....
I am utterly and truly ruined.
That is the conclusion I have reached after deep, agonizing deliberation.
I am finished.
It is a different sense of being 'ruined' compared to standing before Muzan or Yoriichi, but that is my conclusion nonetheless.
Now that I think about it, does this not look exactly like a man being caught in an illicit affair?
Why did I not realize they were approaching?
To be fair, I was not in my right mind either, having embraced a woman I had only just met for the first time.
How much did they see?
If they only saw from the middle of it, I might have been able to offer some sort of explanation.
"You were embracing her quite flamboyantly, weren't you?"
"...I am sorry."
Blast it all. They saw from the very beginning.
Uzui's sharp, edged voice cornered me even further.
How did this happen?
Having reached the Transparent World, there is no way I should have failed to notice the presence of Uzui and Amano...
Could it be?
Was my concentration slightly disturbed by the prolonged exposure to Tamayo's Blood Demon Art?
'You have... a long way... to go... Michikatsu... Keep... striving...'
Shut your mouth.
.....
My thoughts began to accelerate.
Just as when I face Muzan or Yoriichi, the Score began to be etched within my mind.
In front of me were a furious Uzui and Amano, and beside me stood Tamayo.
How could I possibly navigate this situation?
From the perspective of Uzui and Amano, the man they had spent the entire night with had just been caught cheating with another woman.
The fault lies entirely with me.
Would it be faster to simply close my eyes and commit seppuku?
I wonder... if a Demon's manhood grows back if it's cut off?
Just as I was entertaining such absurd worries.
"This person has done nothing wrong."
Tamayo-san stepped forward to defend me.
Every eye focused on Tamayo, but she seemed completely unperturbed.
Good. If only Tamayo-san explains things well.
However.
"Young lady, what exactly is your relationship with Michikatsu-dono?"
"It is a relationship where we utilize one another."
"Oh?"
My hopes were shattered into a thousand pieces.
A relationship where we utilize one another.
Ah, it is not technically incorrect.
But that is hardly a suitable choice of words for an explanation...
And you condensed the conversation far too much, Lady Tamayo.
I simply lowered my head in defeat.
@@@
Seeing me with my head bowed, Uzui's next words were that she wished to speak with me alone.
Amano wanted to speak with Tamayo privately. Despite the potential danger, Tamayo agreed as if it mattered little to her.
Uzui told me to follow, and I complied silently.
What choice did I have? I was the one at fault.
After walking for a short while, we arrived at a familiar place.
This is....
A wave of nostalgia washed over me as I surveyed our surroundings.
This was the very place where, ten years ago, I first learned the Score from Uzui.
The place where I had suffered and struggled while practicing Sun Breathing for three years.
They say ten years can change even the mountains and rivers, but this place remained largely unchanged.
"Do you remember this place, Young Master?"
Uzui spoke, turning back to look at me.
"How could I forget? This is where you drove me to the brink of exhaustion."
Ugh, the trauma.
I felt goosebumps prickle across my arms.
I was pushed until I could read the Score, and I spent my days running relentlessly, forcing myself to use Sun Breathing—which did not suit my body—at all times, right up until I developed Moon Breathing.
Well, had it not been for those days, I surely would have met a miserable end long ago.
She sat down beneath a tree, and I took my place beside her.
I did not know what she wanted to say, but...
"I am sorry, Uzui."
From her perspective, it must have felt like a profound betrayal. I resolved to accept whatever she had to say.
"Young Master."
"Yes."
"I have never told you about what happened in my clan, have I?"
Contrary to my expectations, the words that left her lips were entirely different.
Her clan?
She surely did not mean my family.
"Do you mean the Uzui clan?"
At my question, Uzui nodded slowly.
Come to think of it...
"No, you haven't."
She had identified herself as a shinobi, but she had never breathed a word about her past.
She had never seemed the type to want to talk about it either.
"I told you long ago, Young Master... about my ability to adjust my skeletal structure. You were only the second person I had ever shown that to."
That's right.
It was ten years ago, so my memory was not perfectly clear, but she had certainly said something to that effect.
"The first were my father and my older brother. My reason for showing them was simple. It was merely a child's foolish pride, wanting praise from my cold father and wanting to boast a little to my brother."
I looked at Uzui's face.
Her expression was blank, but her eyes held a bitter shadow.
The atmosphere was exactly like when I had first met her.
"That was my undoing."
Her undoing?
"My brother, who had been so close to me, began to envy and hate me. My cold father no longer saw me as his child. To him, because of that ability, I was merely a blade that cut better—nothing more, and nothing less."
An older brother jealous of a talented sibling. A father who did not view his child as human.
"My brother tried to kill me, and my father turned a blind eye. That is why I deserted the clan."
"And so you wandered, until you joined my clan. As a kagemusha."
Uzui nodded at my response.
To be born as a female shinobi in the Sengoku period... a father who did not view people as people, and an elder brother who tried to murder his own kin out of jealousy.
In an age where the rights of inheritance almost always belonged to the eldest son, she would have had no one on her side.
"It seems your life has been far from flamboyant."
"Yes."
I did not know why she was choosing this moment to confess her past.
But walking through this world with no one on your side is a truly sorrowful thing.
Even Yoriichi had people. This woman had nothing.
The reason she had not looked down upon Yoriichi like the other servants was likely because she felt a sense of kinship with him, seeing someone in a situation similar to her own.
"When I first saw that woman, Tamayo, I felt a sense of relief. Because she is a Demon."
I had never told her that Tamayo was a Demon.
Did she hear it from Amano? Amano can use the Transparent World, after all.
"She and I are not in that kind of..."
"I felt relieved at the thought that, when you live through eternity, at least someone would remain by your side, Young Master."
.....
I was speechless.
Immortality.
Living forever.
Alone.
I had never given such profound thought to the concept of eternal life.
From a life cut short by the Slayer Mark, I had become a Demon, now fated to live forever.
What was the reason I had been so indifferent to my own short lifespan?
Was it not because there was no reason to live long in this boring Sengoku period, devoid of any real entertainment?
Even if I died, Yoriichi was there to handle matters regarding Muzan, so I could have passed on with a peaceful mind.
But Yoriichi cannot kill Muzan.
Ultimately, I am the only existence in the current world capable of clashing head-on with Muzan.
Of course, I have no intention of sustaining myself by eating human flesh.
I can live just as well on regular meat, even if it does not make me stronger.
Still, I will not die of old age, and unless I lose control, I have no intention of committing suicide by the sun.
Unless Tamayo succeeds in creating a medicine to return a Demon to a human, I will live an eternal life, just as Uzui said.
That means Yoriichi, Uta, Uzui, and Amano will all die before me.
While I remain unchanged, they will die—whether of old age, injury, illness, or the short life fated by the Mark. They will all leave this world before I do.
And I will be the one to watch their final moments.
In that way, I will be left alone.
No matter what bonds I form in the future, eventually...
I will be alone.
Immortality is not simply living forever.
It is everyone else except you dying.
.....
The thought that everyone I know will leave me behind.
"That... is a bit unpleasant."
The reality of it had not truly sunk in yet.
But somehow, I felt afraid.
"I have no intention of nagging you about who you might meet in the future, Young Master, but..."
Uzui looked at me, as if she were reading my very thoughts.
"Still, regardless..."
She brought her face dangerously close to mine.
"I am your kagemusha, after all."
She thrust her tongue into my mouth, tangling it with mine.
The sudden sensation shocked me, but I could not bring myself to struggle, for fear of accidentally hurting her.
All I could do was tightly grip the dirt of the ground beneath me.
When she finally pulled away, a thin, glistening thread connected our tongues.
My first kiss—something we had not even done when we shared a bed.
"To act flamboyantly, and to hide thoroughly—that is my motto."
Uzui watched my stunned expression from the kiss and continued with a faint, subtle smile.
"May I bite your tongue?"
My mind was reeling from her sudden tempo, but I barely managed to regain my senses.
What on earth is she saying?
No.
That is plagiarism!
I shook my head to refuse, but Uzui gave a small smirk.
"This is your punishment."
"No—"
Ignoring my protest, she once again forced her tongue into my mouth.
And then.
!!!!!!
A sharp pain flared in my tongue.
A metallic, bloody scent swirled within my mouth.
As if drinking the blood from my bitten tongue, Uzui's throat moved with a deep, rhythmic gulp.
A first kiss received after 17+20 years of life.
It was not the sweet sensation people often spoke of; it was incredibly painful and tasted of iron.
But for some reason, it did not feel entirely bad.