I opened the wrapper with a hopeful heart,
Thinking this snack was a work of art.
"It's healthy!" they said, "It's good for the brain,"
But one little bite and I'm crying in pain.
Where is the sugar? Where is the soul?
This tastes like a piece of burnt garden coal.
It's eighty percent of pure, concentrated gloom,
Like eating a shadow in a very dark room.
My tongue is confused, my teeth are in shock,
Did I just bite into a cocoa-flavored rock?
They say it has "notes of a berry or fruit,"
But I only taste the dirt of a very old root.
I try to look fancy, sophisticated, and wise,
While holding back tears in my widening eyes.
"Oh, the depth! The aroma!" I lie to my friends,
While wishing this bitter ordeal quickly ends.
I reach for the milk, I reach for a sweet,
To wash off the taste of this "natural" treat.
Oh, Dark Chocolate, you're a trick and a snare,
Give me Dairy Milk back, if you actually care!