This book might paint me as a villain, a toxic man, a heartless one at that but this is my truth. A lot had happened before page one, a heartbreak, grief, disappointments and bad decisions, a past that I wish to bury for forever. Everywhere I go, everything I do and every single day of my life, I'm haunted by the ghosts of my first love, I've tried to outgrow that part of me but it's led me to the darkest paths of the world. I hope this book is received and enjoyed as intended, all in all this is my truth.

13th Of August. She came over, we spent time and did everything we used to do in our relationship. After all that, after not seeing her for 5 months, she told me that she came over also to tell me that this is her official goodbye, she told me that with tears in her eyes as if this shit was hard for me. Felt like she reattached the same attachments that I spent months trying to get rid of. Anyway, this is just a prelude to this chapter.


How many more sips will it take until she gets off my mind, how many more sips will it take for my stop seeing visions of us making love?


All I see her face when she was on top of me, all I hear is our kissing sounds, her hands around my face, I can smell the traces of her scent all on my clothes and pillows. I don't mind taking opening another bottle, I just wanna take sips until she's off my mind.


Running her fingers through my hair, looking into my eyes, that shit sent me down to my knees, had me in front of the angels of love, begging for this love between us to blossom and grow and last forever.Fuck, I need more sips because this heart of mine is aching.


I'll keep on taking sips until I forget everything that happened on this bed, I'll keep on taking sips until I stop wishing for a rewind & repeat.


I'm scared to close my eyes because all I see is her beautiful face when I lay down my head, I inhale her sweet scent, it sends me back to the moment when she wrapped her arms around me to give me plenty kisses before she leaves and fuck! I can't get it off my brain, I need more sips.


Sometimes we fall so deep in a wrong valley, we stay right in the cold, hoping for a shooting star, not realizing that the sky could be cloudy for a while. I wish I had more luck and I wish there was a better way because I don't want her to leave.


It seems almost impossible that I'll ever move on, I've had sleepless nights and long days over this shit and I still don't understand any of this. I can't help myself from thinking about our memories and these fucking emotions aren't easy to feel.


It seems almost impossible that I will ever get to a better place, it's so hard to imagine myself without her and it's so tough for me to accept this sad reality, acceptance of this heartbreak isn't what I'm capable of.


I really wish things were better because I don't want her to leave.


Chapter 15 - ATTACHMENTS