Although the diary entry was short, the implications were a nuclear bomb of information.
"This Odin," Tony started, swirling his drink nervously. "We're talking about the Odin? The All-Father? The guy with the ravens and the missing eye?"
"Unless there's another Odin running a deli in Queens," Fury muttered, rubbing his temples. "I'm assuming it's the Norse God."
Fury felt a headache coming on. A migrane the size of Yggdrasil.
He dealt with spies. He dealt with terrorists. He even dealt with the occasional glowing alien cat. But Gods? Actual, mythological deities?
"So," Tony paced the room, his engineering brain trying to process magic. "We have the God of Hammers. We have Mjolnir. We have Odin. We have Thor."
"Are we in a comic book or a history textbook?" Tony asked, exasperated. "Because my science degree is crying right now."
"Who else could it be?" Fury sighed. "Odin. Thor. Hammer. It's not a metaphor. It's a family reunion."
"If Odin didn't have a secret bastard son named 'MC Hammer'," Fury added dryly, "then yes, the Thunder God is coming to Earth."
Fury looked at his list of active threats. Vampires. Werewolves. Aliens. Inhumans. Super Soldiers. And now... Asgardians.
"I need a bigger budget," Fury groaned. "And more aspirin."
"Lucas said the hammer lands in New Mexico," Tony recalled. "This year. The same year I became Iron Man."
"What kind of genre mash-up is this?" Tony complained, throwing his hands up. "Sci-Fi tech heroes? Fantasy gods? Alien invasions? Do the writers even care about tonal consistency?"
"It's like they threw a bunch of action figures in a blender and hit 'Frappe'," Tony ranted. "What's next? A talking raccoon? A wizard in Greenwich Village?"
"Cyberpunk Asgard?" Tony snorted. "Is Thor going to show up with a laser hammer and neon armor? Because that would be... actually, that would be kind of cool."
"Focus, Stark," Fury snapped. "Cool or not, we have a diplomatic crisis. How do we negotiate with a God?"
"We don't have an embassy for Asgard," Fury pointed out. "We don't even have a phone number. And if history is any guide..."
"Diplomacy?" Tony scoffed. "Gods don't negotiate with ants. Remember what the Conquistadors did to the Aztecs? Now imagine the Conquistadors are immortal, bulletproof, and can summon lightning."
"They might look like us," Tony warned. "But they aren't us. To them, we're just... biology."
Fury's expression darkened. As a black man in America, the history of colonization and "superior beings" arriving on ships wasn't an abstract concept. It was generational trauma.
"And don't get me started on what they actually look like," Tony continued, spiraling into a scientific rant. "Biblically accurate angels are terrifying wheels of eyes and fire. Who says Norse gods are handsome blond men?"
"Maybe Thor is a tentacle monster with a hammer," Tony theorized. "Maybe Asgard is a dimension of pure chaos. It doesn't make scientific sense for aliens to look exactly like humans!"
"Enough!" Fury barked. "Stop traumatizing yourself, Stark. It's a story world. The writers made them hot. Deal with it."
"But what about the other pantheons?" Fury muttered to himself, ignoring Tony. "If Odin is real... what about Zeus? Ra? The Jade Emperor?"
He thought about the reports from SPEAR (The Chinese equivalent of SHIELD). Their agents had code names like "Monkey King."
"I always thought it was just a call sign," Fury realized with horror. "Like 'Black Widow'. But what if... what if they actually have Sun Wukong on payroll?"
"Does everyone have a God on speed dial except me?" Fury felt a sudden wave of professional jealousy.
"And don't forget the Big Guy," Tony pointed upward. "If Thor is real, is God-God real? The Capital G?"
"Stark," Fury warned, his voice low and dangerous. "Stop right there."
"If you keep blaspheming, lightning might actually strike you. And I'm standing right next to you."
"If you want to get smote by the Almighty," Fury stepped back, creating distance. "Do it outside. Don't get your heresy splattered on my nice leather coat."
Tony paused, looking at Fury's genuine concern.
"Fine," Tony relented. "No theological debates. Just... tactical ones."
"But seriously," Tony whispered. "A talking raccoon. I'm calling it now."
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