There on my shoulder was none other than Sheogorath in his cat form but EXTRA fluffy this time. Like So fluffy that you couldn't actually tell that he had a beard because of it.
"You look like a cotton ball with legs." I pointed out.
"Purrrincely, you mean!" he says as his floof blows in the wind.
"Whatever floats your boat. So to what do I owe the unexpected visit this time?" I asked calmly.
"Oh you know how it goes. I get bored, need to entertain myself. So I thinks to meself it be time to party! Can't have a party without the guest of honor though so here I am and there you go!" he said as I suddenly found myself in a grand hall covered in garish decorations in gold and red colors.
"Just going to skip the whole process because you're bored?" I asked a little speechless.
"I have been known to do that." he pointed out.
"Fair enough. I'm hardly dressed for a party though." I say and he chuckled.
He jumped off my shoulder and shifted back to his normal form mid air. With an casual poke of his staff a cloud of pink explodes from me that smells of cheese and sugar. My eyes water and I cough as I cast [gust] to blow away the smoke. I immediately notice that I am not in my robes anymore but a perfectly fitted crimson suit with gold trim work. The shoulders had actual golden curved spikes and the entire thing had neatly stitched crab patterns.-
"Perfect! Now you have the whole ensemble! Hat, boots, suit, all connected and serving as your symbol of office. Those, are, important!" he beamed as he did a little jig around me.
"Symbol of office? What office?" I demanded in horror.
"The office of being my nephew! Important position, everyone wants it but you've got the job!" he said a bit aggressively.
I deadpanned at him "You made that up." I said flatly.
"Ah, you caught me! Well it happens. Still had you going though. Oh the look on your face! Why I think i'll put it on the wall." he said with a cackle as a picture frame with a photo of my horrified expression in it appeared in his hands.
I just shook my head and sighed.
Not that I had time to do much else as the "guests" started to arrive. The first came from a dark shadow that stretched across the floor like thick mud. A light sound echoed from the shadow as a tall almost human looking female figure casually strolled up and out of the shadow. She was hauntingly beautiful with a pale almost grey sheened skin tone and a perfect figure. Her face an impassive thing with two dark eyes that looked at everything with an inscrutable mystery. Her black hair flowed down to her shoulders and on her body a dark purple dress that hugged every curve but covered everything it needed to.-
"Nocty! Lovely to see you as always!" Sheogorath said with a wide grin as he strolled right up to the dark goddess and spun her in a tight embrace before putting her down again.
"Mad one." Nocturnal, lady of luck, mistress of shadows and patron deity of thieves said with an almost amused tone.
"My lady." I said in polite welcome.
"So you are the mortal that has been causing such a fuss? How intriguing." she said as she walked around me with an appraising glance as her finger tips on one hand caressed my shoulder and back as she walked.
"Don't let her mislead you little morsel, she's not actually interested." a new voice spoke up and hundreds of spiders appeared out of nowhere and clumped together before another tall female shape was formed.
The spiders vanished to reveal a dark skinned "Dunmer" woman in a black dress covered in chitin pieces and web patterns.
"Mephy! Heard any juicy gossip lately?" the Mad god asked with a grin.
"Oh you know it." Mephala said with a playful upturn of her lips and a blink of her red eyes, all eight of them.
"Mephala." I said respectfully but with a blunt emphasis on distance.
She clicked her tongue at me "That's no way to treat the patron of your dear Archmage. Why you're practically half an apprentice of mine." she said with a mock wounded expression.
"Lies, sex, murder and secrets. With domains like that I am well within reason to keep you distant." I said flatly.
"You're lucky you're too fun to kill." she huffed with a slight pout.
"Stand ready for my bright glory!" aloud female voice fills the air as it feels like a flashbang went off as light exploded in the center of the room.
"Why is this so much worse than that fucking beacon!?" I cursed as my ears rang and my eyes watered and ached.
By the time I recovered my vision I found myself blinking in confused as a pair of golden clad breasts stood in front of me.
'Hold up, wait a minute.' I thought as my ration mind caught up with reality and I took a few steps back.
Finally I could see the full figure of the one who owned those breasts. She radiated a golden glow and wore a golden ornate feathered battle dress. She had pale golden skin and hair like sunlight that was held in place by a spiked crown of gold with rubies encrusted in it.-
She looked surprisingly like a Nord despite me knowing she actually most closely was associated with the Altmer. She also had an expression of profound judgement as she glared down at me.
"I have been insulted the moment I arrived, apologize mortal and I may spare you." she spoke and a heavy magical weight pressed down on me as if to force me to kneel.
Just as quick as it appeared however it was gone as Sheogorath spoke up.
"Are you threatening my nephew, in my realm?" his tone casual at first but carrying a profound dark weight at the end.
"Are you defending this mortals impertinence? You heard what he said. Am I not to take offense when it was clearly meant?" Meridia, lady of life and infinite energies asked firmly.
"Have a little compassion for the poor mortal. Your arrival was almost enough to be considered an attack on him after all." Mephala tittered with a smile.
"I shan't listen to you of all about compassion, webweaver." Meridia said coldly.
(A/N: I do have a Pat if you would care to read ahead and potentially get a vote on future stories if you choose T2.
pat reon.com/pat reon_loskro
Just remove the spaces.)