The silence in the penthouse didn't just break; it detonated.
I looked at Silas, the mountain of a man who had left me to rot because he wanted "peace." Then I looked at Julian, the shark who had drugged me and then bought me a diner to apologize for the mess he'd made of my soul.
Something inside me snapped. It was a clean, sharp sound, like a bone breaking in the dark.
"Don't you dare," I whispered, the sound vibrating with a jagged, manic energy. "Don't you fucking dare reach for me, Silas."
Silas flinched, his hand freezing in mid-air. "Alina, I came to save—"
"Save me?" I barked a laugh, a high, terrifying sound that echoed off the cold marble walls. I stepped forward, the silk robe fluttering around my legs. "Where were you when I was pounding on your door until my knuckles bled? Where were you when that blonde bitch was wearing your shirt and telling me you were 'occupied'?"
"I was a fool," Silas groaned, his voice breaking. "I was a coward, Alina."
"You were a goddamn quitter!" I screamed, the words ripping out of my throat. "You saw a little blood and you ran. You saw Julian's kiss on my mouth and instead of fighting for me, you went and found a 'gentle' distraction. You left me alone with him! Do you have any idea what he did?"
I turned my gaze to Julian, who was still standing there with that punchable, composed look on his face. The "shark" mask didn't slip, but I could see his pulse jumping in his neck.
"He drugged me, Silas!" I pointed a shaking finger at Julian. "He put something in my wine right there at that bar. He waited for me to lose my mind, and then he took me to that bed and he broke me. And you know what the best part is? The real 'vicious' part?"
I stepped into Julian's personal space, my face inches from his. "He bought me. He gave me Martha's lease and a gold key and thought that made us 'even.' He thought that if he worshipped the 'nightmare,' I'd forget that he's a fucking rapist with a God complex!"
Julian's face went pale, the clinical composure finally cracking. "Alina, I told you—"
"Shut up, Julian! Just shut your mouth!" I shoved him, my hands hitting his expensive suit. "You're a freak! You're a sick, twisted, obsessed little boy who plays with people like they're Lego sets! You think because you have a view of the city, you're above the law? You're a predator. You're a monster who thinks he's a prince."
I turned back to Silas, who looked like he was about to vomit. "And you! You're the 'gentleman' who let the monster in! You're both the same. You both wanted to own me. You both wanted to fix me or break me or put me in a box. Neither of you ever actually looked at me!"
The room was spinning. My heart was a frantic, violent rhythm against my ribs. In that moment, I realized the most terrifying thing of all, the thing that made me want to claw my own skin off.
I had fallen for both of them.
I loved the way Silas made me feel human, safe. And I loved the way Julian made me feel like a goddess. I loved the safety of the ridge and the madness of the glass. I was in love with a mountain and a shark, and it made me feel like I was rotting from the inside out.
But I wouldn't tell them. I'd die before I gave them that victory.
"I hate you," I whispered, looking between the two of them. "I hate you both so much it's the only thing keeping me alive right now."
I didn't wait for a response. I didn't wait for Silas to apologize again or for Julian to try and "explain." I turned and ran for the door. I didn't grab my jacket. I didn't grab the gold keys. I didn't grab a single thing that Julian Vane had bought.
"Alina!" Silas's voice roared behind me.
I ignored him. I hit the elevator button, the doors sliding open like a jaw. I stepped inside and watched the two most powerful men in my life stand there in the center of that expensive, empty room, looking like two children who had just broken their favorite toy.
The doors closed.
As the elevator descended, I slid to the floor and finally, truly, began to scream. Not for Silas. Not for Julian. But for the girl I used to be, the one who didn't know that the only thing worse than being alone was being loved by monsters.
I hit the lobby, pushed past the stunned security guards, and ran straight out into the freezing, blinding white of the storm. I didn't know where I was going. I just knew that I couldn't be a "nightmare" or a "queen" anymore.
I just wanted to be gone.