Agatha's Point of View
"So that's it, huh? You're really letting me live in this hospital?" I crossed my arms and looked out the window. I watched the stillness of the sky like I had always been doing to calm my nerves down. I heaved out a heavy sigh and cheered myself up. That's it, Agatha, don't cry Agatha, don't cry.
"Anak, it would be better if you stay here. The doctors can observe you better. You know your condition, right?" my mom insisted so I just took a deep breath.
[Anak refers to your child, could be daughter or son]
Yes, my condition is different because I could just fall asleep anywhere and anytime, whatever I'm doing. And yes, my sleep is longer than what normal people experience. I get it, I'm not a normal 16 years old girl but I'm 200% sure that I'm not sick. I'm not dying. I just can't control myself.
Have you ever felt like you're slipping away from life?
Well, that's how I feel every damn day.
"Mom, what I need to feel better is to have a normal life. I want to go to school and have friends. Is it too much to ask?" I didn't face her while I was speaking because I feel like the tears in my eyes would fall down at any given moment.
"I love you Agatha, we'll visit you every week. Take care of yourself." I could sense the tremble in her voice and I knew she was already close to crying. I closed my eyes when I felt her warm tight hug. After kissing my cheeks, she quickly left and didn't spare a glance.
I guess that's the best way to say goodbye, and it's even better because I wouldn't get to see her crying. She loves me, my whole family loves me… and I know they're just distancing themselves because I could just disappear at any moment… I'm a walking disaster.
I took a deep breath once again, lied on the bed instead and put my earphones on.
•••
"I'm gonna break your little heart
Why'd you take the fall
Laughing on your way to the hospital"
I closed my eyes while listening to the song. I feel like I could really fall asleep at any moment in this bed, and it's a good thing that the mattress my mom bought for me was too soft.
Wait, what's that? Why do I feel like something's breathing near my face?
Damn it! I think I forgot to lock the door.
I opened my eyes to check if there's anyone inside my room yet I was surprised to be greeted by a boy's face. Both of our faces were so close to each other that I could feel his breath against my face. I couldn't help but to scream when his eyes suddenly widened. OMG! What if he's a rapist?!
"Who are you?! What are you doing here?!" I quickly pushed him away and took the broom from the floor. I was just about to slap him with it when he suddenly ran away.
"Weirdo!" I shouted and immediately locked the door.
I could tell that he's a patient too based on what he was wearing. On the bright side, his black beanie makes him look kinda cute – kinda, I think?
It's bad enough that I'll be staying in this hospital and now I'll have to bear with that weirdo. But let's just see if that guy tries to sneak in again and he'll get a taste of a flying kick in his balls.
I released a big sigh before roaming my eyes in my empty room. The faded yellow paint on the wall looked so lifeless, it was bland and had no decorations at all, there was only a curtain and a bed. That's all. Wow! My life has officially sucked more than it ever sucked.
Wait, have I mentioned that my life sucks?
Nah, my life will forever suck.
There was a series of knocks from the door so I immediately picked up the broom from the floor again for defense. Does that guy really want to be beaten up?!
"Agatha, hija? Open the door." I heard the voice of an old man outside. Wait, how does he know my name?
I slowly opened the door, but I didn't fully open it. Just enough for me to check who's outside.
"Hija, there's a rule in this hospital to never lock your door." The old nurse was smiling the whole time he said those words. I sighed in relief.
"Oh, I'm sorry!" I chuckled and opened the door even wider. "I'm really really sorry, a crazy guy just entered my room earlier. It scared me." I explained, and I was confused when he suddenly laughed while scratching the back of his head.
"I'm just going to ask, was that crazy guy tall? Slightly pale and had almond shaped eyes?" he asked and I was confused even more because his description was just on point.
"Yeah, that idiot looks like that. He was wearing this black beanie." I explained but he laughed even more.
"Well, that idiot named Cooper is harmless even if he looks harmful. Don't worry, hija, even if he looks and acts crazy, he won't hurt you. I think both of you are even the same age." He chuckled. Are they close? It seems like that patient has been staying in the hospital for a while now.
"Hey old man I heard that!" We suddenly heard a shout from the other room.
"But it's true!" the old nurse replied back.
Wait… so that stupid guy is not only a patient here but also my neighbor?!
Ugghh. Kill me now.
"And by the way, I'm Leo. Just call me Kuya and not Uncle or Lolo. I am the head nurse in this ward. If you need something, just tell me. I'll bring you your medicine everyday. What do you feel? Is the room fine?" he asked.
He's still talkative given his old age. "Poor thing, he's still working even though he's already old.
"I'm not really okay. I don't really want to be here but I couldn't do anything. Thank you for everything." I smiled and forced myself to laugh. This is the only thing I do to not let myself look too pitiful.
"You're not okay but you can still smile like that? I'm impressed by you, Hija. If you hadn't told me you don't like it here, I would've assumed that you're happy. Don't worry, everyone here feels the same as you. But are you really sure you don't need anything?" he asked again so I roamed my eyes again to the whole room.
It's true that I'm not really comfortable here, but I'll have to find a way so I can learn to like it, somehow.
"Do you have any paint? It just looks bland and lifeless everywhere." I asked.
"Ah, sure, yes, I'll just get it from the bodega. Just change your clothes so they won't regard you as a guest here," he reminded before leaving.
I looked at my own clothes.
I'll surely miss wearing normal clothes because from now on, I'll have to wear a patient's gown everyday. Hayy, what a life. It sucks.
Notes of the author translated in English:
Narcolepsy does exist. But in Agatha's case, the part where she sleeps longer is exaggerated. Other than that, I can assure you that there are really people with the same sleeping disorder that just falls asleep randomly.