Narumi Tōru believed he hadn't fallen in love with Yukinoshita Yukino.
First of all, genuinely falling for a game character would be lame. The same applied to people inside a simulation.
Second, he was never particularly sensitive to his own emotions to begin with. Much like how society "assigns" people an appropriate posture to take, forcing them to play along with the expected reactions, Narumi usually chose to display emotions that matched what observers anticipated. Otherwise, he risked being labeled as odd or cold-hearted.
Besides, the special treatment he gave Yukinoshita Yukino was simply because her importance in this future simulation was irreplaceable. A true player would do anything for a perfect score and a flawless clear.
From all of the above, Narumi concluded that he didn't like Yukino romantically. What drove him was merely humanitarian protectiveness and a selfish desire to clear the game perfectly.
Which, unfortunately, made things complicated.
Because after he'd said something that was practically a confession, Yukino's cheeks flushed for the first time — a red she clearly didn't know what to do with.
Yeah… that was running my mouth way too far.
But what if it wasn't that?
One of life's three great delusions: She's into me.
If you actually believe that, you'll only end up humiliating yourself.
At that thought, an old memory suddenly surfaced in Narumi's mind — something from the real world outside the simulation. It was so unbearably embarrassing that he'd long ago locked it away in the deepest drawer of his memories, refusing to ever look at it again.
"...So what was that just now? A confession?"
Yukinoshita Yukino turned her head away, burying her face in the crook of her arms while pretending to stay calm. Her voice wavered despite her attempt to sound casual.
"We haven't even known each other that long, you know? And going after your ex-girlfriend's younger sister… that's kind of low."
"Why are you just assuming that was a love confession?" Narumi shot back.
"...Liking someone, loving someone — what do those even mean anyway?"
The black-haired girl took a deep breath, then slowly let it out through her nose. The rise and fall of her frail body made it hard not to feel concern for her.
"If it's an emotion that binds the other person the way family does… then you could say it's a toxic substance, couldn't you?"
"Huh — didn't expect honor-student Yukino to ask something like that."
Narumi clicked his tongue and tilted his head, rummaging through his mental stockpile for an explanation.
"Love is basically a hallucinogenic drug that makes you happily eat shit and swear it tastes great."
"I thought you'd start with oxytocin or dopamine. Seems I overestimated your knowledge base, senpai."
"Uh… then how about, 'Love is wanting to touch, but pulling your hand back'?"
"Very classic. Also very overused by high schoolers trying to sound deep after copying it somewhere."
"Welp, can't help it~ I honestly don't really know what 'liking someone' is supposed to feel like."
"...What about how you felt when you were dating my sister?"
Yukino fell silent for a moment before asking in a calm tone — though it was clearly something that bothered her.
"Huh? That was just teenage hormones acting up."
At least, that was what the version of Narumi Tōru defined by the simulation believed when the game began. So he stuck with that explanation.
"...I see."
The girl buried her face once more into the blanket draped over her arms, hiding her expression.
"To put it simply, love is just one of those feelings that makes your blood rush to your head and keeps you charging forward until you hit a wall, right?"
In the end, harboring affection for someone begins with deifying them.
Most of the charm a crush holds comes from one's imagination. Love is closer to projecting expectations that may not even exist onto another person. When all is said and done, what people love is often nothing more than a floating illusion they themselves created.
Even knowing all of that perfectly well, Narumi Tōru still couldn't deny the objective fact that Yukinoshita Yukino, as she was now, fit that image better than anyone else.
"As for how I feel about you… it might be more than just that."
Narumi turned to her and said it seriously, meeting Yukino's puzzled gaze head-on.
"I want you to have a better life. To take control of your own future — not live like a sickly canary trapped in that white cage."
"Why would you go that far for me…?"
If it had only been because of Yukinoshita Haruno's request, then for Narumi, regularly visiting the hospital would've already been more than enough.
But this idiot had gone so far as to take Yukino — nearly suffocating under the pressure of her environment — and run away with her, completely unconcerned with how it might affect his own life.
Yukinoshita Yukino genuinely didn't understand him.
"You can't break everything down and dig up a neat little reason for it, can you?"
The curly-haired young man smiled, casually propping up one leg as if this escape were nothing more than a relaxing beach vacation to him.
"There aren't that many 'whys.' I just want to see you smile again. And for that, I might even do something even more unpredictable."
This man was the biggest variable in this miserable simulation.
"...You're an idiot."
Even though her reason told her not to blindly believe everything people said, Yukino realized something.
Even the fact that she was falling for the person in front of her mirrored her sister perfectly.
Mysterious yet sincere. Worldly and smooth, yet oddly reckless and straightforward. Acting like he didn't care about anything, yet willing to offend the Yukinoshita family and run away with her.
It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that Narumi had made Yukino's otherwise unbearable simulation journey far less painful.
"I've thought about ending it all, too."
Having reached her answer, Yukino finally broke her silence. Her deep blue eyes rested on the calm, unmoving sea.
"When I was lying helpless in a hospital bed, watching my body deteriorate. When my mother would unilaterally pour out how hard they were working, how much they were suffering just to cure me. On nights when the pain left me barely able to breathe… Even just now, when I saw this ocean, I thought maybe ending everything here wouldn't be so bad."
Exhausted by constant suffering, she felt that experiencing death once in a simulation might even be a worthwhile experience.
"But whenever I think that way, I can't help remembering—"
She sat up and pulled a metallic object out from beneath her collar.
It was the whistle Narumi had given her earlier.
"If someone promised they'd come to my side the moment I called for help… then maybe it's not so bad to use up that chance first before deciding to give up entirely."
Her pale face broke into a pure, if still slightly awkward, smile.
"Even if we never get to meet again after this… being together right now is enough."
Words spoken as if they were a final farewell.