Christoph leaned against the closet door, facing Jeong Taeui, silently watching Ilay without
saying a word.
"I won't see you tonight."
"I just woke up from a rest."
"Hmm. ... But why does it smell so familiar?" - Ilay raised an eyebrow as he spoke. Jeong
Taeui widened his eyes and looked at him. He really had the nose of a dog.
"Do you know too?" - Christoph asked curiously. Ilay looked at him questioningly. It seemed
he didn't understand what Christoph was talking about.
"The medicine he just applied. I got it from Jeong Changin, but it seems you are very familiar
with this medicine. This is the first time I've encountered such a strange-smelling medicine.
... But does it really work? I'd rather have bruises...."
Christoph mumbled vaguely and then closed his mouth. He got lost in thought for a moment,
then glanced at Jeong Taeui's stomach, covered by his shirt.
Ilay turned to look at him.
"Medicine? You applied medicine? What kind?"
"... A bruise ointment." - Jeong Taeui mumbled and pointed his thumb at his side. Ilay's
eyes widened slightly for a moment, then he was silent.
At the same time, Christoph seemed to remember something and spoke before leaving the
room. - "I'll be out for a while."
Jeong Taeui was puzzled, staring at the back of the young man who left suddenly without
looking back once.
"It must be because you came that he left so suddenly...."
"Why would he leave because I came?"
"If not, there would be no reason for him to go out at this time. The timing is coincidental. A
crow flies, a ship sinks*.... In other words, it's your fault."
(*까마귀는 날고 배는 떨어지고 /A crow flies, a ship sinks: doing something simultaneously
with another bad event happening => being unjustly suspected. For example, a person
working overtime until 10 PM passes through an empty park, and at the same time, a person
goes missing nearby => unjustly suspected while they didn't do anything.)
"...Do you understand what you're saying?""It's not your fault, but it's also your fault."
Jeong Taeui stated boldly and raised his head to look at him. Ilay squinted at Jeong Taeui as if
he had just heard something absurd, but in the end, he laughed.
"But hey, is it okay for you to come to someone else's room at midnight like this? Not just
anyone, but in Christoph's room no less."
"Do you know how many years I've worked in the same mobile unit with that kid?"
Jeong Taeui nodded while watching Ilay laugh sarcastically. Perhaps Christoph didn't say
anything about Ilay's sudden appearance in his room because it happened too often. ... It
was just that Jeong Taeui felt uncomfortable for some reason.
Jeong Taeui unconsciously rubbed his side and clicked his tongue; perhaps it had already
become a habit.
Ilay bent down to look at Jeong Taeui and nodded his chin.
"Huh?" When he looked at him, Ilay just stared at his shirt and nodded his chin again.
Jeong Taeui looked at him for a moment, then obediently lifted the hem of his shirt.
"Today, this side of my hip is really popular…."
Jeong Taeui sighed as he spoke. Ilay silently looked at the exposed skin in front of Jeong
Taeui. His cold eyes showed no signs of emotion.
"...."
Jeong Taeui stared at him while Ilay looked around his stomach.
'It seemed unlikely, but could he be feeling guilty?'
Jeong Taeui scratched his head.
If Ilay apologized, he deserved that apology, but he didn't feel angry or upset. Although he
could fully act angry and say, 'Even if it wasn't intentional, you still shot me, and you don't
intend to apologize properly?!' – But Ilay was that kind of person, so he decided to think
simply that Ilay didn't mean it; it was just an accident.
Jeong Taeui recalled hearing a lecture on human relationships that criticizing an accidental
mishap was a typical wrong method.
But he decided not to let it slide easily.
Jeong Taeui tilted his head to the side and looked at Ilay with gentle eyes. He smiled and
spoke.
"Since coming to this house, I've been hit by you many times."At that moment, Ilay, who had been silently looking at Jeong Taeui's bare upper body, raised
his eyebrows.
Seeing this, Jeong Taeui couldn't tell if Ilay felt guilty or proud of his achievements.
They made eye contact.
When Jeong Taeui gave a professional smile, Ilay seemed to frown slightly, then burst into
laughter. But that smile soon disappeared.
"So, I've told you to go back to Berlin. Why do you insist on causing trouble?"
"No, but the book...."
"The book? So, if I get that book back for you, will you go back to Berlin?"
Ilay slowly approached and sat next to Jeong Taeui. He sat so close that only a hand's width
of space remained.
He smiled mischievously, and although his tone sounded like he was joking, it seemed he
wasn't joking at all.
Jeong Taeui stared at Ilay and scratched his stomach, accidentally touching the bruise. He
couldn't help but let out a soft "Aw" before calming down and lowering his shirt. Seeing that,
Ilay clicked his tongue in annoyance.
"Well… If that's the case, then I have no reason to stay here anymore." - Jeong Taeui
responded, then after a moment of silence, asked.
"But why do you keep wanting to send me away? It seems like since a few days ago, you've
been wanting to send me back...Are you really living a double life?" (Meaning he's
living in two places and dating two people ���)
The last words were almost muttered to himself.
But quickly, he shook his head.
How could someone like him live a double life? Someone like him, if he truly found
someone he liked, would openly bring that person to his home.
"A double life?"
Ilay asked in a low voice. As if it was the first time he'd heard the term.
Next to him, Jeong Taeui, though looking at him, was still lost in his own dreams.
"If that's the case, I could return to Korea after a long time. I don't necessarily have to stay in
Germany anymore, just at my home....…"
Jeong Taeui was mumbling to himself when he suddenly remembered."Oh...I'm a wanted criminal."
The reason Jeong Taeui stayed in Berlin was largely because of this man, but partly also
because of Kyle's protection. It was thanks to Kyle that he could comfortably live a retired
life as a wanted criminal now.
Ilay gave Jeong Taeui a very dumbfounded look as he was planning ahead for an uncertain
future and muttering to himself.
"If that happens, what will I do? I'll have to rely on my brother or uncle."
However, Jeong Taeui didn't notice the cold look in Ilay's eyes. Hearing his last words, Ilay's
eyes momentarily became icy.
"Stop saying such nonsense. That will never happen."
"Oh really?"
Just with those words, Jeong Taeui immediately erased all his plans for an uncertain future.
Something else might happen, and the future could become unstable. However, Ilay's words
were seldom kind, but they were never empty.
"If possible, return to Berlin before the succession day."
Ilay returned to the previous topic.
Jeong Taeui just looked at him silently.
He was waiting for Ilay to explain the connection between the succession day and his return
to Berlin.
Ilay stretched his arm back and comfortably sat on the bed behind the stool where Taeui was
sitting. He spoke indifferently.
"When Christoph's mother comes, he will become even more unstable."
Jeong Taeui was stunned, then frowned; it didn't seem to fit the context of the current
conversation.
"How could he become more unstable?"
Jeong Taeui pointed to the door where Christoph had just left.
Christoph was already very unstable. Though he often showed normal sides in front of Jeong
Taeui, from his perspective, Christoph had reached such an unstable level that if he became
more unstable, he would have no choice but to be hospitalized.
Ilay leaned back comfortably, looking at where Jeong Taeui's eyes were directed, then at the
swaying lamp on the ceiling."Have you ever killed butterflies?"
"What?"
"Butterflies. Or, well, dragonflies."
Jeong Taeui looked at Ilay, precisely at his profile.
He truly couldn't understand what Ilay meant with that slightly lethargic tone.
"... huh?"
Jeong Taeui replied with a frown.
Perhaps because there was a pond and a large field near his house when he was young,
dragonflies often flew around.
When summer came, dragonflies appeared, and in the fall, their bodies quickly turned bright
red, covering the nearby fields.
Jeong Taeui carried a sleeping bag and played around with his neighborhood friends. One of
his friends collected dragonflies like butterfly specimens after playing and, by the time they
were sober again, his friend's net was full of dragonflies. Many of them would die before he
brought them home.
When Jeong Taeui saw those dead dragonflies, he always felt terrible and never caught
dragonflies or butterflies again.
"When I was young, I often caught butterflies, tore off their wings, and played with the
legless butterflies."
Jeong Taeui frowned at Ilay's words.
Ilay looked at Jeong Taeui with a vague smile in his eyes when he heard his response.
"No, I didn't play like that."
"When young, children often played by killing butterflies, dragonflies, earthworms, or insects
for no reason."
"Um...Sometimes there were kids like that."
Perhaps no one has ever not killed one or two small creatures when they were young. At least
an ant. Children are both innocent and cruel at the same time.
Sometimes he was startled when reading fairy tales from his childhood. Were the contents
always so cruel and horrible?
Clearly, it was still the same book with the same content as when he was young, not missing
a single word.The story that he used to read joyfully without hesitation now startled him.
In reality, Jeong Taeui sometimes thought that cruelty was a natural human trait, like
empathy, and what people learned as they grew up was just how to cover that trait.
"Children, in pure terms, are more cruel than adults. For fun. They laugh joyfully while
stepping on ants and killing them."
When Jeong Taeui mumbled, Ilay nodded in agreement.
"Alright, so, do other kids fear those who kill ants?"
Jeong Taeui looked at Ilay curiously. Ilay still wore that vague smile.
"So what about this? If a child kills a squirrel, a rabbit, or a dog with the same thought as
killing an ant?"
"… ―."
"Christoph's mother both feared and found him disgusting."
Jeong Taeui remained silent. The story from Ilay's mouth, as if he were talking about an
everyday story, made his heart cold.
"'Killing a rabbit is no different from killing an ant!' - That's what he shouted when his
mother asked."
"What a meaningful question. So did you both kill them together?"
Jeong Taeui spoke softly; Ilay laughed.
"No such thing. When I was young, I never killed ants or butterflies without reason."
'I thought I heard you swung an axe at a friend – not sure if he counts as a friend – when you
were young?'
Jeong Taeui looked wide-eyed at Ilay, seeing him speak without a hint of guilt.
**********************
wife, overthinking, believes the husband has a mistress here and that's why he wants her to
leave early � � � >
