Amory's POV
I don't think there was I time in my life that I dated or had a normal relationship, I basically just had fun with guys and ended it when I got bored or they get clingy, so I never really experienced any form of heartbreak from any boy, my Mom made sure she was solely the reason for all the heartache I received in the past, present or future, It's her full time job, I don't even think I want to take it away from her, hers is a familiar pain nothing to be so anxious of, it doesn't hurt less, but at least I know the pattern and how to handle it to make it end faster.
That is why I'm completely lost and devastated on how to handle an unfamiliar pain that has stuck with me and has refused to leave since I left the hospital and the moment Kale turned his back to me.
Maybe this unfamiliar pain is caused by me or I can go ahead and blame it on Velda, after all she's the bane of my existence, the objects of my wraths, it's so easy to blame her, even when I know my fucked up mind is enough to cause me any pain imaginable.
Either way it's a pain that started creeping in, chipping in me till it exploded, from the moment I woke up to an empty bed in the hospital and a missing Kale, that is when it started.
FLASHBACK
I woke up, this time quieter than before, the headache has reduced too, I sat up and looked around, hoping to find kale around the room somewhere but I couldn't see him, maybe he was in the bathroom, so I called out
" Kale! Kale are you there"
But no one answered
" It's not like I was crippled or sick that I can't get out of bed, I just wanted some sort of confirmation that he was in the room, just out of my line of sight, so I called again but I got no answer, the room was quiet way too quiet.
Maybe he went to get something for me, it's very normal for him to have stepped out to buy something.
Really ?? You think so, you think he's coming back...
Okay, the voice was my cue to stop looking around and take up my phone. I'm not about to entertain it, not at this moment, not anytime soon, I just have to wait. He promised to be here when I woke up.
************************""
It's been three hours since I woke up and nobody has come by, I was currently at the bathroom staring at myself in the mirror, and I chuckled wryly at my reflection and how pathetic I looked waiting for a guy that will never come, and then I was laughing so hard, my head was starting to hurt.
What the hell are you turning to, and most especially what the hell are you still doing in this accursed room of a hospital, are you really waiting for Kale to come by?? And do what ?? Carry me home like a knight in shining armor.
And that was when it dawned on me, I was waiting for Kale. I expected something from him. I have become emotionally involved with someone I'm supposed to be playing with. What the hell Amory??
Someone's having a reality check, no matter how disappointed I am that you allowed this to linger on, I'm happy you're finally coming to your senses, what do you think happens when emotions become involved, bad things start to happen, I mean it's just a matter of time before he leaves anyway...oh wait he has left
" Shut up!! " I screamed to silence the all too familiar voice and cackle in my head, in as much as what she's saying is right, doesn't mean I want to indulge her today, so I quickly look around me, remove the IV attached to my arm.
Unwrap the exaggerated head bandage around my head, it was just a small injury, and I let down my hair and went into the room, packed my shit and I left the hospital as soon as I could.
I took a cab and I got to our main house. I just wanted to get to my room, take a shower and change into new clothes but since when did I ever get what I want.
I mean Velda's still alive.
" You're back"
My mom sat at the dinning in the living room, with a glass of champagne, she turned to me and dropped the glass as she saw me, I watched her approach me and for a split second thought of breaking that glass cup and shoving it's debris down her throat to make sure no sounds come out of it any longer.
"Amory as much as I don't have the energy to talk right now, I'm going to need to address some things with you in case of next time "
I didn't say anything, just stared at her
" When given instructions on a mission, follow it strictly and get out, don't do something unless I expressly say it, I don't need more casualties than I already have on my table, and I'm sure you don't have time to be lying around in the hospital either"
I was getting angry... Real fast.
" I don't understand, how many times I have to say this, it not that hard
Amory I'm sorry..."
I walked out on her, I'm now livid and I'm sure she's not coming out of this one if j decide to act on the anger, so I climbed upstairs, even as I hear her calling my name, making me fume the more and as I got to the first floor, I looked around and my eyes caught the large glass vase on the corner of the stairs... I'm not going to my room with this anger.
"Amory stop right there, I'm talking to you"
I stopped at looked down from where I was standing watching as she raises her finger at me saying all sorts of things and before I could convince myself not to do what I'm thinking, my hands have already lifted the big ass vase made of glass before dropping it from where I was standing and watched it shatter at the ground floor
" Fuck you Velda! " I screamed at her, and I relished at her scream as she narrowly avoided the vase being shattered on her head
That definitely made me feel better as I walked into my room and banged the door.
END OF FLASHBACK.
That was the first phase, and like I said I'm not really moved by familiar pain, so I got up, dusted myself, made my hair, lashes and nails, I had to bring out my glow once more, never should it be heard that I look vulnerable amongst my subjects after all I am their queen and ought to act like it.
But then Kale had to show up and just like he has always done, always tearing at my facade, always prodding at my mask, waiting for when it would fall off.
And it took everything in me to keep it on and say everything I said, but he just had to squat in front of me and look directly in my eyes, I could barely hear his voice as he spoke as if it was just for my ears, how can a voice be so soft and yet rough around the edges.
My mind was fretting, he looked as if he was pleading with me even as he said tried for the last time
"Friends , can't we be friends"
That was the first time I saw kale in such a vulnerable position but that was also the last time.
I haven't spoken to Kale in three days and could be the only plausible reason for this unfamiliar pain.
He dutifully did everything I said that day, he turned his back and left and that was the end, I never expected it, I mean they always come back to plead and tell me how much they love me and can't stay away from me, but then again, Kale already made it clear he wasn't in love with me.
It was as if things had gone back to the way they were, his cold face was back as he walked around the school with his friend Elijah, like nothing ever happened between us, maybe nothing actually happened, it was all just me and my mind.
I could remember vividly the way he passed me in the cafeteria yesterday without even a passing glance or acknowledgement, I couldn't even blame him, I made it clear I didn't want him even as a friend, it's as if in Kale's world Amory does not exist anymore.
The thought only increased the compression I feel in my chest as it gets tighter and tighter.
Can I take him to Amory??
Elpha's voice always comes back to hunt me as I can't think of the possible reaction I will give if I find that seductress hands on Kale for any reason or Kale responding to it.
I know what I will do, I will cut it off.
I have never seen kale with any girl, and I don't know if I should be relieved or not.
I stand in my usual spot under a cherry tree and wait. I wait for Kale to come into the school. He's always here at 6:15 in the morning.
And I don't want to say he's the reason I have been coming earlier than that time just to watch him walk into the school in all his Majesty.
And then stare him down hoping that for some reason he is going to turn and look at me, which never happened, even if it's just once, I think just an acknowledgement will do this time.
I watched in awe as he crossed the gate and entered the school premises, one of his hands in his pocket as he walked in precise and calculated steps. At this point I already believe everything he does is programmed and I don't know why I find it hot every single time, making me bite my lips.
And to think that there was a time this guy's full attention was on me and those veiny arms wrapped around me just had me clenching my fingers.
My breath got caught in my throat when he suddenly stopped and turned to look at me, his eyes were boring into mine and I forgot to breathe.
I literally froze.
I never knew the extent or understood how much I craved Kale's attention until his eyes were on me again after Three days. He was looking at me like I was the only one he could see and my hands were clenched in my skirt bunching it up.
I might be mistaken but I think I saw him take a step in my direction, but his actions were cut short when a certain girl came up to him, screaming his name and he turned his attention to the girl. The girl was blonde and pretty, that was clear enough at least to me.
I watched her hands circle around his arms and look up to him smiling showing all of her teeths, who the hell smiles like that…
And I saw something I thought I will never see in my life, Kale smiled back, not even a forced smile, it was full genuine smile from his face, and I watched his hands move to tuck her wild hair behind her ear, before leaning down to whisper in her ear making her giggle and turned to leave, kale not even sparing me a glance again.
The feeling I had earlier has now turned to anger and frustration, who the hell is that girl and since when does kale have a girl in his life, one that makes him smile like that too.
That wasn't any of my business anyway, I was the one who cut him off, I scoffed feeling more pathetic for myself and my predicament, I grabbed my bag and made my way out of the school, there is definitely no way I'm staying in school today to watch kale smile and touch another girl in front of me, so I left feeling even worse than before.