Chapter 31: Succumbing to ImpulsesNotes:So...about that slowburn...
I didn't want to spoil the surprise, but you might not want to read (the second part of) this at work ;)
(unless you're very brave)
So enjoy, but nobody look at me, alright? *cringes in smut*
Chapter Text
Hermione is still in bed. Staring up at the ceiling. She's not sure what time it is, but it's light out. Has been for a while.
She's finally admitted it to herself. Feelings for Bellatrix. A whole muddle of attraction and caring and intrigue and— she likes spending time with her. Isn't scared of her anymore.
Trusts her.
And that in itself is terrifying. How can you trust a person that has caused you so much pain? Will cause her so much pain?
And that's another problem. Other than the Longbottoms…Bellatrix hasn't actually done a lot of the horrible things that Hermione hated her for. Not yet. It's not very fair to blame her for things she did in an alternate future.
But she did do them. Will do them…somehow...
Hermione is broken from her thoughts as none other than Bellatrix walks into the room. Not saying anything, just stomps in and throws herself down next to Hermione on the bed with a bounce and a huff, folding her arms.
Hermione decides not to say anything either. She's not sure what will come out of her mouth right now. And Bellatrix was right. She's still too reckless. Impulsive. She needs to start assessing things before speaking.
So. Bellatrix is clearly grumpy about something.
Hermione continues looking at the ceiling. She can hear Bellatrix breathing. Almost feel her body heat she's so close.
Hermione subtly pulls her arms closer to her sides, not wanting to accidentally touch her. And bites her lip. She can't stop thinking about—
"I'm sorry, alright?"
What?
Hermione rolls onto her side to face the witch. "What? What for? What did you do?"
Bellatrix turns on her side too and frowns. "You're not angry with me?"
She has circles under her eyes. And her hair is even crazier than normal.
Hermione smiles. "No, I'm not angry with you. Why would I be angry?"
Bellatrix searches her eyes, and then rolls to face the ceiling again with a shrug. "You didn't come to breakfast. I thought maybe I hurt you and didn't notice…or you didn't like me drinking or— or I scared you."
Gosh. How did she ever think this witch was heartless? It turns out she is always feeling something. And overthinking. Hermione can relate.
She half sits up to look down at the woman, her heartbeat accelerating. She is so beautiful. And actually rather sweet, in her own way.
Hermione wants…
She wants to kiss her.
Such a stupid reckless impulse. Should she—
Bellatrix's eyes meet hers.
Sod it.
Bellatrix's eyes widen. She must have read the thought.
Hermione leans down anyway. Presses their lips together, just long enough for a warmth to settle in her stomach. And then pulls back.
"You didn't scare me. I'm not angry. Quite the opposite, actually. That's why I needed some time to think."
And Bellatrix scrambles backward off the bed, bumping into a wardrobe.
What the—
And raises her wand at her, before lowering it sharply with a look of utter panic. What on Earth is going on?
"Bellatrix, what's wrong? Why—"
"How are you not scared of me?" Bellatrix growls. "How— I could have hurt you! I could always— you're not allowed to—"
Okay, apparently kissing her was a really bad idea.
"You promised not to hurt me, so—"
"And you trust me? Why? I don't understand it. It's like— like the more you see of me the more you—"
Hermione chuckles softly. "The more I like you? That's kind of how it works, Bellatrix. Didn't you like me more when you learnt more about me?"
Bellatrix doesn't reply, and Hermione swallows awkwardly, looking at the floor.
She thought Bellatrix liked her. She seems to want to spend a lot of time with her, anyway. And touch her. Kiss her.
"Maybe it's the thread…" Bellatrix whispers.
Hermione cautiously looks up. "Do you know what it is? Last night you said…a connection. The elves talked about threads to their masters but…I don't think…you're not my mistress."
Bellatrix has moved to sit on a dresser and is looking down at her kicking feet, tapping the wood with her fingertips. "I have some theories. Strings of fate. Thread of life. Something…to do with prophecy and life. Holding us together. Connecting us. I think…I don't think there was ever a life debt at all. It was this thread, the whole time, that's what's been nagging at me to save you."
Oh. A thread connecting them that has nothing to do with the elves? That made her want to save…
"I wanted to save you too. When you were dying and I had to convince Snape I— I thought it was because of the timeline but— I was scared you were going to die. Frantic. And I was so relieved when you were okay. Is that what— what you felt?"
Bellatrix slowly nods. "I was so angry at you for not saving yourself. That you didn't fight me. That I'd almost— that's partly why I decided to help you. Teach you to be strong. That couldn't happen to you again. You needed to know how to fight. I hated that you'd almost drowned. Pulled you from the water as soon as I could."
Oh.
"Because of the thread…" Hermione whispers.
Strings of…red string, red thread, isn't that…
"I've only ever heard of it as something romantic. The Chinese story of—"
"I know."
Oh.
Hermione looks down at her hands, fidgeting awkwardly as the silence builds.
Romance. Lovers. Soulmates, even. Is that what Bellatrix knows?
Does she think…
Hermione frowns. "It doesn't have to mean…I don't love you or anything…I don't think. I'm not in lo— it's like you said. We spent so long in my head that I feel like you've been there with me, talking to me, almost my whole life. Like you know me better than—"
Hermione clenches her jaw shut, but doesn't dare look up. Just stares at her feet.
A soft thud. And then Bellatrix's feet stop in front of hers.
She looks up, and her heart starts beating wildly at how close the witch is. Looking at her like…
Like…
"I don't love you either," Bellatrix murmurs. "But I think I want to kiss you again."
Oh.
Oh so that's why she looks…
Hermione's mouth goes dry and she swallows. "Why? You've changed your mind? You're not…I thought you didn't want to."
Bellatrix smirks. "That I didn't want to what? To get laid? It's your choice, pet. How about it?"
To get—
Hermione's eyes fall to red lips.
And she presses forwards to taste them.
Oh fuck. She breathes in sharply as a jolt of electricity thrums though her.
Bellatrix's hands press against her back, pulling them flush together as she practically attacks Hermione's lips with a needy groan. Hermione's whole body melts, brain included, and she surrenders herself to it. This is happening. It feels so good, there's no way she can stop—
She brings her hands up to Bellatrix's hair and kisses her deeply, pulling herself as close as possible, letting her mouth fall open. She wants to feel this. Needs this. Merlin she hasn't been this turned on in…
Ever. She moans into Bellatrix's mouth and starts walking backwards towards the bed, tugging the witch with her.
Bellatrix pulls back to grin against her lips, and Hermione feels the front of her pyjama shirt being unbuttoned.
"Now here's an impulse I shouldn't have ignored. Do you know how long I've been fighting this thought? Convincing myself I didn't want this? I should have fucked you as soon as I caught you looking at me back at the cottage," Bellatrix murmurs as she pulls off Hermione's shirt.
She wanted to—
"You wanted to back then? You thought about it?"
She sits down on the bed, and then decides to just take off her pyjama bottoms, watching as Bellatrix removes her dress, just strips off all her clothes at once. Looks like she's just as desperate. "I didn't even know I liked witches until you told me."
Her eyes roam over the naked woman as more and more skin is exposed, trying to decide where she wants to touch first.
Bellatrix pushes her down on the bed and captures her lips once more, their bodies coming together as the witch settles on top of her, exploring her mouth with an intensity and pace that is making Hermione dizzy. God and the touch of her skin. How is she so soft and yet so strong? It's like having a lioness crouched over her. The contained power.
Hermione slides her hands over Bellatrix's back and tries to remember to breathe between kisses. She's panting. They haven't even done anything and she's gasping, desperate to be touched.
How did she not know she was attracted to witches?
She pulls her mouth away. "How did you know? Back at the cottage? That I was attracted to witches?" she pants.
Bellatrix moves down to kiss her neck and Hermione squirms, head thrown back at the feel of a hot mouth and grazing teeth.
"I didn't. I just saw you looking at me and guessed. None of your memories were very sexual…you'd obviously been looking in the wrong place. Denying yourself. And I was right."
She rolls sideways and strokes a hand over Hermione's chest. Squeezes, pinches and watches Hermione's face for her reaction with a burning gaze. A finger scrapes the underside of her breast at just the right spot and—
Hermione groans, arching into her palm and then rolling over on top of the witch, pinning her down by the wrists and kissing her. Bellatrix seems to find this amusing and chuckles against her lips, but Hermione just kisses her harder, bites at her lower lip. She needs to feel her, taste her. She wants to touch her, to—
She pulls her mouth away and crawls down to run her tongue around a nipple instead, shuddering as Bellatrix gasps and moans in response.
The witch is driving her wild. Here's the passion she never knew she had. She's always wondered why people are so obsessed with sex but—
She straddles Bellatrix's waist and leans down to suck at her neck, hands clutching anywhere they can. In her hair, the sheets, reaching between their bodies to stroke across skin. The hot ache building between her legs is delicious. She searches out a nipple and pinches roughly.
"Oh fuck! When did— you haven't done this with a witch before? Fucking hell," Bellatrix groans, fingers digging into Hermione's hips and head falling back to expose more of her throat, back arching.
"No, no I…but I want to. I don't know where to— tell me. I want to make you feel good, tell me where to touch you."
Bellatrix shudders beneath her and then wraps her arms around her tightly, possessively. Sucks at Hermione's neck and runs her lips and tongue back and forth at a point that's so sensitive it makes Hermione moan.
Bellatrix grins and then bites at her shoulder. "I like hearing you. When you— this is new to you. I can feel how wet you are. Tell me what you've discovered. What you've learnt that wasn't in any book you've read."
What she's learnt?
Know it All.
Now who's sapiosexual?
Hermione shivers. Both of them.
"I…I didn't expect your body to be this soft. I can't stop touching you. Even…I can't decide if I want to pull you as close as possible or to touch you softly. Watch you."
She sits up and runs her fingertips over Bellatrix's chest, her shoulders, her arms. Following along muscles, scratches and scars, and avoiding bruises. Hermione swallows. "I can't decide…if I want to look at your body…or watch your expression."
Her eyes meet Bellatrix's. They're dark but focused. Drilling into her. "I'm always drawn to your eyes. I want to figure you out. Know what you're thinking. Feeling."
She maintains eye contact as her hand drifts lower, down over Bellatrix's stomach, stroking over her hip bones.
Bellatrix's eyes seem to darken further, become hooded.
Don't stop. Go lower. Touch me.
Fuck, I forgot you could…are you sure? I don't know—
A groan Yes, yes I'll tell you, just—
Hermione slips her hand between Bellatrix's legs and— oh fu—
Oh fuck, oh you feel—, I want to—, is this—? Fuck, Bellatrix
She's so wet. Hermione did this? She doesn't even know what she's doing, she only knows— well she's done it to herself, so—
She bites her lip and looks down at Bellatrix's face once more. Circles. She'll try circles.
Bellatrix bucks her hips.
Yes, yes just like that. Do what you'd do to yourself. Imagine it. I want to see— oh—
I do this. When I'm alone in bed, I touch myself like this, do you like it?
Faster. I can see you, the memory, it— you have one hand over your mouth and the other between your le— Oh! Harder with—yes. You're trying to be quiet
Bellatrix's legs fall open wider as Hermione presses inside of her, thrusting more confidently as the witch begins to pant and rock her hips, face flushed.
I was at the Burrow. I had to be quiet, but it felt so good. You don't have to be quiet though. I want to—
"Yes, yes Hermione, fuck," she gasps. "Keep going, I'm so— no, I need, I want—"
Bellatrix suddenly sits up and drags Hermione down beneath her all in one move, straddling her and kissing her clumsily. Hot and hard and wet and breathless.
Holy fucking— Hermione moans and bucks her hips. She wrenches her lips away. "I thought— was I not—"
Bellatrix bites at her ear, lifting off of her and pressing a knee between Hermione's legs, nudging them apart. "You nearly had me there, pet. How the fuck did you manage to get me spread beneath you so easily? Oh no. No just seeing you— I want to see that now. Hear you. I want— let me touch you."
She…
Hermione pulls back, pushes on Bellatrix's shoulder so she has some room and looks up at her.
Does Hermione want this? Is she ready to accept who this is, what they're doing?
Bellatrix's cheeks are flushed, her eyes glazed. Her lips are parted slightly, breathing fast, and her eyes dart over Hermione's face. She looks…
We don't have to, Hermione. We can stop. I'm not— I won't— I'd never—
Hermione smiles up at her. Okay. Maybe she does know this witch, she—
"I trust you. I just needed a moment but— are you sure too? You won't…regret this?"
Bellatrix sits back on her knees between Hermione's spread legs, eyes travelling slowly down her body, the intensity making her shiver. Her eyes meet Hermione's once more with a sly grin. "Nope. No regrets."
Hermione rolls her eyes as Bellatrix immediately begins kissing her way down Hermione's body. So impulsive. Always thinking of the consequences, yeah right. The witch wouldn't know how to hold anything back if— "Oh don't stop!"
A mouth is between her legs. No one has ever—
"Oh, that feels so good, how have I never— yes, keep going."
She feels a firm heat press against her and loses control of her breathing. She squeezes her eyes shut, mouth falling open as her body thrums and her hips jolt up. She needs to hold them steady, needs to stay still so that—
Oh it's so— she jerks her hips. Faster? Fuck, how is she— her body is on fire it—ah!
Strong arms wrap around her thighs, holding her firmly as a tongue presses inside of her.
Yes! "Yes, deeper! Oh Bellatrix, Bella—, I— I can't—"
Oh she's so close. Her hands clench in the covers and…why isn't she…something is…she can't quite—
She wants to look at her again. She's too far—
"Bellatrix, I want— I need some friction I— your fingers. Inside me I— and I need you on top of me."
She feels a moan vibrate between her legs and shudders, pulling Bellatrix on top of her eagerly as she crawls up her body.
"I've never been happier that you won't stop talking, everything you say just—"
"Bella, shut up and kiss me. Touch me, I'm so close."
She whines as a hand goes between her legs.
"I'm not going to kiss you. I want to hear you cry out when you come."
Oh! Oh that's so…
Bossy.
She forces herself to focus even as her body screams for release, and smirks at Bellatrix.
"Well then," she pants, "you'd better make me. Maybe I'll stay quiet for once."
Bellatrix's eyes widen, and then she frowns. She thrusts into Hermione firmly.
Oh gods it—
Hermione bites her lip and closes her eyes.
She hears Bellatrix growl in frustration, and another finger is added, the pace getting faster.
Hermione thrusts her hips and clenches both hands in the sheets, but she stays silent. She knows Bellatrix enjoys a fight. A challenge.
Oh.
She wrenches her eyes open and meets Bellatrix's gaze.
How about it, Bella? Race you to the finish?
She sits up, ignoring Bellatrix's confusion, and reaches between the other witch's legs.
What are you…oh.
Hermione kneels up and starts moving her hand, her fingers, tries not to collapse back down as her legs shake.
Who's stronger, Bella? Who's going to break first?
Bellatrix adjusts her position and begins to copy her. Her hand moves back and forth and—
You're sure you want to do this, pet? Sure you don't want to just lie back and let me fuck you?
Hermione's thighs clench and her mouth falls open. Merlin, she wants—
You'd like that, wouldn't you? To have me lying beneath you, wet and moaning, screaming for you.
Bellatrix whines and her eyes fall shut, hips jerking. Then she licks her lips and her eyes blink open.
Yes. Yes, I'm imagining it. Say my name. Say it.
Hermione grinds against Bellatrix's hand, not stopping with her own, pressing deeper even as her body jerks, her other hand bracing herself on Bellatrix's shoulder. Oh she—
Bellatrix. Fuck, Bella. This feels so good. I can feel you clenching around my fingers, are you nearly there? Don't stop. Let yourself go.
I'm not— I— I won't— I can't—
"Bella, I don't care about winning. I— fuck this. I'm going to— ah! Stop hiding you bloody Slytherin and tell me—"
"Yes! Oh fuck I'm so close, I can't stop. My legs are going to—"
Bellatrix falls back on the bed, and Hermione crawls on top of her, thrusts her fingers between her legs as hard as she can.
"Hermione! Don't stop I—" Her eyes fall shut, mouth open in silent pleasure. Fuck, she looks so— a throbbing starts between Hermione's legs just watching, her fingers curling deeper.
Bellatrix moans and shudders, grinding her hips, clenching around Hermione's fingers and then collapsing backwards, panting.
Oh, oh fuck that was— did she—
She straddles Bellatrix's thighs and looks down at her. Her face is flushed, chest heaving, mouth still open as she gasps against the bedsheets.
Her eyes slowly focus up on Hermione, and she moves her hand back between Hermione's legs.
Hermione's so close, she just needs—
She rocks back and forth, and Bellatrix's fingers start to move inside of her as the witch gains her breath, her strength.
So close. So good it—
Hermione…Hermione…Hermione
Yes, yes, yes I— wha?!
Bellatrix lunges upwards and throws herself at Hermione so that they both tumble onto the bed.
And fingers thrust back into her. Hard and fast and—oh fuck oh yes! Her eyes squeeze shut.
A growl. "Look at me! Open your eyes now and look at me. No more games."
A moan leaves her lips and she forces her eyes open. Looks up into Bellatrix's dark eyes, gasping for breath.
"There's a good pet. Now make those pretty noises I asked for", Bellatrix husks, pressing into her harder and grinding her palm against her.
Oh oh. She didn't know she wanted to hear that but—
"Yes, yes Bellatrix. I—" she whines. "Harder, I need you. Make me come, make me. Ah!" She moans and thrusts her hips wildly, chasing that feeling. It's almost— oh god. Oh Merlin.
"Fuck you sound so good. Feel so good. I think I'll taste you again."
Yes. Oh yes—oh! Her mouth it—
She arches off the bed with a cry as a tongue swipes between her legs and then a mouth lowers to suck. Hard. She sees stars and finally peaks, thrumming and pulsing and shivering and clenching around Bellatrix's fingers.
Oh. Oh that was…
She falls back with a groan, feeling Bellatrix collapse on top of her. Fuck.
She can barely breathe she—
That was—
She continues gasping, unclenching her hands from the sheets.
Her eyes fall shut. Her breathing settles. Her heartbeat slowly steadies…
She feels Bellatrix pull a sheet over them and just lies there.
She can barely move. Can't even lift her…
Well. She hadn't expected her morning to quite go like this but…
She feels Bellatrix shift and sit up.
Oh dear. She's not freaking out again, is she?
Hermione keeps her eyes shut, not ready to face that reality.
She feels a kiss against her cheek, and then the bed tilts and there's the sound of feet across the carpet.
She's leaving?
And then she hears the sound of a shower. Oh thank Merlin.
She closes her eyes, and drifts into sleep.
Chapter 32: KinshipNotes:Hey folks, no warnings this time haha
This chapter is longer than I expected, not sure how that happened *shrugs*, so settle in!
Chapter Text
"Oh bloody fucking bollocking— Morgana's tits!"
Huh?
Hermione squints her eyes open in confusion, and then her arms fly out to catch herself as she's rolled almost off the bed.
"Ah! What is—"
Bellatrix is already across the room, picking her clothes up off the floor and hopping about as she struggles into some tights.
"I fell asleep. I'm so late! Cissy is going to avada me if I don't turn up soon. Or she'll just come here. That's even worse. And I still need to— where is my wand? Can you remember?"
Hermione's brain is still defogging from her deep sleep. Umm…
"Umm, bathroom? You had a shower."
Bellatrix grins at her. "Yes! Still the brightest witch of her age."
She runs into the bathroom. "Although when my age ended for some reason and yours began, I'm not sure. I'm still young, aren't I? I'm not McGonagall yet."
Hermione pulls herself up against the pillows and shakes her head in disbelief. Someone's definitely not grumpy anymore. And chatty.
"Yes, you're still young, and running around like a first year late for class. What's so important anyway? It's just your sister."
Bellatrix sticks her head around the door, toothbrush in her mouth.
That had better not be Hermione's toothbrush.
I have to meet Draco for his occlumency lessons
Oh. Oh no, she definitely—
"Oh, then you have to! Nothing can change, and—"
I know, I—
She goes back into the bathroom.
"I'll be with him for a couple of hours and then I should be free. Be careful if you go to the lake, we haven't even had time to— what happened with Dumbledore last night?"
Oh yeah.
Hermione pulls on some underwear and jeans from a chest of drawers. "Yes, we should really catch up about that. He almost died but Snape got there in time, thank you, by the way. Everything's back on track but I'm not sure— keep an eye on Draco, he—"
Hands stroke down her back, and she shivers, leaning into the touch. "Bellatrix, you're late, there isn't time for this," she breathes out.
A head rests on her shoulder and arms wrap around her waist. "I'm already late, two more minutes won't hurt," she pouts, kissing Hermione's jaw.
Oh damn it all to—
Hermione groans and pulls away. "Maybe, but if you start, I'm going to need a lot more than two minutes with you. I don't think I'll be able to stop myself."
She walks over to look in the dresser mirror, shaking her head at Bellatrix's conflicted face in the reflection and smiling. "Go already! I'm going to get dressed properly and then maybe have some breakfast. You're not missing anything, go help your family."
Bellatrix huffs. "Alright, alright, I'm going! Merlin, legilimency is going to be hard today with my head full of…"
She carries on grumbling to herself as she shoves on some boots from the bottom of a wardrobe and then spins around, disappearing with a crack.
Hermione sits down at the dresser and smiles to herself, a hand coming up to her mouth. Hermione Granger, what in the bloody hell did you just do?
She laughs to herself. Did she just sleep with Bellatrix? With a witch?
She laughs again as she looks at herself in the mirror. "I should have gone to Friday night drinks. Well, at least I finally have a story to tell, some gossip to share. Merlin's beard, what would Ginny say? They're faces. They'd never believe this."
Hermione can't quite believe it. She doesn't regret it. Not at all. It had been…
She walks into the bathroom, tugging her jeans back off and deciding to have shower.
And rolls her eyes at the mess. Bellatrix has left everything everywhere. Did she decide to try all of Hermione's shower products or something? And even the toothpaste is—
But at least it wasn't her toothbrush. There's another one left on the side. Thank Merlin.
She gets into the shower with a chuckle.
It doesn't feel wrong. It feels…natural. Being with Bellatrix is easy. They get each other. Things just…
They bounce off of one another. She has no idea how, maybe because of their time with the elves? Or being in each other's heads?
It's nothing like her relationship with Ron, that had been so…exhausting and— they were incompatible.
Not that she's in a relationship with Bellatrix now. It's more like…friends with benefits…without being friends. Or maybe they are friends now but— It was just sex, it doesn't mean…
Very good sex.
She splashes some water on her face.
She doesn't believe in Voldemort anymore. And Hermione did that? All it took was…
All it took was Hermione giving her whole being, all of her memories, her life, and the fate of the world to the witch. And then arguing some sense into her. So no big deal. Anyone could have done it…
Maybe it is fate. Not just prophecy, but…
So this always happened? The whole time? Every time they met Bellatrix after The Department of Mysteries…she was secretly with Hermione. Sleeping with Hermione.
Unless the first time she wasn't, and this is changing the first course of events? That may be possible.
But this time…what are they going to do? Is Bellatrix going to have to torture her again? Knowing who Hermione is?
Hermione finishes washing herself and steps out of the shower, grabbing a towel and then sorting out her hair a bit in the mirror. Don't think about that now. The next problem is the merpeople. And breakfast.
She pushes the eggs around her plate, daydreaming again. Clenching her thighs together as she remembers—
Hermione! Time travel! Focus. You're not some horny teenager that—
Not that she was ever a horny teenager. She'd had to save the world then too. Or at least stop Harry from nearly dying all the time. At least this time she got some sex out of it…
She finishes her breakfast and sends the plate to the sink as usual. Now what? Should she go to the lake and talk to the…they're nymphs. She keeps forgetting.
Bellatrix is part nymph. Maybe a metamorphagus like Tonks.
Tonks. Tonks is still alive. If only she could ask her about metamorphosis. That might help her understand the nymphs a bit better.
But no. No changing things, or interacting with people. So she only has—
"Tiggy?"
She cleans up the rest of breakfast as she waits. It's not like Tiggy to take this long.
How strange.
And Tiggy appears. Soaking wet and dripping water all over the floor.
"Tiggy, what happened?!"
Tiggy vanishes the water from the floor, dries themselves, and tilts their head to the side, grumbling. Some water comes out of their ears.
"Nothing is being happened, Miss Hermione, is being the merpeople. They is restless waiting for Mistress Bellatrix. She needs to be visiting them soon or they is driving Tiggy crazy with their Calls."
Oh dear. "Sorry about that. I suppose that's my fault. They're not…angry…are they?"
Tiggy frowns. "Some is, some isn't. I is suggesting you speak with Mistress Leagore. The real Mistress Leagore, not silly little Mastress Autonoe. Although they is wanting to see you too. They is thinking you is angry with them."
Oh poor Autonoe. She hadn't meant— it was just because Dumbledore was—
Her eyes drift to the countertop, to the tins and thread still left there from last night. Hmm.
She grabs a knife from the drawer and moves over to the tins, piercing a hole in the bottom of each one.
"Tiggy, do you think Autonoe would like to play a game with me? If I meet them back in the cave?"
Tiggy chuckles. "Oh they is definitely liking a game. Tiggy will be telling them when you is ready."
Hermione smiles as she pulls the end of the string through one hole, tying it securely, and then does the same with the other end, until she has a long 'telephone'.
She thinks Autonoe will like this. And it might help her and Bellatrix with the thread…
The red thread of fate.
This thread is red too.
"Okay Tiggy. I'm ready, I'll meet them in the cave."
She pops away. Oh. Three of them.
"Oh sorry, I didn't know—"
The merpeople stop whispering and turn to face her. She doesn't recognise them— oh!
Now she recognises two of them. The motherly looking one who had been excited to talk about an heir and— oh dear.
"Hello, my sweet. Are you back to make another deal? Where has your protector run off to?"
This is the mermaid— merperson— nymph who—
The motherly figure tuts. "Eudora, don't scare the witchling so. I'm sure her mate shall be here soon, hmm? She must want to learn more about her family?"
Hermione backs away to sit on a rock.
Her mate. She forgot about that. And it's almost not a lie anymore after this morning...
"Yes. She's busy at the moment, but as soon as she's free she'll come to see you all, I'm sure of it. I just came to play a game with Autonoe. That's okay…isn't it?"
Eudora rolls their eyes and falls into a backwards dive, gliding into the water and away without a sound, obviously bored of the conversation already.
"Kallianassa, I'm not sure we should condone—" the third merperson murmurs.
Kallianassa scoffs with a smile. They kind of remind her of Andy. "Oh, shush, Dexamene, she's harmless. And we all know Autonoe could do with a friend to play with. They've been swimming rings around Oreithye and Leagore all morning on patrol."
They grin at Hermione. Now they really do remind her of Andy. Or Bellatrix at her most mischievous. "Sit tight, little witchling, we'll fetch a playmate for you. And don't mind Eudora. They're all shriek and no bite."
Umm. Hermione's not sure she believes that.
…Merpeople don't really bite, do they?
The other merperson, Dexamene, their teeth do look rather sharp now that she—what?!
Dexamene transforms as their eyes meet, muscles growing and getting taller and taller until a mountain of a merman sits before her, glaring down at her and standing tall on their tail fin to—
"Dexamene! Stand down, what is the meaning of this?" Kallianassa bellows, voice deep and echoing through the room, features sharpening.
Dexamene clenches their fists and grits their teeth…and then shrinks. Back to their original form except…maybe more feminine than before.
This is so confusing! How do you know who's who if everyone changes their appearance all the time?
She's going to have to make a list of names with Tiggy and Bellatrix.
Dexamene gives her one last glare and then splashes into the water.
"Forgive them," Kallianassa sighs, voice soft once more. "They're not used to witches. None of us are. It's all very…I'll go and find Autonoe for you, witchling."
Hermione nods distractedly, and Kallianassa drops into the water and out of sight.
Alone in the cave.
What a relief. It's all a bit overwhelming. Like starting Hogwarts again, but with no books or Professor McGonagall to tell her what to expect.
Oh.
Oh dear.
Sapiosexual. Praise kink. Older woman introduces her to the Wizarding World and tells her who she is. Teaches her about herself.
Maybe she did have a crush on McGonagall.
Oh how embarrassing.
Oh thank goodness the witch isn't a legilimens, that would have been—
It must be hard being a legilimens. Seeing everyone's thoughts about you. As much as it helps, it must be rather embarrassing.
If any of the students had a crush on Snape for example—
Oh dear Merlin, where are your thoughts going Hermione, that's—
Wait. He's a legilimens! So he knew Harry was always trying to learn, that he was being unfair. That horrible—
Oh. And could hear all the horrible things they thought about him. Every time he glared at them…held eye contact…Lilly's eyes…
Stop it, Hermione. Back on track. Now let's see.
You just spoke with Kallianassa who…seemed to like you, maybe. Dexamene who hates you, and Eudora, who maybe wants to sleep with you…however that works if you're a merperson.
She doesn't want to know. Especially if they're all related…
That can't be right. Anyway.
Then there's Autonoe of course, sweet and childish. Oreithye. Angry but…cares about Autonoe. Has pride in their ancestry, but still helped Hermione, seemed to worry about Dumbledore.
And Kalianassa mentioned that they were on patrol with Leagore. Maybe that's what they always do together. Like when they first surrounded Bellatrix.
How many is that? Then there's Thetis, who looks like Narcissa or a queen or a king depending on the occasion.
Pronoe, who was calm and collected and looked remarkably like Draco…but not always. What did they look like before?
Ugh. Her head. She needs a diagram.
"Hermione?"
Hmm?
Hermione looks out across the water in the torchlight. Autonoe?
"Autonoe? Where are you? I promise I'm not cross anymore. I brought a game to show you."
A ripple of water.
"You're not angry? You promise on the gods?"
Hermione smiles. "On all the gods of Olympus."
A musical giggle. "On the Titans, you mean. They're even older. Oreithye says I have to respect my elders. Or…they get grumpy."
Hermione snorts. "You're supposed to listen because they have wisdom to share. Knowledge."
More splashing. "Well, I'm your elder, aren't I? So do as you're told and close your eyes, Hermione. I have a surprise for you."
Wha— that's not what she—
"Have you closed them?"
She really shouldn't. But she can't fault their logic.
Fine.
She closes her eyes. "Yes, they're shut."
She hears a loud splash, and then a thud.
"Alright, open them…now!"
Oh! Ha! Oh goodness this is—
Autonoe has transformed their features to look like Hermione's long lost twin…wearing a red knitted jumper.
"Autonoe! That's amazing! You look so much like me and…where on Earth did you get a jumper?!"
Autonoe grins and transforms back. "Tiggy made it for me. Do you like it? It's just like yours, and it's my favourite colour, like the flying people."
Ohh.
So that's why— the knitting. The red thread!
"It's a lovely jumper. Remember not to stretch it if you um…metamorph any bigger."
Autonoe beckons her closer, and Hermione sits next to them. Rather cautiously. She remembers what happened last time.
"I can't maxiform. Only some of us can do that. Like…Dexamene, and Oreithye, and…probably Thetis and Kalianassa, but I haven't seen it. The rest of us have to…stay the same size. Not the same shape! Just…moved around. Like this!"
Autonoe's chest flattens, and their arms gain some muscle definition.
How fascinating.
"Why only some of you? Is it how old you are?"
Autonoe sighs and looks up at the ceiling. "No. I can't remember why. Leagore told me, but then he told me how to braid my hair nicely and I forgot all about it. You'll have to ask her later."
He…her…
She definitely needs to ask—
"About that. Gender and…choosing your form. How do you know who anyone is if they're always changing?"
Autonoe scooches closer and pulls Hermione's legs onto their lap, looking at them curiously.
"We don't change all the time. We mostly stay the same, I was just having fun. Leagore changes quite a lot, and Thetis, but you can just ask them who they are, it's simple really. And you're always able to tell who is who, because our tails don't change. Always the same. Same colour, same shape. I wish mine was red like Eudora's, but no. Boring blue."
Oh. Well that's actually very helpful. Now she can just make a colour chart and— wait.
"Boring? Your tail is beautiful, Autonoe. A beautiful blue. Like the sky."
Autonoe looks up at her, eyes wide. They cover their mouth with a squeak.
What?
"You can't say that!" Autonoe whispers. "What if Kalypso hears you? I don't want to have to fight her, she looked…scary. Beautiful of course…but scary. Almost as scary as Speio."
Speio— what— why would Bellatrix—
"Oh, Autonoe, I was just being friendly. I didn't know— was that not appropriate or— I don't know anything about uhh…mating."
Gosh. Today is really rather sex related. She can feel her face heating up.
Autonoe bursts into ringing peals of laughter. "But you have a mate! Oh you are so very strange Hermione."
Hermione scowls. "Yes, but my mate isn't a mermaid, is she? She's a witch. She didn't know she was Kalypso. I don't know anything about this, the same as you don't know about witches."
Autonoe seems to consider this. "Well…I suppose. Alright. I'll tell you about— no, I can't! It's too embarrassing! I can still remember when Thetis told me. It was awful. They're so enchanting, aren't they? It was very difficult to concentrate."
Oh the poor thing. Thetis is rather intimidating for a sex talk.
But…
"Better than Oreithye though, I'm guessing?" Hermione grins.
Autonoe squeals and then covers their mouth. "Oh Hermione, how funny you are! But yes! That would be horrendous! Although…I think Oreithye would be far too embarrassed. We all know what they really feel for Leagore, but it's been years and still nothing."
Hmm. Oreithye and Leagore?
"And Leagore hasn't…do they know? How Oreithye feels?"
Autonoe shakes their head with a sigh. "No. Leagore hasn't even noticed. It's terribly frustrating. And romantic, I suppose. But— what's that?"
Oh. The tins. The thread.
Hermione picks them up with a smile. "This is the game I brought. I was supposed to play it with Bellatrix, but she's busy so I thought— here, take this end."
She hands one tin to a curious Autonoe and then gets up, walking backwards with the other until the string is taut.
Autonoe frowns at her as she backs away. "What is it? How do we play?"
"Just…stay there, and hold the tin to your ear like…like a shell. Like when you listen to the sea in a seashell."
Hermione demonstrates, and Autonoe copies her with a smile.
And then Hermione speaks into her tin. She hopes it works. "Hello, Autonoe."
Autonoe lets out a gleeful whistle. "Your voice travelled! It travelled through the— Oh Hermione, we have a thread! Kalypso will definitely be jealous now. It is like I'm your symbolon."
Symbolon? What's a symbolon?
Autonoe holds the tin over their mouth. "Let me try, listen to this!"
Hermione dutifully holds it to her ear.
"Can you even hear this?" a whispered voice tickles in her ear.
It does work! Very well actually.
"Yes," she whispers back. "This is called a telephone. It's for talking at a long distance."
Autonoe laughs.
"No! It's called a thread. Look. It's even red like blood," Autonoe calls out.
"Hermione!"
Oh. What ironic timing. She puts down the tin.
"Sorry, Autonoe. Bellatrix is calling me on our thread. We might have to stop for a moment."
Autonoe's pupils go wide. "Oh, hide it! Quickly! If she comes here she'll be so angry with me!"
Wha—
Hermione chuckles as Autonoe hurriedly throws the tin back to her.
"She won't be angry! But you can hide if you'd like, then you can see that she's not scary."
She watches Autonoe slip into the water, and then closes her eyes, feeling for the thread.
I'm in the cave where we met Thetis. Only Autonoe is here, but they're hiding
Silence.
Oh shoot! Bellatrix can't apparate to Hogwarts, how—
Tiggy and Bellatrix arrive with a pop.
"Sorry, forgot you couldn't apparate here."
Bellatrix shrugs and lets go of Tiggy, who shakes their head at them and disappears.
The witch looks rather tired, actually. How unusual.
"So…what are we doing here? Where is—"
Autonoe's scared of you. I'm showing them you're not scary. They're sweet.
Sweet? How can you trust—
They're practically a child! They've actually told me a lot of interesting things about metamorphing and the thread and—
"You know more about the thread? Tiggy said I could travel with the thread too." Bellatrix says, eyes brightening and stepping closer eagerly.
"Really?"
Hermione holds up a tin for Bellatrix to take.
The witch frowns. "What's this?"
"Stay there."
She walks backwards across the wet stone floor. "Hold it to your ear."
Bellatrix rolls her eyes but does so.
Hermione grins. "This is our thread, Bella. Talk to me," she whispers.
Bellatrix lets out a bark of laughter, and then brings the tin to her lips. "Hello, pet," she murmurs lowly. Throatily. It makes Hermione shiver.
And laughter comes from the water.
They both turn as Autonoe's head peeks out. "Do you like the game too? Hermione is so funny, isn't she? Why did she make a thread when you already have one?"
Bellatrix puts down the tin and folds her arms. "How do you know about the thread? What do you know?" she snaps, walking towards the water.
Why is she so grumpy again?
Autonoe's head bobs back under.
Hermione walks over to the witch with a sigh and takes her hand. "Be nice, and then you might find out," she murmurs.
Bellatrix seems to vibrate, eyes darting around, taking in their surroundings…
And then nods resignedly, tiredness back as she reaches down to pull off her boots and tights. Huh? Oh.
She sits and dangles her legs in the water. "Sorry. My head's just…Autonoe, was it? Come here, kid. I need your help with this…thread. We're kin, aren't we? You'll help me?"
There's a ripple, and then Autonoe appears, holding onto the side and looking up at Bellatrix shyly.
Hermione sits down near them. Not too close though. She doesn't fancy getting splashed again.
"Yes, we're kin. Blood of my blood." Autonoe says carefully.
Bellatrix snorts. "Well? I don't bite! What— what the hell are you wearing?"
Autonoe looks down at themselves, and then back up with a grin. "Tiggy made it! It's called a jumper. Just like Hermione's. Do you like it? Oh! And what are you wearing? Do you not like jumpers?"
Hermione can't help but laugh. Bellatrix in a jumper.
"Tiggy?" Bellatrix's mouth falls open in shock. "When did— the sneaky— well, I can't tell how nice it is. You're not supposed to get it wet. It's a nice colour, I suppose."
Autonoe cautiously reaches to touch Bellatrix's dress. "Like the thread. And the flying people."
Bellatrix turns to Hermione with a bewildered expression.
Quidditch. They like watching Gryffindor
Bellatrix huffs, turning back to fold her arms at Autone. "And what about the green people? I was green, you know, when I was at Hogwarts."
Autonoe snaps their gaze to Bellatrix and their hand comes up to touch their hair. "Green like this? Like us?"
Bellatrix groans. "No! I've already told you, I'm not a metamorphagus. I meant my clothes were green not—argh!"
Autonoe springs out of the water to sit next to Bellatrix, sending water flying. Hermione casts a hasty drying spell over her with a chuckle.
"You can metamorph! We all can! You're Kalypso, you're supposed to be the best at hiding. I think you just don't want to hide because you're already so beautiful."
Bellatrix grins. "Careful kid, I already have a mate you know."
Autonoe looks at Hermione in horror. "Oh I didn't mean— but you are beautiful, why can't I say that? I don't want to fight you, Hermione. Maybe you're right, mating is very complicated. I thought…maybe you do need to tell me how witches mate."
Oh no.
Hermione freezes as Bellatrix turns to smirk at her. "Been talking about mating, have we? I wonder why?"
"Well Hermione was—"
Gah!
"Okay Autonoe! Maybe you could tell us about the thread now!"
Autonoe slips off the side and floats onto their back in the water, arms behind their head, staring up at the ceiling. "You don't know the story? It's so romantic. I love it when Leagore tells it…and it's especially funny if Oreithye is there too, trying to seem angry."
Bellatrix meets her eye.
What story? The Chinese legend, or a different one?
Hermione shrugs.
"We don't know any story, kid. Why don't you tell us?"
Autonoe continues looking at the ceiling.
And then there's a splash and a shriek as they're pulled under.
Chapter 33: If You Don't LaughChapter Text
Wha—
Hermione hurries to her feet and looks down into the dark water. "Can you see them? What happened?"
Bellatrix is already on her feet too, wand drawn. "I don't know who it was, it was too fast. Should we—"
"Did you see a tail? What colour was it? They can't change their tails."
"Really? Silver, I think."
Silver?
Oh then—
Thetis rises from the water. And rises. And rises.
They tower over them. A king. A vengeful god. Standing tall on their tail fin, pupils wide and dark and teeth sharp as their jaw drops open and—
Hermione draws her wand with a glare. "Stand down, Thetis. You may rule the colony, but I won't let you threaten my mate. We have broken no law. Stand down and talk."
Bellatrix turns to her in astonishment, wand frozen mid protego. And then her mouth falls open as Thetis shrinks, closing their eyes with a sigh.
A Queen once more. Calm. Collected. "Forgive me, I…you have returned."
Bellatrix appears to still be dumbstruck, so Hermione lowers her wand with a nod.
"Yes, as I explained, we had to leave. It's how it had to be."
Thetis nods resignedly, and glides over the water to sit beside Hermione.
It's rather daunting, being next to royalty. A god. Hermione tugs at her sleeves awkwardly but forces herself to sit down next to them, not to move away. Not to look away, even though their beauty is so palpable she can almost feel it.
Poor Autonoe in the Sex-Ed class.
Thetis chuckles. "You are brave, witchling. I see why you are a gryffindor. And why you are worthy of such a mate as Kalypso."
Gryffindor?
"How did you—"
"You are not the only one with the curse of prophecy, child. That has been my burden for…oh, far too long."
Bellatrix sits down next to Hermione and clears her throat. "What do you know?"
Thetis leans past Hermione and smiles. "Much, child. Far too much."
Bellatrix glares. "I'm not a child. I haven't been a child in a long time. If you knew anything you—"
Thetis transforms…and a teenage Andromeda is suddenly sat beside them, with a mischievous grin.
Bellatrix scrambles backwards across the wet stone floor, flying to her feet in horror, wand drawn.
Thetis sighs. "She will forgive you, you know. You will speak again, before your time comes. You are as twins. Two sides of a coin."
What? How is that possible? When—
"Crookshanks! Hermione, Crookshanks!"
What—oh!
Hermione follows the thread to Bellatrix, grabs her arm firmly, and takes them straight to the library. Bellatrix's safe place.
Hands grip her arms tightly, so tightly they might bruise.
"No— not here I— I'll destroy everything, I can't— Hermione, you have to leave. I'm not—"
Okay. Okay then.
She takes them away again. To the beach outside Shell Cottage.
"It's alright, Bellatrix. What Thetis did was wrong, you're allowed to be upset. There's only sand here, you can let it go, scream if you have to."
"But what if I— you're here, you—"
Hermione cups her mouth and shouts into the wind. "Thetis doesn't know anything! They can shove their prophecy up their arse!"
It echoes against the cliffs, over the wind and crash of the waves.
She squeezes Bellatrix's arm and then steps back a few paces with a nod, giving her the floor.
Bellatrix looks at her in confusion…and then nods jerkily.
She puts her wand in her hair, plants her feet wide and firm in the sand, opens her clenched fists, and screams.
A primal roar that vibrates through her body, through the sand, rocks the dunes.
Hermione casts bubblehead charms on both of them and steadies her feet as the sand starts to whip around them in a whirlwind, a hurricane.
Bellatrix almost seems to crackle with the intensity of her magic. Hermione feels her hair stand on end.
"Why!" Bellatrix screams.
"Why is there always more?! I can't take it!"
She drops to her knees, burying her hands in the sand.
"I take! And I take! And still I have nothing!"
Hermione moves towards her, trying to make her out through the whirling sand. Just a small, blurring figure curled on the ground.
"I don't— I don't even have me. Can't I— can't I just have me?"
She's not yelling anymore. The rage has turned to—
The sand falls still…and the tide draws in. All at once. Pulled in up to their knees.
Hermione splashes over to the shivering witch, reaching for her and pulling her from the water.
"I'm not safe in— in my own head, Hermione. Even who I am is gone now. I thought— the past. The future. The pain is— it hurts. It just hurts."
"I know. I know, it's horrible. But you're okay. I'm here, it's okay."
"What have I done, Hermione? When did I— when did it go so wrong?"
And now she does take her to the library. Pushes her down to sit on the sofa near the fire and casts a drying spell on them both.
"I took so much I— I had to give it back. I just had to. It was trapped in me and— the things I've done."
Tiggy appears with a blanket and a tray of potions and chocolate. Hermione smiles at them gratefully, taking the blanket and wrapping it around the witch, and then sitting down next to her and taking her hand.
Cold and shaky.
"I didn't— I gave up. I was weak. I wasn't strong enough."
Hermione takes her other hand too. Holds them both. And kneels before her.
"Bellatrix. Bella look at me," she says softly. She's so pale. Trembling.
Eyes meet hers.
Hermione smiles sadly. "No one could take it. It was impossible. No one can take that much. It wasn't your fault."
"But I—"
"Yes. You made some wrong choices. The pain had to go somewhere…and some people got hurt. It was too much to deal with alone. It went wrong."
Tears trickle down Bellatrix's cheeks. "I tried. I really tried, I promise," she whispers. "I…I feel like I've been fighting against the world my whole life. So…if I had to fight…I thought I'd fight to win. But now I— I think I read the rules wrong. I've been losing this whole time."
Oh her heart is breaking for the witch.
She leans down and kisses Bellatrix's hands, and then sits next to her on the sofa, pulling the blanket around over them both and moving next to her.
"You haven't lost yet, Bellatrix. Because it's not the end. It's only the beginning. You're still young, remember? You're not McGonagall yet. And you have me. Through sand and sea."
Bellatrix curls against her and rests her head on Hermione's shoulder.
"Through sand and sea…and…if I lose myself?"
Hermione shifts to pull her closer. "I'll find you. I'll go into your head if I have to. The dark doesn't scare me."
Bellatrix chuckles wetly. "Nothing scares you. Gryffindor's golden girl. Faced up to her boggart with nothing but her brain and a smile."
A smile? Suppose she did.
"It was rather frightening, I have to admit. I'm glad I did though."
Bellatrix's hand strokes over her arm. Pulls up her sleeve.
Oh.
Hermione feels tears fall against her neck.
"I was a boggart. A monster. I— I can't fix this."
No. No, she can't.
"I'm afraid what's done is done, Bella. Just…next time you face a choice…be kind. Promise me you'll be kind."
Bellatrix pulls back, wipes at her eyes and clears her throat. "I still have to do it though, don't I. There are still so many things I have to do. So it's my soul…or chaos. The same as always. There's no escape. I'm going to have to take it."
Well…
Hermione slowly shakes her head. "Well…no. No there's— there's always a choice. We're both smart, right? The brightest witches of our age? I'm sure we can plan something."
Bellatrix barks out a disbelieving laugh. "I'm a Death Eater! I've always been— I have to be— the world will end!"
Hermione smirks. "We thought you were a Death Eater. Turns out you're a nymph tied to a muggleborn. Maybe you always were. Who knows what you've been hiding from the world this whole time? You are Kalypso, after all. Goddess of Concealment. Let's see how much you can hide."
Bellatrix's eyes dart back and forth as she considers this. Fiddles with the blanket in her lap. She doesn't seem quite convinced yet…but she's considering it. Hermione reaches out and squeezes her knee reassuringly.
And Bellatrix blinks her eyes back into focus. Rubs at her face, runs her fingers through her hair. Good. She's coming back to herself.
She turns from Hermione and looks away at the crackling fire.
Hermione looks away too, trying to give the witch a bit of space. She keeps her hand resting on her knee though. Just to show she's there.
They both gaze into the flames for a long time, sat together in silence. Until Bellatrix clears her throat, squeezes Hermione's hand, and then moves it off of her knee. Hermione chances a glance at her. She seems a bit…ashamed. Too much vulnerability.
Right. Change of scene. Change of subject.
Hermione stands up and offers the witch her hand. Bellatrix blinks at it and then raises an eyebrow.
Hermione sighs. "It's past lunchtime. I may have had a late breakfast, but you haven't eaten in hours. I'm not having you collapse on me again. It was horrible enough the first time when I hated you."
Bellatrix takes her hand, searching her eyes. And then grins wickedly. "Worried I've spent too much energy? I think I ate quite a lot this morning, but I can always eat more, if you want." She sticks her tongue between her teeth. Wiggles it.
What? Oh for the—
Oh she is—
Hermione pulls her hand back and smacks Bellatrix on the shoulder. "Bellatrix! Oh you are so— oh grow up! I was being serious! You've used a lot of magic!"
Bellatrix gets to her feet with a cackle. "Grow up? You need to grow down! You've been middle-aged since you were eleven, bossy boots. Come on, say something crude. I dare you."
Wha—
"Being crude doesn't make you— why do I have to— that is beside the point. The point is—"
Bellatrix steps closer, still smiling smugly. It's maddening.
"What is the point then? Hmm? Scared I'm going to collapse? Like when you hated me?"
The point is…
Hermione tuts and folds her arms. "Are you hungry?"
Bellatrix winks. "Ravenous."
Argh. "Will you stop!"
"Nope. I don't think you want me to stop. You want me to keep going and going and—"
"This won't work, Bella. I know you're just distracting me from—"
"Bella, Bella, Bella. Am I Bella now? When did that happen? Oh yes…"
"Bellatrix, please."
Bellatrix chuckles and wraps her arms around her waist. "Oh you just make it too easy! Please what, pet? What do you want me to do to you?"
She wants her to stop this! It's obviously just a weird cover up for what just happened. She doesn't want to think about it so she's trying to take control or something, but it just— it's not funny, it—
Oh.
She wraps her arms around Bellatrix. Holds her. "Hug me, Bellatrix. Please. Comfort me. And then come and have lunch with me. I want— just hold me."
She feels Bellatrix go stiff, holding her breath…and then slowly breathe in.
One of the hands moves from Hermione's waist to her hair. "I…you want this from me?"
There we are. That was the fear. The reason for— why would Hermione care about her boggart? A monster? Because that's what Bellatrix thinks she is. So she tried to convince herself it was about sex. Same as Hermione did this morning. Friends with benefits, without the friendship. Except…Merlin, does Hermione care about this witch.
She presses her face into Bellatrix's neck. "Yes. Yes I want this from you. I like holding you. It's steadying…don't you think?"
Fingers stroke over her hair. And then there's a kiss to her head. "You need steadying?"
The 'too' is unspoken, but hangs in the air. You need steadying too?
Hermione presses closer. Nods against her. "We've had a crazy month."
Bellatrix chuckles and pulls Hermione to her. "One month, is that it? It sure has been…fucking bizarre. And I'm not apologising for my language because—"
Hermione laughs. "Oh no, no need to apologise. You are completely right about that. Fucking bizarre. Just really fucking weird. And that's coming from someone who didn't find out about magic until they were eleven."
She hopes that wasn't too much of a reminder about…muggles. Blood. Their past.
Bellatrix doesn't reply, but the fingers in her hair don't stop moving, so Hermione starts tracing patterns over the witch's back.
And Bellatrix hums in thought. "I can't even imagine not knowing about magic. Not feeling it. I didn't notice…what was the first bit of magic you saw?"
Oh gods. Oh she's going to have a field day with this.
Hermione groans. "You're going to laugh at me."
Bellatrix pulls back. Looks into her eyes. "I won't. Promise."
A promise. She always means her promises. That's a lot of pressure. Hermione slowly reaches up and presses her hand over Bellatrix's mouth.
You will laugh. But I don't want you to break a promise, so if you do, it doesn't count
Bellatrix raises her eyebrows at her. You seem very sure of yourself. I thought seeing magic would be exciting, not…amusing
Hermione shakes her head, scrunches her eyes shut. "It was…the first time I ever heard about magic. Ever saw anything magical…was…Professor McGonagall turning our sofa into a bed."
There's a muffled noise from behind her hand. Knew it.
Oh gods it's so embarrassing. That stupid crush.
She squints her eyes open. Bellatrix's shoulders are moving up and down in stifled laughter. Oh fine!
She moves her hand away. "Go on, laugh!" she grins. "I told you."
Bellatrix bursts out in cackles of laughter, hunched over and struggling to breathe. "You— McGonagall! A bed!" She carries on laughing and panting, tears forming in her eyes.
"I was eleven!...Nearly twelve. But there was nothing— it's only looking back—"
Bellatrix reaches out a hand and steadies herself on Hermione's shoulder. "Did you— were you on the sofa? The— the bed?"
Hermione feels her face heat up and grimaces. "We both were. She—"
Bellatrix cackles again. "Oh Salazar, I'm dying!"
Hermione presses her hands over her face. Oh Merlin why! "It's not my fault she chose a bed! It doesn't mean— oh bollocks it's just—"
"It's like your whole personality is just to please McGonagall," Bellatrix gasps. "Gryffindor. Teacher's pet. Bookworm. Prefect. Department Head."
Now wait a minute!
"Whole personality?! You think all I am is a teacher's pet? She showed me something I thought was impossible, and said I could do it too. She showed me knowledge. Power. Control. That's what I wanted. Same as you."
Bellatrix abruptly stops laughing. Oh dear. Has she ruined the—
Bellatrix stares at her. Just kind of freezes and stares as her breathing calms.
And then she slowly takes Hermione's hand and squeezes. "Not surprised. Now, come along, pet. I actually am starving, you were right. Let's go have lunch." She pulls Hermione along by the hand towards the door. Huh?
That was sudden. She's not…
How does this witch never make sense?
Bellatrix just continues walking down the corridor, swinging their joined hands behind her.
In a weird way, Hermione feels like she needs to thank her. For this…calm.
Ah. There is something she can do.
"Oh good. I'm getting quite hungry too. You did all the eating this morning. Maybe I'll get a lick of something later," she forces out of her mouth as casually as possible.
Bellatrix's feet screech to a stop on the wooden floor and Hermione almost walks into her. The witch slowly turns around.
Hermione keeps her expression carefully calm.
And Bellatrix shakes her head at her with a bright smile. "Look who's more than just a teacher's pet. Who would have guessed?"
Hermione shrugs and rolls her eyes. Bellatrix just continues smiling. And then tilts her head in thought.
Umm… What? What is it?
Bellatrix sighs and mumbles something to herself that Hermione can't quite hear.
And then she leans to whisper in Hermione's ear. "Just so you don't feel too embarrassed…I had a dream about McGonagall once."
What?!
Hermione pulls back to gape at her. "After all that making fun of me! You're such a hypocrite! What was the dream?"
Bellatrix grabs her hand again and starts walking them down towards the kitchen. "Think it was in my third year. She gave me detention for not putting enough effort into my essay or some bollocks. She was always nagging on about me not 'fulfilling my potential'. Anyway. That night I had a dream I was back in detention, but I was in charge."
Hermione holds back a snort. Of course.
"Yes, yes, I know, alright? It's the same as you. In hindsight it's fucking obvious."
"So you gave her detention? Made her write lines?"
They reach the kitchen. Something smells really good. Tiggy is a mind-reading marvel. She hops onto a stool. Bellatrix sits opposite.
Is she…embarrassed? Avoiding eye contact?
"Bella…what happened in the dream?"
Bellatrix takes a sip of water and then clenches her jaw, looking at the counter in feigned interest. "I…oh fuck, you're right. It's really fucking embarrassing now that I think about it," she groans.
Now Hermione can't help but snort. "I told the bed story."
"Mine's worse."
Hmm…well…
"Well you don't have to tell me. We can just have lunch. Talk about…uhh…what do we normally talk about?"
Now it's Bellatrix's turn to snort as she dangles her wand over her glass of water, spinning it and somehow creating a mini whirlpool in the drink. "We don't normally talk about anything. We just deal with whatever shit is thrown at us every day. Guess we could make some plan for…Oh sod it. I'm sick of plans, aren't you? All the possible outcomes for everything just…you know what? Even talking about McGonagall is a break from all that. So fine. Just don't…"
Bellatrix's eyes come up to meet hers.
Hermione leans forward expectantly, chin on hands. "I won't laugh. Promise."
Bellatrix sighs. "Alright. I…in my dream, I tied her to her chair. At her desk. Pulled her arms behind her and tied her to the back of the chair. Then I sat on her desk, facing her. Put my feet on either side of her and slowly tilted the chair back. Watched her panic. Never knowing when or if I was going to let her fall. She started out stern but...she was...begging...by the end."
Hermione puts her hand over her mouth to hide her grin. Rather unsuccessfully. Bellatrix studiously ignores her and sips at the water.
It's just so psychologically on the nose, it—
Whilst technically not sexual it just screams of...
"Bet she made lots of noises," she accidentally lets out.
Bellatrix chokes on some water and starts spluttering.
"Anapneo," Hermione mutters with a wave of her wand. Just in case. No choking.
Bellatrix quickly recovers, before leaning her head down on the counter with a groan. "Yes. Yes she made lots of noises. Now please shut up before you ruin sex forever. Merlin I hope we don't run into the woman any time soon. I bet we will now. The fates have listened in. She'll just turn up, I just know it."
Tiggy appears with two plates of food, and Hermione accepts hers with a chuckled thank you.
Bellatrix just continues groaning.
The Mark calls Bellatrix away not long after lunch. And she leaves. Shoulders back and jaw clenched…after giving Hermione a long, tired look.
Off to take and take some more. Back to the chaos.
How cruel. Unfair.
Well. Guess Hermione's going to have to come up with something. An escape. A way out of the dark.
And of course she heads to the library.
She starts at the table, tapping her quill in thought...
And after a few hours finds herself sat in an armchair, a pile of books next to her.
Then on the sofa, in front of the fire. Mind so full it's buzzing and useless.
How? If Bellatrix needs to change her ways, wants to stop hurting herself and others…how on Earth can they make that possible? It's been hours and—
The problems are obvious. If she lets people live that would have died, then the chaos would be unimaginable. What if past-Hermione talks to Tonks, for example, and decides to go travelling instead of studying? What if Lupin tells her to go on to further study? What if…just some random muggle lives, and then— anything could happen!
And what about the torture? Hurting people? The psychological impact…if Hermione hadn't been tortured…the things in her life that changed after…
And even indirectly. Bellatrix can't change sides. Or just disappear. She leads people. Plans things.
No, they can't take the Black Queen off the chessboard without huge consequences. So how can she play the game without…
It's so hard!
And…does Bellatrix even want that? Maybe she doesn't want to bow down to Voldemort…but have her views changed completely? What does she think of muggles now? Blood purity? She'd wanted a revolution. What—
The library doors slam open, and Hermione whirls around in her seat. Oh. Just her. "Hello."
Bellatrix walks over. Sits down next to her on the sofa. "Thought you wouldn't still be up. It's gone midnight you know. Bookworm," she murmurs tiredly.
She's staring into the fire again. Hands fidgeting in her lap.
Hermione reaches for the blanket that has ended up scrunched at the end of the sofa and pulls it over them both. Leans sideways against Bellatrix. "You can never read too many books. Especially when you have a problem to figure out. Think my head's had enough of me though. It's gone fuzzy."
Bellatrix tuts and adjusts the blanket over them. "I can tell. You have ink on your face, by the way. You're a mess."
Oh dear.
Hermione pulls her face away from Bellatrix's shoulder. There's a black smudge. She wipes it away. "Sorry. Got it on you too."
Bellatrix pulls Hermione back against her. Wriggles and shifts her legs around before accioing a chair over to put her feet on. Hermione puts her feet up too. Closes her eyes with yawn.
It's so warm and comfortable…it…
A hand strokes though her hair.
She reaches blindly for Bellatrix's other hand. "I'll figure it out tomorrow, sorry. I just need a bit more time…"
She feels her head nodding. Listens to the firewood crack.
A kiss against her head.
"Just sleep, pet. I'll figure it out. I always figure it out."
Hermione relaxes in the warm silence. The world going dark as she drifts into sleep.
A sigh. "Might need you around to help keep me steady though. It's nice. Having someone to keep you steady."