The atmosphere deep within the cavern was dank and bone-chilling. The air hung heavy with the scent of mud and moss, mingled with the fishy stench of the local fauna. Noah trudged along the stone path, slick with slime, guided only by the dim, flickering light of crystals embedded in the cave walls.
"Watch your step, Noah..." Christina whispered a warning, following closely on his heels. "This is Subterranean Worm territory. They like to hide in shallow puddles, waiting for prey to blunder right in."
A freezing chill seeped into Noah's lungs with every breath. He would have traded anything for a shred of warmth. "Let's just hurry up. I'm freezing to death here," the young man urged.
The words had barely left his mouth when Noah, gazing absently at the ceiling, stepped squarely into a crystal-clear puddle. Instantly, a large blue shadow lined with eight grotesque eyes erupted from the water's surface. It spat a mysterious liquid straight at the young man with full force.
"Cough! Cough! Damn it! What is this stuff? It's so salty!" Noah cursed, wiping his face. An astringent taste lingered on the tip of his tongue, and the fine hairs all over his body stood on end in sheer repulsion.
"Hahaha! Serves you right!" Christina laughed heartily, walking over to slap him on the back with gusto. "That's diluted digestive fluid! These worms spit water to mark their prey, or sometimes just to... make them suffer from the cold... Look, isn't it cute with those eight eyes? It's staring at you like a puppy begging for treats!"
Noah looked at the blue worm, which was wiggling repulsively, and sneezed loudly.
"Cute my ass! Stop the commentary and keep moving, you crazy woman!" He quickly dragged the eccentric swordswoman away from the scene.
____
Finally, they reached a warmer zone. It wasn't that Noah was particularly sensitive to the cold, but some monsters offered nothing but annoyance. As the ceiling began to lower, forcing them to stoop as they walked, Noah noticed Christina acting strangely.
She tilted her head back, mouth agape. Her pink tongue lolled out slightly, resting on her lower lip. Her eyes were glazed and heavy-lidded, gazing upward as if she were worshipping a holy deity—looking pleading, yet creepily serene. Suddenly, a cloudy, viscous droplet fell.
Splat... A glob of thick white liquid dripped from a stalactite, landing in her mouth with pinpoint accuracy. Christina closed her mouth, swallowing slowly, eyes shut in bliss as she licked the white slime coating her lips.
"What the hell are you doing?" Noah asked, his face scrunching up in disgust.
"This is Cave Dew..." Christina explained, using a finger to wipe the white liquid from the corner of her mouth and suck it off. The young man watched her lick her gauntlet with dead eyes. "It's a colony of microorganisms. A top-tier protein source, excellent for mana recovery. Humans can consume it too, you know. Rapid absorption, and it makes your skin glow."
He didn't know if he was just being paranoid, but it sounded incredibly suspicious.
Because in Noah's eyes, the image of that thick, sticky white fluid lingering on the woman's mouth... looked exactly like a man's semen.
"Want some?" Christina teased, leaning her face closer. "Try a little. It'll make you strong."
"Hell no! That's disgusting! Go eat it somewhere else!" Noah refused instantly, turning to leave.
"My, my... I know what dirty thoughts you're thinking..." Christina narrowed her eyes, a sly smile playing on her lips, causing the young man's eyebrow to twitch. "You think it looks like that, don't you... In that case, you definitely have to try it! So you'll know what the taste of a real man is like!"
In a flash, Christina closed the distance. Her slender hand clamped onto the back of Noah's neck tightly, and she leaned her beautiful, sharp features in to plant a deep kiss on him before he could react.
"Mmphhh!!"
Noah's eyes widened. He felt soft, yielding lips and the searing heat pressing against him. A hot tongue intruded, intertwining with his... directly transferring the viscous, milky sludge from her mouth into his.
This was not the romantic first kiss he had dreamed of. Noah wanted to cry right then and there.
For a split second, his brain short-circuited. Her softness and fragrant scent made him momentarily swoon. His heart skipped a beat. But the next second... the taste was absolutely atrocious.
It was like eating rotten raw fish mixed with latex glue. The fishy stench shot up his nose until it was unbearable.
"Ugh... Cough! Blaaaargh!!"
The moment they broke apart, Noah retched, vomiting his entire breakfast. Tears streamed down his face.
"Hahaha! So weak! Don't like Mommy's kiss, little boy?" Christina laughed with satisfaction, seductively licking the remaining white stains from her own lips. "It's such good stuff, too. Do you know how much the nobility pays to get their hands on this? It's a high-grade aphrodisiac! Some even believe it improves endurance."
Noah raised a hand in total defeat, waving her off as if to say, Please, just eat it by yourself.
____
After Noah had rinsed his mouth until it was clean (though the fishy smell lingered in his nose), the pair walked deeper until they reached a wide, dark cavern hall.
"Listen, Noah..." Christina returned to her serious, expert mode, though the glint in her eyes was annoying. "Ahead lies the territory of the Super Slime. It's a special variant with four legs, larger than a carriage. Its skin has near 100% physical resistance. Swords won't cut it, bludgeons won't dent it. The only way is to use magic to blast its core."
Noah listened with half an ear, his eyes glazed over, thoughts drifting far away.
This woman... she's definitely thinking something lewd. She's imagining that four-legged slime has some colorful rod with sticky slime to do that kind of thing... Noah felt a pang of resentment that she chose to ignore his own manhood.
"And most importantly..." Christina continued, her voice beginning to tremble, her breath hitching. Her eyes shone with a dangerous light. "Researchers say the reproductive organ of the Super Slime... has a rough texture, bumpy like a premium-grade adult toy... If one were to take that..."
"There it is. I knew it..." Noah sighed heavily, massaging his temples in pain. "We should leave this woman here as slime food and go find a new mother who is kind, strong, and more normal than this... She might just be the weakest and most useless person in the city."
The insult seemed to prick her tiny shred of dignity. Christina felt the need to get serious to prove herself to the young man.
"Hey! I heard that!" Christina shrieked at him. "Hmph! Mommy can handle a mere slime with ease! Just watch!"
She tossed her head and marched confidently into the darkness... until the light from the crystals illuminated the colossal figure blocking their path.
"B... Big..."
Christina's voice faded into a trembling whisper. Her slender legs beneath the armor began to shake.
"...And it's black, too."
Before them stood a gigantic mass of pitch-black jelly. It lacked the translucency of a normal slime; instead, it was as dark as a black hole, ready to devour everything. It was a Super Black Slime, a rare monster harder to find than a needle in a haystack, and known for being twice as ferocious.
Dozens of massive black tentacles extended from its body. Each one was coated in clear slime that dripped to the ground, hissing Sizzle... like corrosive acid.
Christina stood frozen, her eyes fixed on those tentacles... Pity that monster. It was created to be terrifying, not to make widows salivate.
"Don't force yourself, Christina..." Noah walked up beside her, patting her shoulder with pity. "Just accept your weakness... You should just go home, spread your legs on a soft bed, and prepare to be a broodmare. Waiting to get bred is all you're good for." Noah himself was dying to be her first guest.
"W... What did you say!" Christina bit her lip hard, her face flushing red all the way to her ears.
"It's just like I said..." Noah shrugged, pointing at the pitch-black slime. "Leave it to the men... But look at your face... that look of regret."
Christina puffed out her cheeks petulantly.
"Mommy is just heartbroken over losing that super-rare, pitch-black shaft, aren't you? ... Something like that appears maybe once in a hundred thousand. A girth like that, a shade of black that deep... Admit it, you were dying to let it impale you just once. You just wanted to know how tight and full it would feel inside your womb, didn't you?"
Christina gripped the hilt of her sword tightly, tears welling up in her eyes. Her expert demeanor shattered instantly. Her fiery red hair seemed to dull with the feeling of wasted potential. Noah only hoped she didn't actually want to mate with that monster.
"I can handle something like this!!" She shouted, voice cracking, even as her legs knocked together. "I'm just... I'm just regretting the waste of natural res
ources!! ...Sniff... It's such a rare item... I'll probably never see it again in this lifetime..."