With the roosters making their rounds, I slowly stirred awake. My memories of the night before were hazy, or rather, I don't actually remember anything other than when I was talking to Anathasia about the book she was reading.
Something was missing, but everytime I tried to reach past it, all I got was the memory of Anathasia pushing me down. So I stopped trying.
Slowly opening my eyes, I rested the back of my hand on my forehead, staring at the ceiling, that was when I felt someone slowly stir awake beside me.
I slowly turned to see who it was, and as expected, it was her. But why does it look like the camisole she wore before we slept was gone? Her eyes fluttered open, still sleepy as they met mine.
Where are her clothes...?
I thought to myself while watching her lips curving into a soft smile directed at me. Her hand made its way to my cheek, cupping it gently.
"Athy..." I murmured, mirroring her sleepy smile. "Where are your clothes?" I gently asked, putting my hand over hers.
She paused, then slowly pulled her hand back, her warmth fading from my cheek, and adjusted the thin sleeve of her camisole before lifting the sheets to show she was still wearing something.
"It's right here," she replied, voice drowsy. "Did you think I slept beside you naked? I'm not that shameless, you know?"
"And for the record, I'm not a pervert. So whatever you were thinking... that's on you." she added, hitting the bullseye effortlessly.
I couldn't argue with that, but still... I had my own pride to defend as well.
"Well... if you weren't so suggestive I wouldn't have-" my words faltered before I could finish. That was supposed to be a retort, but came out softly instead.
"Alright, that's my bad, okay?" I sighed, the first day of our field trip just started, and it's already like this...
Then she chuckled, finding amusement at my expense. How typical.
"It's fine, I was just poking fun, alright? C'mere." She gently pulled me close, letting my face nestle against her chest, which I tried really hard not to be too conscious of, since I couldn't bring myself to reject her touch. It's not like this was the first time she held me like this... so I was more or less used to it now. Or at least, I told myself I was.
Either way, I slowly wrapped my arms around her, my hands gently resting on her back while I felt her fingers gently ruffle my hair. It was perfect, absolutely perfe—
"Mr. Abe, Miss Dunaleff, it's time for breakfa... oh..."
I immediately pulled my face out of Anathasia's chest and sat up, my eyes widening as I looked at our class president, Alexandria, suddenly walk in on us.
"Prez, it's not what you think-!"
"N...no... I understand... I apologize if I bothered you, please don't mind me...!" she exclaimed, then turned back before slamming the door behind her. Visibly flustered.
"I'm screwed..." I murmured.
All the while, Anathasia slowly sat up behind me, rubbing her eyes before innocently asking:
"Who was that?"
I groaned, dragging a hand on my face before turning to her and forcing a smile.
"Nothing...? Don't worry, prez won't spread any rumors..." I said, reaching over to pat her head. "I hope."
---
This and that happened. As expected, word got out about that compromising position the president found us in. But for some reason, the professors and other instructors accepted my explanation immediately.
Of course, that was good. But what's strange was the part where they didn't even reprimand me for it. Even the strict professor who usually kicked me out of his class didn't say a word.
Something had shifted,vlike someone, or something, turned down their ability to question things.
I sighed, thinking back on everything that unfolded this morning: the gossip, the constant sharp stares, some judgemental, some pitying. And even Noah jumped into the chaos saying things like, "Man, I didn't think you'd actually have the guts to cross that line... in a field trip too no less." and whatever nonsense he kept adding after that.
But that's not what happened!
I was just cuddling with her! Cuddling!
I mean, sure, I get why they'd assume the worst. A boy and a girl, left alone in a room. It makes total sense something might happen. But that doesn't mean I'm just going to let a rumor like that spread without a fight.
And now here I was, trailing behind Anathasia while we walked along the city boulevard. She was humming some soft, unfamiliar tune, something I'd never heard before yet weirdly comforting by. Naturally, she was completely unfazed by what had happened earlier.
Must be nice, not caring about all that stuff...
"What was the point of this field trip again...?" I muttered to myself.
"Wasn't the whole reason for this thing centered around learning more about Rizal's life and the country's history?" Anathasia suddenly answered, stopping just ahead of me before turning around with her hands behind her back.
Did she hear that? Her hearing's insane...
Oh right, she's not exactly human. That explains it.
"Yeah... I guess." My gaze drifted off to the sea on our left, the waves catching the afternoon light. Eventually, I found my eyes returning to her.
No matter how I looked at her, she really was beautiful. Her white hair flowing in a way that felt almost too otherworldly for this place, her mannerisms soft and sometimes clumsy, cute in a way she probably didn't realize, and occasionally unreasonable in ways I still didn't fully understand.
And every time I saw her like this, I couldn't help but wonder: why me?
Why choose me out of all people?
It's not like I'm anything special. I don't have any qualities that stand out, nothing worth choosing.
I've never believed in fate or destiny. The whole idea of "perfect partners" or "soulmates" always seemed like nonsense to me, flimsy concepts that fall apart the moment you examine them too closely.
It didn't make sense. It never did. So I never let myself even consider the possibility of her seeing me that way. Sure, she's comfortable around me, but how long will that last? When she gets bored, she'll probably leave.
And she isn't human. That alone makes it even less likely.
I trust her, maybe more than I should, but I don't even know what I actually want. She told me she only wanted to understand. Once she does, I doubt she'd even hesitate to disappear from my life.
Yeah, I shouldn't get too attached.
Everything's just temporary anyway, nothing lasts.
I just had to stay by her side while she's here. I don't need to get attached, that way, I don't have to deal with unnecessary heartache when the time comes.
---
...
This morning was chaotic, yes. The misunderstanding has been cleared up to an extent. But... why is he strangely quiet?
...
He's doubting himself. The boy I've been watching for months now... looks torn.
That subtle tightening of his jaw, the way his eyes seemed to search for something like reassurance from me, the way his shoulders slumped but tries his best not to show it.
Something flickered in my chest, something tight and unfamiliar.
Is this... Pain? The byproduct of loving someone of caring too deeply?
Wait, love?
I should be above this. I must be.
He shouldn't look at me like that.
Not like he's expecting me to leave.
I don't plan on leaving.
I want to comfort him.
But... I suppose it isn't that simple.
I have already dealt with this during the first few chapters, but something, even with my absolute authority, my omniscience over all possible narratives couldn't pinpoint, was telling me it wasn't the same.
For the first time during the entirety of my existence... this is the first time I have encountered such...
Is this the price I must pay for involving myself within a story?
His story?
Something that isn't bound by the fundamental laws, something that naturally manifests within oneself's consciousness.
This... feeling, something I can't seem to control...
How ironic... I can shape fates, weave threads that hold universes, rewrite laws, decide the structure of stories, manipulate plot as I see fit...
But when it comes to the matters of the heart, I'm completely powerless?
Powerless because it isn't written.
This is real.
I only yearned to understand... yet, why can I feel?