One Week After Legal Nightmare Thread - r/TheEternalSoldier
u/SwissBankingAnon: Okay so I work in Swiss banking (can't say where) and I need to tell you about something INSANE
You know how we've been theorizing about The Eternal Soldier's legal setup? How he'd need property management, identity transitions, all that?
Well, he'd also need to store things. Like, physical things. Things you accumulate over 2,500 years.
So I did some digging in public records (nothing classified, I'm not getting fired). And I found something.
There's a vault.
[12.4k upvotes in 30 minutes]
u/DeepStateDigger: A VAULT
u/SwissBankingAnon: Not just A vault. THE vault. Let me explain.
LOCATION: Switzerland (obviously), specific location classifiedSIZE: 2,500 square meters (that's 26,900 square feet)THAT'S THE SIZE OF A SMALL WAREHOUSE
u/TinfoilTina: why does one person need a warehouse-sized vault
u/SwissBankingAnon: Because he's been alive for 2,500 years. Keep reading.
MINIMUM DEPOSIT REQUIREMENT: €50 millionANNUAL MAINTENANCE FEE: €2 millionINSURANCE VALUE: Listed as "incalculable"I'm not joking. The insurance paperwork literally says INCALCULABLE.
[89.3k upvotes, 15,492 comments in 2 hours]
u/DeepStateDigger: INCALCULABLE
u/InsuranceAgent_Real: I work in insurance. We don't use "incalculable" unless we literally cannot determine a value. Like, the contents are so rare/unique/priceless that no amount of money could replace them.
u/SwissBankingAnon: Exactly. Now let me tell you about the SECURITY.
SECURITY MEASURES (that I know of):
PHYSICAL:
12-meter reinforced concrete walls Triple titanium vault doors (each weighs 20 tons) Armed guards (24/7, rotating shifts, international private security) Biometric access (retinal, fingerprint, voice, DNA) Military-grade surveillance (360° coverage, infrared, motion sensors) Seismic sensors (detects tunneling from 500 meters away) EMP shielding (the entire vault is a Faraday cage)
u/MilitaryEngineer: That's more secure than most military installations
u/SwissBankingAnon: I'M NOT DONE
ENVIRONMENTAL:
Climate controlled (temperature ±0.1°C, humidity ±2%) Air filtration (hospital-grade, positive pressure) Vibration dampening (protects against earthquakes up to 9.0) Fire suppression (inert gas system, won't damage contents) Backup power (independent generators, solar, geothermal) Water damage prevention (waterproof seals, drainage systems)
u/ArchivistProfessional: That's archive-grade preservation. Museum quality. Better than most museums, actually.
u/SwissBankingAnon: STILL NOT DONE
LEGAL PROTECTIONS:
Swiss banking secrecy laws (strongest in the world) International diplomatic immunity (somehow?) UNESCO World Heritage protection (WHAT) Vatican Archives status (double WHAT) Interpol "do not investigate" order EU cultural preservation designation Multiple sovereign guarantees (UK, France, Italy, others)
[247.8k upvotes, 31,847 comments]
u/DeepStateDigger: UNESCO PROTECTION? THE VATICAN? FOR A PRIVATE VAULT?
u/InternationalLaw_Prof: I teach international law. This is UNPRECEDENTED. UNESCO protection is for sites like the Pyramids or Stonehenge. The Vatican Archives status is for religious artifacts. This vault has protections that shouldn't be possible for a private citizen.
u/SwissBankingAnon: And here's the kicker: It's been there for over 200 years.
ESTABLISHED: 1803CURRENT OWNER: Listed as "P. Jackson Trust"PREVIOUS OWNERS: All variations of P. Jackson (Percival, Preston, Paul, Peter, Perseus)SAME VAULT. SAME CONTENTS (presumably). 222 YEARS.
u/HistoryNerd_PhD: 1803. That's the same year the Louisiana Purchase happened. This vault is older than most European governments.
u/SwissBankingAnon: Want to know the best part? The COST.
ESTIMATED TOTAL SECURITY COSTS (ANNUAL):
Maintenance fee: €2 million Private security: €5-8 million Insurance: €10+ million (if it were calculable) Environmental systems: €1-2 million Legal protections: Unknown but probably millions TOTAL: €20-25 MILLION PER YEAR
To maintain ONE VAULT.
For 222 years.
That's approximately €4-5 BILLION in total costs.
[412.9k upvotes - TOP POST ALL-TIME on Reddit]
u/DeepStateDigger: WHAT IS IN THAT VAULT
u/Mathematician_Real: I did the math. If you invested €50 million in 1803 at 7% average return, you'd have €924 BILLION today. He can afford the vault.
u/TinfoilTina: ok but WHAT IS IN THERE
u/SwissBankingAnon: I don't know. The contents are classified beyond my clearance. But I found some things in public records:
KNOWN CONTENTS (from various legal filings over 222 years):
"Historical artifacts of significant cultural value" "Personal effects spanning multiple centuries" "Documents of historical importance" "Items requiring climate-controlled preservation" "Materials requiring religious protection" (hence Vatican involvement) "Culturally significant objects under UNESCO guidelines"
That's ALL the public records say. Everything else is sealed.
u/MuseumCurator: Those descriptions... that sounds like museum-quality artifacts. Multiple civilizations. Spanning thousands of years. What could one person possibly have that requires UNESCO, Vatican, AND military protection?
u/DeepStateDigger: Artifacts he ACQUIRED over 2,500 years
u/ArchivistProfessional: Oh my God. If he's been alive since ancient Greece, if he fought at Thermopylae, if he knew Caesar... what would he have KEPT?
u/HistoryBuff2000: Weapons from battles. Crowns from kingdoms. Documents from empires. Religious artifacts from temples. Art from civilizations that no longer exist.
u/SwissBankingAnon: There's one more thing. The vault access logs are sealed, but there's a public record of VISITORS.
DOCUMENTED VAULT VISITORS (past 50 years):
Multiple heads of state (names classified) Vatican officials (including one Pope) UNESCO representatives Museum directors (Louvre, British Museum, Smithsonian, others) "P. Jackson" (quarterly visits, like clockwork)
u/DeepStateDigger: THE POPE VISITED THE VAULT
u/CatholicScholar: Which Pope? When? Why would a Pope visit a private vault?
u/SwissBankingAnon: I don't know which Pope. Records just say "Vatican delegation, highest authority." But it was within the last 20 years.
u/DeepStateDigger: To see WHAT? What does The Eternal Soldier have that makes the POPE visit?
The Speculation Thread
u/ReligiousHistorian: The Vatican only gets involved with religious artifacts. The Shroud of Turin. Pieces of the True Cross. Relics of saints. What could he have?
u/BiblicalScholar: He was alive during the time of Christ. What if he has... things... from that era?
u/SkepticalSam: Are you suggesting he has actual biblical artifacts
u/BiblicalScholar: I'm suggesting that if someone lived for 2,500 years and traveled through the ancient world, they might have acquired things that the Vatican would very much like to verify
u/ArchaeologistPhD: The Hanging Gardens of Babylon. The Library of Alexandria. The Temple of Solomon. The Palace of Knossos. Ancient Rome. Medieval Europe. Renaissance Italy. If he was THERE, if he took ANYTHING...
u/MuseumCurator: Museum directors visited the vault. They wouldn't visit unless there was something they wanted. Something they DESPERATELY wanted. But he won't lend it to them.
u/LegalEagle_Esq: The legal protections make sense now. If the contents are truly that significant, he'd need every protection possible. Swiss banking secrecy prevents seizure. UNESCO prevents destruction. Vatican involvement prevents religious claims. Sovereign guarantees prevent government appropriation.
He's legally bulletproofed his stuff against everyone.
u/DeepStateDigger: Because EVERYONE would want it. Museums. Governments. The Church. Collectors. Universities. Everyone.
And he's said no to all of them for 222 years.
The Technical Analysis Thread
u/SecurityExpert: Let's talk about the security because it's INSANE.
EMP shielding for a vault? That's not standard. That means:
Electronic records inside are protected No external electronic interference possible Costs millions to install and maintain
Seismic sensors detecting tunneling from 500m? That's military-grade perimeter defense.
Climate control to ±0.1°C? That's better than the Vatican Archives. Better than the Library of Congress. Better than ANYWHERE.
Whatever's in there is fragile. Ancient. Irreplaceable.
u/ArchivistProfessional: The preservation requirements suggest paper documents. Very old paper. Maybe parchment. Maybe papyrus. Things that would disintegrate if the humidity changed by 5%.
u/MaterialsScientist: Inert gas fire suppression means no water, no foam, nothing that could damage delicate materials. That's what you use for irreplaceable documents and artifacts.
u/InsuranceAgent_Real: The "incalculable" insurance value makes sense now. How do you put a price on the only surviving copy of something? The last artifact from a lost civilization? Personal effects from someone who knew Julius Caesar?
You can't. So you write "incalculable" and charge €10 million a year to try.
Four Hours Later - The Master Thread
u/DeepStateDigger: UPDATED VAULT SUMMARY: Everything We Know
LOCATION: Switzerland, classified SIZE: 2,500 square meters (small warehouse) AGE: 222 years (established 1803) OWNER: P. Jackson Trust (identity cycling through centuries)
SECURITY:
€20-25 million annual cost Military-grade everything Museum-quality preservation Literally cannot be broken into Literally cannot be damaged Protected against: theft, fire, water, earthquakes, EMPs, tunneling, legal seizure
LEGAL PROTECTIONS:
Swiss banking (secrecy) UNESCO (cultural heritage) Vatican (religious artifacts) International diplomatic immunity Multiple sovereign guarantees Interpol "hands off" order
KNOWN VISITORS:
The Pope (or Vatican highest authority) Multiple heads of state Museum directors (wanting to borrow things) UNESCO representatives P. Jackson himself (quarterly)
CONTENTS:
Unknown exactly Historical artifacts (confirmed) Religious items (implied by Vatican) Documents (implied by climate control) Cultural treasures (implied by UNESCO) Things from ancient civilizations (speculated) Things museums desperately want (confirmed by visits) Things he won't share (confirmed by 222 years of "no")
ESTIMATED VALUE: Incalculable (literally)
CONCLUSION: The Eternal Soldier has been collecting things for 2,500 years and has built the most secure private vault in human history to keep them safe from everyone who wants them.
[1.2 MILLION upvotes, 127,483 comments - HIGHEST UPVOTED POST IN REDDIT HISTORY]
The Comments:
u/HistoryBuff2000: This is the greatest mystery in human history. What's in the vault?
u/MuseumCurator: Whatever it is, every museum in the world would kill to borrow it. And he's said no for 222 years. Respect.
u/ReligiousHistorian: The Pope visited. THE POPE. To see something in a private vault. I need to know what it is.
u/ArchaeologistPhD: If he has artifacts from lost civilizations... if he has documents that survived when everything else burned... this could rewrite history.
u/LegalEagle_Esq: The legal protections are a work of art. Whitmore Sterling earned every penny of their fees building this fortress of law.
u/SwissBankingAnon: I've worked in Swiss banking for 15 years. I've never seen anything like this. The security. The protections. The cost. This vault is unique in the world.
u/DeepStateDigger: We found The Eternal Soldier. We found his lawyers. We found his vault. But we still don't know what's IN THE VAULT.
u/TinfoilTina: honestly that makes it better. the mystery is the best part
u/SkepticalSam: I just want to know one thing. One artifact. Just to know it's real.
u/DeepStateDigger: Same. What's the ONE thing in that vault that made the Pope visit?
DIA Analysis Center - Amanda Foster
Amanda was reading the thread with her mouth open.
They'd found the vault.
Not just found it - they'd analyzed it, calculated costs, identified protections, and turned it into the most upvoted post in Reddit history.
Her phone rang. Cartwright.
"They found the vault," she said.
"I know. I'm reading it now. 1.2 million upvotes."
"Sir, they're speculating about biblical artifacts."
"Let them speculate. They don't know what's actually in there."
"Do WE know what's in there?"
Silence.
"Sir?"
"Agent Foster, that vault is under more legal protections than some countries. If Perseus wanted us to know what's in it, he'd tell us. Since he hasn't, I'm not asking."
"But the Pope—"
"Visited as a friend, according to the bank employee who leaked. FRIEND. Not as an official Vatican delegation. They had coffee. They talked. The Pope looked at some things. Then they left."
"The Pope had COFFEE with The Eternal Soldier."
"Apparently they're friends. Which, given Perseus has been alive for 2,500 years and has probably met every Pope since the Renaissance, isn't that surprising."
Amanda pulled up the thread again. "Reddit wants to know what's in the vault."
"So do I. But it's none of our business. That's the boundary. Legal matters are Whitmore Sterling's domain. Personal property is Perseus's domain. We handle security. That's it."
"Should we be concerned about the attention?"
"On the vault? No. It's the most secure location on Earth. Nobody's getting in there without Perseus's permission. And he's not giving permission."
Amanda scrolled through comments. "They love the mystery."
"Good. Let them love it. It keeps them engaged without revealing anything sensitive."
"One more thing, sir. The thread mentions visitors. Museum directors. Heads of state. Should we be worried about diplomatic complications?"
"Perseus has been saying 'no' to borrowing requests for 222 years. I think he'll continue saying 'no.' The vault is his. The contents are his. Everyone else can speculate."
Perseus's Apartment - That Evening
Perseus was reading the vault thread on his laptop, thoroughly amused.
They'd found it. Calculated costs. Identified protections. Speculated wildly about contents.
They were close on some things.
Very wrong on others.
And they had no idea about the sassy notes.
He pulled up his phone and texted Richard Ashworth: "Reddit found the vault. Thoughts?"
Richard replied immediately: "Saw the thread. They don't know contents. Legal protections holding. No concern."
"They mentioned the Pope visit."
"Public record, unfortunately. But no details disclosed. Your privacy intact."
"Good. He'd be mortified if people knew we argued about Shakespeare."
"The Pope argued with you about Shakespeare?"
"He thinks Hamlet is overrated. I defended it. We agreed to disagree over coffee."
"Your life is very unusual, Mr. Jackson."
"You have no idea."
Perseus closed his laptop and looked out at Manhattan.
Reddit knew about the vault.
They knew it was huge, expensive, and impossibly secure.
They knew the Pope had visited.
They knew museums wanted access.
But they didn't know WHAT was in it.
And that, Perseus thought, was exactly how it should stay.
For now.