With alien portals spewing variations of cockroach-inspired alien lifeforms all around town yesterday—and increasing reports of such invasions happening all over the world suddenly surfacing like mushrooms after the rain—you would think they'd close the schools on Monday.
But they didn't.
One of the kids in her class had informed the others that the alien monsters were here to catch naughty children. Jennifer had assured her class that this was not true.
She did NOT joke that if it were true, she was sure at least half of them would have been taken.
It was tempting, though.
At lunch break, a couple of teachers came over to check on her. Jennifer thought perhaps they recognized her building prominently featured in some of the news footages…
But no.
They were checking on her relationship with Adrian Silver.
Jennifer had forgotten Adrian's appearance on Friday at the Teacher's Special Lunch. That felt like a lifetime ago.
"No, we're not dating," Jennifer said, trying to sound like a calm and knowing adult. "He's my neighbour. He was just joking the other day."
Ah.
But Jennifer blundered with that answer.
Now the two ladies looked eagerly hopeful that they could come over to Jennifer's apartment to hang out sometime.
She managed a laugh and a non-committal agreement.
"Maybe sometime. (When he's not around.)"
Actually, now that Jennifer thought about it…
The fancy doorman.
The black-and-white staff and butler (who was a secret former assassin).
The up-and-coming boy idol group Alive.
The young alpha.
The crown prince…
If Jennifer were to have someone come over, it wouldn't be just Adrian she'd have to worry about. She would have to empty the entire building.
Including the white horse that Angus liked to bring over to graze in their small backyard from time to time.
But Jennifer had no time to consider the multitude of incomprehensible circumstances surrounding her life since becoming the landlady of her building.
She was a kindergarten teacher running at full throttle.
Today the kids drew pictures of aliens—although they looked rather like colourful crayon bugs.
Then Jennifer got the kids to cut out the alien bugs (practice for using scissors), and they played a game where the alien bugs had to divide themselves among a number of hula hoops (math lesson).
Jennifer would add or take away hoops, and the kids took turns rearranging the paper bugs.
By the end of the game:
One kid had adopted the pink bug and named her Baby.
Another kid had gone around plucking out the legs of one too many paper bugs.
One child got scared of the paper bugs and started crying.
The wolf brothers immediately led a team of kids to stomp on the paper bugs for making their friend cry.
It ended with one of the wolf brothers throwing all the paper bugs into a hula hoop and then dragging a toy wagon over the hoop to keep the aliens contained.
"I'm the dragon guy!" he announced proudly.
"Ronan the Dragon?" Jennifer asked.
"Yes!"
Because that particular video clip was now the hottest Pandora Online Hero clip from yesterday.
Specifically the one where someone had added sound effects of a dragon roaring and cartoon flames whenever Ronan pushed back the bugs.
Jennifer watched it when she got home.
(Just to keep in touch with what her kids were watching on their parents' phones.)
Then she watched every other video with Ronan's face in the thumbnail.
Multiple versions of yesterday's clip—titles like "What Ronan the Dragon does on a Day Off" to "Epic ROD Slaying"—but all showing the same footage.
She watched edited Top 10 montages, and then fell down the rabbit hole of classic footage reposted by Pandora Online as Top Ranker spotlights.
Although Ronan didn't have his own channel, he did have a Pandora Online Official (POO) livestream account.
Jennifer watched them like an obsessed cult convert.
She learned that Ronan was someone often tagged to different teams whenever they needed a damage boost.
Or a popularity boost for their livestreamed missions.
When Ronan was in gear, he would be armed with large knives, and sometimes assigned guns or explosives depending on the mission.
Yesterday, he had been armed only with flowers and cake.
And now that Jennifer was watching more closely, it became obvious that the giant roaches on her street were really the weakest alien type.
Other portals had produced far more terrible forms of cockroach-related beings.
Urgh…
One of them was even humanoid—but with those black gelid cockroach eyes, segmented feelers, and mandibles that clicked with a sticky sound—
Urgh.
Let's name those types Shilems.
Hahaha.
They had the same vibe.
Oh.
Was it already dark?
Jennifer blinked at her window.
Then she checked her phone.
7:34 pm.
Wow. It was late.
Her phone battery was also nearly flat.
How long had she been watching Ronan and Dragon videos?
She had even watched his interviews.
Her favourite clip was when one interviewer asked:
"You've been a top ranker for more than ten years now. What is your secret?"
Ronan had answered,
"I was a chef before I was an Awakener. In a commercial kitchen, precise blade work can be practiced. But things like running a team, calling the shots when it gets hot, and having a personal enmity with pests… those only come from experience."
"Enmity with pests?" the interviewer asked, amused.
"There has never been a roach or rat in my kitchen that lived to tell the tale."
Ronan said this darkly.
Then he smiled.
And Jennifer couldn't help but feel it was a very Rolly smile.
The interviewer laughed so blissfully it was obvious she genuinely found Ronan the Dragon witty and charming.
Jennifer made a face.
What a fake laugh.
Just like her hair.
And her makeup.
And—
But she was quite sure that interviewer was genuinely attracted to Ronan the Dragon.
Actually…
So was Jennifer.
Wth.
Wasn't she too old to have a crush on a man in livestream replays?