Is This Chat Group Serious? — by Yilao Yizhi
Updated: 2026-02-17 21:00:21
The sheer volume of information hit the group like a truck.
The chat fell dead silent.
Then everyone started spamming messages like their keyboards were on fire.
[Giant Daifuku (Tsunade): Hah! So that's what it was! I knew Shizune's been acting weird lately—always wanting to squeeze onto the same bed with me, and sometimes she'll half-asleep mumble "Mom…" once or twice… (facepalm-cry-laugh.jpg)]
Tsunade shot a helpless look at Shizune, who was currently clinging to her arm and refusing to let go.
[Sporty Lunchbox (Rin): AHHHH! That explains it! I knew it! (epiphany high-five.jpg)
This morning I tore through my drawers looking for a sports bra, tried on one after another, and every single one felt too tight—so tight my chest felt like it was being squeezed shut!
I seriously thought the clothes had shrunk! (ecstatic.jpg)]
Rin planted her hands on her hips and puffed out her chest.
In the mirror, the sports bra was stretched taut, outlining curves that were noticeably fuller than yesterday.
Blessings from above!
But the next second, her joy froze solid, like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over her head.
[Sporty Lunchbox (Rin): Uh… wait… (face gradually turns horrified.jpg)
That "growth" side effect from Ominous Premonition… it doesn't just keep increasing forever, does it?! (trembling finger.jpg)
Wouldn't that make it a one-time item you can only use a few times?!
I don't want to become a walking two-mountains catastrophe!!! (soul leaving body.jpg)]
In the mirror, Rin's face went pale in an instant. Panic spread through her eyes like wildfire.
Eisen saw her message and sucked in a sharp breath. Cold sweat broke out on his back.
In the First Flame world, he'd operated in a female body before—but deep down, he'd always been male. He had never seriously thought through how catastrophic this "side effect" could become.
He immediately got serious and @'d the assistant.
[Group Leader (Eisen): @Group Assistant — Does the Ominous Premonition side effect increase cup size with no upper limit?]
[Group Assistant: Once the user reaches the "optimal" size for their world's mainstream aesthetics and their body type, further growth is stored as a reserve that can be freely drawn upon or withdrawn. However, if the user is already above that "optimal" threshold, the effect will not reduce it.]
Eisen let out a long breath. The lump of dread in his stomach finally unclenched.
The moment the assistant's reply appeared, four messages snapped onto the screen in perfect formation:
[Purple Taro (Kafka): God.]
[Sporty Lunchbox (Rin): God.]
[Roasted Eggplant (Mash): God.]
[Classic Lunchbox (Sakiko): God.]
Even Kafka couldn't help feeling that the "Repressed Chat Group" looked a little more… tolerable now. And somehow, her nickname didn't feel quite as eye-searingly awkward anymore.
[Giant Daifuku (Tsunade): Do you really need to freak out that much?]
Tsunade scratched at her hair, completely unable to empathize with the "normal-sized" members.
On one hand, she had a very clear self-assessment: she was probably already beyond the Naruto world's so-called "optimal" size. After all these years, she hadn't met anyone bigger.
Maybe she was the ceiling of the entire ninja world.
On the other hand, in the Elemental Nations, the Transformation Technique was literally basic training. She'd used it all the time to dodge debt collectors and run scams, and on infiltration missions it was practically routine.
After the initial wave of euphoria, Mash spoke up with indignation:
[Roasted Eggplant (Mash): But the side effects tied to me and the group leader are still way too much! We're both completely serious people! (puffed-cheeks.jpg)]
[Group Leader (Eisen): Exactly! When I first found out, I was stunned for ages! (sweat.jpg)]
Eisen practically latched onto the complaint like it was a life raft, agreeing with the energy of an innocent man who'd finally found his people—every word dripping with wronged outrage, as if those ridiculous side effects were purely the system's warped logic and had absolutely nothing to do with his pure, blameless soul.
Kafka slowly lifted her gaze from the screen and looked at Eisen—sitting bolt upright, eyes drifting anywhere but her.
She remembered him calmly watching her change; misreading her words and insisting on cleaning her feet; casually collecting her discarded boots and hosiery like it was normal…
Kafka put on a smile that was awkward but impeccably polite.
Over the top?
Really?
Eisen's scalp prickled. He looked away even harder.
Then Sakiko joined the denunciation.
[Classic Lunchbox (Sakiko): Even if the side effect has nothing to do with my personality, I still feel a deep, personal malice in it.]
The "split-self" item's side effect was that it made her seem soft and easy to bully.
It was basically a summary of the last few months of her life—stumbling forward, getting beaten down by reality again and again. To her, it felt malicious to the core.
Rin snapped out of her panic and immediately piled on too:
[Sporty Lunchbox (Rin): Yeah! This chat group either makes stuff up out of nowhere or digs up your black history! I already said I'm never going back into the Hollows again! (huffy.jpg)]
The discussion around side effects became loud and lively, complaints and sarcasm flying nonstop.
Eisen and Kafka exchanged a look. They both saw the same surprise in the other's eyes.
This reaction was way milder than the anger or backlash they'd expected.
The reason wasn't hard to guess.
First: everyone was still in the dark—they didn't actually know what their assigned nicknames truly implied.
Second—and most importantly: the power the group items provided was simply too enormous. Compared to that, the "side effects" felt… trivial.
The other four weren't like Kafka, who basically had no real need for group items and could afford to feel that the whole mess was useless and ridiculous.
Rin's life had been saved by Ominous Premonition.
Sakiko awakened her Persona through the Willpower Glasses, allowing her to enter the cognitive world and find a sliver of hope for her father—who'd been sinking into despair.
Mash saw clues and a direction for solving her artificial lifespan problem through the probability split-self.
And Tsunade? She shook off her depression completely and was already planning to use the Word-Speech item's power to unify the chaotic ninja world at minimal cost—and end the wars.
Compared to benefits that could rewrite fate, the side effects were almost… "spicy flavoring."
Tsunade didn't think it was a big deal.
Mash's "complaint" was really just embarrassment.
Rin and Sakiko felt like their "black history" had been dragged into daylight, and it was hard to cope.
And once they learned the "growth" side effect was controllable, the women in the group basically responded with:
You've listed the benefits—so where's the downside?
This is supposed to be bad?
They were one step away from typing "worth it" straight into the chat.
Of course, part of that was simply because it hadn't been long—they hadn't yet personally experienced the more intrusive ways side effects could show up, the way Kafka and Eisen already had.
As for whether they'd stay this relaxed in the future…
Eisen and Kafka were both skeptical.
Eventually, the emergency discussion cooled.
Since nobody raised any serious objections, the chat drifted into a few casual lines—and then, one by one, everyone's attention returned to their real lives.
For now, the chain reaction triggered by Eisen's gift—the crystal wardrobe—finally came to an end.
"It's quiet again."
Eisen rubbed his slightly throbbing temples. His body and mind were perfectly fine, but emotionally he still felt drained.
Then he turned to Kafka.
"I want to ask you something."
"Mm?" Kafka gave a lazy little hum.
"Sam's Entropy Loss Syndrome… in Elio's original script, was it important?"
He thought of the girl with a flaw in her very existence.
Kafka blinked, then replied with a hint of helplessness:
"My dear group leader… what 'script' is left? Didn't you rewrite it into something completely unrecognizable?"
After the tease, her expression sobered.
"Honestly, in Elio's original plan, the option 'Firefly's Entropy Loss Syndrome gets cured' never existed."
"Because anyone or any faction capable of curing it either wouldn't act… or Firefly herself would refuse."
"Refuse?" Eisen frowned hard.
"Didn't she join the Stellaron Hunters to cure it? To live?"
He remembered Kafka had implied the Hunters weren't particularly invested in the "script" itself. They gathered because Elio promised that, as the script advanced, each of them would get what they wanted.
Eisen had assumed survival was Firefly's core desire.
"That's the surface reason," Kafka sighed.
"Firefly has fully stepped onto the Path of Propagation. She does want to live—truly. But for her, there's something even deeper than survival."
Kafka's gaze seemed to pass through the wall, toward the girl inside the armor.
"What she fears more is dying alone. Quietly. Unnoticed. Unmourned."
Her eyes returned to Eisen.
"She's already accepted the Stellaron Hunters as a small home. And those organizations that truly have the power to help her…"
Kafka paused, and her tone carried a faint edge of mockery.
"Without exception, they're all on the opposite side of the Stellaron Hunters."
Eisen's face turned strange as a slightly ironic conclusion formed.
"So… by joining the Stellaron Hunters in the first place, she actually reduced her chances of being cured?"
"You can't put it that simply," Kafka said, smiling faintly—an expression like the Mona Lisa, impossible to read.
"Those organizations would only extend a hand because they want Firefly's value as a Stellaron Hunter—her capability, her intel."
"If Firefly hadn't joined the Hunters…"
Kafka didn't finish the sentence. She simply looked at Eisen, letting the implication hang.
Firefly's personal value, on its own, probably wouldn't be enough to move those giants.
"So…" Eisen summarized slowly.
"If I don't intervene—whether Firefly joins the Hunters or not—her syndrome is doomed to remain unsolved?"
"In the past, yes." Kafka nodded.
"And if I cure her," Eisen said, rising and walking to the window to stare into the stars, "what changes?"
Kafka's tone turned light again, almost languid.
"Right now, what Elio wants to observe is the variable you brought. Whether we act or don't act—it's all part of the new 'script.'"
She paused, then her eyes softened slightly.
"If you cure Firefly… with her personality, she might temporarily join the Astral Express to go find her 'Star.'"
When she said that name, a faint tenderness slipped into her voice.
"The two of them have always been very, very close."
"The Trailblazer?" Eisen's mind flashed to the figure Elio had labeled as the protagonist.
"Where is she now… on Jarilo-VI?"
"Yeah." Kafka tilted her head, looking at him with mild confusion.
"Why? Are you interested in that frozen planet?"
Eisen didn't answer immediately. He rubbed his chin, lost in thought.
Jarilo-VI's Supreme Guardian—Cocolia Rand.
A leader at the edge of extinction. A woman who couldn't reverse her world's impending doom, who had once teetered on despair and nearly embraced the Stellaron completely.
In a universe where civilizations were a dime a dozen and Emanators were everywhere, someone like her was—on the cosmic scale—ordinary. Forget "key piece"; she barely qualified as a pawn.
But.
If you measured her against the worlds of the chat group members…
Her presence became terrifying.
A ruthless ruler with total control of an entire planetary civilization.
Her will was Belobog's highest law. No one dared question her—let alone disobey.
She could coldly seal off and abandon the Underworld without hesitation, and the people below couldn't even organize meaningful resistance.
Under the Stellaron's whispers and the pressure of life-or-death survival, her political instincts and willpower had been forged into something genuinely frightening. Cold decisions and iron-handed rule came as naturally as breathing.
Within her domain, she was a terrifying political organism—nearly omnipotent.
And after the "Mirror" incident, her understanding and manipulation of human desire and hearts had likely risen to a completely new level.
At the "surface civilization" tier, Cocolia Rand was absolute domination.
A plan rapidly took shape in Eisen's mind.
He turned back to Kafka.
"You don't have anything urgent to do right now, do you?"
Kafka arched an elegant brow, waiting.
"After I cure Firefly, she'll probably go find her Star immediately."
"Then we can swing by Jarilo-VI."
"To do what?" Kafka asked.
"To see if, after the Supreme Guardian stages a reasonable 'death'…"
"…we can invite her to a place where her talents are better used."
He smiled slightly.
"Like… one of our members' worlds."
Wishing everyone a Happy New Year~
Join here to read ahead.
In Star Rail, Ultra-Beast Armored — Have I Caught "Equilibrium"? l (Chapter 80)
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