Kakashi, Sasuke, Sakura, Tsunami, and Inari returned home after their serene picnic in the woods. The sun was setting, casting a warm glow over Tazuna's hut, making it seem almost peaceful.
"That was nice," Sakura said as she looked at Sasuke and blushed. She hoped he had enjoyed the picnic too.
"Hn," Sasuke grunted, looking bored. He wanted to train, not have a picnic, although he had to admit the tomato pickle was quite good.
"I'll go—" Inari started to say, but he was cut off by a loud, piercing scream from inside the hut.
Everyone froze. Tsunami, who had gone ahead, was screaming. "W-why…why are—"
Kakashi's one visible eye widened in surprise. He was sure he had felt no one inside the hut. "Everyone, be on guard," he ordered as they all quickly rushed inside.
"What happened?" Sasuke demanded as he stood by Kakashi's side, his hand instinctively reaching for a kunai. When he saw what lay before them, he froze, his eyes wide with shock.
Sakura, standing beside Inari, immediately covered his eyes with her hands, but not before she had a brief, horrifying glimpse that caused her to have a nosebleed. "Stay back, Inari," she said, trying to keep her voice calm.
"What's wrong, Sakura?" Inari asked, trying to peek through her fingers.
Tsunami, her face pale and trembling, pointed towards the middle of the living room. "W-why are there two n-naked men in my house? And why are they in that…like that p-position?"
Sasuke's eyes turned crimson, two tomoe spinning in each as he stared at the scene, committing it to his memory despite his better judgment. He was never letting anyone know how he awakened his Sharingan.
Kakashi's single eye widened in an expression that seemed to be shock or perhaps masked amusement. Before them lay Zabuza and a boy, still unconscious, but now completely naked and tied together in an extremely compromising position. The pair were chest to chest, with Zabuza's muscular form draped over Haku's delicate frame in what could only be described as an accidental yet scandalous embrace.
"Oh, fuck." Kakashi muttered.
"Fuck?" Inari exclaimed. "What's fucking? Who's fucking?"
Tsunami threw Kakashi a glare who chuckled nervously.
o—O—o
Everyone in the village was left in stunned silence as Naruto, dressed in her black frilly dress, paraded into the center of town dragging a beaten and barely clothed Gato, who was reduced to nothing but his underwear. Her white hair and blue eyes seemed to glow in the late afternoon light, giving her an almost ethereal, albeit somewhat creepy, appearance.
A murmur ran through the crowd as people started asking questions. Tazuna stepped forward, clearing his throat. "This is Naruto Uzumaki," he began, gesturing to her proudly. "She defeated the dangerous Mist Ninja, Zabuza, and an Ice Release user!"
Naruto struck a 'cool' pose, her robotic movements contrasting sharply with her triumphant proclamation. "Naruto Uzumaki, Dattebayo."
Among the crowd, two figures stood out, both fixated on Naruto with intense curiosity. Deidara, with his wild blond hair and smirk, elbowed the stoic Sasori. "Oi, girl!" Deidara called out, drawing the attention of everyone around.
Naruto pointed at herself, tilting her head. "Yes, you," Deidara confirmed.
"Do you want to take a photo with me?" she asked, her voice tinged with a hint of robotic pride.
"No," Sasori replied coldly, causing a few chuckles in the crowd. "Just tell us where the museum is. Apparently, none of these people know what a museum is."
Naruto blinked. "Muse-yumm?" she echoed, her confusion apparent. "Is that a foreign cuisine?"
Deidara facepalmed, exasperated. "It's a place where you keep valuable artifacts, jewelry," Sasori explained patiently, "and puppets."
Naruto's mouth formed an 'o'. She poked Gato's bare belly, causing him to wiggle in ticklish discomfort. "You can find these things at Gato's place, north of here."
Sasori nodded, a rare smile tugging at his lips. "Thank you, Uzumaki-san."
"Dattebayo."
"Come on, Deidara. We're leaving."
"Wait, Old-timer!" Deidara protested as they walked away.
Naruto blinked as she received the memories of her clones. "Oops. I forgot to tell them that I already emptied the building…save for those dolls and some boxes with creepy skull symbols. I hope they won't know who did it," she sighed robotically. "No ramen…"
At that moment, Team Seven, accompanied by Tsunami and Inari, arrived on the scene. "Naruto," Kakashi said, eyeing Gato with a raised eyebrow, "why is he…almost naked?"
"My interrogation method," Naruto stated plainly.
"And why were Zabuza and the other boy naked…?" Kakashi continued.
"They were not wearing any undergarments when I 'borrowed' their clothes for infiltrating Gato's place," she replied matter-of-factly.
"How do you explain the questionable position?" Sasuke asked, his face still slightly flushed from the memory.
Naruto ignored the question, turning to address the crowd. "I shall distribute autographs."
Sakura turned green, holding her stomach. "I think I am going to be sick."
Sasuke glared at her. "Loser…"
"Big sister, you did it!" Inari exclaimed, his eyes wide with admiration. "You defeated Gato!"
Naruto struck another 'cool' pose as everyone cheered and praised her. "Dattebayo."
Meanwhile, Deidara and Sasori, having reached Gato's place, found some valuable puppets and artifacts. "Good thing that Uzumaki girl told us about the place," Deidara remarked as he set off a small explosion for fun.
Sasori nodded in agreement, examining a particularly fine puppet. "Indeed."
o—O—o
As Team Seven prepared to leave for the Hidden Leaf Village, the entire population of the village gathered to bid them farewell. The villagers were overwhelmingly grateful for their heroics, particularly Naruto's peculiar brand of bravery. Cheers erupted from the crowd as they spotted the black frilly dress wearing girl with her striking white hair and bright blue eyes.
Naruto stood at the forefront, soaking in the admiration with a robotic smile. "Thank you, villagers," she said, her voice monotone yet brimming with pride. "Your praises are most appreciated, Dattebayo."
An elderly woman shuffled forward, her hands trembling as she handed Naruto a basket of fruits. "Thank you for saving us, dear. Please, accept this small token of our gratitude."
Naruto accepted the basket, her movements stiff. "Fruits acknowledged. Gratitude received."
Sakura and Sasuke stood a few steps behind Naruto, their expressions a mix of jealousy and irritation. "She's really lapping this up," Sakura muttered under her breath, crossing her arms.
Sasuke clenched his fists, his Sharingan still faintly visible. "How did this turn into the Naruto show?" he grumbled, casting a sidelong glance at the crowd, who were now chanting Naruto's name.
Kakashi, leaning against a post with his usual nonchalance, couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, she did save the day," he said, though his visible eye twitched slightly at the thought of the extensive mission report he would have to submit to the Hokage. "And now I have to write about every single detail, including the part where Zabuza and Haku escaped naked."
Sakura sighed, shaking her head. "I still can't believe that happened. How did they even manage to escape?"
Kakashi shrugged. "They're ninjas. Naked, bound ninjas, but ninjas nonetheless."
Meanwhile, Naruto continued to bask in the villagers' praise. "Naruto-sama, will you come back to visit us?" a young boy asked, his eyes wide with admiration.
Naruto patted the boy's head awkwardly. "Affirmative. A return visit is probable."
A group of women approached, giggling. "Naruto-san, can we have your autograph?"
Naruto nodded robotically. "Autographs will be distributed. Form a single line. Dattebayo." She began signing pieces of paper, her handwriting oddly neat despite her mechanical movements.
As the villagers lined up for autographs, Tazuna stood to the side, watching with a mixture of pride and amusement. "She really did save us all," he said, mostly to himself. "And she did it in a way only Naruto could."
The villagers soon began to disperse, the excitement gradually settling. Tazuna cleared his throat, gathering everyone's attention one last time. "Before you leave, we have one more thing to do."
With a grand gesture, he pointed to the newly completed bridge. "From this day forward, this bridge shall be known as The Great Naruto Uzumaki Bridge!"
Cheers erupted once more as Naruto struck a 'cool' pose, her eyes glinting with pride. "Acknowledged. The bridge name is satisfactory. Dattebayo."
Sakura rolled her eyes. "Can we go now?"
Sasuke nodded, clearly eager to leave. "Yeah, let's get out of here."
Kakashi gave a final nod to Tazuna. "Thank you for your hospitality. Take care of yourselves."
As Team Seven finally began to walk away from the village, Naruto turned back one last time, her robotic voice carrying on the wind. "Dattebayo, villagers. Dattebayo."
"Dattebayo" The villagers chorused.
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Why does she always have to say that?"
Sakura sighed. "Because she's Naruto."
Kakashi just chuckled softly. "The mission is over, but the memories – some embarrassing, some funny, all unforgettable – will stay with us forever."
Next: Chunin Exams: Konoha 12; Assemble!
TBC