When we were children, we always believed in some ridiculous things, things that no one told us were true or even existed, as if we were followers of some cult.
There were those who watched black and white movies and thought the world was in those colors back then.
And there were those who tried to break the TV just to free their favorite characters from their prison.
Oh, and there are some who thought that everyone else in the world were people without minds or souls, just bodies walking randomly and talking like non-playable characters.
Or that if we stretched our hands enough, we could grab the moon...
You might be wondering and saying: "What about you? What did you believe?"
Well, I know no one asked, but let's~ I want to start the topic anyway...
"For me, it wasn't a thing, but rather... a person."
In that small crack between the door and the wall, that long empty space through which you could barely see anything, I used to see a person.
A person taller than anything I had ever seen, a person darker than anything I had ever seen, with a face devoid of any features, just blackness and blackness covering him from head to toe, as if his shadow came and forgot to bring the body with it, and all I could smell from him was... nothing.
At the same distance that always separated us, he never once tried to move forward, nor did I...
Or rather, I couldn't, because every time I averted my eyes from that long crack, he would disappear as if he were just a mirage, he was... really scary.
"Of course you'd be scared if there was a tall black person without features staring at you as if you threw stones at his car and ran away, especially if you were a stupid five-year-old child."
But...
When I was little, I had a dream, a dream where he would come to play with me without uttering a single word.
We would just keep playing and playing without getting tired, in my room that had become empty of everything except my bed and the faint mosquito-repelling light.
"But when I think about it now, it was too real for a dream."
And since I got used to his presence, I tried to turn it into a joke, but every time I remembered it, a thought came to me...
"If he stretched that black hand toward the sky, he could grab the moon..."
_____________________________________
"Ah..., I did what you asked me to do, let me go"
"Of course~ you can go, but you'd better run~"
"What? Why–"
I'm sure I was talking to someone I knew, so what is this monster in front of me?
Something like a monster, maybe two meters tall and I don't think I could carry it even if I tried because of its large size.
It has eyes everywhere, even in its hands, and every eye cries blood and moves randomly.
And even in the small spaces between each eye, there was a layer like meat without skin, meat that smelled... of mold...
"Oh, my God..."
I kept running, and running, and it kept chasing me too.
Without knowing where I was, without knowing where I was going, all that moved me was the desire not to die.
I didn't feel tired, I didn't even pant once, but my feet refused to increase their speed, and even decreased it.
"Oh, come on, I'm not tired yet, I can continue!"
"Ah!"
(Damn, I fell!)
The problem is that I couldn't get up again...
Not because my feet hurt and not because fear stole my strength from me.
I can't get up because I can't get up.
The monster stopped running suddenly and started walking.
"Maybe because he wanted to look cool, or maybe he just got tired of running? Maybe?"
Before that, there were fourteen steps between us.
And now thirteen.
"Ah, move, move!"
Twelve.
"Finally I'll get you~"
Eleven.
"Y-He can talk!"
Ten.
"I won't be hungry anymore!"
Nine.
"H-Hunger? What hunger are you talking about!"
Eight.
"If I just had that body, I wouldn't have to look for dirty humans again!"
Seven.
"I'm human too, so I'm dirty! Leave me alone–"
Six.
(Hold on, what makes me sure that I'm human? I, I don't know...)
This might seem like a stupid question, but in situations like this, you just become a breathing block of stupidity.
Five.
(I haven't seen my face in a mirror to be sure, wait, was I breathing before? Am I talking to myself or am I talking out loud?)
Four.
(And that person I talked to before he turned into this monster, did I really know him?)
Three.
(What did he ask me to do that made me tell him I did it?)
Two.
(W-WWhere was that place I was in, and what is this place too...?)
One.
(No, in the first place, do I know who I am h-)
"?!"
Zero.
(D-Did that thing really eat part of me?)
(Wait, why doesn't this hurt me?)
(It's scary, it stopped...)
"It's not painful, but it stopped."
(Why won't it listen to me? Was my voice not loud enough?)
(Ah..., of course it won't, why would it?)
"Is it because I'm a monster too, that's why I don't feel pain?"
(Ah right, this is just a dream and I can wake up from it...)
_____________________________________
(Ah...)
(The same dream again...)
↻Tossing in bed.↺
⇜Sound of creaking.⇝
"Stop moving or take your bed and sleep outside."
It was my older sister's voice.
"Annoying bed."
(I'm very sleepy, but I don't want to go back to sleep.)
Actually, I always thought that if I went back to sleep right after waking up from a nightmare, I would go back to the same nightmare...
Don't ask me who told me this, these are my own conclusions.
(I'll talk to myself and that's it so I don't fall asleep...)
(That nightmare repeated again today, I thought I had gotten rid of it since it hadn't come to me for almost a month...)
(Oh! I forgot to explain to you about the nightmare.)
↜No one asked you.
(Anyway!)
Ever since I was little, maybe at the age of five, in addition to my vision, "Mr. Van Taplack."
I used to have dreams, or rather nightmares if the expression is correct.
A nightmare with the same pattern every time, a person I'm supposed to know but I can't distinguish his face, he asks me for something I don't know what it is, I tell him I did what he asked and ask him to leave.
After that, that person turns into some kind of monster.
(It's good that the shapes of people and monsters change, I can't stand seeing the same disgusting thing every time!)
The monster starts chasing me and I start running, gradually my speed starts to decrease or I lose the ability to run.
Then I discover that I don't know who I am or where I am or even how I got here here.
(Well, you all know those kinds of existential questions.)
↜No one with you to know you're talking to yourself.
That monster starts talking about how happy and lucky he is because he found me.
(And then...)
He starts eating and chewing my flesh.
The strange thing is I don't feel any pain.
(Well, I'm scared because he's eating me in front of my eyes, but I don't feel pain.)
Then a faint voice comes in my head, I'm not sure if it was me who spoke...
It reminds me that I'm dreaming then I wake up...
I wake up in my cold sweat and feel as if my whole body is burning.
But... the duration of the dream varies from time to time.
Sometimes I hear the voice directly after entering the dream and sometimes in the middle or as happened today, the voice doesn't come until I'm being eaten.
(Oh, and sometimes I start running directly after seeing something that doesn't seem normal!)
The dreams repeat from time to time, sometimes once a month and sometimes once a week, and if I'm unlucky twice in a row on the same night.
(And as an embarrassing short story, there was a period in my life where I was afraid to sleep because I didn't want to see those nightmares...)
(I remember I used to pray every night not to dream of anything and wake up directly the next day...)
(Maybe because of this, I don't like to sleep right after waking up from one of those nightmares.)
(*Yawning* Ah, no, I don't want to go back to sleep...)
(Oh, found it! Let me explain something else!)
↶Who are you explaining to exactly?...↷
(When I was little!...)
She fell asleep...↶
When I was little, in addition to Mr. Van Taplack, and the weird nightmares, I used to see other people.
They resemble Mr. Van Taplack in their blackness, but they are different from him in everything else.
I didn't see them everywhere, only when I woke up in the middle of the night because I had trouble sleeping.
They had shapes like cartoon characters, one had a Viking shadow, another looked like a clown, and near them something like a cat.
My thoughts about them were contradictory, sometimes I would get scared and rush to my mom, and sometimes I would see them as if I were watching some kind of cartoon.
I didn't try to tell anyone about any of what I mentioned, just because...
Because she sees it as unimportant.
But it's okay now, I don't see them anymore, do I?