I am fine.
Two words.one big lie.
We say it so casually, even when we are drowning inside. Not because we love lying- but because we are scared that no one really wants the truth.
Sometimes, I am fine means:
I just want someone to ask again- and actually listen.
I don't have the energy to explain what's wrong.
I am tired of being strong for everyone.
I don't have courage for eye contact as if I am somehow disappointed by my real one till they did not convinced me that they are guilty for what they did.It is really a feeling of deep sorrow in such condition you may avoid them.It shows your true feeling.
The truth is we all have masterd the art of faking okay. We smile with heavy hearts. We laugh while breaking inside. Because we have been taught that vulnerability is weakness-when in reality it is the most honest thing about us.
Behind every I am fine, there is a storm no one sees-because no one bothers to look twice.
I am fine: I am emotionally exhausted, mentally spinning, and physically present like a downloaded file that will not open. It is just code for rebuilding myself in silence.