Camelot Blvd was a strip that never slept in the east side of downtown. People came from all over the world to visit Camelot and club hop the dozens of clubs and famous bars. It was common to see crowds of people in costumes and hopped up on drugs and alcohol no matter what time of year or day of the week it was. The strip was filled with clubs and bars that capitalized on the name Camelot and adopted medieval themes. You could find drugs at every single one of these clubs. That's what was on James' mind when he parked his Musty Dang in an alley because parking anywhere else was full or taken. With a top notch security system and anti-break-in technology installed, he didn't worry about her sitting in a dark alley all by herself.
James made his way through a thick crowd of costumed club goers, foreign visitors, and young, stumbling drunks. He walked by several clubs, all named in fairy tale fashion like; Dragons Cave, Knights and Nobles, and The Kings Mistress. All of these were filled with people as they were the most popular, but they were also the most expensive.
James made his way into a bar and strip club called, The Joust. He was halted and patted down by two men in Knights armor who glanced at his ID before letting him in. The Joust was loud with music and the hooting and hollering of men as they watched a naked woman ride a mechanical horse on stage. James walked up to the bar counter and was greeted by a woman in what James only assumed was clothing worn by peasants and common folk back in those times..
"Ya'll take your jobs seriously around here, huh?" James says, trying to talk loud over the noise. "Peasant haircuts and everything."
"It makes the job fun," the bartender answered with a wide dimpled smile. "Makes it more lively and immersive, you know? What kind of drink you lookin' for?"
"What flavor mead y'all carry?"
"Pretty much any kind you can think of. Since it's Friday, we're serving our special blueberry mead, if you wanna try that?"
"Sure, I'll give it a shot."
The bartender grabs a mug then turns around and squats in front of the counter behind her. As she let the foamy, blueberry mead spill into the mug, James caught a good glimpse of her tramp stamp which depicted the crown of a queen. Her thong was also hoisted up on her hips and partially covering said crown. James grinned and nodded in approval. Nothing like a tramp stamp to wake a mans' dog up.
When she returned to the counter, she slid the mug over to James who took it and immediately sniffed it. It smelled of fermented blueberries. Before the bartender could go off and do anything else, James quickly decided to bring up what he was really looking for.
"Hey uh, I heard this place is where all the magic happens, you know what I mean?" James says cooly. The bartender didn't immediately catch on to what James was getting at and gave him a confused look.
"You know, the fairy dust and the broken mirror shards, you ridin' me?" James decided to use more familiar street jargon to describe common drugs seen and used in Camelot.
The bartender leans on the counter with her arms under her breasts which nearly popped up out of her medieval shirt.
"You a cop?" she asked.
"Uh, no." He answered.
"Who are you? What do you do?"
"Uh, I used to be a fighter pilot in the air force." James answered, looking down at the blueberry mead bubbling in his mug. The bartender slightly squinted her eyes at him for a moment before pointing across the dance-floor.
"See that jester over there?"
James turns around to look where she was pointing and spots the jester. He was mingling with a woman dressed as a princess, wearing one of those pointy, cone hats on her head, and a guy dressed in regular clothes and holding a beer mug. The jester seemed to be explaining something to the man. James could only imagine what in the world a Jester would be explaining to anyone.
"Yeah I see em." James answered.
"He's the guy that's probably got the magic you're looking for. If not, he knows someone around here who does."
James reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet. He pulls out two tens and tosses them on the counter in front of her.
"Thank you, miss, ya'll have a good night." James says charmingly as he got up from the stool. The bartender smiled at him and took the tip.
James squeezes his way through the medieval dancers and other club folk. When he reached the jester, he leaned on the wooden beam and waited for a pause in his conversation with the guy. When the guy walked off, James greeted the jester in his favorite manner.
"Howdy partener?"
"Hello! How art thou?" The Jester says in a surprising old english accent.
"I'm fine," James replies. "Just lookin' for some magic, you catch me? Tryna have a good time."
"Oh really? Where is thou from?" The Jester asked.
"I'm from the westside of town. You can call me Jimmie."
"Hm, Jimmie…and west of the kingdom walls you say?" The Jester says. The medieval princess leans in to be close to Jimmie over the noise. She too had an old english accent.
"Art thou a noble law? Defender of the kingdom walls?"
Jimmie laughs in genuine amusement.
"No", he answered. "I'm just lookin for some darn magic, you got some or not?"
The Jester pauses for a few beats.
"Alright, come on, follow me," The Jester said in his real American accent and leads Jimmie and the princess through the club. Jimmie hadn't noticed until they were walking through a door in the back area that a medieval knight had been right behind him the whole time.
The room was a sort of lounge or break room. The Jester walks in and stops near a cluster of couches and a round wooden table then turns to the Princess. The knight stood guard by the door. The busty woman starts undoing her corset—or whatever the hell she was wearing, causing Jimmie to scrunch his brow in confusion.
"Whoah, whoah," Jimmie says. "We on the same page here?"
"Dude, relax," The Jester said. "You said you wanted some magic, right?"
Just as he said that, the busty princess pulls out a small, dark blue velvet sack from under her boobs.
"Is that it?" The Jester asked. The busty princess felt around.
"Yeah."
The jester takes the small sack.
"Well, it looks like all I got left at the moment is an ounce of Cinderella," He says. "Now before you think it ain't the shit, this is some good stuff, it's just that the other stuff was a lot better, sorry bud."
"It's no problem, I'll take it." Jimmie reached for the sack but the Jester snatches it away.
"Hey! Coin first, my friend! Two-fifty!"
Jimmie reaches into his pocket and retrieves his wallet full of money then starts counting out two-hundred and fifty bucks.
"Two-fifty, I better fly to the moon on that shit." Jimmie said.
"Oh you'll fly— on the back of a fuckin dragon breathing fire and shit."
Jimmie hands the Jester the money and takes the sack in return. While the Jester counted the money, Jimmie opens the sack and peers inside. The blue and lavender powder sparkled like crystals in the twilight sky.
"Damn, it's sparkly." Jimmie said.
"Hell yeah, if it don't sparkle, it ain't fire." The Jester stuffed the wad of cash in a pouch at the waist of his costume.
"Well? Go on, take a bump." The Jester urged. "I like to see a new customer get blown away by my shit."
"I am, it's just…I never done this before." Jimmie admitted. He could feel the thrill arousing within him like a fire in a pit. He didn't know what to expect from this experience once he tried it and was eager but also a bit nervous. The same feeling he had the first time he jumped into the cockpit of a real jet and readied to take off.
"Holy shit! You're new?" The Jester said surprised. "You should've told me, I would'a gave you a discount."
"We should do it with him for his first time." The Princess suggested and the Jester agreed. The three sat on the couches around the table. The Jester had arranged three prop daggers on the table, their blades pointing at each of them. With the sack of Cinderella, he pours three thin lines on each blade. Jimmie rubbed his hands together nervously. He could hear Dance of Death by Iron Maiden playing out in the club. He was the last one to pick up his dagger as The Jester and The Princess were already holding theirs. The Princess put the blade up to her nose and winked at him before taking a bump. The Jester took his bump then started laughing. Jimmie took a deep breath before putting the blade to his nose and snorting up the powdery, crystallized substance. The rush hit him as if he had just broke the sound barrier. He felt ready. He didn't know what he was ready for, he was just ready. An extra effect of taking Cinderella was glistening and sparkly "stars" floating around shiny objects and his vision was slightly a bluish hue. Nearly everything glistened and sparkled just like Cinderella's glass slipper.
Jimmie moved quickly through the club, taking to the dance-floor and dancing like an idiot with whoever. At one point he found himself riding the mechanical horse. The women in the club threw dollars at him and cheered which prompted him to take his shirt off and twirl it around his head. His antics in the club caught the attention of a pretty woman in her mid twenties and dressed in regular clothes. She was with a group of three friends who were all laughing at him.
At one point, Jimmie couldn't even remember how it started, but he and the pretty girl, who's name came to be, Vanessa, ended up on the dance-floor together. With the help of Jimmie's magic, they engaged in a make-out session. Before he knew it, he, Vanessa and her friends were club hopping and drinking until Jimmie and Vanessa could barely stand.
Walking out of a club felt so refreshing with the cool air.
"Damn! I'm fucked man!" Vanessa said drunkenly as she stumbled beside Jimmie. "Do you got a place or something?"
"Oh yeah, it's out west," Jimmie says, running into a hand rail. "What say we head over there, cowgirl?"
"Heck yeah! But I can't walk all the way over there. Can you carry me?"
"I would…but I can barely stand…" Jimmie trips and falls on his face. Vanessa and her friends laugh.
Somehow, Jimmie was able to remember where he parked his car and lead the girls to it.
"Aye, my friend can drive," Vanessa slurred as they all neared the musty dang. "She's our designated driver. Don't worry, she's really good at driving and shit, she won't mess up your car."
"Is that right?" Jimmie asked the friend, the only completely sober one in the group. "She might be a little too fast for ya."
"I drive fast cars all the time." She replied as Jimmie dug in his pocket and took out his car key. She took the key and unlocks the car, then everyone piled in. Jimmie sat in the back behind the passenger seat, Vanessa was on the other side and her friend between them. Jimmie was so drunk and high that after sitting down, he didn't think he would be able to get back up. His head fell against the door and drool spilled out of the side of his mouth. He could hear the girls in the front seats talking and laughing. Everything was still blue and sparkly. Vanessa was damn near in the same position as Jimmie, her head resting on the door and her eyes closed. Suddenly, she feels the door for the window button to roll it down so she could stick her head out and chuck vomit out of it. Colored throw up flew through the air and across the side of Jimmie's car.
"Shit, you okay?" The friend laughed. Vanessa moaned in response.
After a while, the car got strangely quiet. If Jimmie was able to look out the window, he would've saw that they were speeding down a two way highway outside of the city, surrounded by farmland. The designated driver pulled off to the side of the road and Jimmie is pushed out of the car, landing in the grassy ditch. He was completely out and unaware that his car was driving off back into the city without him.