Yeah, I'm a gangster, but still, I got flavor
Without a gun and a badge, what do ya got?
A sucka in a uniform waitin' to get shot
By me
- N.W.A., Fuck tha Police
///
5 / 3 / 2016
"Can you teach me how to cook?"
Maruki turns to me, "Sorry?"
"My meals were prepared for me by our housekeepers. I never needed to learn how to cook for myself, back then."
"W-well, okay...," he clears his throat. "Is there any meal in particular you'd like to start off with?"
I rub my hand along the back of my head. "I...don't know what I could start with."
He gets up off his chair and rolls up his sleeves. "Well. We could try paella. That's what I made for my first meal."
"Never heard of it."
"Really? I thought for sure you'd have tried it at least once. It's a very delicious rice dish from Spain, specifically Valencia. What helps make it special is it's cooked in this massive frying pan, suitable for a whole family."
"So it's a big meal..."
"Yeah. But that means we can save it for days. I specialize in paella mixta. Uses up a lot of meat, seafood, vegetables, etcetera."
I wince, "How hard is it gonna be?"
"Not gonna be easy... but I think you'll do alright."
"God help me."
He smiles, pats me on the shoulder, "You'll do fine! Believe in yourself." I laugh, very very loudly, which startles him a little. "You've got the spirit, at least. We start tonight."
"Tonight? What time?"
"Eight PM. Gotta let the meat defrost."
"Okay. Okay," I breathe, hyping myself up. "I'm ready."
"You'll do fine. I promise."
.
.
.
Two hours and a helluva lot of wasted tools later, and I'm able to taste test my first paella.
"Goddammit."
He takes a spoonful, shoves it in his mouth, "It's not that bad."
"It's not anything. It tastes like cardboard."
"No, it's not, it tastes like rice. Just rice. My first one tasted horrible," he laughs, "Rumi was so mortified she slammed her hands down on the table. Added too much paprika and oregano. Yours is at least edible."
"What did I even do wrong...?" I groan, slumping in a chair.
"I think it needs a little more salt, and spices," takes a bite out of some of the meat. "Also, your beef isn't fully cooked."
"It isn't?"
"No. It isn't brown enough. There's still some pale bits here and there. I think we didn't let it defrost, long enough. Not very healthy, all things considered."
I exhale, "I knew I'd be garbage at this."
"It's still perfectly salvageable. When we reheat this we'll add some salt, a few more spices, mix it all up a bit, and see how it goes."
Maruki's just a big goddamn ray o' sunshine and it kinda pisses me off. But hell, I'd rather him than Dad. "What other meals do you think I can do?"
"Mmm, let's try something a little more basic next time. I think you'd do better with tonkatsu. Get some practice in heating up meat. Though, it's pork, not beef..."
"What about that miso soup you made? Can I try my hand at that?"
He smiles, "Later on. Sometimes you've gotta learn to run before you walk."
"It was really delicious. You could sell the recipe, start a restaurant."
He chuckles a little, "I'm terrible at that kind of thing. Can't deal with multiple customers at once. I'm at my best when I work with people one at a time. I get so shy."
"Shy?"
He rolls up his sleeves, starts washing some of the utensils we used in the sink. "When I was your age, I couldn't even talk to people without stuttering and getting all anxious. Rumi was the only exception, 'cause she was a childhood friend of mine."
"Thought you were high school sweethearts."
"I knew her before high school," he blushes. "Elementary. We just got together in high school on a whim, I dunno. But anyway, she'd always try to get me to talk to people. Open up, be more assertive. I'd always just let people step over me because I didn't wanna be a bother to anybody. I'd like to say I'm a little better than I was before...but, I don't think I am by much. I still get really worked up in crowds."
"Well, I'd say you're doing fine," I take another bite out of the paella. "There's a violent criminal in your house and you're talking with him like he's any other ordinary person."
He turns to face me, "Most criminals are ordinary people, Hikawa-kun. Like that gym teacher in your school."
Ordinary? "The guy abused his students. Doubt he's that ordinary."
"He may have had that darkness inside him, but he was able to at least act kind of normally in front of his peers and students. Otherwise he wouldn't have gotten away with it for so long."
"Or he had help," I groan.
"I can see that happening, too. His presence at Shujin was important for the school's PR. But...," he sighs. "How've you been, with everything that's happening? God, how's your school taking all of it?"
"Keeping my head low. Everybody's all scrambling to figure things out. Inspectors and cops sometimes in the halls, questioning students about his abuses. Can only imagine Kobayakawa's got his hands full."
He groans, "I sincerely hope he wasn't protected by the other teachers. It's disgusting, what he did to his students."
I remember him squealing like a pig, my heel pressing against his Adam's apple, seeing him shit and piss all over himself at the sight of a gun in his face, "Too nice a word."
.
.
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5 / 7 / 2016
Saturday.
Shibuya's underground passage hustles and bustles and I let myself be swallowed by the crowds.
Not a morning person so I'm yawning and my posture's ass and I'm swaying a little from side to side. But a voice coming from behind me brings me out of my dizziness.
"It looks like you're attending school seriously."
Girl with brown hair, auburn eyes. Memories of a rooftop. A name, Makoto Niijima. She approaches me so casually it almost catches me off-guard, and she has some sorta fake sing-song cadence to her voice which sets all alarms blaring in the back of my head.
"You also seem pretty close with Takamaki-san, if I do say so. Judging from your interactions on the rooftop the other day, at least."
I yawn, murmuring, "Dunno about that," as I try to inch myself a little further away from her.
"You've just transferred here, though...well. I suppose it's just that you two really click. I heard she was a victim of Mr. Kamoshida, too, but was that all there was to it...?"
I narrow my eyes, shrugging, "Ask her."
She smiles. It's a somewhat smug smile, one she's probably used in this sorta situation a thousand times before. "Either way. Closer inspection should clear everything up."
Train pulls up and I board it, her following a few feet behind. Tired enough to not give it much heed. But not enough to not be annoyed.
.
.
.
I informed Maruki that I'd be slightly late coming home. Can't rely on him to keep cooking for me.
Once I graduate I'm basically on my own. No allowance from Dad to sustain me, the reputation I've garnered hanging over my head all the while. Meaning as of today, I have to restart my whole goddamn life as a member of the proletariat.
And of all the pamphlets in Shibuya detailing what part-time jobs are available, only two seem feasible for me right now.
One's a coffee shop by the name of Leblanc, in the Yongen-Jaya district. Pays about ¥7,000 on a nightly basis. Pretty good pay. But it's doubtful I can sustain something like that; time for homework and studying and all. The other job seems more flexible, generally speaking. But goddamn it'll be embarrassing.
Pamphlet's got a bigass flower on the front cover and a happy-looking couple with a bouquet in the corner.
RAFFLESIA Hiring Now!
Looking for charming staff!
Time: Day or night
Wage: ¥3,200+ daily
Shibuya Underground Mall
I dial the number on the upper left-hand corner.
"Hi, this is the flower shop Rafflesia. Are you looking to order some flowers?"
"Hello, er...my name is Kazuya Hikawa. I saw the pamphlet you posted and I'd like to work as a part-timer."
"Ah, I see. In that case, I can get you started right away. As for what days, we can work around your schedule. Come straight to the store on a day you're available."
"Can I get started today?" I ask her.
"Oh, sure! Just head down the underground mall in Shibuya station, and you'll find our shop! We're right next to a Triple Seven down below."
The Devil working in a flower shop. Would make for a hilarious book. They'll prolly fire me the minute they see me, though. No charm whatsoever.
Someone's following me.
.
.
.
Someone's following me, and I know it. Every time I turn my back around I know someone's tailing me like they wanna sell me something.
Well. Hopefully they enjoy sitting wherever the hell they are for like an hour.
I bow to the lady managing the store. Shorter than me, looks to be in her thirties. Brown hair in a ponytail.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Hanasaki, the owner of this shop. I'll do everything myself today, so you can just observe me and try to learn the ropes."
"Thank you for having me."
"Well. Let's begin!" she says cheerfully.
Makes me put on an apron and a new brown shirt and for the next like thirty minutes I'm tending to a bunch of different flowers, taking pics of them and reverse-image searching them to find out what the hell I'm looking at. All the while that horrible niggling feeling still spreads from the back of my neck. There's one person I could point to who's following me right now. But it's just conjecture. Haven't seen anything out of her the past few days. And if she is following me she wouldn't make a very big show of it.
Thankfully no customer comes in and has me be more than an observer. All of them thus far, predictably, are pretty old or at the very least mature. But someone approaches and undoes my expectations for the rest of the day.
"Ah, Okumura-san!"
"Hello, Hanasaki-san."
Half of her face is forehead. But hell, she's pretty cute regardless. Fluffy & light brown hair, almond eyes and a small but plain smile. She wears a pink turtleneck sweater, white leggings, and brown leather shoes. The name Okumura is familiar to me, but I can't pin down exactly why.
"What brings you here?"
"Oh, my plants aren't looking too healthy, so I came here to buy some nutrients for them."
"I think I have just what you need, just wait right here..."
Thankfully she keeps her distance, waiting outside the flower shop, though she catches my eye every now and again. I've the distinct feeling I've seen her somewhere before, in passing. Is she from Shujin? I think I'd remember an outfit like hers. Is she the one who's been following me? No. She wouldn't appear in front of me so brazenly, if that's the case. Or maybe she's trying to mess with me, this adorable fluffy-haired girl. Assert her dominance?
Who'd have known beating the hell out of my asshole gym teacher would've made me so paranoid--?
"Thank you very much!" I realize too late she already received the nutrients while I had my little internal freak-out. The merry way she smiles almost convinces me she has no ulterior motives, but who the hell knows at this point?
What the hell am I even doing anymore?
The girl bows happily, thanking Hanasaki-san again with the nutrients in a brown paper bag. Hanasaki-san waves her off and I let myself breathe easy, turning back to the plants and getting my phone out to take more pictures--
"Oh, Niijima-chan, what brings you here?"
--and I feel the unstoppable urge to assert my dominance.
I rush out the shop a little too briskly for my taste and I see Makoto Niijima standing there like a deer in headlights, with some kinda shonen manga in her hands, covering half her face. She doesn't see me because Fluffy Girl's chatting her up, and because she doesn't wanna be rude she keeps talking even though she clearly looks like she's in the middle o' something. Calmly I walk back inside the shop and decide to work there for another hour or so, with Hanasaki-san none the wiser.
I receive my pay (¥3,800, because I stayed a little longer than usual), Hanasaki-san thanks me for spending extra time in the shop on my first day, and as far as I could tell on my way home, Niijima's absconded.
The hell said it's unhealthy to be paranoid?
.
.
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5 / 9 / 2016
Monday.
I see Kawakami talking to that kid whose fingers I'd broken back in all the chaos with Kamoshida. He looks a little uneasy, but stands up and makes his way out the door, as though ordered to. His fingers are still bandaged.
Takamaki turns to me, arms folded over the back of her chair, "You should know that the student council president's after you."
"I know."
"You know?"
"She followed me to my part-time job, yesterday," I groan.
"All the way to your job...?"
"How'd you know?"
"I saw her talking to Yoshizawa. And I saw her yesterday going around the hallway with a book in her hands, tailing you. Kind of obvious."
Something about bringing Yoshizawa into this annoys me. "I'll let it be for now."
"For now?"
"Don't wanna draw too much attention to myself, honestly. I'll deal with it as it comes. She'll prolly get bored soon enough."
"You're not gonna try anything?"
"I'd rather not go into Palaces unless I have to."
"Just be careful."
"Thanks for letting me know," I bring my bag up to my shoulder. "You be careful, too. Only a matter of time before she brings either of us in for questioning."
"Right. What's your job, by the way?"
I can't find it in myself to look at her when I admit, "Flower shop."
Takamaki makes a pffft sound out her mouth and chuckles, "Flowers?"
"It was the only one I could find," I groan.
"It suits you reaaal well," she says cheekily. "Maybe I could order some? Thinking of decorating my room a little..."
I march my way out the door while telling her, "Shibuya, underground mall. Look for Rafflesia."
.
.
.
This time I try to be a little more unpredictable about my movements. Niijima's easier to track now; find the girl with the manga covering her face. Even in a crowd her appearance is plain as day.
First I go to Big Bang Burger, take that challenge everyone's freaking out about and immediately regret it once I realize they increased the size of the burger since I took it last. The large ass burger fills me up so much I prolly won't have to eat dinner tonight, nor breakfast nor lunch tomorrow, but goddammit it isn't enough and I won't give Niijima an inch here.
She sat in the corner the whole goddamn time, taking notes and covering her face with the manga like she thought she was still inconspicuous.
God, she'd be terrible sneaking around in a Palace. Though what the hell right do I have to say about sneaking around?
I go into like five different stores and spend like an hour in each one, mostly just wandering around and looking at stuff. I even go into the goddamn jewelry shop and start eyeing every single piece in stock, like any of 'em would suit my ugly mug. I go to some karaoke place and sing terribly until I break my goddamn larynx. I go to the arcade above ground and shoot things in some gun game nobody seemed to be playing at the time. I watch some three-hour long horror movie with boring characters centered around a bullshit story with a mad elephant and a series of death traps.
Every goddamn time she follows me around.
She stood outside the jewelry shop while I looked at shit. She sat in the corner of the karaoke place, listening to my awful singing the whole way through. She watched Pach-Saw with me in some far off seat in the crowd and even I could tell the movie freaked her out. And not many people even went to see Pach-Saw, so what the hell else was she doing there?
I decide to work at the flower shop in the evening, messaging Maruki I'd be eating out that night, that I'd have to learn how to cook spaghetti some other time. At some point that feeling of being followed stops ringing in my neck, and I'm able to make it home without being spied on the rest of the day.
I study for the rest of the night, wondering how the hell to go about this with exams around the corner.
.
.
.
5 / 10 / 2016
What do I get when I try to eat my lunch in the tranquility of the courtyard.
"I told you before. We don't know anything."
Takamaki and Niijima, discussing matters near a couple vending machines. I shove myself behind a nearby wall; lucky for me neither saw me even in the slightest.
"Why do you think I'm here to question you?" Niijima asks. "Could it be that you're hiding something? My ears are always open to the troubles of my peers, you know."
God, this is already turning pear-shaped. I'm about to step in, involve myself and maybe regret it. But Takamaki's bolder than I expected.
"You're really that hungry for a good letter of recommendation? Of course you are. No one would take on your annoying job if they weren't."
Niijima actually sounds a little pissed. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Takamaki decides she can be straightforward when she wants to be, too. "You're student council president, right? Wouldn't you have known about Kamoshida?"
"Of course I didn't know," Niijima's tone takes a bizarre shift; didn't think I'd ever hear desperation outta her. "He was honestly a good teacher until that day..."
"Oh, but you always take the teacher's side. That's what a good student council president does, right?"
"Then...," the tone in her voice shifts, sounds similar to mine, "what about you? What did you do for your friend? You were much closer to her than I was. So how did you help?"
I'm so sure Takamaki's about to claw her eyes out that I step out of my hiding spot, something I'm even surer of when Takamaki cries out, "Don't you dare bring Shiho into this, you bitch!"
That proud tone of voice suddenly turns pained, anguished, "There's no need to shout."
"Takamaki." Both of them turn around. I take a bite outta the bread I bought from the school store. "You ready? Exam tomorrow's on trigonometry. Got my notes prepped back in the classroom."
Tensions diffuse then and there. Niijima gives me a knowing and cold look, and I let nothing inside me show.
Takamaki walks past her, but not before giving her the stink-eye, and trudges to my side.
She huffs, whirling back to face Niijima. "At the end of the day. If someone drove Kamoshida to jump off the top of that roof, I'd be calling them a hero. Better than people like you and me," she gives a tormented and furious smile, "who kept our fucking heads in the sand until it was too late."
Suddenly she loops an arm around mine, and pulls me away, back into school. Tears stream down her face, but she's too enraged to sink into her sadness.
We leave Makoto Niijima standing there in the courtyard.
.
.
.
"How the hell is x not five?"
"You added before you multiplied," I tell her.
After classes she and I huddled in a cafe somewhere in Shibuya, deciding to take this time to actually study. Her eyes are red and she's still pissed off beyond all measure, but she's managed to temper it well enough.
"I can't deal with this shit."
"You'll have to. Best to not draw attention to yourself and get reasonable grades."
She hisses, "Honestly, I'm garbage at everything except English. It'll be weird if my grades start going up, if anything..."
"Are you in the mood to keep studying, or do you just wanna order something?"
With a sigh, she presses on the little bell in the center of the table, and orders a set of buffalo wings. Afterwards, she plants her head down on the table, using her arms as a cover.
"She was right," she groans, "as much as I hate to admit it. I didn't do anything to help Shiho, and I was much closer to the situation than she ever was. Every time I saw his eyes crawl all over me, I just wanted to hide in a hole forever. I was so scared I didn't even want to see what Shiho had to deal with. And she was so right I just ran away like a bitch. God, I'm so fucking infuriated."
"Her only counter to that was a whataboutism. What about you? What did you do for your friend? Doesn't exactly exclude her from her own fuck-ups."
"Yeah. But there's no way I can excuse myself either. I failed Shiho. I'm just as culpable as everyone else who neglected Kamoshida's abuses."
"You were a victim, too. He was pressuring you to sleep with him for her sake. Niijima's just desperate to one up you. It's called victim-blaming." I shake my head. "But there's no use mulling over it, now."
She shakes her head, "What're you gonna do?"
"About what?"
"Exams. Niijima. Whatever."
"Well...I can take things easy today, since," I do a once over on the whole cafe, "she's decided not to follow me for now. Prolly gonna study. Find out what her big deal is after exams."
"You willing to wait that long?"
"If there's one thing about myself I wanna be proud of, it's my grades."
Buffalo wings are plopped down in front of Takamaki by an exceptionally handsome waiter.
Calls me a "Nerd," as she grabs a napkin and bites down on a wing like she's biting down on Niijima's throat.
.
.
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5 / 16 / 2016
Monday again.
Exams came from the 11th to 14th, exams went. Grades haven't come out yet and I'm pretty sure I didn't study as much as I should have, so I'm either average or low on the totem pole. But more important matters lie ahead.
I spy with my little eye the student council president gesturing to an open door, with Sakamoto reluctantly entering inside.
I made it a point to work at the flower shop every single day, even through exams. True to form, she followed me around, but left after about thirty minutes or so. Couldn't let following me around risk her future, it seemed.
It's lunchtime, so I've got only a limited window before she tails me again by the end of the day.
By the time I've found who I'm looking for, half an hour's passed. Thirty minutes left. Shouldn't take too long at all. Evidently she has lunch on the bench, in the courtyard.
"Excuse me, are you Sonoko Takeuchi?" I ask her.
According to Shujin's website, she's the head of the Newspaper Club. A demure-looking girl with red glasses and long black hair. I need to learn as much about Niijima as I can. No descriptions about how smart or hardworking she is on Shujin's crappy website.
Takeuchi turns, expression impassive. "Who wants to know?"
"My name is Kazuya Hikawa. Do you have a minute?"
"The transfer student of Class-D?" she grins a little. "Why are you looking for me?"
"I've a few questions regarding Makoto Niijima."
"Our student council president. What makes you think I would answer those questions, just like that?" she asks, a little snootily.
"I don't." From out my pocket I show her most of my salary from the past week. "Not without an incentive, at least."
She smirks. "You think a member of the Newspaper Club can be bought off so easily?"
Two more thousand-yen bills.
She takes them immediately, and mulls over what she knows as she plies through the paper, "Very studious. Rather straight-laced, doesn't like to mince words. Sister's a public prosecutor."
Knew that name sounded familiar. "What's she like with the teachers and students?"
"Teachers like her. Students, not so much. Though the feeling's mutual on her end. She isn't particularly close to anyone. Hasn't even had a boyfriend, as far as I can tell. If you're trying to get together with her, good luck. She's hard on delinquents and slackers."
"Why don't the students like her?"
"Kind of a hardass. I've worked with her, interviewed her every now and again for the paper. She's nice when you're on her good side. But she's kinda...ineffectual."
"Ineffectual?"
"Don't get me wrong. She's a very hard worker, and she comes down hard on anyone in student council who isn't doing their job. But she's distant. Doesn't really talk to the students much. And when she does she exudes this kinda Mother/Smother-ish energy which can come off as condescending."
Condescending sounds about right. "How'd she even get elected?"
"Well, the previous stuco prez was pretty bad at handling things like events and shit. Plus he had this reputation for being a two-timer, which caused a lot of drama. Niijima in comparison seemed like a breath of fresh air. Always got good grades, seemed up to whatever task teachers had in store, was friendly when she wasn't scary. But, well. I'd say she's done a good job, but..."
"But what?"
Her eyes flash, "Gonna cost extra."
Two more thousand dollar bills. "Rumors going around. After the whole Kamoshida debacle, I've heard people say she knew what had been goin' on behind the scenes."
"Think she did?"
"Rumors weren't exactly widespread," Newspaper Girl sighs. "Even I didn't know anything about Kamoshida's abuses. Really, I think they're too hard on her. But she doesn't do herself much favors."
"Heard she kisses ass."
"Wouldn't say that. The teachers love her because she's diligent, and a lot of her decisions in student council were geared towards encouraging discipline in the students. She's polite and strict and gets good grades. She's all prim and proper, but I personally think it has to do more with upbringing than anything else."
"Right. Sister's a prosecutor." Meaning parents might be cops.
"You gonna confront her over her following you all over the place?"
God, "You saw her, too?"
"Rumors are going around she's interested in you. Or she's just trying to find out if you've got a connection to Kamoshida. Or she's really invested in that manga she's carrying around, and just so happens to be walking right behind you while she does it. Word has it the Principal's having her do it."
"Kobayakawa?"
"He and Kamoshida were pretty close associates. Pretty sure Kobayakawa wants to figure out the truth behind him jumping right off the roof. Smart of him to pick Niijima to do it. She'll probably lay off once she finds evidence on you."
"Why am I her primary target?"
"A good number of people believe you had something to do with Kamoshida. Too many things line up too neatly. But honestly?" she turns to face me directly. "I really couldn't care less how you did what you did. I'm just glad that sick bastard is gone. Criminal or not, you got rid of him. It'd suck if you were expelled because of that."
"You say this, yet I had to pay you to get this much outta you."
"Can't reach out to the truth on an empty stomach, Hikawa-san," she smiles. "I really am rooting for you, though. Anybody else, I wouldn't have told them this. Even if they paid me."
"I should be so lucky. Thanks for the info," I tell her, as I leave her behind. "And I didn't do anything to Kamoshida."
I can feel her smile, though my back is to her, "Keep telling yourself that."
.
.
.
After classes Niijima follows me again, as diligent as ever. She tries to hide herself among the students in the halls, in the crowds of the subway. That same manga covering half her face.
On my phone I find more information about her and her family. Namely her sister. The woman who'd prosecuted me those years back. Apparently their mother died when Niijima was still very young, and their father was a cop killed in the line of duty. Unfortunate for them both. Will have to use this info when the time comes.
Because she's still following me and she'll likely show no signs of stopping until she finds something interesting to report back to Kobayakawa.
So I decide I'll confront her. I'll make sure she has no choice but to tell me what the hell is going on, exactly.
I take one foot off the platform and lean forward as a train comes--
Right on time, she pulls me back. "What were you thinking!? You could have gotten yourself killed!"
I smirk at her, "Gotcha."
"Wh-what...!?"
"Thank you for saving my life, Makoto Niijima, esteemed student council president of Shujin Academy," I say as I wrench my arm away from her. "As a token of my appreciation I'd like to take you out somewhere. Preferably the Big Bang Burger down the street."
"Wait, wait, what are you even--?"
"There's simply so much we have to discuss. You must be tired from following me around these past few days, aren't you? Might as well reinvigorate ourselves by chowing down on a little fast food, don't you think?"
"Y-you knew I was...?"
I grab her book out her hands and spread it wide, masking my nose and mouth and shouting out loud, "OH DON'T LOOK AT ME, I'M SO STEALTHY NOBODY COULD POSSIBLY NOTICE ME SNEAKING AROUND SOME DELINQUENT AS HE WORKS AT A FLOWER SHOP ALL DAY."
She's blushing furiously as she grabs the book back, and opens her mouth to try and say something as a retort, but I don't let her.
"What's say we have a bite, no? I insist. After all. I believe you share my frustration at running around in circles, not knowing what the hell the other person's gonna do next. Wouldn't you agree?"
She's beyond pissed off. So much so her hands have balled up into fists. Scowling at me, she says, "Alright then. Let's go."
.
.
.
Niijima doesn't order anything. I order some fries, a soft drink, and a burger. She glares at me the whole time, even as I down one fry after another.
"Why've you been following me?"
"I think you know perfectly well why."
"Course I do. Just wanted to hear it from the horse's mouth. That said. Why are you so concerned over what happened to Kamoshida?"
She raises her brow at me, "I wouldn't say it's concern." Then she sighs. "To be perfectly honest. I can't say I would miss him if he did die. He was a sexual predator who used innocent women and children to satisfy his baser urges. But if he made a confession under duress, then his civil rights were violated."
Civil rights for a rapist. "Why assume somebody put him under duress at all? Maybe he just had a manic episode."
She smiles a little smugly, "I've read up on your past records, Hikawa-san. I know you're a smart man. So you and I both know that people like Kamoshida don't just change overnight, and take such drastic action, without some kind of...catalyst, to his behavior."
Might as well get all this over with. "Of all the people who could do such a thing, why am I your prime suspect?"
Makoto Niijima pauses for a moment, pursing her lips, as though she's trying to figure out how to go about the next few minutes.
Thoughtful. Controlled. Trying to restrain anything stupid.
That won't do.
I'll poke the tiger a little more, and see what comes out its mouth. "You hear what they say about you, don't you? The other students, I mean."
She narrows her eyes, "What do they say, Hikawa-san? I'm dying to hear it."
"They say you spend a lot of your time kissing ass and trying to make teachers proud of you," and she looks furious, but I don't let her even say a word. "Multiple students I've heard say they believe you knew about Suguru Kamoshida's abuses, but did nothing about it."
She balls her hands up into fists and reiterates clearly, as she had days ago, "Of course I didn't know."
"First few days in, I saw volleyball trainees looking like they'd come from a goddamn warzone. I find it very difficult to believe you didn't at least hear a rumor or two. You didn't do shit about Kamoshida. But you've been following me for the past week and a half. So what the hell happened? Are you so desperate to salvage your reputation that you'd pin accusations of violence on a delinquent?"
"Pinning accusations on you?" she smirks. "Do you think yourself an innocent in all this?"
"Of course. After all, I've done nothing wrong."
She leans back in her seat, folds her arms and crosses her legs and I know I've got her. "Well. There are multiple factors as to why you're the prime suspect. One of the first being that, on the day itself, you immediately ran to Shiho Suzui and attempted to save her from falling off the top of the roof."
I narrow my eyes at her, "What the hell's that supposed to indicate?"
"I mean no offense when I bring her up. In fact, I thought that what you did was rather heroic."
I smirk at her. "For a delinquent?"
"No," she sighs. "I was glad somebody, anybody had attempted to save her at all. What Kamoshida had done to her was unforgivable."
God, who cares about forgiveness. "Anybody would've done the same in my shoes. Girl jumping off the top of the roof, and you'd just stand still? The hell does this have to do with connecting me to Kamoshida?"
"Shiho Suzui is a smaller part of a larger puzzle," Niijima says. "Multiple members of the volleyball team, whether juniors or seniors, have reported to me that they were approached by both Ryuji Sakamoto and Kasumi Yoshizawa on the day of the volleyball meet, many weeks ago. Those members claimed that the two of them were working with you, that you three confronted Kamoshida at the end of the day. Multiple accounts of the three of you and him in an altercation, at the front doors of the school."
"Sakamoto and Yoshizawa don't want anything to do with me."
"Interesting. Sakamoto had said the exact same thing, when I brought him into the student council office. He said you were the Devil. That I should stay clear of you. That the second I get in your way, you'll do everything in your power to take me out. How the tides change. No honor among delinquents, it seems."
"Those were his words, huh?"
"Yoshizawa had a similar opinion. She pleaded with me to avoid you. She said you were dangerous. How do you build such a reputation with your peers, in your first few weeks alone? Of course... there's also another person I spoke to regarding you. Does the name Yuuki Mishima ring a bell?"
I narrow my eyes, "Heard something about a kid named Nishima being Kamoshida's gofer."
"Funny. Because when I brought your name up to him, he looked terrified. Even when he denied that his fingers had been broken by you. Interestingly enough, said injury occurred the day Shiho Suzui jumped off the roof of the school. What a happy little coincidence."
I glare at her. "This is all circumstantial evidence, you know."
"But all the circumstances tie together far too neatly for their own good. There's also the fact that Kamoshida leaked your criminal records, and planned to expel you, so you undoubtedly have motive. And taking the incident surrounding your arrest into account...I think all these things point to only one possible conclusion." Her eyes are firm and fiery now, and she finishes her whole spiel with, "Don't you agree, Hikawa-san?"
I've to admit, she's good. Enough such that, were I not on the receiving end of her deductions, I'd admire her for it.
I see a woman standing behind Niijima, her black hairs curling around her neck and her hands.
Suddenly she says, "I'm trying to help you. Why won't you just admit to it?"
I look at her like she's mad. "Help me?"
"Principal Kobayakawa is all but certain of your culpability. The day after Suzui's suicide attempt, Kamoshida called in sick. Kobayakawa called him on the phone out of concern. The man said many things that didn't make that much sense, something about a castle and monsters. But he said your name multiple times throughout the call. When Kobayakawa pressed him for answers, Kamoshida hung up. He wouldn't answer the phone again, couldn't even be found at his own house. The time anybody saw him again, was the time he jumped off the roof of the school."
"So what the hell are you even doing here?"
"He only requested my help in order to gather more sufficient evidence against you. You put a stop to Kamoshida's abuses. You're digging yourself a grave, here. He intends to pin all the blame on you whether or not I come to him with the evidence I've gathered. You got rid of Kamoshida. I don't know how, but I know you did. If you could just come clean with everything, you'll make things so much easier on yourself. I'll even vouch for you--"
"You and I both know I'm dead the second Kobayakawa files for my expulsion. If you think me confessing or you vouching for me is going to do me any good, then you're stupider than you look."
She shakes her head, "Hikawa-san, you can't just throw away your future like this..."
I start chuckling, then.
"Do you think all of this is funny?" she cries, shocked.
"Future. I haven't had a future in two goddamn years."
She looks pained, pitiful, like she can't bear to see this, and I can't stomach the sight of her condesencsion, "Hikawa-san, I know that you were trying to do the right thing—"
"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?"
"What?"
"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?"
"What are you talking about?"
"The hospital bed."
"Wh-what the—?" Suddenly I break out into laughter, and she looks at me like she doesn't even know if I'm human. "Hikawa-san—"
"The lovely student council president put more effort into finding the guy who drove Kamoshida to suicide, than actually putting a stop to Kamoshida himself. It's a rather bad look, don't you think?"
Niijima cringes and narrows her eyes. "I heard rumors. In passing. I didn't...," she leans back in her seat. "I'd see them, his students, walking out the nurse's office covered in bandages. I'd try to speak with them, ask them if there was anything I could do to help. They'd brush me aside, or ignore me, or tell me that everything was fine. And whenever I'd bring it up to Kobayakawa, he'd just...change the subject or treat it like it's something they just had to deal with. Athletes require intense amounts of training, or some variation of it."
"Fat tub of shit thinks it'd be better for the school to look good than for that fucking prick to be held accountable. And you acquiesced."
She raises her voice, sounding like she's on the verge of breaking, "Don't you think I wish I could have done something!?"
"Of course there wasn't anything you could've done. That's the point."
Reason takes ahold again, but not enough to keep her mouth shut. "You're trying to deflect. Don't think I don't know when people—"
"Honestly, Niijima. I think everybody's too hard on you. You didn't do anything about Kamoshida, and how could you? Nobody would say shit to you, nobody trusted you enough, so you just straight up didn't know anything concrete. Kobayakawa wouldn't have done anything even when you did bring it up. And if ever you had a gut feeling, you couldn't just act on it, because the tallest nail gets hammered down."
"Don't you dare pity me, you—"
"I'm not pitying you, I'm telling you the facts. I don't blame you for Kamoshida. Nobody could have done a thing, because they would've gotten shitcanned. Sakamoto did something. He stood up against that prick and for all his trouble his leg got snapped in two."
"Wh-what...?"
"What, that blonde vulgar delinquent piece of garbage, didn't you know that's what happened? Oh, but right. The rumors. Kamoshida insisted that he pulled self-defense on the guy when really, he instigated him into throwing a punch by mentioning his dad. Everyone ate that shit right up, didn't even lift a finger to help him because they didn't wanna be next. Kept their heads down like nothing had happened."
"How do you even know this...?"
"Guess you didn't talk to Sakamoto enough. Hell, I don't think you talk to the students much in general. You just follow 'em around all day cuz the principal tells you to."
She just tries biting back, but she can barely restrain the venom in her voice, "You don't know anything about my motives. You don't know anything about me."
"You're right. I don't know you. I don't know anyone in that school. But I do know that everybody joined hands—whether because they were afraid, or because they wanted to improve their standing, or out of straight-up ignorance—to make sure a kiddie rapist remained the star of Shujin."
"How can you say that!?" she cries, "They couldn't have done anything! Kamoshida would have ruined them, what could they have done!?"
"Any one of them could have stood up and said fuck this guy but they didn't. They had their reasons, you had your reasons. But you didn't have to make yourselves sound so goddamn pitiful about it. What could I have done? He'll kill me, excuses excuses. Whining and protecting your oppressor even when you've got scars and welts on your faces. Makes me sick just to look at you all."
"Do you realize you're condemning Suzui, too!?" she shouts.
"So now you give a shit about victim blaming? You condemned Suzui when you condemned Takamaki," I tell her. "You remember what you asked of her? Why didn't she do anything for her friend? She was about to. Kamoshida told her he'd lay off Suzui if Takamaki slept with him."
Niijima looks as though someone had just punched her in the chest. "I... what?"
"She was going to do it. Would you have preferred it if she did? Would she have done something for her friend then, in your eyes? She certainly would have done more for Suzui than you ever did." I scowl, "I didn't do anything to that fucking prick. But if I did, it would've been because he was a sick piece of shit and he deserved far worse than what he got. Whoever drove him to kill himself didn't go far enough."
She growls, eyes wide, her whole body trembling, "You're insane."
"No, it's evidence of sanity, more than anything else."
"You can't be serious."
"It isn't crazy to want to kill everyone responsible for the state of the world, Niijima. It's crazy when you don't. I know you couldn't have done anything then, Niijima. But now you can. You can say no to Kobayakawa. What the hell's he gonna do, not give you a letter of recommendation? Is the word of someone like him so goddamn important to you that you need to stuff your nose up his cheeks all the time? You know he doesn't give a shit about you or anyone else, he just wants to make Shujin look good, even if it means letting kids get their asses bled by his golden boy. But of all the things you could do next, you just keep on doing whatever he tells you to."
The anger isn't burning, just building inexorably, as though the only thing stopping her from caving my head in on the spot is the fact that the restaurant's surrounded with witnesses. "You think I'm doing this to impress him?"
"I don't see why not. Didn't go this far when Kamoshida was actually abusing students. Why else would you go this far now?"
"A teacher abused his students right under my nose and someone drove him to confess and attempt suicide! How could I not want to know the truth!?"she shouts, but then she pulls back, exhales, and recomposes herself. "I don't know what I expected, talking to you like this. You're just some delinquent transfer student with a criminal record. You can't possibly understand what I—"
"People like Kobayakawa and Kamoshida lived with themselves because they kept telling themselves no one can possibly understand what they're going through. And why wouldn't they? Their own students won't raise a hand against them."
Her eyes are cold, fierce, certain and true. "You made Suguru Kamoshida throw himself off the roof of the school. Didn't you?"
I hiss, "I wish I had. Watching him crack his skull open on the goddamn grass made me feel alive for the first time in years. If he had abused someone I cared about the same way he abused Shiho Suzui, Ryuji Sakamoto, or anyone else who had been stuck under him, I'd do whatever it took to get to him. Now. If there's nothing else to talk about. I'd sincerely prefer it if you left me alone."
I get myself the hell outta my seat and make my way to the door, but for the love of God she has to get the last word in: "Like you actually have people you care about."
I stop in my tracks. Suddenly I burst out in uproarious laughter so loud that I startle most people in the restaurant and cause a baby to cry. "That's what the hypothetically is for, isn't it!?"
"Do you really think you can get away with what you've done?"
"Let's say I am responsible for Kamoshida throwing himself off the top of that roof," I move closer to her, looming over her. "Then that would mean that I did far more for the school and its students in a goddamn week, than you ever did your entire tenure as student council president."
Suddenly the whole world goes sideways and my face lands on the table. The pain lasts for a second but the surprise lasts even longer, because I'm now covered in soda and burger while being held in exactly the same position as my father had kept me in back when I was still allowed in his home—
"You think I wanted any of this!?" She seethes, her eyes now blazing red and searing through my own. "Every single day I worked under that bloated asshole I wanted nothing more than to scream in his face about how he was letting his own students get hurt!"
Security tries getting involved and everyone in the resto is just straight up shitting themselves but I keep laughing, "Sucks when the criminal does your job better than you doesn't it—" KKRK "—HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Must be nice to be up on your high horse, able to laugh at everyone down in the dregs for keeping their heads low. Unlike you, I have everything to lose! You don't have the right to just sit there mocking me for trying to fix the mess you left behind—!!"
I laugh at her then, I laugh and laugh and laugh even as she grits her teeth and flares her eyes and pulls my arm up further and makes my shoulder creak open— "I heard your dad was a police officer."
"Don't you dare say a thing about my father!" She keeps on breaking my goddamn shoulder and I see that she wants to shatter me into pieces like nothing on Earth,
"I know you wanna make him proud of you, Niijima—but hell, at least become a cop before engaging in police brutality."
Her eyes widen, and she unhands me suddenly. My hand falls back down on the table and she rears back, absolutely horrified, "I...I didn't mean to..."
I laugh, prying myself off the table, the drink and foodstuff coating my face. Though my mouth smiles widely, my eyes tell a different story. I realize now she isn't scared of me; she's scared of herself, and what she's just done.
Before I can say anything else she picks up her bag and runs away, covering her face as she flees out the front door.
It was all bullshit, of course.
I didn't want a goddamn thing to do with Palaces when I first learned about Kamoshida. I have no right to call her out for her inaction, especially considering she has no way to travel to the Vortex World to begin with.
I just wanted her to get away from me.
.
.
.
There is a dream I have, from time to time. And in the dream, I don't stop.
In the dream, I see them all. The murderers. The rapists. The psychos. The thieves. I see them all laughing. Everyone's laughing, everyone's crying. Dancing around each other, drowning in blood. There are people screaming in this gathering. People, innocent people. Men, women, children. They're all being dragged by the hairs and they're crying, they're crying as the monsters have their way with them as they see fit. And when I realize I have a knife in my hand, I decide I won't stop.
I made a promise earlier in the year to do everything in my power, ensure that dream never becomes a reality. I decided to break that promise the instant I saw Shiho Suzui jump off the roof of the school.
Suguru Kamoshida was a horrible man who was able to drown out self-reflection because he spent all his time being inundated with praise. Nothing more than a mad dog that was fed biscuits every time he bit someone's head off. I threw that dog off the top of that same roof, but the fat bastard who fed him and let him loose is still out there. And what's more, he's willing to make a dog outta someone else to tear my head off for him.
So my mind was somewhere else before I realize I've already opened my phone and typed a couple names in.
Palace Ruler: Sohei Kobayakawa
Palace Location: Shujin Academy
Palace Distortion:
I grip my phone and stuff it in my pocket again.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, Kazuya?"