It was the first time Eishi encountered people from ACGs he hadn't seen. His information advantage does not work this time.
'Anime… no, a light novel about a group of soldiers? I don't recall anything of the likes.'
His gaze happened to land on the sole woman of the group for the second time. He evaluated her using the system's pragmatic ratings.
If it was before, Eishi would have gone out of his way to involve himself with her, ultimately lulling her into his embrace through tacit and implied threats.
It is different now.
He is far more restrained than the first twenty days at Yokohama. He seems to have reverted to his true nature—someone who never wanted to become a scumbag.
From Shino, Mashiro, Kuroneko, and now, this new 'Mari', his treatment is leagues ahead of his current confidantes.
…
…
…
'Shit.'
The realization grew stronger as he recalled everything he did back then. A simple comparison did the deed.
Suppressing his turbulent emotions, Eishi waited until the group came out with a response.
"We cannot make a decision in this regard. Could we come back later?"
"Sure."
Eishi's worsening mood remained hidden except for a select few. Hachiman's heart tensed up as he attributed it to their 'indecisiveness' at this time.
'He should be someone with a clear-cut attitude for deals. Did we make a mistake?'
Only when they left unscathed did he calm down.
Looking at the gradually receding villa, he was torn apart for a while before making a decision.
'I hope I am overthinking it…'
*****
"Did I make the wrong decision..?"
Hot water trickled down his neck as the shower remained open. Beyond Eishi's perfectly sculpted body was a brooding look. His right palm rested on the bathroom wall as he faced down the floor.
Eishi was too blind to his actions in the past twenty days, or rather, he had been blinded by everything he possessed that he never bothered to think twice about his actions.
His flimsy self-internalizations were all to justify every single shitty thing he had done. Eishi became comfortable once he had a certain level of power that ensured his safety. He never bothered thinking deeply about his actions, nor did he bother to form deeper bonds with his confidante.
The Favorability Meter further worsened these tendencies.
Based on their measured favorabilities, Eishi was subtly favoring those with higher scores. Those who did not face self-questioning and doubts, as if all of his confidantes are supposed to trust him wholeheartedly.
They are already his. He gave them enough resources and opportunities to become stronger. Nobody sane enough would choose to betray him. He took it for granted that their lives are his to decide—just like how he pushed them all to conduct daily practical training.
When the ten-day grace period after the insect swarm's attack came, Eishi indulged himself with pleasure and promiscuity, becoming a person unrecognizable to his past self—to his past life as another Eishi.
Each and every piece of his development altered him subtly. It was hard to detect without others pointing it out.
'Since when did I… become like this..?'
Reflections of his past actions came several times. The more he thought about it, the more his heart sank.
He grew too arrogant.
Eishi's development is akin to a sloping graph. It was barely acceptable at the start. He did many scummy things just to survive. In terms of his life, it has never been wrong.
He reached the 'peak' and went downhill once he gradually got a gist of the 'apocalypse'. The feeling of being unmatched in the world—thanks to his rebate chances and SSS rated talent—felt so good it was numbingly addictive.
It was very ironic that, at the time he first met Haruno, he scoffed at people being corrupted by wealth. Eishi never imagined he would fall to the same pit—unknowingly, atop that.
Arrogance led to self-serving tendencies. He barely held onto his 'humanity' by sticking at the bottom lines he had drawn.
Once the sense of safety grew stronger, Eishi's bottom lines showed signs of returning to normal. His arrival in Tokyo is merely a catalyst that sped things up, making it more noticeable.
Finally, his three meetings with the four qualified confidantes made him realize how fucked up he was. Eishi's act of restraining himself was his last bit of conscience attempting to pull him back.
'Airi, Mahiru, even Hiratsuka-sensei…'
Disregarding the opened shower head, he sat on the wooden stool.
Eishi recounted the most obvious faults he could think of as of now.
Airi did not need much thinking. Any good person would have rejected her advances under the influence of drugs. He chose not to so that he saw it as an easy way out.
It served to reason he should make up things for her, yet he did not.
Instead, it was she who adjusted her mentality and accepted Eishi despite his rampant philandering with other women.
Mahiru had it worse. She is Eishi's soulmate… in this life, that is. They share similar circumstances and are supposed to share each other's burdens, turning this cruel world into a slightly better place.
What did he do?
He took advantage of her emotional vulnerability just to trigger his system's rewards. He took her bouts of sourness as a cute side, not bothering to think deeply about it. Eishi's supposed "making things up" went to the trash bin the moment he chose to neglect 'connecting' deeply to her.
Shizuka-sensei suffered from survivor's guilt. Her sense of responsibility as one of the few adults in their team pushed her to do things against her original will. Eishi took advantage of her guilt to bed her.
A teacher who helped him largely for an entire year ended up in her current, nigh-broken state. Yet Eishi never bothered looking back at her until now.
The thought of pushing these three into suffering made Eishi feel worse—rightfully so.
'I want to fucking..!'
Bam-!
A clear crater appeared on the floor his fist landed on. His skin did not suffer any wounds. The power surging through his body is more than enough to bulldoze through modern concrete. It was this power that made him unmatched throughout the places he had been to, but it was also the one that made him oblivious of his surroundings.
The punch did nothing to reduce the heavy feeling in his chest.
After all, his misdeeds and selfishness did not end with these three.
When Utaha's parents died, he spurned her on to live—because he needed a maid.
He did not respect Megumi's wishes and kept placing her in uncomfortable situations, all because her flustered looks were "cute".
He implicitly threatened Haruno that she would be thrown out if she does not prove her worth.
He pushed Saeko into embracing her sadistic, borderline psychopathic tendencies. One she tried her best to keep herself away from.
He tacitly allowed Haruno's "education" which ended up with Yukino pulling off the same deed as her sister, utilizing threats and powers that led to her giving up any chances of pure love.
Saya and the clumsy Shizuka were two unfortunate people, yet he knowingly used his advantage to bed them both. He did not even bother with their lives so long as they remained "loyal" to him. Only when Saya's father turned out to be Souichiro did he invest more time in knowing her alone.
Finally, he turned Mrs. Yuigahama became his exclusive sex slave just because he wanted to have a change of taste. He even went as far as having ideas of enjoying both the mother and daughter together!
Each realization was akin to grating a pencil's lead. Eishi's sins… wrongdoings were written one by one. By the time it was fully listed, he had long stopped thinking about anything else.
'Is this what I want? To become a fucking third-rate doujinshi villain? Fuck..!'
The entire bathroom was thrown into chaos. Shattered parts of flooring and polished walls flew everywhere. Eishi vented the crushing guilt he experienced by destroying things, but to no avail.
He understood it was all done for his survival. The point is that…
'How did I… I could have been better…'
As long as he wanted it, he could have treated them better. The recompense Eishi kept telling himself could have been given to them right after he took advantage of them. Yet he did not. His arrogance subtly disconnected him with others.
In short…
Eishi turned into the worst kind of scumbag.
At this time, only the sounds of water and concrete excavation was all that could be heard.
*****
Saeko knew Eishi from the beginning. He bore an air of a "guy-next-door". Friendly, confident, and physically well-built. It was hard to deny that she wasn't attracted to him back then. Her interest in him stemmed from his ungodly physique and insane learning speed.
Saeko thought he was just someone who had taken a sudden interest in martial arts, but when she saw his continued dedication, she knew he was truly devoted to it.
The apocalypse explained everything. How could one not be interested in martial arts knowing these disasters would strike?
As such, Saeko's impression of him changed constantly until it settled on one:
Survivor.
Eishi will go to a large extent to guarantee his survival. Everything became much more reasonable when viewed under these lenses.
His act of saving Megumi might have been fueled by emotions, but it is undeniable that her "worth" as a "suitable" target for his superpower takes up a good part of it. Eishi saved women left and right mostly because of it.
Eishi's reveal at that time was a double-edged sword. It made his women aware of his abilities, but it also made his acts transactional rather than emotional—genuine love girls at her age would fall for.
Saeko did not blame him for his actions. She is fully aware of what weakness would produce at a cruel time like this. If Eishi hadn't saved them, their best outcome is to die painlessly. Their worst outcomes were to be eaten alive by zombies or to be played with by espers.
To that, Eishi did a very good job. The weight of this gratitude is more than enough for Saeko to forsake everything else.
Hence she dedicated herself to him.
As long as a bit of that love remains—a bit of his concern—it was enough. She would fully accept him and the consequences of doing so. Saeko's attachment to him bordered the lines of a crazy psychopath, one fixated on its subject.
"Hm..?"
The villa has a lot of rooms. Everyone else avoided awkwardness by staying inside their rooms. Shino advised them about the food and water to consume in the kitchen. Eishi and Saeko went to different rooms publicly, but no one is preventing her from sneaking into Eishi's bedroom.
Addicted to his presence, Saeko could not resist making a move. And so she received what she asked for… or so she thought.
The bathrobe he wore highlighted his well-built physique. Saeko was expecting the usual Eishi, "playing" around with her before going into the main course.
'What happened..?'
She instantly noticed his unusual mood. It wasn't completely brooding. It was more of guilt.
Upon seeing Saeko, he paused for a few seconds before speaking:
"Let's not do it tonight."
"Oh…"
While it wasn't a big deal, her disappointment was there.
'Fuck myself…'
After his disillusionment, Eishi saw things more clearly. His actions pushed Saeko down the psychopathic tendencies she avoided. He did not advocate for any limitations, guiding her more and more down the crazy route.
As the one who did it all, Saeko's love towards him is almost overflowing. He used to be flattered, playing around with her newfound antics. His realizations pounded his head with the truths he had avoided for long.
Like Shizuka-sensei, Saeko's psyche is on the verge of breaking.
'All of it..!'
Only at this moment did Eishi feel a sense of helplessness.
He did not say anything else, trying his best not to let out his thoughts as he crawled onto the bed and hugged her waist. He buried his face down her deep cleavage and did nothing else.
Saeko's expectations rose slightly. The warmth of his body was transmitted beyond two layers of fabric. The 'weight' of Eishi's arms and the somewhat tight hug made her feel flustered.
When she saw him fall asleep, her expectations waned, but not for long. A new feeling overtook herself.
'This…'