Early morning at the tea shop in Shalbompur. Rahim Mia sipped his tea and said seriously:
"Boss at the office said—Rahim, your ideas are unbelievable. You're like a full-fledged Einstein!"
Rahima Begum put down her cup:
"Oh really? Then from tomorrow you stay at home. I'll go to the office. Because my idea is even bigger—last night you said, 'I won't have tea in the morning.' I thought it was some new diet. But no—you just hid the tea so I'd get tired searching for it!"
Gadai Bhai suddenly burst in, holding an old umbrella and a piece of mosquito net.
"Rahima Boudi, your husband is really a genius. But look at my idea. The world is running out of oxygen. So I'm carrying air in a pouch. The air inside makes it easy to breathe when you suck it."
Munna lifted his head from the tea:
"Gadai Bhai, didn't you attach a hand fan to your bicycle? You said if you pedal, the air would make it shoot like a rocket. But in the end, you fell into the drain. You said—the drain water was pulling like a magnet."
Gadai Bhai said seriously:
"That was a technical fault. Today's a new plan. I made a personal air conditioner with an umbrella and mosquito net. If you climb a tree and jump, the friction with the air will make cool wind. Yesterday I climbed a Krishnochura tree. I jumped. My lungi and mosquito net got stuck on a branch. I was hanging mid-air. Majid the coconut seller shouted—'Gadai Bhai, do you want to build a house there?' I said—'No, I'm just checking the tree's carbon dioxide. Taking a little cuddle down.'"
Rahim Mia got angry:
"Gadai, do you know? I gave a presentation last month. Everyone stood up and clapped!"
Munna:
"Clapped? I was sitting at the back. I saw your slide said 'Company's Future.' Behind you a mosquito flew. Everyone thought—it's not your PowerPoint, it's the mosquito's planar system."
Rahima winked:
"And listen, you said 'My name shows up on Google search.' I tried it. First came 'Who is Rahim Mia?' Second, 'When did Rahim Mia get married?' Third, 'Does Rahim Mia's wife know how to cook?' Fourth, 'Why does Rahim Mia steal lentils at night?'"
Rahim Mia paused:
"Okay, what's the biggest thing in the world?"
Rahima:
"My patience. I've tolerated you all these years, and still haven't kicked you out of the house."
Gadai Bhai:
"And mine is even bigger. My father-in-law said—Gadai, if you stay quiet, the world will be peaceful. I said—if I stay quiet, I won't get married. My wife agreed only after listening to me."
Munna:
"And me? Yesterday a girl said—you're a very good person. I thought it might turn into love. Later I realized—she meant very good... for my friend. Not for me."
Suddenly Munna pulled a long fish out of his pocket.
"Look, this fish doesn't sleep at night. At night it sings softly." He blew on the fish. The fish jumped and hit Manik's glasses. The glasses flipped over. He said—'That's not my fish, it's your imagination!'"
Gadai Bhai:
"Munna, you said about the onion—it's a secret army torpedo. Open the peel, ants come out. Last time a lady looked at the ants and hit her head on a bamboo tree."
Rahim Mia finally:
"Rahima, if I say I love you, what will you do?"
Rahima rolled her eyes:
"I'll hug you. And say—finally you said something true. All this time you argued to prove that you can't stay a minute without me."
The four were silent. Then Gadai Bhai said:
"Then we're all the same… weird."
Rahima:
"Yes. But life is dull without this weirdness."
Munna:
"Another cup of tea. If we leave without finishing this conversation, it will feel incomplete."
The tea shop owner came to serve tea—he saw the four of them silent, only eyes speaking. Everyone in the shop was staring. Because once you heard this, you couldn't stay quiet anymore.