Yin Fang's eyes snapped open to an unfamiliar world.
"This has to be a joke!" he shouted at the heavens.
Right in front of him, towering like a mountain with wings, stood a dragon. Its scales gleamed like molten gold, and its eyes glowed with an intelligence that screamed you are already dead.
Yin Fang jabbed his finger upward.
"Holy Chicken Wings! You goddamn author, send me to the beginning already!"
The void around him froze. A voice thundered down.
"DUDE, STOP BREAKING THE GODDAMN FOURTH WALL ALREADY!"
Then darkness.
Yin Fang bolted upright in his bed, drenched in sweat. His heart hammered in his chest, the memory of that dragon still fresh.
"That was probably the worst beginning I've ever had!" he groaned, clutching his head.
Outside, dawn spilled across the orphanage cottage. The simple wooden walls creaked under the morning breeze. Yin Fang sighed.
"Whatever. I'll just go outside for a walk."
He stepped into the sunlight, tilting his head up to the cloudless sky.
"What pleasant weather," he muttered. "At least nothing bad will happ—"
"Zap!"
A lightning bolt slammed straight onto his skull.
"What the actual hell?!" Yin Fang yelped, his hair standing like fried noodles. He coughed smoke, dazed.
"At least… lightning doesn't strike the same place twice, right?"
Another thunderclap.
"Zap!"
Yin Fang twitched on the ground.
"Is this… a tribulation?!" he croaked.
"Zap! Zap! Zap!"
Thirty six consecutive bolts hammered him, each fiercer than the last. By the end, his body lay charred, smoking, and twitching like burnt chicken wings left on a grill.
Silence followed. Birds chirped. The sky cleared.
"Ugh…"
Against all reason, Yin Fang pushed himself upright, his skin still crackling with static.
"I was joking when I said tribulation, you damned author! Don't just—"
A cold, metallic voice cut into his head.
[Hello, Host.]
Yin Fang froze.
"Holy Chicken Fingers—what the hell?!"
[Calm yourself, Host. I am the Beast Evolution System, here to make you stronger.]
"Why me?!"
[You survived thirty six consecutive lightning strikes. Do you think other commoners can do that?]
"…Fair enough." Yin Fang reluctantly nodded.
[You currently have no contracted beast. Please contract one immediately.]
By the time he limped into the academy courtyard, the entrance exam was already underway.
"Alright everyone, please sit down, open the device on your desk, and begin the test," the teacher instructed.
Yin Fang flopped into his seat, opened his exam panel—and nearly choked.
First Question: How do earthworms excrete?
"…WHAT THE CHICKEN TENDER IS WRONG WITH MY DAY?!"
Second Question: If you encountered a python, how would you catch it with your bare hands?
Yin Fang's jaw dropped.
"IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!"
The questions only worsened. Leviathans. Hydras. Catching mythical beasts with a net made of grass. He powered through, swearing internally with every line.
Three exhausting hours later, the teacher clapped his hands.
"Submit your papers."
"Finally!" Yin Fang groaned, dragging himself outside. He collapsed on a bench, eavesdropping on the other students.
"How was your exam?"
"Hardest test ever."
"I swear, it felt like a book of jokes."
Ding!
The huge results screen flickered on. Students scrambled.
"Damn, I'm last again!"
"Fiftieth place isn't too bad…"
Yin Fang opened his profile. His eyes bulged.
"First… place?!"
[Congratulations, Host,] the system chimed smugly.
"How do you know?!"
[Connected to your mind, obviously.]
Yin Fang nearly fell off the bench. He muttered furiously.
"That scared me—I thought everyone would know about my Golden Finger!"
[Host, stop panicking. Proceed to beast selection immediately.]
The academy's beast laboratory loomed across a steel bridge, towering with runed walls and humming machines. At the gate, a mechanical voice scanned him.
"Identity confirmed. Welcome, Junior Tamer Yin Fang. Follow me."
He was led to a massive cage. Inside, a tiny caterpillar squeaked.
"Chi?"
Yin Fang blinked.
"…System, bind!"
Chains of red light erupted, weaving symbols across the air. A six pointed star formed above and below the caterpillar, sealing the contract.
The creature vanished into his consciousness.
[Congratulations, Host. You have successfully contracted… a normal caterpillar.]
Yin Fang grinned despite himself.
"Yes! Finally."
For rich families, beasts meant lions, phoenixes, or serpents. For him, an orphan with nothing, even a caterpillar was a blessing.
Back in his cottage, Yin Fang summoned his partner. A gate flickered open, marked with an hourglass symbol. Out crawled a caterpillar the size of his pinky.
"Hello, little guy!" Yin Fang offered his finger. The caterpillar squeaked happily and climbed on.
"System," Yin Fang asked. "Now what?"
[You may say upgrade to enhance a beast skill, or evolve to transform it.]
Yin Fang frowned. Normal caterpillars had only two pitiful skills: Web Spitting and Intimidate. Still…
"Upgrade—Web Spitting!"
Agony stabbed his skull like needles driven with hammers. Yin Fang clutched his head, screaming.
The caterpillar glowed in white light. When it faded, it looked almost the same.
"Chi! Chi!" it squeaked, bouncing excitedly.
"You feel stronger?" Yin Fang asked.
The bond between tamer and beast carried the answer. Yes.
"Alright—Web Spitting on this paper!"
The caterpillar spat. The web sliced straight through, burning a hole.
"It's stronger…" Yin Fang's eyes lit up. But then he remembered the pain. His grin stiffened.
"If it hurts this much to upgrade a weak skill… what about higher ones? My brain might explode!"
Shuddering at the thought, Yin Fang collapsed into bed. The caterpillar curled up beside a bundle of leaves.