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Chapter 55: Sera's Past
The walls were quiet when Sera found Chris standing at the eastern rampart staring out into the distance, seemingly in thought.
He was watching the horizon. Watching the place Lyra's party had originally been, long since having disappeared into the dust.
Sera climbed the makeshift ladder slowly, making noise, announcing herself. She'd learned that much about him. Surprise made him jumpy lately, and jumpy made the plants restless.
"They're gone," she said, stepping onto the platform.
"Almost." Chris didn't turn. "They're at the edge now of where the roots have spread, seemingly making camp and possibly planning their next steps. No doubt the knight is sulking, but the scout was sent ahead."
"You could have made them leave earlier, or have even made a better impression, maybe held more cards to your chest, or even just made this place seem more mysterious."
"I could have," he admitted before pausing. "But then he'd just come back with more questions or demands. The way I did it was with purpose. I showed them most of what exists and laid the foundation so they could hopefully understand what could be — that I can be a good ally, but also that I'm isolated, that anything that happens out here can have little effect on them over there."
"And what you did to the scout and then that idiot when he waltzed in as if he owned the place?" she asked, making him shake his head. "That was me making sure they understood that while I am isolating myself and making something away from all of them, I will be more than willing to defend it. I even told him the plants have begun to act on their own, which isn't entirely wrong but makes it seem like if I were to die, they would rampage or still continue on. Make them understand it's not like a summoned spirit or creature disappearing with the summoner's death — uhm, not sure if that concept exists here — but pretty much imagine it as a curse or spell linked to the caster. If the caster dies, the spell or curse stops. My warning was that it was different for me; the plants could and would continue even without me."
Sera moved to stand beside him, her hand resting on her sword hilt — not gripping, just... resting as the wind blew, seemingly pulling at her red hair that she had let loose, her eyes scanning the same horizon he was gazing at.
"You've been rather quiet lately," Chris finally said, breaking the lull they had fallen into. "Since they arrived. You've barely spoken to anyone but me and Korr, and when you interacted with any of them it was short and brief. I even heard you all but ignored the knight while you watched him, saying at most a single sentence to him."
"I don't trust them. Especially one like him."
"You don't trust anyone, though. You always seem ready for a fight, to draw your sword and defend yourself," he pointed out.
She stilled at that before looking at him, shaking her head ever so slightly. "I trust you, Chris." She said it softly, almost as a whisper, but it was delivered more as a fact rather than a confession. "I suppose I also trust Korr to an extent, and I trust the various plants that are here. They're all… Gentle, even if some don't seem like it. The rest of the world can burn for all I care, though, as long as this place persists and continues to exist."
Chris finally turned to look at her. His blue eyes, somewhat darker than they'd been when she met him, seemed to study her face with that quiet intensity he'd developed over the past few months. The Chris who she had first met would have probably looked away, maybe even blushed at the intensity of her gaze or tried to deflect her words with a joke or a self-deprecating comment. This Chris, though, just... looked.
"The mage seemed to recognize you," he said. "Elara. I saw her face when she looked at you, and the knight's reaction towards you. I don't want to press, but I am here for you, and I am willing to listen, if you feel like talking about it."
"The Bloody Shadow." Sera's voice was cold as she turned her focus back onto the distance. "Everyone knows that name, and it seems even the summoned do as well. No doubt the Empire made sure of it to try and scare them into behaving — threats of having others like me, like I was, coming for them."
"I take it you killed a lot of people to earn such a title, both on and off the battlefield," Chris calmly stated.
Sera was quiet for a long moment. The wind carried dust across the Barrens, and somewhere in the distance, a beast howled — too far to matter, close enough to remind them both where they were.
"Yes," she finally said. "Most of them deserved it, though. But there are some — no, a lot — I don't remember, while the bits I do continue to haunt me." Her hand tightened on her sword hilt. "The specialist program I mentioned before, the one that gave me my ability to sense and pick up on intents, was purely made to forge humans into weapons, because weapons don't ask why. They just... swing."
Chris said nothing. He didn't flinch. Didn't look away. Just waited as he listened, being the air she needed to finally vent it all.
"The first time, I was twelve," Sera continued. Her voice had gone distant, not softer, just... further away as she got lost in the memory. Like she was speaking from somewhere else. "It was a nobleman who'd gotten too powerful and too popular. The emperor wanted him gone, but he couldn't do it openly or risk being seen as a tyrant, so they sent me. A child at the time, because no one suspects a child to be behind a murder or even be as skilled as I was at the time."
She laughed a short and bitter laugh at that.
"I cried afterward for a few hours. I mean, I was in the program and service longer than stated, but it was my first kill, my first real task, and the first blood to stain my hands. When the program director noticed I had been crying, they had me beaten for my weakness of having emotion. I got told that tears were a luxury I couldn't afford." She looked at Chris. "I convinced myself that he was right. I tried to stop crying after that, and given enough time, I did learn to stop. Now I rarely shed tears, and the few times I do, I make sure no one can see them."
Chris's jaw tightened. She could see the anger in his face — not at her, she quickly realized, but for her, the anger being directed at the people who had done this to her.
"How many?" he finally asked in a whisper, barely managing to keep from grabbing and hugging her, to try and comfort her.
"How many what?"
"How many times did they send you out before you stopped crying?"
Sera thought about it. Really thought about it, for the first time in years.
"Three," she said quietly. "The third time, I didn't cry. I just... cleaned my blade and waited for the next order, having finally been broken — or rather 'forged' properly, according to the director. From there I went into the next program, and after surviving that, was put onto various battlefields. I think they were trying to kill me back then, but ended up needing to toss me out when they realized I refused to die, refused to be broken further."
The silence stretched between them, filled by the soft song of the flowers below — the moon drop daisies and blood red lilies weaving their voices together in a melody that was somewhere between sad and hopeful, creating a tune that seemed to promise a better tomorrow.
"The old man knew about those projects and was firmly against them…" Chris said quietly, making her look at him with confusion. "He would have known what you had been through at a glance and no doubt tried to help you far more actively than I have," he admitted solemnly.
Sera's expression flickered. Surprise, maybe. Or something softer, before settling into acceptance.
"He told me once, before he died, I mean, that everyone who came to the Barrens was running from something or escaping from something, regardless of whether they knew it or not. That it wasn't my job to judge them, but rather just to help them if I could and accept them." Chris's voice was soft with notes of a smile. "I didn't really understand what he meant until you showed up — my first real experience being bandits and a no-good adventurer. Then Korr also came and made me realize all sides are the same with their people. Two separate empires had thrown away two of the most dangerous people I'd ever met because of fear and their own stupidity."
"We wanted to survive."
"No." Chris shook his head as he turned to look at her. "Surviving is what I was doing when I got here. Eating enough to see the next sunrise. Hiding from beasts behind my plants and telling myself 'one more day' like it was a prayer, till I eventually began to live how I wanted." He met her eyes. "You and Korr, though? You wanted to live from the start. There's a difference between both points."
"I was the Bloody Shadow for over ten years," she said quietly. "So many years of killing whoever they pointed me at, regardless of whether they were nobles, generals or traitors. It didn't matter what the supposed crime was; they pointed and I acted." She paused. "I thought I had stopped being her the day I walked into the Barrens and decided I'd rather die than go back, but I realized that happened when I came to this place."
"You didn't die, though."
"No," she said, almost smiling. "I found a village full of plants that talk and a grower who's too stubborn to know when to quit, and it became the haven I needed. And while staying there, I realized he was a real idiot — one who needed guidance and a lot of time to actually find himself."
"And yet, despite all of that, you stayed."
Sera turned to look at him now, the smile properly forming as he looked back with a quiet, unshakeable certainty that had replaced the fear she'd seen when she first arrived.
"You gave me a reason to stay, and a home I could call my own," she said. "When I was hurt and wounded, at death's door, you took me in, healed me. And even afterwards, with all your uncertainty, you didn't care about the blood staining me. You didn't ask who I was beyond a name, didn't care about what I may have done. You didn't ask me to be anything other than what I was. You just... let me be."
"That's what this place is for, though. What I am trying to turn it into."
"I know." Her voice was quiet as she looked at the dipping sun in the distance. "That's why I'll kill anyone who tries to destroy or take it."
Chris held her gaze for a long moment. Then he nodded slowly, turning his own focus back to the horizon.
"They will be coming back," he said. "The Empire. They'll send more than a knight and a noble's daughter next time."
"I know."
"It might be a negotiation party, or it might be the start of an invading army. Will you be ready to help me through whatever may come?"
"I'm always ready," she said. "That's what they made me into — a weapon ready to be used whenever they needed it."
"And what about what you've become here, though?" Chris glanced at her. "You're not just what they made you anymore, Sera. You haven't been for a long time. And I don't expect to use you like they did. I may ask for your help, but I won't demand or order you."
She didn't answer, but her grip on her blade seemed to loosen ever so slightly.
Below them, the flowers sang on — soft and steady, their voices carrying through the village like a promise that set her further at ease.
As Sera stood on the wall, her red hair stirring in the dust-filled air, her eyes turned to the blanket of night and slowly glowing stars that began to fill it.
She wasn't the Bloody Shadow here. Here she could just be Sera. That thought once more had her smiling, knowing she didn't need to spill blood, didn't get locked away or tossed aside, wasn't expected to kill on command and be punished for asking a question or even thinking for herself.
Soon after Chris left, she found herself still staring off into the distance. She wasn't sure if what she said next was only in her mind or if she said it out loud, but its impact settled her feelings better than anything she thought possible. "I'm not what you made me anymore; I get to choose what I become now." Her smile turned softer as her eyes closed. "And I choose this. I choose to be Sera, the girl with a sword in the village of green, in the haven in the Barrens."