Renae and I sat at the table, eating and eyeing each other with silent words, our legs locked in a full on battlefield underneath—kicking, nudging, tickling.
"Okay, that's it." Anika's voice rumbled like thunder across the dining table, her fist slamming down suddenly, pulling all attention to her.
"Mommy Bear is upset," Julian whispered under his breath, eyeing us like, you girls are on your own.
"If you two continue your under table activities bullshit… I'm breaking both pairs of legs." Anika's threat snapped us back into stillness, our legs retreating into a no movement zone.
"Renae, you are going to college. And Veronica—"
"Yes, Madam," I answered quickly, almost jumping from my seat.
"At ease, Soldier," Julian commanded playfully.
"Julian!" Anika shouted, raising the pancake syrup bottle like a weapon, aimed and ready to shoot.
"Woooaaahhh, not the syrup, okay? Pweeddy please," Julian cooed, batting his eyes sweetly, hands folded in a heart over his chest.
"This is all your doing. I give commands, and you joke all damn day. So help me God, one day I'm gonna ship all your asses to Antarctica and feed you to the damn sharks." Anika rubbed her temples, clearly overwhelmed.
"With all due respect, with all that heat and Dad's sweaty green arm, I'll be dead meeting the Maker before I even meet a shark," Renae muttered under her breath, side eyeing Anika.
"Rooooaaar—"
Buff!
The half empty syrup bottle connected with the side of Julian's head.
"This is child abuse!" Julian gasped, shocked, still recovering from almost going headless. "What if I had died and the angels asked how was your end? Can you imagine saying dead by syrup bottle?"
I couldn't help it—I laughed shakily at the thought.
"Everyone shut up. No laughing, no moving, no breathing of even oxygen. Just shut up." Anika's voice was dangerous, murderous.
Silence.
A gentle kick from under the table made me shoot Renae an are you kidding me look. She only smiled, inhaling and exhaling, gesturing for me to do the same. I hadn't realized I was literally holding my breath. This lady was scary at times, yow.
"So today I'm going back to Hell, aka work—"
"That's why you're cranky. Now—"
Buff!
"Owwww!" Renae exclaimed, rubbing the spot where the spoon had hit. She looked at Mom, whose murderous glare had veins popping and steam practically escaping from her ears.
Renae shuffled uncomfortably, then mimed pulling an invisible zipper over her lips, locking it, and throwing away the keys.
"Now, before I was rudely interrupted… I'm back to being away from you guys hours upon hours. Which means I need this house alive, clean, and my college bunkins to do what they need to do. Or so help me God, as much as I save lives, I will be taking them. Do I make myself clear?" Anika's voice was stern, sharp.
Silence.
"DO. I. MAKE. MYSELF. CLEAR?" she asked again through gritted teeth, making us bop our heads like bobble dolls.
"Crystal," we all said in unison.
She nodded, then walked over to each of us, kissing our foreheads before exiting the dining room.
"And for the record, you deserved that bottle. Because Dad, what shark have you ever heard that went ROOOAAARR?" I finally spoke, disbelief dripping from my voice.
Renae clutched her stomach, laughing at my outburst.
"You're a bully," Julian said in a high pitched female voice, rolling his eyes.
"And you're dumb," I shot back, laughing as he flipped me the middle finger.
Smiling, we cleared the table, loaded the dishwasher, then headed outside to the garage where Anika was waiting in her pink scrubs and pink and white striped Crocs.
With wide arms, she pulled Renae and me into a hug. "Knock those college dummies off their feet. I'm so proud of you guys." She kissed our foreheads again, then walked over to Julian, who pulled her into a passionate kiss.
Look at love, I thought, smiling.
"I promise a cup of coffee, a warm bath, and my hands ready to massage your tired, aching feet when you're home later. Signed and sealed, my Queen," Julian said, kissing her through each word.
"Can't wait, my King," she replied, giving him one last kiss before heading to her sky blue Subaru Crosstrek. He opened the door, waited for her to buckle up, then closed it gently. She reversed out of the driveway, waved, honked lightly, and drove off into the distance.
The driveway became a stage, and Julian treated it like opening night. The 2025 Mercedes GLE 450 4MATIC Coupé gleamed under the morning sun, metallic body catching fire in the light. He clutched the keys like holy relics, eyes wide, voice booming with theatrical gravitas.
"My daughters," Julian declared, arms spread as if summoning angels. "Today you ride not just a car… but destiny itself!"
Renae gasped, clutching her chest like she'd been knighted. "Destiny smells like leather seats and tuna breath!" she shouted, bouncing on her toes.
I groaned, adjusting my bag. "Dad, it's just a car. A really nice car, but still."
"SHHHHHH! Hush, child," he snapped dramatically, pressing his fingers against my lips.
"But Dad—"
He was in one of his moods—half playful, half dramatic. His hand shot out, pinching my lips shut, thumb and forefinger clamped like a lock. He tugged me toward the car, grinning.
"Look at her… almost more beautiful than your momma," he praised, glancing at Renae. "Do not under any circumstances tell her I said that."
My eyes narrowed, cheeks puffed, and I forced the words out through his grip, muffled but sharp:
"Lhhht… owwt… or I swear to God I'll make you fingerless!"
Julian threw his head back, laughing so hard the neighbors probably heard. "Fingerless! My daughter threatens me with mutilation before her first day of college!"
Renae leaned against the hood, doubled over in hysterics. "Fingerrrlesss!" she repeated in her Stitch voice, snorting so loud she nearly fell.
I yanked free, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, glaring. "You think this is funny? Try me again and I'll prove it."
Julian raised his hands in mock surrender, still grinning. "My brave little chaos queen. Even with your lips pinched shut, you're terrifying."
"Keep playing with me and you'll see if I don't eat your face off in your sleep," I snapped, slamming my teeth together like a dog ready to devour its next meal.
"Woooaaah, Doggy Doggy… If you're hungry, I'm a chef for a reason. I'll whip you up something nice. I know I'm all that, but I'm not that taste. Even though, you know… Anika never complained." Julian struck a pose, smug as ever.
I rolled my eyes, muttering curses under my breath.
Still misty eyed but hiding it behind theatrics, he looked between us. "Alright, you two. This isn't just a car. This is your chariot. Your warhorse. Your… blueberry pancake on wheels."
Renae snorted, reaching for the keys. "Dad, you're crying over a car."
Julian pulled them back, wagging a finger. "Not just a car. A Coupé. Sporty. Elegant. Faster than your tuna breath, Renae."
I rolled my eyes again, but my smile betrayed me. "We're going to be late if you keep monologuing."
"And let me talk, because if you crash my baby I'll be sending you to an early greeting with the Face of God, okerrr," Julian spoke, half playful, half serious, ending almost like Madea.
"Do you understand? Say OKKERRR if you understand!"
"I'm not saying that," I shot back, determined.
Suddenly, he slipped off his sandals, raising a brow like, Nigga!!!! test me if you feel like you're bad.
"OKKER… OKKERR… OKKEERRRR!" Renae and I both yelled in unison, drawing weird attention from the neighbors.
"One family of fools," a neighbor muttered, watering his plants and glancing over.
Julian's head snapped toward the fence, eyes narrowing, voice dropping into a sharp, sassy edge I had never heard before.
"Don't you fucking try insulting my family, Bob," Julian fired back, his tone dripping with venomous humor. "You're a fat sack who waters flowers but never eats them—that's why your wife doesn't even want your sorry ass. God forbid a family who actually likes fun, who laughs, who lives, you dumb dull shit."
The words landed like a slap. Bob's face went crimson, his mouth opening and closing with no comeback. He shuffled back toward his porch, embarrassed, muttering something incoherent before disappearing inside.
The driveway fell silent. No one else around dared say a word.
I stood frozen, my bag clutched tight, eyes wide. I had seen Julian playful, dramatic, ridiculous—but never like this. For the first time, his theatrics had vanished, replaced by a raw, cutting defense of his family.
Renae broke the silence with a low whistle. "Damn, Dad. That was savage."
Julian turned back to us, the sharpness fading into a grin. "Nobody insults my chaos and my control. Not even Bob the flower watering fraud."
I blinked, still stunned. "I… didn't know you had that in you."
"No one insults my babies," he said cheerfully.
"At least I know there's one person you hate… Bob!" I laughed, still shocked but amused.
"Well, I don't know about you guys… but I'll be driving this beast like it's a rocket ship!" Renae shouted, sprinting to the driver's seat, blazer flaring, hair whipping like she was already in a music video.
I slid into the passenger side, muttering, "She's going to terrify half the city."
Julian staggered back, clutching his chest. "My babies… leaving me! My pancakes will never taste the same again!" He dropped to his knees in mock prayer, shouting to the heavens, "Lord, protect my Coupé! And if she crashes it, let the insurance be merciful!"
The engine roared to life, a deep growl that made the neighbors peek out their windows. Renae revved it twice, grinning like a maniac. "Hear that? Chaos on wheels!"
Julian stepped forward, kissed me on the forehead, then Renae on the cheek. "My chaos and my control," he whispered. "I'm so proud of you girls."
I leaned back, smiling. "We'll call you, Dad."
Julian stepped back, raising his arms like a preacher. "Go! My legacy! My daughters! My legends!"
The SUV shot forward, tires squealing, Renae laughing like a villain, me half mortified, half thrilled. Julian stayed behind in the driveway, waving wildly until the car disappeared down the street, his voice echoing after us:
"Make USC regret letting you in! And remember—if anyone asks, tell them your father was a legend! He taught you everything you knowww!"
Looking over at Renae, I felt happy—finally experiencing a chapter of my life with someone I never imagined would be in it. She tugged my hand, her fingers intertwined with mine.
"Ready to conquer?"
"Girl… you know I was born ready," I joked.
"Now that's what I'm talking about."
This felt like paradise.