Zoltan watched us, amused.
How can everyone face days like this every single time?
I couldn't understand how the world outside the walls could be so harsh.
Around noon, Zoltan whistled, marking the break.
I saw everyone collapse against the yard's wooden fence. We were all at our absolute limit, or perhaps it was just me.
The Captain headed toward the barracks, and a moment later, a woman emerged from a small wooden cabin next to it.
Theo, who had remained completely mute for the entire duration of the training, suddenly became energetic again.
"Look at her, Luth..." he whispered, pointing at the cabin.
I turned in that direction. The woman walked out carrying a large, steaming sack over her shoulder.
The air began to fill with a scent that strongly reminded me of roasted potatoes.
It was delicious.
I felt my stomach rumble.
"She's an angel. I swear to you, one day I'll marry her and give her a life of luxury," Theo said, watching her.
"Pfft!"
A half-laugh escaped my lips.
Honestly, I was expecting to eat something at least somewhat substantial.
Maybe they really are roasted potatoes, seasoned...
My mouth was already watering.
But then why did that woman have a sack in her hands with clouds of steam pouring out of it?
Where are the seasoned roasted potatoes!?
The woman began distributing the contents of the sack, one by one, starting from the opposite side of the yard.
A moment later, when she got close enough, my eyes struggled to believe what they were seeing.
She was pulling long, red potatoes out of the sack, still steaming. Furthermore, they still had the skins on.
When my turn came, I gritted my teeth.
The woman gave me a half-smile and handed me a potato.
I stared at it for a few seconds. As much as that smell continued to draw me in, it was not at all what I had been expecting.
I turned to look at all the others; in that moment, they all looked almost as if they were happy. I held the steaming potato tightly against my chest.
That warmth was the only thing that felt alive in the middle of that freezing day, and after all the physical exertion of the morning, to me, it wasn't just food.
I closed my eyes.
It was the symbol of my effort, the proof that I had survived the morning. Before I even realized it, I felt tears sliding down my cheeks.
Theo gave me an energetic pat on the shoulder, laughing.
"I don't think you should let the others see you like this."
"S-sorry, I was just happy."
I wiped an arm across my face to clear the tears. I looked up and noticed a boy with an enormous scar down the middle of his face, staring at me.
He was standing right in front of me, just beyond the fence. Our eyes met.
Perhaps he was looking at me for the very first time.
Without thinking, I raised my hand in mid-air and waved at him.
I saw him stand up very slowly, letting out a heavy huff.
The children here are very strange.
Is he coming over here? No, maybe I'm just imagining it... I just hope he's friendly...
I quickly looked away. I didn't want him to catch me staring at him and think I was some kind of weirdo. Just in case he did introduce himself, I wanted to at least make a good impression.
I made myself comfortable; finally, I could eat something, but just as I was about to bite into my prize, I noticed someone approaching, until a shadow completely covered me.
"Give me that, 'princess'," he hissed, emphasizing the name he called me.
"Uhm?" I looked up; I couldn't believe it.
We exchanged a quick glance. He really had come for me.
"Are you deaf or something?"
I turned to the right and then to the left; maybe he wasn't there for me.
But I didn't see anyone else; there was only Theo, who was eating with his back turned.
I had a knot in my throat.
"So you're pretending not to hear me, huh?"
"W-we—" I tried to speak, but I was instantly cut off.
"So you're pretending not to hear me, huh!?"
I tried to sketch a smile on my face.
What does he mean? I don't under—
I didn't even have time to process the situation before, a moment later, a violent kick struck the fence behind me, causing me to knock my head against the wood.
The force of the blow made me smash my head against those wooden planks, making me fall to the side.
What... Why is this happening? What did I do to you?
I saw that potato I had in my hand roll beside me; now it was dirtied with earth.
I don't know why, but I felt the need to hold it tight.
The dirt covering it disgusted me, but it was my reward, my earnings after all those hours of grueling labor.
Damn it...
I heard Theo's voice. I was turned away, lying on the ground, and the only thing I could manage to do was reach out a hand to take back that potato.
"..."
"You bastard, why?"
"Guh!"
I heard a thud next to me. Theo had been thrown aside. Immediately after, someone grabbed my hair, pulling me sharply upward.
"Agh!"
Why?
"Let g... A-agh!"
That boy snatched the potato from my hands, then dropped me to the ground. I stayed there, helpless in the mud.
My gaze fell upon Theo.
He was writhing on the ground, curled up on himself.
"The—" I tried to call him, but the words wouldn't come out.
"Tsk, look what I have to put up with, you even dropped it."
I watched as he swallowed it in two bites, while my stomach contracted in a dull pain, almost as much as the sense of defeat devouring me inside.
I didn't...
I squeezed the dirt and gravel in my hands so hard they bled.
Why isn't anyone doing anything?
The others around the fence were passive, as if they were already completely accustomed to this situation.
Most of them kept their gazes lowered or simply turned their heads; I even caught a glimpse of the boy I had tried to speak with this morning—he was laughing while talking to someone next to him.
Why... am I so weak?
I hadn't even been able to keep that miserable reward.
Why couldn't I manage to say a single word?
The thought tore at me.
"You really are weak."
My eyes went wide, barely holding back the tears.
Weak, yeah. If only...
I curled up in the mud, pulling my knees to my chest. I buried my face in my arms and stayed there, wishing only that I could turn back time.
Why?...
A blow sank deep into my stomach. I doubled over, gasping for air, but another impact reached me before I could recover. Then yet another. I gritted my teeth.
"You know, everyone was talking about the arrival of a fallen noble... Apparently, they were right to kick you out."
I heard the sounds gradually distort and my vision blur.
Hilda... I'm sorry.
"...Knock it off! You're taking it too far!"
"Uh? You want to defend... your little frie... And what exactly are you going to do?"
Why are they doing all this to me? I...
The boy's hand forcefully grabbed my hair again; I felt my feet drag across the gravel beneath me.
A blow caught me in the stomach; this time, the pain forced me to swallow bile and a bit of blood.
If only... I had mana...
I felt my eyelids growing heavy.
...Right now, I could still be at the palace.
Then, darkness.
A sudden heat radiated from my arm. My eyes snapped open, and my mind cleared instantly.
"...I swear, if you don't stop, I...! I...!"
And Theo?
"You? What's a wimp like you going to do?"
I slightly raised my trembling gaze and saw Theo; his image was blurred like everything else, but I recognized him by his blond hair.
"T-Theo, r-elax..."
In that moment, I saw it. Or rather, I felt it. A slight pressure coming from Theo. His face had gone crimson.
Around him, a subtle breeze rose, lifting the smallest stones from the ground.
This breeze...
It was that exact breeze that, for a moment, made me remember the same feeling I always got from Hilda when she vanished into thin air.
Idiot... Stop... Like this... He'll take it out on you.
"T-Theo... let it g-go."
Earth was accumulating and expanding from Theo's hand at a staggering speed.
"M-move, LUTHIAN!" he suddenly screamed, tears in his eyes.
The weight in his voice was enough to bring me back to my senses and understand the situation. I don't know why, but instinctively I felt that I had to move, to get out of there at all costs.
I tried to break free from that boy in every way possible, but failing to do so, I bit down on his arm; I bit so hard I tasted his blood in my mouth. He suddenly let go, and I turned toward Theo.
Does he want to kill us? Is he stupid?
"M-move!" I immediately looked at that boy, but he didn't seem to be listening to me; he was frozen, his eyes wide as he stared at Theo.
In that instant, I heard a sharp crack suddenly cut through the air. I shoved that boy aside and immediately threw myself backward.
A violent jet of air rushed past me, throwing me back a few meters and covering me in dry earth and leaves.
My ears rang for a few seconds. I rolled onto my side, coughing, spitting dirt and blood.
"I'm sorry, Luth! I'm sorry, did you get hurt?"
Theo ran over to me, helping me to my feet. I looked up, and over half the yard, a massive dust cloud had risen, making it almost impossible to see anything.
What happened? Was that magic?
I looked at Theo, petrified, breaking into a cold sweat.
"Are you stupid?" the words slipped out of me with a naturalness I hadn't expected.
As the wall of dust dissolved, I caught sight of a figure curled up on himself a few meters away from me. Everyone present was glued to the fences, their eyes wide open. Some more than others.
Theo grabbed me by the shoulders, shaking me.
"Hey! You're okay, right? Hey, Luth! You didn't get hurt, did you?"
"Were you trying to kill us?"
"Sorry, I didn't know how to make him stop... So this was the only thing I could think of."
"If you aimed just a little further left or right, one of us could have been in serious trouble!"
"Why?"
"But I didn't! Controlling magic like that requires a huge amount of energy!"
"But you're okay now, and that's what matters." He looked at me, laughing.
Why!?
I spun around abruptly; I was momentarily caught off guard by Theo's chatter. The dust cloud had completely receded, and I realized that the other boy on the ground, with tears in his eyes, was trying to speak to me.
That face... It's all your fault, if you hadn't...
He stood up shortly after, looking at me as he wiped his arm across his face.
"Why did you save me?" he murmured.
I stared at him for a moment, with the metallic taste of blood in my mouth and my ribs struggling to expand.
I didn't have an intelligent answer to give him.
There was no noble ideal of justice in my head. I just did it. Before I could stammer anything, a sharp whistle tore through the courtyard.
"Playtime's over, you maggots! On your feet!" Zoltan's voice thundered, distant but relentless.
The scarred boy jolted, avoiding my gaze and turning his back, disappearing among the other boys who were already stumbling to get back in line.
"Luth, did you get hurt? Can you move?" Theo had rushed to my side, his eyes wide with fear and his voice trembling. He offered me a calloused, dirty hand.
"Yeah... I think so." I lied.
I took his hand and pulled myself up, but my knees gave out almost immediately.
If Theo hadn't supported me by the arm, I would have fallen face-first into the dirt again.
"Here, take this! Ah, but don't eat it right away! Your stomach must be aching from the kicks, right?"
He pulled a small bundle from his pocket. With a quick shake, the cloth opened to reveal half a potato, still warm and steaming. He slipped it into my pocket.
He looked at me, smiling.
How can you... do this for a person you don't even know?
In that moment, I couldn't hold back the tears.
"You would have done the same, I'm sure of it!"
"..."
"You damn brat! Theo, where are you!?"
From the other side of the yard, Zoltan let out a deafening roar that made my ears hurt.
"Oops! Can you manage to keep going on your own?"
I looked at Theo for a few seconds; I could see the fear and agitation creeping onto his face.
As if what had just happened was nothing at all.
I barely managed a smile.
He let me go, but gently, and dashed away at an impressive speed.
With every step, I felt cramps in my stomach, but slowly, I was recovering.
For some strange reason, I couldn't hold any resentment toward him.
Watching that boy walking away with hunched shoulders, I had the unpleasant sensation that his hell had begun long before mine.
After that incident, the rest of the evening passed in a blur of grueling exercises. The scarred boy kept his distance the entire time, though occasionally I caught him looking at me out of the corner of his eye.
The world out there was unforgiving, and I had only just begun to understand exactly how high the price of survival truly was.