Smack!
Even's teeth shook with the first hit.
Smack!!
The world turned upside down for him with the second hit.
SMACK!!
The third kick landed straight on his nose.
There was a wet cracking sound—like a dry branch breaking under a heavy boot. He felt the taste of his own warm and salty blood on his tongue. It was flowing into his mouth.
Is my nose broken? He was watching this cruelty like a spectator. If it gets flatter, he thought, maybe he will finally look like the 'pig' they call him.
Even did not feel any pain. At least, not that sharp pain. When someone carries a 100 kg burden of insult like him, their nerves eventually give up. He was not brave; he had just become numb. He was a big mountain of fat. He had learned that if he stayed still, the fall ended faster.
"Look at him once," a rough voice mocked. It was Vasco. Even could clearly hear the sound of him cracking his knuckles. "Hey Piggy, did I break your brain, or is your processing slow?"
"I... I am sorry," Even whispered somehow. The words felt like rough stones in his throat.
Why are you saying sorry? A small voice screamed inside his head.
He tripped you!He started it! But Even pushed that voice down. If he listened to that voice, he got beaten more.
"You are sorry?" Vasco came closer. His shadow covered him. "So the 'pig' has a tongue too! I thought you only knew how to grunt."
"You will kill him, darling!"
The voice was like honey poured over broken glass. Even opened one eye a little. The eyelid was swollen and blue. Mary was standing there, leaning against the damp wall of the washroom. She was beautiful—the kind of beauty that feels scary. Beside her stood the other 'Queen Bees' of the college. The smell of their expensive perfume was fighting the bad smell of urine and bleaching powder in the bathroom.
"Let him die," Mary laughed. "The sweeper will sweep him away with the rest of the trash. Really Vasco, you are ruining your shoes by kicking this 'thing'."
Vasco stopped.
He was a bit tired from hitting Even. He looked at him with a strange, cold look. "Now tell me Piggy, how did you dare to step on my shadow? Do you think you are equal to me?"
"No," Even whispered. His forehead was touching the dirty, cold tiles of the bathroom. "I didn't do it on purpose. It was an accident. The hallway was very crowded..."
"Are you giving excuses?" Vasco's voice became lower. "Do you think I want to hear logic from a farm animal?"
He took a crushed cigarette pack from his pocket. Mary immediately lit the lighter. In that quiet room, the sound of the lighter was like a gunshot. Vasco took a long puff. In the dim light, the tip of the cigarette turned bright red.
"You know," Vasco said suddenly in a very soft voice, as if he was kind. "I am a very kind person. Since you said sorry, I am thinking... I will forgive you."
Even's heart shook. A little hope appeared in his mind.
Forgiven?! For a moment, the damp walls did not seem so dark. The sound of water dripping from the tap did not feel like a mockery anymore. "Really!! Thank you... thank you so much, senior."
Even smiled. It was the saddest smile of his life.
Just then, he heard the sound. The sharp metallic sound of a trouser zipper.
Zip!!
"Really," Vasco said mockingly, his eyes dancing with cruel joy. "But look, I have a problem. The toilet is over there, and I feel very tired."
First, Even felt something warm on his shoulder. Then it soaked his torn shirt. He froze like a stone. His own blood and Vasco's urine mixed together and flowed through the cracks in the tiles.
Is this the price?Do I have to sell my self-respect like this just to get a little relief from physical pain? Even so, it was a good deal. There was much more blood in his body than self-respect.
"Ah... peace!" Vasco sighed as he pulled up his zipper. He looked at Even with annoyance. "That was fun. But my cigarette is finished, and I don't like throwing trash everywhere."
He looked at Even. He didn't have to say anything else. Even knew the rule. "Open the trash can, Piggy."
Even's jaw became tight, but he followed the order. He opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue—just like a loyal dog waiting for food. He saw the red tip of the cigarette coming down.
Don't scream. If you scream, Mary will laugh. If you scream, Vasco will be happier. Become a stone. Just be a pig.
The fire of the cigarette burnt his tongue. The smell of burnt meat reached his nose. Even did not move. He swallowed the rest of the cigarette. It felt like he swallowed a lump of burning hate that tore through his chest.
Vasco slapped Even's cheek. His hand was still wet. "Good boy. See you in class tomorrow."
They walked out of the room laughing. Even stayed lying on that floor. The sound of water dripping from the tap was coming—drip!
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
His life was worth less than that half-burnt cigarette. But at least the beating ended for today.
***
The hot afternoon sun was hitting the modern city. The tall buildings made of steel and glass were like big mirrors. They made the air even hotter. The pitch on the road was starting to melt. Even though it was winter, the city noise and smoke made the cold disappear. With the expensive cars and busy people, the city felt like a big, hungry monster.
Even was completely wet even in this cold. He felt like a rotten rat coming out of a drain. He walked through the busy crowd on the sidewalk. He did not need to push anyone to move; the terrible smell from his body and his torn clothes were enough. When people saw him, they moved away like they saw a dead animal.
Shame or self-respect?
He had thrown those feelings in the trash long ago. Those luxuries were not for a 'pig' like him.
Maybe he should have taken a quiet road to go home. But he usually stayed hidden inside four walls, so he did not know the small streets of this city. He was forced to walk through this crowd and face their hate and insults.
To be honest, his life was not always like a drain. This fat body, this ugly face with pimples, and being a 'punching bag' for seniors—this was not his fate before.
Everything changed the day his whole family died in an accident. After that, he locked himself in a dark room. For months, he did not see sunlight. He stopped moving and ate only junk food. Slowly, he became a big pile of meat.
And those ugly marks on his face?
Those were the results of bad websites on the internet. He stayed in that dark world for a long time and made his mind and hands dirty. He wanted to be normal. He wanted to be free from this dirt.
Because he wanted to be normal, he started going to college again. But this try made his life even worse.
Ha!
What a sad joke!
He said he wanted to leave these bad habits, but after this insult, he would go home and watch those bad videos again. He had no other way to hate himself more.
...
Even thought about his sad life and reached his expensive house. It is a modern two-story villa. It is made of glass and concrete. There is a garden in front, but it is now full of weeds. The house looks very rich, but he lives like a skeleton inside it.
"I am living in luxury!" Even laughed to himself. He did not think more because thinking was useless for him now.
He turned the door handle and went inside. The automatic doorbell rang loudly. It told everyone that someone had entered.
Then he saw his aunt coming out. She looked very angry. Even thought she would hit him today. Usually, she ignores him and does not even look at him. He wondered why she was so angry today.
But when she saw him, her anger turned into hate. She looked away and said quietly, "Oh! Even, it's you!"
Even?!
He was shocked. He looked at her with surprise. Suddenly, he remembered—besides being a 'pig', he has a name. His mother gave him this name with love.
His name is Even.
It had been many years!
Now he is 20. When he was 5, he lost his family. Since then, his name was buried with them. After 15 years, he heard his name from his aunt. He felt a sharp pain in his chest. He forgot when someone last called him by his name. He had deleted his own identity.
His aunt looked at him with hate and walked away. Even did not say anything. He started walking up the stairs with his broken body and mind. Just then, the doorbell rang loudly again.
Ring!
Ring!
Vasco entered the house.