"For the crime of bedding the princess, execution is swift. Now, have you any words, filthy vagrant?"
The man stood before the accuser, face expressionless, showing utter disrespect to the noble men and women. However, opposed to his stoic face, something was battling inside his head.
Ah! What the hell!? I was doing my daily 'I'm a fat fucking chud' ritual of pizza and gaming, then I'm here… did I die!?
"Have you any words or not, you filth!"
I guess that lifestyle gave me a heart attack, huh? Damn, I should've listened to my brother. Winning the lottery means nothing if I can't even use it.
"Speak now! Or would you rather keep up this facade when you're obviously scared!"
Granted, I was about two years into my wealth. Time really does fly, doesn't it?
"I've had it. This room will need to be cleaned later. Now, I shall have your head!"
Not to mention my girlfriend left me because of my lifestyle. Damn, I really had nothing going on… what a shame.
As the accuser lunged at him, the tip of his blade sliced at his cheek, narrowly missing. It wasn't because of a misstep, nor was it because he changed his mind. The accuser halted his attack simply because the princess herself walked in.
"Halt this at once! I willfully brought him into my chambers for the night! It's all on me!"
What the hell?! I don't know this chick!
"Additionally, he is to be my partner in hand!"
"But, Your Highness, this cannot be! He is but a low-born commoner. He has no royal blood in him. For him to be your spouse, that's an outrage!"
I absolutely agree!
All was fierce, till one of the nobles—the princess's fiancé—spoke up.
"Princess, how can it be?! For am I not thee, the one fated to marry you? And not this filthy mongrel?!"
Exactly! I just want to go home!
"My betrothal to you means nothing to me, as it only complicates me. This man here, though of nothing, is worthy of my hand."
I'll have to say something at this point… goddammit!
"Uh, may I say something—"
"Silence, you! Your filthy tongue has no use here. It's bad enough you already defiled the princess with it. It need not do more."
Are you kidding me?! I was just trying to say that I'm not from here!
"Everyone hush! This man is the one and only whom I personally picked for myself. His origin is of no matter here. When in my presence, he bears my title! Even without me, he shall share my title! When I inherit the throne, he shall be my king, and I, his queen!"
As the princess decreed, all fell silent. However, one noble from the back was up to something, sending out his magic toward the one standing trial. What the noble didn't expect was that he felt it—and turned to him.
My neck is really itchy, and that guy over there… why is he staring at me so hard? Could it be…?
He started to think of something.
Could he actually…? No…? Has my handsome face captivated them here too…?
Thinking back to before he was as ugly as he was now, he had a decent face. His thoughts continued to flow as he imagined himself on a horse, being carried by him.
Noooo! It cannot be! I am a man, and so are you! If only we lived in a different era!
As he was lost in his thoughts, the princess further declared that the trial was over. Before he knew it, he was in her chambers once more, chained like a dog to her wrist. The metal ground against his neck whenever she moved, making her wince.
"So, who are you?"
The princess spoke in an ice-cold voice.
What…?
"What do you mean?"
"You're not the same man I snuck into my chamber last night. Who are you?"
Wait… I think—no, maybe, probably… I get it! I possessed someone's body!
"Princess, fear not, for I am the one and only—the lord of the skies, god himself—"
He tried to speak before the princess yanked on the chain, silencing him.
Ow, damn bitch of a princess!
"You damn bitch!"
Hearing the insult, her face lightened. Then she spoke once more, but in a more dignified tone.
"There he is. That vulgar voice. Keep it like that for me from now on."
"Yes, ma'am!"
He replied before he realized.
You see, he has a fatal flaw.
He has a strong attraction to dominant women.