Fine. Be quick about it."
"I will," I promised, ducking out of the mansion and making my way to the gate.