". . . If I win this bet, what do I get?"
I'm really curious.
He shoved his hand into the toilet and revealed what I was going to win.
"You're going to win what many people want, but few achieve: a round-trip ticket to the coolest place that exists."
"Seriously? What place?"
I asked with a happy expression. No one has ever given me anything.
"To hell."
I jumped at his neck.
"How about you go?"
"It's a joke. If you pull it off, I'll set you up on a date."
"A date?"
"Yes."
"What's the girl like?"
"A true muse. Look at this photo."
I saw the photo and took it.
"Let me analyze it."
Hmm . . .
"A bit short."
"Do you accept?"
I don't know . . .
"My brother Altus, if I had known you kept contact with beautiful girls like the one in that photo, I wouldn't have insulted you. Please accept my sincere apologies."
He put his right arm over my shoulder and said:
"Isn't she a beautiful girl? I'd marry her, but my schedule is packed—ah, you don't have that."
I took the photo and ripped it.
"I'm not blind. This is a scarecrow."
When he saw me ripping the photo, he panicked.
"Don't destroy Florentina's photo! You have no idea what I did to get that picture."
"Stop stalling. Let's get straight to the plan. I'll do what you want, so maybe you'll finally leave me alone."
How do the girls let this idiot live here?
"Follow me to Xi's room."
". . ."
"We're here."
I looked through the keyhole.
"That's her room. It's a normal room."
Why did he step back?
"What a perfect girl."
"This is not the time to read hentai," I scolded him.
"What do you mean it's not time to read this treasure? I spent months without bathing, but I never stopped valuing every moment with my hentais."
Now I know where that rotten-potato smell comes from.
"Do you have the key?"
Of course he won't have it, because Xi would never let—
"Clink." The jingle of a key echoed down the hallway.
Why does he have the key?
"How does someone like you have the key?"
"Someone like me? I won't reveal my methods. A god doesn't explain himself too much."
Saint patience.
"I trust you, Dorian."
"What did you say?" I got distracted opening the door.
"Nothing."
I pushed the door just enough to peek inside. It's a little dark. I can only see Xi lying on something near the window, lit by moonlight.
The moment I stepped in, Altus shoved me and shut the door.
"Idiot, I have the keys."
I whispered so Xi wouldn't wake up.
"You're going to—"
"Ha ha. No one humiliates a god and leaves unpunished. But I'm benevolent. Once you grab the relic, I'll open the door."
My blood pressure dropped. My mind went blank—and then exhaustion hit.
I tried to steady myself on something and bumped the light switch.
I covered my mouth to keep from screaming after seeing the torture-field I'd walked into.
Her room is completely pink, and the walls are covered with giant teddy bear paintings.
Eight paintings spread around the room.
Every teddy bear is staring at Xi.
There's a weird teddy bear on the ceiling. And to top it off, her bed is a giant teddy bear that "hugs" her.
She's so adorable. I'm almost regretting this. Almost.
I relaxed. I expected something terrifying, but this doesn't hurt anyone.
I opened the wardrobe—lots of cute clothes. I opened another, and another. Why does a woman need this many clothes? No black panties. Everything here is pink.
I gathered courage and got closer to the teddy-bed, and that's when I saw them.
The panties.
The teddy bear was holding them with its left paw, and with the other it was hugging Xi.
How am I going to grab them without waking her up?
I turned off the light again and started crawling. When I felt something soft, I began to pat around.
Wow. I didn't know a teddy bear could be this soft. Is that why she—
It's not the teddy bear's paw.
Damn it. It's Xi.
She shifted, bothered. I pulled my hand back immediately and held my breath.
Got it. Smooth, delicate texture.
"Intruder. Dedicated intruder."
Who said that? Where is this murderous pressure coming from?
"Intruder took our queen's panties. Capture him."
The eyes of the teddy bear on the ceiling opened—and turned red.
I can't stand up. Something grabbed my legs.
Damn it. The teddy bears came to life.
The teddy-bed rose, standing up, holding Xi in its arms.
"Do not interrupt the beauty sleep of our queen."
A teddy bear hugged me and started squeezing.
"I will break your bones."
I don't feel pain. Weirdly, it's… fluffy.
One of the bears, seeing the hug wasn't working, said:
"Put him down. I'll jump on him and crush him."
"Go jump somewhere else, you idiots."
I started biting the bear. Wow, it's so fluffy.
"Killer jump."
"Help me, Xi. Wake up."
"Thump, thump."
"Ow, my back, you bear—"
Is that the killer jump? That didn't hurt.
"What do we do with him, boss? None of our attacks worked."
"Fluffy bear, let me hug you."
I started chasing the bears.
"See, boss? Now he wants to hug us."
The leader bear got irritated and ordered:
"We'll have to use our deadly technique."
Deadly technique? Hearing that, I stopped chasing them.
"What technique is that?"
I sprinted to the door, but one of the bears rolled into me and knocked me down.
All the bears formed a circle.
"Altus Pervertus, open the door!"
Noooo . . .
Ha ha ha.
Stop, that tickles.
"The deadly technique didn't work. What do we do? Our queen will wake up and see we let him in."
"Dorian, you're going to die."
"It's her."
"It's not what you think. I can explain."
I threw myself at her feet, begging for forgiveness.
"And you, my fluffy babies, couldn't kick him out again."
Again?
She tickled the bear.
"He wanted to steal your panties."
The bear cuddled her.
Hmm. I get it.
"I'm waiting for your version, Dorian."
Xi leaned down close to me.
"Before I explain, could you put on something more appropriate?"
"What's wrong with what I'm wearing? Don't worry—I like sleeping like this."
She's provoking me.
"Here's what happened: some guy named Altus Pervertus forced me to steal your panties, saying they contain the power to attract women."
While my head was bowed, I noticed Altus listening behind the door.
"Interesting."
Xi admired her panties.
"Why interesting?"
"They have the power to attract men."
Huh?
"Can you repeat that, please?"
"They attract men."
When I find him, I'm going to slap his face off.
"How do you know that shameless guy? He has a half-naked portrait in the basement."
It even made me jealous.
"One day, he—"
"Knock, knock."
"Mom, we heard screaming coming from your room. Is everything okay?"
"It was nothing, dear. It's just Dorian who came in here to be inappropriate."
She smiled slightly after saying that.
I had no words.
"What? Dorian is in your room? You said yourself he couldn't sleep with me and my sisters, but he sleeps with you? That's not fair!"
Don't mention that beautiful dream that can't be fulfilled.
I punched the floor in rage.
"Alright, boy. One day I'll tell you how I know Altus. Go sleep. And don't ask my daughters about him if you don't want to disappear."
Is it really that serious?
"Can I—"
"Do you want to turn into a frog again?"
"No. I want to leave, but the door is locked."
She used magic to unlock the door.
That made me unhappy.
"See you tomorrow."
When I opened the door, the girls were in pajamas, holding pieces of club-like sticks.
I searched the hallway for Altus. He vanished.
". . ."
How good it feels to be home. I missed you, coffin.
"Crash."
Now, yes, I can sleep.
They love my portrait. I'm a god.
Now you're in pieces.
"Cock-a-doodle-doo."
Kill me, please . . .
". . ."
"Good morning, Dorian."
Yumi said, leaning on the coffin.
She brushed my hair and whispered:
"Are you not going to tell me what happened in my mother's room?"
"Hello, naughty Dorian," Mio appeared.
She leaned on the coffin and kissed my forehead.
"This filthy guy prefers sleeping with our mother."
Kokoro appeared in the basement, outraged.
"You're a true idiot, but we like you."
Kokoro held my hand.
"Dorian, when you showed up in the brush, my heart raced."
Yua held my hand too.
Such kind girls.
"Rest in peace," they said together.
"I can hear everything."
Hearing me, they acted normal again.
"Sis, clean the mess."
"Good morning, girls."
Who would've thought one day I'd say good morning to four girls.
"Girls, who is that . . .?"
No. Xi told me not to ask.
"What did you say, Dorian?"
"Heh heh, it's nothing, Kokoro. What do we have for breakfast?"
"Sis, we ran out of firewood. How are we going to make coffee?"
"But we already ran out of firewood, Yua?" Yumi asked attentively.
"Dorian, could you get firewood? We're very busy cleaning the basement."
"Yumi, your request is an order."
I ran out to go get firewood.
"Kokoro, we forgot to tell him."
When I closed the basement door, I heard that, but I didn't care.
Where's the axe?
When I opened the door to the room that leads to the yard, I saw the forest for the first time. The trees are gigantic.
This is going to be a lot of work.
I grabbed the axe and headed toward the trees, but when I walked ten meters, a force field appeared around the house.
I started using the axe to break it.
"You broke the frame of a god."
"Altus, cancel this portal."
"Boss, it was this useless guy who broke your precious frame."
I turned to see who it was—an orc wearing an apron, holding a sword about to attack me, but I swung the axe the moment he came in.
"I am Altus Pervertus, god of this world. I adore women, but I hate men."
Another ogre appeared. So I'm going to—
"Bye, then."
I'm not staying to fight that thing. Look at the size of it.
"Hey! Don't run, coward!"
After a few minutes running aimlessly through the forest, I stopped to breathe—and heard voices.
"Donkey, this place is way too dangerous. Are you sure there are two girls in danger here?"
"Of course," said the Donkey.
I tried to peek through the bushes, but I slipped on a banana peel.
"Who are you?"
They asked me.
"My name is Dorian Ironveil."
Esse é último do pov de Dorian.
Me diz aí a tradução está boa? Pois pedir para não mudar muito 90% meu aí