However, facing Hu Tao—who looked aggressive but was actually just adorable—
Bai Ge wasn't afraid in the slightest.
"Do you know what's most important in the new era of Liyue?" Bai Ge asked again.
"Service!"
Without waiting for Hu Tao to answer, Bai Ge answered himself.
"In the new era of Liyue, service is the most important thing!"
"Take a look at your promotions—where's the service? Buy one get one free? The more you buy, the more you get?"
"My heavens! Liyue has already developed past its pioneering phase. In other words, people aren't short on money anymore!"
"Giving out an extra coffin or upgrading the funeral specs—do you really think anyone cares about that little bit of Mora?"
Bai Ge questioned her.
"Hmm… now that you mention it, people really don't lack that bit of Mora…"
Recalling her repeated failures in sales pitches, Hu Tao suddenly realized the problem.
"Exactly!" Bai Ge nodded.
"People don't worry about scarcity—they worry about inequality.
The wealthy always need value-added services to show how they're different."
"And that's where the importance of service comes in!" Bai Ge concluded.
"Mhm, that makes sense!" Hu Tao nodded in agreement.
Then, her fiery Staff of Homa nudged forward slightly.
"So can you tell me now—what does all that have to do with the kind of funeral you want?
Or do I need to help you decide?"
"Uh…"
Staring into Hu Tao's plum-blossom-shaped eyes that clearly said 'Go on, I'm listening',
a bead of sweat slid down Bai Ge's temple.
"Don't rush me—I'm getting to the point."
"Actually, the coffin dance is just one kind of value-added service!
I don't like it personally, but I want a different type of premium service!" Bai Ge explained.
"Oh?"
Hu Tao's star-like eyes flickered.
"For example—have you heard of a mysterious past?"
Bai Ge tossed out yet another new term.
Hearing this, Hu Tao—who had just been mentally shaken once—instantly grew wary again.
Watching Hu Tao take three big steps back in one go, Bai Ge couldn't help but laugh.
"Relax, relax—this time it's nothing weird."
"You're acting like I'm teaching you some forbidden doctrine from an indescribable outer god…"
Bai Ge said helplessly.
"Indescribable outer gods?! I knew it!
That coffin dance knowledge just now made my brain overheat!"
"So you are a spy sent by some Abyssal Evil God, aren't you?!"
Hu Tao gasped in shock.
"The Blind Idiot God—the less you know, the safer you are!"
"Oh no, oh no! I talked to you for so long—I've been contaminated!"
As she spoke, Hu Tao grabbed her head and shook it frantically.
Her twin ponytails flailed wildly, like runaway reins, making one want to grab hold of them.
"Hey, hey, where did that come from?"
Bai Ge was speechless.
"Be serious—I'm discussing business with you!"
"Oh—ohhh—okay."
Hu Tao finally calmed down.
"A mysterious past means that after I die, I want a fabricated backstory created for me."
"For example—
have me swallow candy-coated weapon fragments, so after cremation those fragments appear in my ashes, making people wonder if I once participated in some secret war."
"Then, during my funeral, arrange for a pair of people dressed in Millelith uniforms to salute me, cry bitterly, and then burn piles of classified documents."
"Other things too—like a beautiful girl carving a magic circle late at night, trying to summon a heroic spirit."
"Or a noble young lady standing under a clear sky, holding a black umbrella, silently crying in front of my grave."
"Or someone who's obviously from a special organization returning a damaged classified weapon at my tomb."
"Stuff like that, and so on and so on.
As for crying, cursing, and emotional breakdowns—that's all basic operations."
Bai Ge explained at length.
"So in the end, the key point is:
you want lots of beautiful girls, right?"
After listening for a long time, Hu Tao delivered a razor-sharp summary.
"…But I get this 'mysterious past' idea now."
"It can be done—and honestly, it sounds pretty interesting…"
Hu Tao's eyes lit up.
At last, Bai Ge hadn't been bluffing her.
"See? See?" Bai Ge nodded repeatedly.
"Alright then, I'll head back first—"
Seeing that Hu Tao had been successfully distracted, Bai Ge prepared to make a quick escape.
But—
"Stop right there!"
A sharp shout froze him in place.
"This deal—I, Hu Tao, accept it!"
"I promise that no matter where you die in the future, Wangsheng Funeral Parlor will bring your body back!"
"So—pay up!"
A fair, slender palm extended toward Bai Ge.
"…How much?" Bai Ge asked cautiously.
"One million Mora," Hu Tao replied.
"…Ah."
Hearing that astronomical number, Bai Ge instantly put on a pain mask.
"That's way too expensive. Can I get a discount?" he asked.
"Of course!"
Hearing that question, Hu Tao revealed a sly grin that clearly said 'I was waiting for that.'
"I need you to help me with something."
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