Hmm-hmm-hmm~
Mm, I'm in a pretty good mood today.
It's already been two months since I joined. I've properly learned how to make weapons from drop items, and my seniors have been saying good things about me.
It sounds like I'll be able to supply goods to Babel sometime next week... Ah, of course, they'll be sold under my name alone, not under Lady Hephaestus's. Only High Smiths of Level 2 or above can sell things bearing our Familia's mark. I'm not there yet.
Maybe I'll pay Limus a visit for the first time in a while. Let's see, down this alley... Was it here?
"Hey! Open the door!"
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
"Shut up, you horny bastard!"
"What are you going to do about it, shrimp?"
"Fuck, is being short a crime?! Is it?!"
"Yeah. So, how tall are you?"
"Aaaaaaaaaah!"
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After trading banter like that for a while—though Limus seemed to have meant it... at least a little—I went into Azure Wind.
"So, what brings you here?"
"Does a friend need a reason to visit? You don't meet because you have a reason; you make a reason because you want to meet."
"You little shit. If you'd just keep your mouth shut..."
He said that, but apparently he was feeling a little better about being mocked for his height, because his expression eased slightly.
"By the way, hasn't public safety around here been shaky lately? I heard people say that on the Daedalus side, it'd be stranger not to hear screams at night."
"This place has never had a peaceful day, what with the back-alley Familias fighting over territory. That's why the cheap potions sold at our shop do so well, though."
"...They don't extort protection money from you or anything?"
"I get by by giving a slight discount on potions to the back-alley Familia people. I'm the only one selling potions on Daedalus Street, so I have some leverage. Without me, they'd have to go out and buy them, and they're much more expensive outside than they are here."
"Supply and demand, plus a monopoly as the sole seller."
"That said, if I cross the line with my prices, they'll slit my throat and just buy them outside. The only reason they leave this place alone is convenience. If the additional price they pay me outweighs that convenience, they'll deal with this place and buy from outside instead."
"It's like the relationship between a crocodile and a crocodile bird..."
"That's an analogy I've never heard before."
"Ah... They're animals from where I used to live. To put it simply, there's an animal with an enormous number of teeth, and a very small bird. When the animal called a crocodile eats another animal, lots of bits of meat get stuck between its teeth. If it leaves them there, they rot and affect its other teeth too."
"And?"
"So a tiny bird called a crocodile bird, barely the size of a sparrow, stands in the gaps between the crocodile's teeth while it holds its mouth open and picks out the bits of meat one by one to eat them. The crocodile is happy because its teeth don't get damaged, and the bird is happy because it can fill its belly. But if the bird gets too fat to properly remove the scraps wedged between the teeth, or another bird comes along that does a better job than it, then the moment the crocodile bird lands between the crocodile's teeth..."
"..."
"...the crocodile will snap its mouth shut."
When the story ended, silence suddenly settled between us.
I'd come here to hang out, but it felt like we'd only talked about heavy things...
"Anyway, I heard a new tavern opened on West Main Street. Want to check it out sometime? Rumor says a retired high-level adventurer opened it."
"Why would an adventurer open a tavern? They should just live well off the money they've earned... What's it called?"
"I think... it was the Hostess of Fertility?"
"...What?"
"Mm... I'm pretty sure it was something about fertility."
"No... It must be the Hostess of Fertility. I think I've heard of it too. Are you busy tonight?"
"I'll be busy for a while. Like I said, the people around here fight practically every day, so I need to keep the stock filled in advance."
"All right. Let's go together once you have time."
"You leaving?"
"Yep, I'm leaving. Drink some milk and grow a little taller."
"[Very Severe Pallum Insult]"
"Whoa, whoa. I'm going."
"{Very Severe Orario Curse}"
"Yeah, yeah. It was great seeing you too!"
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The Hostess of Fertility... Come to think of it, didn't they say it was founded around ten years before the original story? I'd asked to be sent to around ten years before the original story, so the timeline fit.
...A good idea came to me.
1. The Hostess of Fertility has only just opened, so it doesn't have any regulars yet.
2. There are still ten years until the original story.
3. Mia Grand, the owner of the Hostess of Fertility, is Level 6.
4. If I become a regular now, I'll be a Level 6's regular for ten years.
5. My life will be safe! (And if I become close with Mia Grand from now on, I can get close to the beautiful waitresses later too.)
It might look as though that last bonus was the most important part, but that's a misunderstanding.
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...Really.
All right, starting today, I'm a regular at the Hostess of Fertility!
...After I earn some money first. Their meals seem pretty expensive.