"The hell is your problem?" I grabbed the arm that clamped down on my neck, trying to pry it free. It wouldn't move an inch; all I did was make it tighter.
"I told you, didn't I?" Margaret said, leaning her face closer. "If you dared to destroy the last thing she had going, I would personally kill you myself. Just because I have forgiven you for that incident does not mean I have forgotten it."
"How about you stop trying to manage me all the damn time?" I felt the air struggle to reach my lungs. But seeing her eyes, those cold eyes, I could tell that she was holding back. She was Margaret. An understanding brute. She had forgiven me for something that I still haven't yet. "I had a reason to kill that man."
Margaret's grip loosened, and I fell to the ground, arched over. I coughed hard as the air rushed into my lungs, but before I could rest for too long, I found myself slammed to the floor. The sword on my back was ripped off and tossed aside, a heel replacing it.
"Do tell," she said, digging her heel deep.
Through the thick clothing I wore, I felt the coldness of that heel rubbing against my skin. Sharp pain flared across my body as my spine found itself on the verge of being shattered.
There was much I wanted to say. How that man forced that woman to kill herself. How he and a buddy were part of some shady dealings with the cult. I wanted to say those things, but even I know those were not the reason I killed him.
Margaret was no fool. She had raised me along with Master. Anything I said or did was read by this woman like a book.
"URK!"
"I. AM. WAITING."
She stomped her heel. I felt the blow ripple through my body. Had I had anything left inside of me, I might have vomited it up.
"I…" I said. The words stuck in my throat.
Why did I kill him? Was it necessary? Of course it was. Monsters like him should never be allowed to live in this world. A person like him would never have understood what an orphan has to deal with in this city. Either be treated like a slave in an orphanage or fend for your life on the streets. Death is the only way to punish those like him, after all—
"I saw myself in him," I said. The heel on my back lifted. "He forced that little girl, who was trying her best to be brave, to live alone in this world. I just saw Rinara's child. A child I forced to be taken into an orphanage. Her body was covered in wounds. Wounds that would permanently scar her body. So yeah, I killed him, scum like him—no ME deserves to—UGH!"
Before I could finish, I felt a blow to the solar plexus. My body arched over the fist that drove deep into me. The room around me blurred as I tried to breathe. My legs buckled, and I fell forward, my vision darkening, into something soft and warm. Soft heartbeats filled my mind as a gentle hand stroked through my hair.
"Sorry," a voice said.
It was warm, comforting, yet somehow nostalgic. I wonder if this is what lying in a field of lavender would feel like. A gentle, relaxing feeling, while a fragrant smell lifted you to a higher plane.
"You had your reasons." The voice continued. The voice was Margaret's. A side of her I rarely had the chance to see. She was like a mother; she always looked out for me. So why? Why do I always try to hurt her? "But you live a life for others now. You stole the shining light that was our hope."
It was my fault that shining light was killed.
"You were never at fault."
Yes, I was; she would still be alive had I not pulled the trigger.
"Nothing can escape the void curse."
"Shut up!" I pushed Margaret away. Wide-eyed, she stared at me. Gone was the anger she felt. "Stop trying to comfort me. Rinara was killed by my hands. MY HANDS. If I had never made a mistake that day. If we had never had that little argument, she would never have tried to look for me. She would never have been infected!"
Something warm rolled down my face. But before I could say another word, I heard some soft footsteps outside the changing room. I wiped my face and turned to look at Margaret.
"Please, can you get me a new set of clothes? Oh, and force Kelly to wear something different as well; there is something I need to confirm."
"So you still blame yourself," Margaret spoke gently as she walked past me. "How long will you live in that land of disillusion?"
Once Margaret left the changing room, my legs gave out. Placing a hand on my chest, I could feel how hard my heart was beating. It was strange. Anytime Margaret nearly killed me in the past, I never got this anxious. Why fear dying now?
Because you have something that you need to do.
An echo of Rinara's voice played in my mind. She spoke those words to me once—once when I thought I couldn't do anything. Back before when I thought there was nothing left for me in the world after being abandoned in the streets of the Middle Core. I questioned why I needed to live; no, perhaps why I wanted to live would be more appropriate.
Something I want to do.
The only thing that came to mind was Rinne. She ventured through hell just to find me. I want to respect that. But her request to find her mother's killer…that was me. Should I tell her?
No, there was more to that case. That was clear through those crooks.
I felt around my clothes and found the artifact that was in my pocket.
This was the key to reopening that cold case. Whoever pulled the strings that day must be connected to this; I am sure of it.
"Here!"
Startled, I turned towards the sound of the voice. Margaret, now with a smile, entered the changing room and tossed me a set of clothing.
"Looks like you've got your groove back." She said playfully. "Remember, you aren't alone. We have been fighting the same fight as you. We will figure out what really happened that day."
"How can you be so certain?" I asked, stripping off the bloodied clothes.
"Because you are a detective whose sidekick is the daughter of the true Golden Steam. How can I not be so certain?" Margaret then spun around, facing the door. "I know that this mental state of yours is only momentary, but seriously, you are not alone. You never have been."
"I know," I said. She let out a sound of approval and left the changing room.
Despite that, that does not change the fact that Rinara's death was caused by me. No amount of vindication will deny that.