Dear diary, I said I will start writing in my diary.. more personal things. Well starting today I will write like.. different, you will see! Well here goes my day in school as the shy student.. whew. I just remembered it is Monday.. I HATE MONDAYS! Well he goes nothing!
The first class.. English which means my crush! Well the wind was STRONG yesterday so there was sooo many leaves on the ground when I was walking to the class. I feel like I'm always judged.. made fun of in the hallways. Whenever someone laughs around me.. I just think that they are making fun of how I look.. just… I- I don't want/like to be judged by how I act or.. look like. Welp.. here goes what happened in class today. My crush was.. absent. Sad music in the background. Aw man! Well.. I'm just going to talk about the main thing that happened in that class. I was picked on this hard question.. but I was daydreaming about my crush when I got picked. Well lemme break it down.. you know how I said "Hamburger?.." in class one time.. well it was kinda like that.. I'll show you, MY point of view. Teacher: "You may now flip to page 251 in your book" Everyone: flips pages Teacher: "Okay.. takes a deep breath slowly Sophie! Will you like to answer the question to insert a hard question?" Me: "what?.. in a very quiet/shy voice Teacher: "You heard me.. getting annoyedANSWER! angry and inserts hard question." Me: "sorry.. ma'am.. but I don't- stutters know the answer.." Teacher: "You need.. raise voice a little higher in a stern voice to pay attention MORE!" After that all unfolded she picked someone else.. I was embarrassed.. very! I heard like people giggling.. I don't know if it- it was me or.. I DON'T KNOW! takes deep breath in and out. I'm sorry.. well next class I guess.. I really hope that it isn't bad.. right?!..?
Second class math. Nothing happened.. except for giggling from the bad.. I felt like I was being stared down at because what happened earlier. I need to let go of the past.. but how?!? Well I tried raising my hand.. because I knew all the answers but.. I kept on putting my hand down. This is the reason why.. well in my brain at least. What if my voice gets weird? What if they think I'm a huge nerd? What if I forget? What if the answer is wrong.. but I know it is right. What if my classmates laugh at me.. and always bring it up? What if.. I need to just shut up sometimes. Well.. sometimes/almost always hate my brain! I overthink way too much.. I need to stop.. REALLY! Well.. you stalkers reading my book finally know the real shy me.. you hate it? Well I can't control it… or can I? Well my whole entire school image s just.. blending in and being the quiet kid who kept to herself.. I don't want to change that. Well I ended up.. answer NONE of the questions that the math teacher were asking. I always hear this line.. mistakes are the way of learning. But.. what if I want to be perfect..? No mistakes.. that isn't possible.. even Albert Einstein made a mistake and everyone in his class laughed at him. Well.. I just refuse to just… be brave.. I-I just can't.
Third period.. tired of me writing in my diary yet? Yes.. too bad.. you stalker wanted to read my shy life.. so you gotta deal with it! Biology.. no problems in this class.. right?!. Well there wasn't any problem.. I just finished my assignment quickly and just.. let all my emotions from the last two class.. pour into the book I'm reading. Off topic but.. even if you HATE reading this one type of book.. read it! Try dozens.. hundreds of different types of book whether you like it or not! Like for example, I never knew how amazing graphic novels are until I tried them out! So.. try to go lower voice.. out of your comfort zone uncomfortable now well.. I can't get out of my comfort zone. Quickly switches topics. So uhh.. next period?
Lunch! All my worries and all the hatred I put on myself disappears when I am with my best friend. I don't like using "bff" cause some friends are not forever.. just time to time until they get bored and move on to someone.. new. Well uh.. uncomfortable so switches topics YET AGAIN! My friend birthday.. is next week.. I think! Well I'm going to be at her birthday party.. unless something comes up and I can't make it.. I am praying nothing happens and I get to be with her on her birthday! Well we talked about random stuff.. I don't feel shy whenever I'm with her.. I'm not gay/lesbian.. I SUPPORT THOUGH! It just friends.. are just there for you., like you know? Lunch was short saying it is short because I don't know what to write no more so ye- so next period!
Physical education.. you might be wondering why I'm not like "oh no! P.E. I gotta get out of here!" Well.. I don't mind it that much.. unless people are looking at how fat I am. I don't like that AT ALL! Well we had to run laps around the track.. not so bad at least it is not like.. kickball. I HATE that game so much! Well.. I ran laps around the track. End of that class.. yep.. I'm going to cut that short.. the whole entire time I was daydreaming about my crus- ermm I mean.. you know what? Forget it.
Art. I look forward because this teacher.. won't judge a book by its cover but how the book is.. childish? Dramatic? Well you know how a book is! Super low voicethat is panicked right?!? I drew.. this one person.. just having a light shining toward them.. making them the center of attention.. eyes watching it.. the person tries to hide in his/her arms.. but fails.. that is how I basically felt so I decided to draw that! Ps the teacher asked me "are things at home don't all right?!?" I wanted to burst into tears.. laughter or sad.. both. Well things at home is doing all right.. it is just.. school. Well I feel uncomfortable saying these so next period I go!
Study hall! Well I'm writing right now in the study hall.. fun fact I wrote like one thousand, one hundred and nine words already! Woah.. writing in a different way.. feels different but better to express myself.. it is my diary so I can pour all my angry.. frustration into this! Well I finished homework.. and school things. That is basically it.. study hall is like my safe space.. no one staring at you.. only minding their own business! Well next period.
Creative writing. My hands are cramping from double writing.. get it? Cause I wrote in my diary and.. you know creative writing?!? okay I'll be quiet. Well we had to write a essay.. end of that.. well a essay about the ecosystem.. I kinda liked writing that essay! Well next and last period!
Spanish.. can I skip this one? Yes? No? Well it is the country of freedom.. I have free rights! So I skip this one!
End of the school.. or is it.. I meant to say end of the school day. Well I'm praying that tomorrow is better or.. is it not? Well that is an end of this day! BYEE!