that slap hitted harder then a grenade could ever
after she left i completely broke down
i was crying sobbing shaking ššš
she hate's me i am becoming like my father
he hurted my mother
and i am hurting
I LOVE HER SO FUCKING MUCH
that i dont even know how to live with her hating me
i feel my chest physically hurt
when i see her sad when i see her eyes that have nothing but hate for me
i feel like i can't even breathe
i don't remember how much time
i was there crying i don't remember getting out of the school getting in the car the drive i don't remember any of that
but here i am in kings ground drinks did nothing
it didn't work because the only thing that would work was her smile her eyes the way she used to look at me
then i saw angelo his eyes were red as if he was crying for a long time
he called me then he started yelling at me
saying that it was all my fault
i asked him what happened then he told me that jay had cancer
i couldn't process i felt as the ground has been taken from under my feet
i couldn't baer it that i would have to live without her and
i cant even talk to her tell her how much i fucking love her
i swear i would do anything for her to always be with me
i can't even breathe i feel like i am gonna die
i mean how can i even live knowing that in a few years i wouldn't even be able to look at her knowing that i would have to live in a world where she wasn't smiling āļøāļø