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Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 5
Chapter Title: Villain and the Park
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The warm embrace of the blanket was the most perfect space in the world. A utopia utterly shielded from outside interference—this body's personal fortress!
Then, a sweet fragrance tickled the tip of my nose. It was as if the entire world had been crafted from dessert. Rich, velvety chocolate cake, fluffy whipped cream, and sweet, creamy pudding...
"A tribute of desserts offered to this body, conqueror of the world! An attempt to soothe my wrath with sweet offerings!"
I sat upon my throne, lifting a slice of cake to my lips, when suddenly the scenery around me began to warp. The mountains of dessert crumbled, and the golden throne collapsed.
The next instant, a bank lobby sprawled out before me.
"Great Grimoire! You are our hero!"
"Thank you, hero! Thank you for saving us!"
"The kindest and cutest hero in history!"
The citizens applauded and cheered for me.
📰 Breaking News Newbie hero 'Great Grimoire' crushes bank robbery gang!
"Eek! This body is an evil villain! All of you should kneel in terror!"
I bolted upright with a scream. Cold sweat trickled down my forehead.
"Phew... Thank goodness. It was all just a dream."
I pulled the blanket back over myself. Being called a hero? That was truly the worst nightmare.
"Master, it's been one hour past wake-up time."
I whipped my head around in surprise at Everlin's voice. How long had she been standing there?
As always, my perfect maid stood there with an expressionless face.
"Hm... Today calls for deep contemplation on world conquest. I need a bit more sleep."
Everlin's gaze bored into me, but I ignored it and buried my face in the pillow.
World conquest is important, of course, but so is this body's morning sleep!
Besides, the utmost villainy requires the utmost rest!
"Master, it's already past 10 a.m. Today's villainy plans are all being delayed."
"...Just five more minutes."
"You said that thirty minutes ago."
"This body is a villain! Villains don't need to wake up early! Let the heroes train at dawn!"
Yesterday's horrific memory resurfaced—the pathetic reality where this body was mistaken for a hero!
I yanked the blanket tighter.
If I could just sleep forever like this, yesterday's humiliation would cease to exist, right?
Farewell, world! This body departs once more for the realm of dreams!
And so, Grimoire ceased her thinking—
Swish—
"Eek! My eyes!!"
Suddenly, blinding sunlight flooded the room. Everlin had flung open the curtains.
It's the weekend, so sleeping in a little should be fine...!
"Master, I've prepared special black tea and blueberry scones for breakfast."
Blueberry scones...?
If it's Everlin's special scones... crispy exterior, soft interior, and perfectly balanced blueberry jam...
Ugh, but the bed is so warm. I can eat the scones later, right?
"Sigh... What a shame."
I heard Everlin sigh. Was she finally giving up?
In that case, victory is mine today! World conquest may be distant, but in the bed wars, this body is invincible!
"While you sleep, other villains are out committing wicked deeds..."
Hm? Other villains?
"I saw on the morning news that a new villain appeared. They robbed a big supermarket... I'm worried they might steal your spot, Master."
What?! Other villains getting ahead of this body?
"How dare they encroach on this body's domain! The world's greatest villain is none other than I! They won't like provoking the sleeping Grimoire!"
I shot upright. Or tried to.
Thud!
"Ugh... What is this?!"
My head felt heavy. What the—my horn was stuck in the pillow! My favorite pillow now had a hole!
"Everlin! Get this off me...!"
"Pfft, I'll help you, Master."
"What? Did you laugh? You just laughed, didn't you?"
"No. Absolutely not. It's just... your morning appearance looks so love... er, dignified."
Everlin approached and carefully removed the pillow. A faint smile flickered across her lips before vanishing.
"More importantly, tell me about that news! Daring to eye this body's position—what kind of villain is it? Robbed a supermarket? Do you know what villainy they're planning next? This body will pay them a visit and teach them what a true villain is!"
"Ah, actually, there was no such news."
"...What?"
"It was a little ploy to wake you up."
Realizing I'd been tricked, my face burned.
"Everlin! To deceive this body...!"
"It'd be best to eat breakfast before it gets cold. The scones are past their prime temperature."
The blueberry scones' aroma tempted me like the devil's whisper. Gah, this rivals the allure of burgers and fries...
"Hmph! I'll forgive you just this once! Be grateful for this body's generosity!"
I leaped out of bed. A great villain must sometimes overlook a subordinate's minor faults!
"Today, I'll commit even greater villainy! I'll make everyone forget yesterday's misunderstanding and etch the image of a true villain into their minds!"
"Perhaps change clothes first..."
Only then did I realize I was in my bunny pajamas.
"Uh... Er. This body can pull it off! Even in bunny pajamas, I can instill fear!"
I bluffed, but my reflection in the mirror was pathetic. Pink pajamas with bunny ears, tousled silver hair, and a horn that had popped out from the pillow...
"Master, how about breakfast first? I'll prepare your bath in the meantime."
Everlin was flawless as always. Immaculate maid outfit, black hair tied back, unflappable demeanor.
I should keep some distance from Everlin when making villain declarations. My greatness and wickedness might get overshadowed. Everyone would just stare at her!
*
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Everlin's breakfasts were always perfect.
The table held a spread fit for royalty. Black tea steamed from the cup, flanked by crispy-looking blueberry scones, fresh fruit salad, and fluffy eggs.
"Everlin is the universe's greatest maid!"
"You're too kind, Master."
At first, I tried to eat elegantly like her.
Using fork and knife with refined grace, but...
Nom nom!
I ended up devouring it ravenously. Come to think of it, table manners are unnecessary for a villain on the cusp of world conquest!
I stuffed my mouth with scone. Crispy crust, soft insides, and perfectly sweet blueberry jam in harmony.
Long life has its perks! Though I've only been awake for two years!
"Master, you have jam on your mouth. You could eat a bit slower..."
"Hmph! Villains have no time! Every moment is a chance for world conquest!"
I shoved another scone in whole. Eating delicious food slowly? Everlin says the oddest things sometimes!
"By the way, Master, about yesterday..."
I nearly spat out my black tea. Yesterday? Bringing up that nightmare?!
"Don't mention it! It was clearly a mistake! This body is so perfect, they mistook me for a hero!"
"So, what plan have you devised for today?"
Everlin's question sparked a flash of inspiration.
Yes, this body's genius mind has turned yesterday's failure into a lesson for a greater scheme!
"Kakakat! Today, I shall conquer the park!"
"The park...?"
"Indeed! S City East Park will become this body's territory! Seizing a gathering spot for citizens will showcase my dominance to all! First, I'll occupy the park as the foundation for my empire!"
"Operation: Park Conquest... A splendid plan, Master."
"First, the playground will become a training ground for cultivating evil minions!"
I thrust my hands into the air, outlining the plan.
"The jungle gym will be remade into a deadly labyrinth, the merry-go-round into a villain centrifuge to temper future subordinates! Only children who endure those horrific trials will qualify as this body's elite warriors! The weak will be culled, and only the strong shall survive!"
"A truly terrifying plan, Master. But how do you plan to convince the parents of the children at the playground?"
"Hmph! Simple! Explain to the parents that this playground is the ultimate villain training facility. That their children have greater prospects as villains than as ordinary office workers!"
I dashed back to my room and changed quickly. Something more practical today.
Jeans, a 'Villain Never Cry' T-shirt, and a small cross necklace.
Even villains need casual charm sometimes. It'll highlight my cute... no, terrifying appearance!
"Master, the sun is strong—how about a hat?"
"No need! I need photosynthesis to grow taller! This body will become a 5-meter-tall giant villain!"
"You're not a plant, Master..."
At the front door, Everlin saw me off, holding a lunchbox bag.
"I wish you success in your conquest. Here's your lunch and some snacks for the way."
"Good! When this body returns, I'll be the undisputed ruler of the park! From now on, it'll be called 'Grimoire Park'! All citizens will bow before my statue!"
I strode out confidently. No hero treatment today—absolutely not!
***
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S City East Park sparkled under the weekend morning sun.
Joggers along the paths, dog walkers, elderly folks reading on benches... A picture of perfect peace.
Perfect. Is there a better stage for villainy?
My heart swelled as I passed the entrance. This would be the starting point of the Grimoire Empire!
"Kakakat! From now on, this is Grimoire Empire territory! Tremble, puny humans! Pay taxes every time you breathe the park's fresh air!"
A few joggers paused to look my way at my declaration.
Huh? Already having an effect?
"Oh my, that kid's cute. Some kind of play?"
"Horns too... Cosplay? They're really into it. Looks so real!"
"Drama shoot? Or YouTube?"
They smiled and resumed jogging. No one took my declaration seriously!
Ugh... This reaction again! Not a hero, but a cute kid now? Where has this body's dignity gone?
Foolish humans, you have no idea of my terror yet! Just wait!
I pulled out the park map from my bag. Everlin had marked the full layout in detail.
I took out a red pen and circled strategic points one by one.
"Bench... bench... bench..."
I muttered while marking circles. Benches are the park's key strategic assets! A park without rest spots is worthless!
"Operation commence! Seize all benches!"
First target: the bench by the fountain.
I dashed over and claimed it, planting a small flag from my bag on one end.
"This bench is now Grimoire Empire territory! Dare not trespass!"
I scanned for the next. There! A bench under a large zelkova tree.
Shaded and cool—definitely popular. A prime strategic spot!
But an old man was already sitting there.
Hm, what to do? Chase him off with force? Or skip to another?
After a moment's thought, inspiration struck.
"Hey, old timer! This body specially appoints you as guardian of this bench! From now on, regard it as an honor to be a Grimoire Empire citizen!"
The old man looked up with a smile.
"Aigoo, what a cute kid. Alright, Grandpa will guard it. Just this bench?"
"Not cute! This body is a great villain and conqueror!"
Daring to call me a 'kid'! Must be senile, can't see straight!
Anyway, another bench conquered! And I gained a guardian!
"Good! Bench secured!"
I placed another small flag beside the old man, who took it chuckling.
"What's this, a company flag? I was in the army back in the day..."
"Greater than any flag! It's the Grimoire Empire banner! Hold it, and after I conquer the world, you'll get tax breaks!"
And so, I toured the benches, forcibly recruiting elders!
Of course, it wasn't always smooth. The old folks were all chatterboxes.
Grandpa bragging about grandkids, grandma's old tales... Wasting this body's precious time on trivial stories! A villain's time squandered on chit-chat!
...It wasn't half bad, though.
This is benevolence, overlooking future subjects!
"Next time, this granny will bring homemade kimbap. You're too skinny—eat more."
"Wanna be friends with my granddaughter? Same age."
"Aigoo, you remind me of her. Come every week."
Cheeky granny. Every week? Treating me like a volunteer!
"Hmph... I'll make unannounced inspections to check your guardianship! Stay vigilant!"
"Sure, sure."
"So cute."
"Such a good kid."
"This body isn't cute! I'm an evil, terrifying villain!"
I protested, but their smiles grew warmer.
Not even wary of me. Are they all senile? What if they fall for some NFT scam?
Guess this body will have to educate them regularly! Being an evil sovereign comes with responsibilities!