"You want us to do WHAT ?"
Bishop Anderson was pissed. Rightfully so. He sent a lot of time and effort into making a fake "new party" just to give the quest to them, and now the nobody, sarcastic, isolent, lowly priest "Bob" was asking to just throw all that away.
Baoba shrunk back and tried his best to explain. "Hear me out on this, alright ? I know it was a huge hassle - that could have been avoided if you went with my plan in the first place- but this is a foolproof, safe, 100% certain of success strategy, alright ?"
The bishop closed his eyes and clasped his hands together. "Help me, holy sun, burn away my wrathful desires, have mercy on my soul and please, please get this man out of my sight."
A single tear rolled on his cheek.
"Ok, first of all, chill out. How about this : if this doesn't work, you can fire me."
His prayer done, Anderson turned away, bowed once, and with a sigh, returned to his calm self. "I will hear you out, for this is a place to be open, not closed. Keeping in mind I already have all the power necessary to fire you, speak now."
Baoba audibly gulped. The rest of the plan hinged on this interaction, so there was actually quite a bit of pressure.
'He seems angry for some reason, so I better be polite about it too.'
He cleared his throat, and spoke in the most respectful tone he could muster, which was barely able to pass for neutral.
"Well, father, we know these adventurers will one day make an attempt to grab our most prized treasure. This is a big problem, because we cannot expose Noti openly to the greed of outsiders, nor do anything to them without proof. However, if they were, say, incapacitated, in their battle with an overwhelming enemy, no one would bat an eye. This would be the perfect scenario."
"Are you suggesting to let them fight and merely hope an ill fate befalls them ? We tried this thrice already, I'm sure you can figure out where that led us."
"No, father, hope will play no part in my plan. I have no doubt the group can handle another general, even a more powerful one. But what if a second, or even a third showed up ? No one would be surprised if even the mightiest of heroes fell to that."
The bishop frowned and tilted his head. "Of course. However, that scenario is even less likely than the previously mentioned simple defeat. What are you getting at ?"
Baoba couldn't help but smirk as he continued explaining. "In fact, facing such a scenario, even a task force dispatched by the church in reinforcement would be powerless. They would have to come back on their own, and they would be the only ones left to tell the tale... No one would be able to find out what truly happened, or who really fought whom."
Anderson's whole face clenched, utterly offended by the implication. "You dare !"
Not letting him spiral out of control, "Bob" talked frantically : "Just think about it : they are heretics, they dare act against the church, against His Holiness Himself ! They do not deserve His glory. It is given to those who need it, and refused to those who envy it. They are the ones playing this game, they have to be prepared for the consequences ! For the small price of one little expedition, you -we- can protect this entire city from their villany ! It is mercy, not vice."
The bishop relaxed, but still did not accept. "You are making sense, even if it pains me to admit it. However, this plan you barely dare to propose poses a risk to us, as we would engage in battle. Our current actions will eventually have the same effect, only with less blood from both camps. We do not need to rush."
Baoba sighed loudly. "Oh, how I wish it were so, father ! Unfortunately, things have changed. We no longer have enough time."
Anderson frowned as the crowed that had gathered tensed up. "Explain yourself."
The undercover elf continued to talk loudly, expressing himself with his whole body, alomst like he had rehearsed it beforehand.
"You are all aware that I have been keeping an eye on the heretics. Two days ago, they have contacted Dow and his crew, and got rejected. They seemed so aggravated that I made a desperate attempt. I went to great lengths and followed their trace through the entire town, but when I finally met with their elusive leader, we were unable to come to an agreement.
"They are bloodthirsty, father. I swear on my own faith, they will attack in under a month."
The while church, who had all basically gathered around the two, exploded with whispers and gasps.
"Is it true ? Are all heretics like this ?"
"Isn't this, like, really bad ?"
"Why did he wait all this time to tell us ?"
"...Who is this guy again ?"
'Hey !' That last one almost snapped him out of his performance. 'I heard that ! '
Bishop Anderson, meanwhile, kept silent, deep in thought. When he finally spoke, the hall instantly turned completely silent.
"...You should have led with this news."
'Yeah, but if I did, you might have come up with your own solution, so..'
"This is indeed quite dire. But I should have expected this. Godless men can only resort to violence in the end."
He thought for a little more, in peace this time.
Baoba had never been a nervous person. He always believed that whatever happened would happen, and none of it concerned him. But now, he was starting to feel jittery regardless.
"Hmmm..."
'Come on, you golden sack, get to it already !'
"Hmmmmmmm....."
It seemed this was the hardest decision if his life. Had Baoba ever thought that hard about anything ? Even when he went to live in the forest, he decided quicker than this.
"Hmmm.. Alright. We will execute Bob's plan."
The "Bob" in question displayed monumental willpower in order to not jump from joy when hearing this sentence.
"Everyone must prepare, we will need as many fighters as we have combat artefacts. The church itself will be less protected during this time, so whatever personnel will be left should double their vigilance. Summon the heretics for tomorrow, they will officially receive the last quest. Prepare in absolute secrecy, from now on, no one will mention anything about this operation to anyone under Helio, or they will answer to me. Do you understand ?"
Different answers basically boiling down to "Yes" emerged from the crowd as the numerous priests dispersed.
Baoba kept a solemn expression, but deep down, he could almost cry.
'This is going so well. It's the definition of perfection. Everything went exactly as I thought it would.'
Suddenly, a memory resurfaced.
"Remember... Harder than you think.."
...
He shook his head.
'Nope. That was for something else. The mother came to warn me about the Lord, not bishop Anderson.'
But he knew better than anyone this feeling would not go away so easily. He was a bit paranoid, after all.
Sighing internally, he calmed himself down.
'Well, better be too careful than not enough, right ?'
Getting to work on "preparations" to keep his cover, he promised himself to get a good night's sleep.
These next days were going to be pretty tiring.