I was in a white void.
A figure stood opposite me, a figure that looked just like me. No, he was me. The fat, loser version of me from Japan.
But his expression. That jagged smile across his fat cheeks, it wasn't mine.
"So, we finally met, " he said with a sinister laugh. "I gotta say, you're not very nice on the eyes, Kenji."
"I could say the same," I replied.
He nodded.
"You could, in fact, you should. This body we share, this form, it's nothing but shit. A shit vessel to hold your shitty personality."
I frowned. "Enough with this bullshit, I'm not here to be insulted. I want to break this seal, how do I do that?"
He laughed. "Look at you speaking like a big shot. Five years in a new world and you think you're a king, but I know the real you."
"The real me?" I asked.
He appeared in front of me with his hands on my chest and shoved me to the floor. "I know the Kenji that stole Kaneko's panties and got off to them."
"What are you—?"
He kicked me in the stomach.
I coughed up a blob of slob and gripped my belly. He continued, "I know the Kenji who changed his route to school to avoid getting beaten up by Tanaka and his boys."
He squatted in my face and leaned close. "And I know the Kenji who watched his childhood friends bang, who cried while watching it." His voice was a low, probing whisper.
I felt a surge of emotion and pushed myself up. "Shut the hell up!" I rushed into him and tried to shove him onto the ground.
The clone laughed as he effortlessly tossed me aside. "I bet you wish it was you, huh?! Why couldn't I get to bang her? She was supposed to be mine, she loved me!"
He slapped his fat hands against his chest. "Oh, the pity you felt for yourself! It's almost poetic if it weren't so sad!"
"Fuck off!" I swung again.
He blitzed forward and kicked me in the face.
The feeling of my face being smashed in was enough to bring tears to my eyes. I dropped to my knees and brought my hands to my face.
The clone's grin grew. "You come to me with half-assed confidence found with a sudden realization."
He placed his hand on my head and ran his fingers through my hair. "You think a day of found confidence can rival 17 years of me?"
He gripped my scalp. "News flash, that's not confidence, it's delusion."
He slammed my head forward and splattered my brains across the void.
— — —
My eyes snapped open as my chest swelled with air. My surroundings were dim and cold.
"Lafayette, you're awake!"
My head spun to my side.
Meridian was there, his hand resting against my shoulder and tears in his eyes. "I was so scared, I thought you were dead. Your face was bleeding and you didn't say anything for hours and, and, and…"
Hours?
My head throbbed like a drum. I smacked my lips, the taste of blood was thick and pungent.
"Damn it," I croaked. "He got me, I didn't stand a chance." Tears rolled down my cheeks as I sat forward.
Meridian pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and aggressively wiped my face. "It's okay, don't cry, if you cry I'll start feeling sad again."
I pushed his hand away and shoved him aside. "Gah!"
I shot to my feet.
Dragon, what the hell was that?! I shouted in my mind. I thought I was breaking a damn seal, not getting jumped by myself!
"You were," the dragon replied. "The seal will only break when you conquer yourself. It's not for the faint of heart, nor can it be rushed."
I gritted my teeth as pain radiated in my skull. "Then send me back in!" I shouted in the real world. "I'm gonna kill that fat mother fucker!"
The dragon sighed deeply. "Rest, boy."
"No! No, I want to go back now!"
No response.
"Lafayette what's wrong with you? Who are you talking to?"
I looked over my shoulder to see Meridian nursing his arm. My eyes narrowed.
He's about to cry again.
"Don't worry about it, come on."
The walk back to the estate was a quiet and painful affair. Every step I took set a jolt of pain through my spine and into my skull.
My nose continued to bleed. A steady drip of red fluid rolled down my lips and chin.
Meridian stayed close to my side. He kept his head low and matched my footsteps exactly.
He was like a puppy that was too loyal to leave, but too scared to bark.
I wiped the blood from my nose and rubbed it off my tunic. "I didn't mean it, by the way." My voice was rough and strained.
Meridian looked up with red-rimmed eyes. "Hm?"
"To shove you," I answered. "I was just… scared."
He pulled his hair behind his ear. "I saw it, you screamed and shouted. Like something was hurting you really badly."
I sighed. "Yeah."
Meridian stepped closer to my side and slid his hand into mine. I could feel his hand trembling as he locked fingers with me.
"You don't have to be scared, Lafayette," He whispered. "I can protect you."
I glanced down at our joined hands. It had almost eluded me how lonely Meridian was.
He's probably terrified that his only friend is mad at him. I should lighten the mood.
"I hope you grow out of this one day, it's cute now but when we get older…" I trailed off.
Meridian blinked, then smirked. "W-was that a joke?" He stammered with hope in his eyes.
I nodded. "Yeah."
Meridian giggled softly as he gripped my hand. "Oh thank goodness, I thought you were mad at me." He pressed his shoulder against mine as we continued towards the estate.
— — —
After returning with Meridian and cleaning up with Jinnah, I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about the fight against myself.
Was that really me?
I was such a disgusting, pathetic, sweaty slob.
How do I even beat that version of myself? I clearly can't fight him, he's too strong. Maybe I can cheese it?
No, the dragon said that's not possible. I need patience, discipline, and endurance. Does that mean I need to become a better fighter before I can win?
Or does that mean I should ignore him? I bet that's it. The seal of self requires you to endure who you were.
So if I can stand being in my presence for a certain amount of time, the seal should break, right?
I grinned and closed my eyes.
You can't count me out that easily.
— — —
The next morning I awoke to Meridian sitting at the edge of my bed with a breakfast tray.
I sat up and rolled my blanket aside.
"Hi, Lafayette." Meridian chirped as he lifted the tray. "I brought breakfast."
I crawled over.
"Breakfast, huh?"
He set the tray between us. On it was dried fruit and meat, along with two cups of milk.
I took a cup and sipped from it. Meridian watched me closely as he brought a piece of fruit to his mouth. "How'd you sleep?"
I set the cup down.
"Good," I replied. "Really good actually, I think I figured out the key to successful meditation."
Meridian tensed. "Lafayette, I don't like your kind of meditation." He swallowed. "It can't be good for you."
With a careless hand gesture, I sighed. "Is this coming from the same kid who tried to blast me off the face of the earth? Eternal balance ring any bells?"
Meridian blushed deeply. "I got excited, but you also opened up with an attack that could kill. Remember that water ball?"
"Point taken."
Meridian at another piece of fruit.
I reached for a piece of meat. "Still, I'm pretty confident I'll succeed this time."
"If you say so."