Nirvana
A rock whistled past Nirvana's shoulder and splashed into the water.
"Why's the water so yellow?" Cai's voice cut the quiet. He tossed another rock into the sea, watching it hiss and vanish.
Today at the academy was different. The graduating class had been kept back for extra lessons, the rite of passage drawing closer with every passing day. It was the season every youth lives for. At last, the freedom they had craved for so long was within reach. No more drills. No more evaluations. No more teachers hovering over them. No more curfews. And best of all, they could earn their own money. Heck, they could visit places like the Shack.
The day was nearly over when they made their way to their usual spot by the sea. It had been too long since they'd been there together, and she'd missed it more than she realized. Their schedules never seemed to align anymore, and when they did, the sea was often closed. Today, though, only Cai had come. Boreas and Edur were nowhere in sight.
Her steps slowed as the realization settled in. They were alone. Truly alone, for the first time.
She and Cai were close—always had been—but not in the effortless way he was with Boreas. Edur, the last to join them, had been Cai's friend first. Cai had brought him into the group. And because Boreas was her cousin, she had simply… followed. Slipped into place beside them. Being the only girl had never bothered her. Most days, she forgot it entirely. They never treated her differently. Never made her feel out of place. With them, she wasn't the girl.
She was just one of them.
They managed to sneak past the guards, using the narrow paths while the sea was closed for the evening. The shadows helped hide them.
When they reached the shore, everything felt quiet. Too quiet. The water stretched grey, still streaked in places from the hunt. The wind carried salt and the faint, cold scent of iron.
She thought about saying something. Maybe a joke. Maybe a question. Boreas was always good at that, starting conversations, making things feel easy. She wasn't. She didn't know how to begin. The words wouldn't come, and the silence stretched between them. They stood there side by side, saying nothing, the awkwardness hanging in the air.
So when Cai spoke it eased her nervousness. She wished he asked a different question. Maybe something about herself. The things she liked. Her hopes, dreams, fears. But it seemed like he was only focused on getting into the water.
"The Hornik was here yesterday," Nirvana began to explain. "It releases a yellow acidic substance that crystallizes. It takes less than forty eight hours for it to melt. No one comes around the sea during this period. But we're here now, so we might as well just wait. It's dissolved so it just needs to disappear with the water."
Easy answer. He wouldn't suspect how she knew much about hunting because they already taught them about sea creatures back at the academy.
Now, what can I ask him?
What's on his mind? That's too personal.
What are you looking forward to in life? No, too serious.
What is the most useless invention of all time? Yes! That's it.
She didn't notice when he slipped quietly away from her. Thoughts kept running through her mind, as she felt more picky about asking the right question.
Cai lunged towards the waters before she could react.
Nirvana knew she couldn't catch up to him on time. And in less than two seconds his bones would be exposed.
Think! Think!
The air suddenly cracked. Before him a wall of ice emerged, stopping him cold. He slammed into it and fell hard, the breath punched from his lungs.
As his eyes fluttered open, he saw a figure towering above him, her silhouette wreathed in pale blue light. Frost crawled over her hands and drifted into the air in glittering shards. The scent of ozone and brine burned his nose, and the cold pressed against his skin like knives.
"What were you thinking?" Nirvana asked, extending her arm. Her grip was strong and warm despite the frost still clinging to her fingers.
"I don't know." Cai spat snow and shook the ice from his hair. "It looked safe."
"This seems safe to you?" Nirvana stared at him, her eyes sharp. He was acting jittery and strange. "What's wrong with you today?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"What do you want to do about the water?" he snapped back, his voice harsh. As he spoke, he hugged his arm tightly against his chest, clutching his sleeve in a tight fist. It was a sudden, anxious move, nothing like his usual clumsy slouch.
"Fine," she said, dropping it. Her heart sank. There's no way she could ask her questions.
She turned back toward the sea and knelt by the water. It wasn't as simple as just avoiding the yellow parts. Almost all of it was yellow. But some patches bubbled violently, while others lay still.
"Here's what we must do. We have to watch the bubbles. Where the sea breathes, it's clean, acid chokes everything. Then she paused. "Or we can wait for the acid to dissolve." She knew he wouldn't like the second option.
"How long will that take?"
Nirvana didn't answer.
Cai frowned, picked up another stone, and tossed it toward the bubbling patch she'd pointed at. It sank without a hiss. He glanced at her, half-impressed, half-annoyed.
"Not bad, Nira. Not bad."
She laughed. "Oh, Cai!" Nirvana pulled him into a hug. "What would I do if I had lost you?"
"Can't—breathe," Cai wheezed. "My ribs, Nira…my ribs…"
"Stop resisting," she said, tightening her hold. "We haven't hung out in a while."
"You saw me yesterday. You see me everyday of the week. And we talked. We talked for three HOURS."
"Are you eating well these days?"
"Nirvana, what's with all these questions?"
"You know why I'm asking." Her voice dropped. She brushed a thumb over his shoulder, where the fabric dipped. "You're thinner. And this—" she touched near his collarbone—"Are you causing any trouble at home?"
Cai turned away. "It's nothing."
"Cai." Her voice sharpened. "Be still. I'm not done examining you."
He shook his head. She reached for him again, and this time he tried to push her off, but she was stronger. They stumbled against the rocks, slipping in the snow.
"Stop it!" he raged. "You're an obsessive, controlling bitch. Don't come near me."
She froze. Where had that come from? All she was trying to do was help. Was it her fault that she cared too much?
"I'm sorry," she whispered, tears slipping before she could stop them. "It's just…you don't tell me anything…it's Boreas this…Boreas that… I don't want anything bad to happen to you…you don't have to endure this anymore…Cai…you're all I have."
Cai stared at her, stunned. "Nirvana, you have a family who loves you. You have team mates who admire you. Friends who would do anything for you. What do you mean I'm all you have?"
Her shoulders shook as tears streamed freely now. "You've been acting strange lately. I want to help. I want to carry your burdens. Please, confide in me. Boreas isn't the only friend you have. I know I'm a girl and I might not understand what guys like you go through but I used to have an older brother once...
He didn't wait for her to finish rambling.
Cai sighed, stepped forward, and pulled her into a gentler hug this time, one that didn't hurt. He stroked her hair, his voice low and unsteady. "You're all I have too, Nira. I wouldn't trade what we have for anything else. But you've got to stop worrying about me."
She buried her face into his neck, ashamed of her eyes meeting his. Mucus was everywhere, all over her face, his clothes, but Cai didn't seem to mind. Instead he kissed her hair, and wiped her tears with his fragile thumb. She then heard him chuckle.
"What?"
"You're such an ugly crier."
The air between them grew still for a moment, save for the low hiss of the sea. Cai opened his mouth, then shut it again, unsure what to say. Nirvana pulled away, pretending to watch the horizon, the muscles in her jaw tightening as she bit back the rest of what she wanted to say.
And then—
"Glad to see everyone's in a thoughtful mood!"
They both jumped. Cai let out a startled yelp, half scream, half curse, and nearly lost his footing on the slick ice.
Boreas doubled over laughing, clutching his stomach. "You two forget I was here, or were you too busy staring into each other's souls?"
"Forget? Boreas, when did you get here? I hate it when you do that." She said, quickly wiping off the tears from her face.
Cai glared. "You nearly gave me a heart attack, you mammoth-brained idiot!"
Nirvana's hand smacked the back of her cousin's head before he could duck. Boreas stumbled, still laughing.
"Can't believe you guys waited for us." another voice said.
"EDUR!" Cai and Nirvana shouted in unison.
"Sorry, guys, I'm late again," Edur said, brushing snow from his sleeves with a grin that was far too pleased with itself. "But I promise this time it wasn't my fault. The temple's been in chaos."
"So I'm guessing you sneaked out." Nirvana folded her arms, a frown appeared on her face. "Isn't the High Warden going to notice?"
"I have my ways. That's all I can say for now. Anyway, how long have you been waiting?"
"Not too long. We're trying to decide if we should wait for the acid to completely dissolve or …what are you doing?" Nirvana's cheeks turned red immediately she saw it. "You're changing here?"
Edur peeled off his temple robe in one smooth motion, the fabric catching the light before falling to the snow. Nirvana had seen him like this before training, swimming, working but something about it felt different now. The lines of his shoulders looked sharper, the muscles in his arms leaner, his skin pale against the cold air.
She caught herself staring, heart thudding in a way that had nothing to do with the chill. What's wrong with me?
Boreas's laughter jolted her back to reality. "This is the best day of my life!"
Cai groaned, covering his eyes. "I refuse to have my innocence taken away."
Nirvana scooped up a handful of snow and threw it at Edur, trying to hide the flush in her cheeks. "Dont go completely naked, you'd freeze to death, you idiot!" Boreas and Cai quickly joined in, pelting Edur from every direction until he gave up.
The laughter faded. They looked at the sea and saw the yellow acid was gone, the water clear and blue again.
One by one, they stripped down to their undershirts, everyone except Nirvana.
Nirvana's laugh rang bright against the frozen cliffs. She glanced out at the water. "Last time we made it past the black rock. This time…" She pointed farther. "That ridge. The first one there wins."
Cai groaned. "Must we make everything a competition?"
He was the least athletic among them. Nirvana and Boreas had one true contest: combat. Nirvana was the best. Boreas was second. In academics, Nirvana naturally excelled. Boreas, however, struggled in every class. Cai was consistently second in their studies. But in the two things that mattered here—fighting and ice magic—he had no standing at all.
"Yes," Nirvana and Boreas shouted at the same time.
Nirvana danced across the water, leaving brief patches of ice. Boreas charged, shattering the surface with each step. Edur moved with measured precision. Cai scrambled behind them, his ice fracturing under him, plunging him repeatedly into the cold water.
They laughed, shouted, and spluttered.
When they reached the ridge—a line of jagged rocks jutting from the center of the lake—they flopped onto it together, panting, clothes damp and clinging.
"I told you I'd win," Boreas wheezed, though Nirvana had clearly beaten him by a step.
"You're blind," Nirvana said, flicking water at him.
Cai coughed, lying flat on his back. "One of these days… you're all going to fish me out… when I sink to the bottom."
"You float like driftwood," Edur teased.
"Better driftwood than a stone," Cai shot back, though his smile was weak.
Boreas cut through the surface with a strong stroke, then leaned back, grinning like he'd conquered the sea itself. "I swear, next week can't come soon enough. Once the trial is over, you'll all be saluting. "Guard Boreas, son of Chief Rurik!" He puffed out his chest like his father, the Head of Glacial city's guards.
"Or…" Nirvana smirked, flicking ice shards toward him, "…you could end up crushing herbs."
"Or tinkering blocks of ice." Edur added.
"Or weaving mammoth wool." Cai was happy to be included. For once, he wasn't the butt of their jokes. Someone had taken the bait and it wasn't him.
Boreas sputtered and swung water at them. "Shut it. Everyone knows the guard's mark runs in my blood. My father was selected. His father before him. I'll be the next."
"Don't be so sure," Edur said, his voice quiet but steady. "The trial doesn't focus on bloodline. It only proves what you are, not what you pretend to be."
Cai groaned, sinking until just his nose poked above the surface. "That's what I'm afraid of. What if I end up with nothing? What if the whole city finds out the truth? Cause you know everyone will be watching. If the rite doesn't go well for me. I'll—" His mind wandered back to the days at the academy. Teachers talking in hushed tones when he passed by. Students sneering at him and calling him names. Times when he had to demonstrate in front of the class and ice refused to leave his fingers.
"Well, you're training right? If you work hard, there's no way you wouldn't succeed at it. You might not get the best roles but somehow you'll end up with something. It's rare for no one to pass the trial. I'm sure you'll do great."
Edur, being the oldest, was also the wisest of all three.
Nirvana thought it had to be because of the name he carried. He was a temple attendant, one of the Silvens, a family line that had served the priestess of Glacial city for generations. Anyone who spent that much time at the temple must have been drawing wisdom from the gods.
She hadn't interacted much with other Silvens, so it was just a theory.
To prove his point—or perhaps just to lighten the mood—Boreas held up a hand and focused. Ice spiraled from his palm, shaping itself into what was clearly meant to be a guard's spear. But the shaft curled like a sickled fern, and the tip drooped comically.
Nirvana burst out laughing. "Going to fight with a noodle?"
Boreas shrugged, the ice melting in his grip. "It's… flexible."
Their laughter echoed off the frozen cliffs, but Edur's voice pulled them back down. "Still… things will change. Once you're selected, it's no more swimming afternoons, no more 'let's see how far we can go.' You're not kids anymore, you belong to the village. A full-time duty."
That left the four of them quiet, drifting with the current. Even Boreas, who always filled silence, only kicked absently at the water.
But Nirvana, staring at the horizon, whispered, "Then we make this last swim count."