Chapter 174 — The Tavern beside the Ferry Station
They took seats at the tavern beside the ferry station.
The wind was still cold, but they were dressed thickly enough to bear it.
They sat down at one of the rough roadside seats, and the drink came first.
Kim Baeksu said to the tavern woman,
"Bring anything for the side dish."
When a man said "anything," it meant he would curse once the food came out.
He seemed in a hurry.
He poured drink into his own cup, then filled Youngwoo's and Cheolun's cups as well.
He acted like a broad-minded, easygoing man, but inside he was a rat.
Everyone knew it, yet he alone thought others did not.
He still moved through the world with the gestures of a generous man.
"You must have had a hard time."
At Kim Baeksu's words, Youngwoo answered with a gesture of modest refusal.
"Hard time? Everyone does the same."
"I hear the fighting was fierce."
"It was nothing like what we had faced in Goryeo before."
"Many died?"
"It was almost one-sided."
Kim Baeksu blinked his small eyes.
He seemed to be looking for some opening.
"You were there too? On the battlefield?"
"Yes."
"Ah, why would Goryeo soldiers be in someone else's war?"
"Exactly."
"Well, what is a soldier? If they tell you to do it, you do it. Drink."
He drank first.
The tavern stood in a place where the ferry station could be seen clearly.
Kim Baeksu sat where his subordinates on duty were plainly visible and looked around with bloodshot eyes.
Youngwoo said,
"I did not know you were here."
"Of course. Hm. Do not tell anyone. I nearly died at Seonchullyeong. It was a good thing the fortresses were returned. If I had been swept up with those bastards when they were punished, I would have been in great trouble."
Youngwoo asked carefully,
"Were you not on the same side?"
"What same side? I was only serving under them. Those men really went too far. Park Cheolgu, Seo Ui-taek…"
Youngwoo's eyes narrowed.
He still spared his words when it came to Yi Huisong.
Yi Huisong was the wicked man behind everything, yet Kim Baeksu did not mention him.
Perhaps he thought that keeping silent counted as loyalty.
Youngwoo nailed the words down.
"I thought you were one of the same gang."
"They went too far. I am not like that. I am not that kind of man… Here, here, drink."
He kept pouring.
It felt as if he wanted Youngwoo to drink and forget the past.
That was how the common saying went.
He only liked liquor; he was not a bad person.
Was a man who stood beside a bad man, egged him on, and clapped for him not a bad man too?
There were more men like that in the world.
Had he not played a larger role in turning Seonchullyeong's command into a den of demons?
Youngwoo drank the cup poured for him.
In his heart, he wanted to cut the man down with a single stroke.
If he cut down every vague, rotten fellow who wandered in front of him, perhaps a clean and beautiful world would come.
"Everyone thinks of you as part of the same crowd."
"No. I am not. I am not."
He might have been the one who gave Yi Huisong the most money.
That would explain why he had held on so long despite his incompetence.
"That man rose even higher after leaving the post. He held an important place in the Jungbang."
"He did. His family was always good…"
"You know it is over now, yes?"
Kim Baeksu drained a cup and pushed it forward.
What he needed from others was someone to pour his drink.
"Over is not always over."
"Is that so? Will he rise again?"
It was no great truth, but some men had the ability to rise again like phoenixes.
Kim Baeksu did not answer.
Perhaps men like that suited him better.
Men who were decently rotten, whose positions could be changed with money, liquor, or women, were probably better for him.
People's abilities were much the same.
Whether things went well or badly depended on conditions.
How could one do better work and produce better results through work alone?
In a society that valued evaluation and outcomes more than the work itself, it was better to have men who responded to the right medicine if one wished to survive.
A truth without an answer did not need to be spoken aloud.
People say no and say it is fine, but some wrongs cannot be covered with such words.
Kim Baeksu suddenly changed his tone.
Several cups had gone in, yet he sounded nothing like a drunk man.
"I am sorry. No, I have been sorry all this time."
"For what?"
If a man said sorry, that did not mean one should simply let it pass.
These fellows often tried to slide by with passing words.
"General Yi did wrong. He went too far all that time."
"Were you not one of his men?"
"One of his men? I only attended meetings because I was under him. No matter what I said, he did not listen at all. He listened only to Seo Ui-taek."
"Is that so?"
Youngwoo was ready to leave because he hated Jin's cruelty.
Yet this man said he had only been among wicked men and had done no wrong himself.
He was saying there had been a council, but because he was a subordinate, he bore no responsibility.
He had taken all the benefits of being mixed into that group, yet now said he had nothing to do with the evil they had done.
"It is true. I told them they should not do that."
"What did you tell them?"
"Everything."
He tried to step over the matter with vague words.
He did not need to do that.
Why was he trying so desperately to excuse himself?
If he had done no wrong, he could simply stay quiet.
Youngwoo murmured,
"I almost died several times. I mean to return it in kind."
"He has probably stopped now…"
"Does stopping make the sin go somewhere?"
"Stop. He is old now."
"Does age make the sin go somewhere?"
"Stop. He has suffered enough too."
In the dark, he shifted the blame toward Yi Huisong.
It sounded like he was saying Yi Huisong had done wrong, while he himself had done no wrong.
Youngwoo no longer wanted to hear it.
He stood abruptly.
"Thank you for the drink. Now that I know you are here, I will stop by whenever I pass."
He could not remember the dead young man's name, so he did not say it.