Hey guys!
Dude, I hate being sick, this sucks. I'm a big water drinker so when my throat and roof of my mouth hurt and I can't even drink water to get rid of it makes me pissed off. At the very least, I have this nasal spray that clears up my nose so I can sleep, so suck it body!
Enjoy the show!
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Things have been…Weird.
It's been about 2 weeks since Niffty and I's fusion and it's been so damn weird since then. Focusing on the positives first, I've been getting a helluva lot stronger, like so much stronger. It's not even just because of the souls I've been collecting, but that definitely influenced my physical state, I mean, I had to run around the hotel 40 times on my hands just to get a burn going.
My body's such a well oiled machine that I had to start making weights with crystal caesar that were comical in their size, looking like something Zoro would bench-press only to be weaker than that blond-haired pedophile people call Sanji. Though, Niffy certainly didn't mind seeing me all sweaty and stuff.
Yeah, I'm not sugarcoating it, we fucked like animals, dude. I'm genuinely not sure how her or my hips haven't broken in two yet, hell, I'm pretty sure my Hanma genes were the only thing saving me from running out of nut. Though, I am pretty worried about Charlie spying on us, but I hope that she's not that crazy.
Speaking of Charlie, people in this damn place have been tweaking like hell recently. Daki's just become a full-blown NEET now, I only barely see her when it's the middle of the night and she's out stalking the fridge for chips or going outside for some actual flesh to eat, and worst of all? She's not even watching anything good! When I say I am dead serious, I am dead serious when I say that she is willingly making herself watch "My little sister can't be this cute!"
... Is this how it felt like for parents to have a gooner son or a shipping daughter?
Charlie's tweaked out too, just a week ago, she apparently got a call from her dad and has been acting strange recently. There's an actual fire on the top of her head whenever she's around while muttering and walking on walls. When I tried to ask what was wrong, she didn't even try to deny anything, just flopping on the couch and telling me outright.
Apparently she's supposed to go to dinner with her ex-boyfriend all the way from high-school. Ignoring the fact that a grown ass man is contacting his highschool crush (And the fact that Charlie went to highschool from her 140's to her 180's) I asked her what was so bad about that. I mean, she's the princess of hell, right? She could lowkey eviscerate literally everyone in here without a second thought and summon a big mac to eat afterwards.
She told me that it's political. Seviathan (The ex's name) and his family have been the closest demons in hell to Lucifer, often asking him favors over dinner that he usually accepted. The only reason she really dated him was because of politics, but as soon as graduation came, she cut all contact with him immediately. So if Seviathan's family is asking Lucifer for something it's pretty big, and she's forced to come to dinner with them.
His mom and dad are two big pushovers so
Add all of this stress on top of the fact that she doesn't know if her hotel is working, makes her really damn tweaked out.
"Charlie, you need to chill out." I said, spreading myself out on the couch and making little doves with clay bombs. "Look at it like this: whose life hasn't been improved while in your hotel? Daki used to be a serial killer, but now she's just a regular killer, Niffty used to be a crazy psycho for like 50 years, but now she's calmed down. Hell, look at me! I used to be a terrorist for crying out loud."
"DIdn't all of that happen because of you?"
"..." I am really not good at comforting people. "Regardless of that, you still built this place. Hell, Angel Dust has been doing pretty swell, he hasn't been getting called up by Valentino at all and he's been opening up, right?"
"But didn't you–"
"Ignore that! Listen, your hotel is working, but if you're really doubting yourself then go hang out with Angel Dust, try to make some of your happiness exercises tailored to him and see how it goes, okay?" I say, trying my best to make her feel comfortable. I know I have traits that let me make people trust me more, but that? That was all my natural charisma.
[Natural charisma? Buddy, you got as much charisma as pre-isekai Kazuma]
'Ticket, you're back? Why'd you stop talking to me for so long.' I asked it inside my mind as Charlie practically smothered me in a hug. I'm so lucky I got steel-man, otherwise, I'd be struggling for breath, instead I'm totally fine inside some tig ass bitties.
[What are you talking about, I've been talking to you this entire time.]
No, you've been giving me tickets this entire time, it's been more than a while since you've talked like this.
[...Perceptive like always, huh? Alright, I'll tell you; I'm assimilating into you]
What the hell does that mean?
[It means that soon enough, this ego will crumble and I'll just be a machine. I should be lucky it lasted this long anyway, I wasn't designed to be sentient. It's taking a lot out of me to even hold this conversation.]
Who are you anyway?
[...]
Helllllooooo?? Answer my question!
[...]
Goddamn it. Is this B2A acting up again? That requiem better be god damn extraordinary or else I'm gonna flip. But, I just can't shake the feeling that I've met the black ticket somewhere else before, another place another time perhaps… Is reincarnation real? I must've killed Hitler in my past life for this, but I hate not knowing shit!
Requiem in Jojo's is already unpredictable, but usually it answers to the user's desires. Killer Queen made Bites the Dust to keep Kira's secret safe, Golden Experience did what it did to Diavolo because it wanted to protect Giorno. So why in the world is B2A pulling off some bullshit like this, why is it actively cannibalizing the black ticket?
Stands are supposed to be reflections of the soul, right? I'm open, I talk to people, I can't even lie for god's sake, so why is my own soul not giving me a slight whisper? I can't even manifest it outside of my body like before and the arrow is still stuck inside of me so I'm not able to try and make it requiem by force.
More than that, why is the ticket assimilating into me? I assumed it was just a part of my subconscious talking to me or my mysterious patron who was giving me powers, but why would they "assimilate" into me? Was the ticket another soul that latched onto me while I came here that I'm cannibalizing on some Sukuna shit?
I had tried to just bang out my frustrations in the Infinite Tower of Pissed Off Dudes just yesterday, trying to break my weapons curse as well, but that didn't go that well. Even though I was a lot stronger, the 60th floors were whole different beasts. With just some rough estimates, all of them were physically my level before I started my "soul collecting" business along with some truly bullshit abilities.
My first, FIRST OPPONENT had LIMITLESS FROM JJK!! I'm lucky that it's practically useless without the six eyes, otherwise, I'd have been cooked. It didn't matter though, as my next opponent had Killer Queen from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. I went all out from the jump, firing off 5 clay bombs at it, but Killer Queen managed to turn those things into bombs and take less damage from them. I wasn't gonna let that stand near me with a 29 and a half foot pole, so I just kept spamming until it died.
I wasn't too lucky next up though, as I got brutally diffed by someone with Profane Flames, a fire that could burn things to literal ash with barely an ember. Even as careful as I was, there wasn't anything I could do with clay bombs or crystal caesar when the flames just burnt everything to ash.
[Reach level 62 of the tower: 1x Item ticket]
[Permafrosts Concoction]
|Legendary Item|
Calamity Mod - The culmination of the Archamge Permafrost's work. Upon drinking this elixir, your energy/mana reserves and regeneration are greatly increased and all of your frost-related abilities gain massive buffs in addition to taking less energy/mana to cast. You are also greatly resistant to both cold and flame.
An Item would've been great, but I honestly couldn't complain one bit, this ain't half bad at all. I don't have any ice or fire powers, but the energy reserve increase along with energy regeneration is cool as hell. However, I had an idea that I wasn't gonna back down on…
I was gonna implant the sharingan within myself.
My idea was to rip out one of the byakugan's, specifically the one in my right eye and replace it with one of the sharingan and surgically replace it. You see, today when I used B2A, I actually rolled Izuru Kamakura from Danganronpa, the man with literally every single talent in the book from ultimate hope and ultimate mechanic to ultimate luck and ultimate supreme leader. Now since Izuru's whole character has him going crazy from being able to do literally everything, B2A has made me able to access one of his talents at a time.
So the plan was to go out to the store and buy a few anesthetics or drugs to numb the pain while I used my good byakugan along with a mirror to cut out my eye while channeling the talent of the ultimate doctor to fully implant the sharingan and then drink the elixir. Crazy? Yeah. Stupid? Also yeah. Genius?
…Probably not.
"Alright, I'm going out to the store for some donuts, y'all want anything?" I ask, putting on a jacket while heading towards the hotel door. I didn't exactly want to say out loud that I was gonna buy some pain-killing drugs, so I wanted to make up an excuse to go out.
"Can you get me some knives, Hubby?"
"I want the newest chapter of My Wife's an Elementary School Student."
"Just some marshmallows please."
"A dildo, my old ones are breaking."
"..."
"I mean…A dill dough, like the uhhhh bread mix, y'know what I mean, ha…ha…"
So right now I'm at the store getting everything that they wanted. There was this really high-class utensil store that I spotted right out the gate when I got into the city, however for some reason they just didn't serve sinners. The store was owned by a couple of imps and hellhounds, but I don't know why they'd choose not to do that when a good 75% of the sinner population were violent psychopaths.
But y'know what? Fuck it, it's their life, and just like how it's their life for not serving me it's also my life to make a clay bomb imitation of Mahoraga and take the damn things regardless of what they say. Well, that's what I was going to do when another weird thing happened.
"MASTER-PLEASE-RETHINK-THIS" Monodam said, somehow coming out on his own from behind me. "COULD-YOU-NOT-FIND-A-BETTER-PLACE-WITHOUT-THREATENING-VIOLENCE?"
Okay, what the hell is happening? I hadn't brung Monokuma or Jevil out for a few days, but I never knew they could just come out whenever they wanted. What do they even do while they're dispelled?
Getting over that, I considered Monodam's request. Since Monokuma and Jevil are both part of my soul, I suppose this is my own way of telling myself to check myself and my power before I start bullshitting around. I guess there is no better tutor than myself, huh?
So instead of storming the store like Normandy, I decided to cut my losses and just head to a different one. Lucky for me, I managed to find another store, this time it being a weapons shop sponsored by Carmilla Carmine, meaning that it specialized in angelic steel.
It wasn't cheap at all, and if I made money regularly I'm sure my pockets would be hurting, but I managed to get about 4 pairs of 7 angelic steel daggers, 28 in total.
Next up, I got Charlie and Daki's stuff at the same store. I got Charlie's marshmallows easily but instead of giving Daki some straight bullshit, I decided to get her every volume of Fullmetal Alchemist. No son of mine is watching a pedophile anime, no sirree-bob.
I didn't forget about Angel Dust and his… Request either. I got the dill dough sourdough mixture along with an actual dildo as well. Now I have some embarrassing things in my life, but going into a sex toy store was too far for me, so I just sent in Monokuma to go in and buy some while I looked for my stuff.
While I was here for pain-numbing stuff, I picked up a few honey buns when I was in the same store as Charlie and Daki's stuff. I then had to find a pharmacy to find some pain-killers and anesthesia, but the pharmacy I went to was weird as all hell. The dude at the counter who kinda looked like a pansexual weasel if that made any sense, instead of just giving me the pain medicine, invited me to the back to get some extra pain medicine.
Now I'm not stupid, nor completely gay, so I'm not gonna just go to the back with a random guy promising to give me a little extra on the side. I obviously refused and tried to walk out the door, but right before I could, an inky black tentacle showed up and completely barred the doors.
Now I wonder just who's bitch-made enough to try and sneak me while I'm on a shopping trip, just a little guess, but maybe it's the nigga who's been down in this place before the goddamn Regean administration!
"Good evening my good man."
"Genuinely shut the fuck up, dude." I say bluntly, turning around and seeing Alastor's smile twitch a bit on his face. "Listen man, I got shit to do and I can't meander with you right now."
"Oh, you can't meander with me right now? Just like you couldn't meander when I cut your arm off and almost took your eye, hmmm?" He asked, obviously taunting me.
"I would say you need to work on your trash-talk…" I put the bags down, knowing that this'll lead to nowhere but a fight. "But when I'm done with you, your throat's gonna be sore all over!"
"..."
"..." Crap, that sounded wrong.
"Do you want to rephrase that?"
"Fuck you, why are you even here!?"
"Well, it's called having class and a job, two things that I know are just utterly horrific for you to imagine."
"Oh suck my dick, how do you have a job and still have dirty ass teeth? Instead of buying a whole ass building for me, maybe you should've bought a tube of toothpaste with your ugly ass, I can smell you from here–" But before I could continue talking my shit, I was knocked back by a tentacle that I barely blocked.
The thing had a surprising amount of power behind it, I had to maneuver mid air to land on my feet in front of hella people while Alastor materialized through a shadow right in front of me. The last time we were like this, he took an arm and I had to get Niffty to kill me to spare me the suffering…
Now it's time to settle the score!
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THE END
Unrelated, but I feel like entertainment value is just as important to me as writing sometimes. Take Helluva Boss, Hazbin's sister series, although it is not well-written…At all, I would say that even though I am not a fan of it, it is very very entertaining. It doesn't matter if it's the best written thing I've ever seen, if it's boring then it's ASS and the same thing the other way around
Ok bbbbyyyeeee!!!