Got up to remove the dress that added to my torment , it seemed more heavy now. Sticky on my skin like it refused to let go of the day. "agghh"
peeled it off slowly, Letting it fall to the floor in a white heap. I Didn't bother hanging it, cause it's not like i care.
The nightgown from the closet felt soft but wrong in every way. It wasn't mine, but Slipped it on anyway.
Laid on the bed to Sleep but it still wouldn't come, Rolled one way, Rolled the other.
The Blanket twisted around my legs, My Heart kept thudding fast, way too fast
Then I heard him. Out in the living room. Low voice, Footsteps, Phone call, his Sharp words cutting through the quiet.
My stomach knotted tight. I should have stayed in bed. Pulled the covers over my head and Pretended I didn't hear a thing.
But I didn't.
Instead i Pushed the blanket off, my Feet hitting the cold floor, Walked to the door on tipped toes.
Cracked it open just enough to peep through.
He stood with his back to me, Shirt sleeves rolled up, Arms stiff. Phone pressed to his ear.
"…do it tonight. Clean. No witnesses. Tell them what happens if word gets out."
Pause, He listened, Jaw tight.
"Good. Handle it."
He tossed the phone on the couch. Ran a hand through his hair. Stood still for a second. Shoulders rigid.
The floor creaked under my foot.
He turned fast. Eyes found me in the dark doorway. Dark, Intense.
"Can't sleep?" His voice was low. Rough, probably from the call.
I crossed my arms over my chest. Nightgown on me suddenly felt too thin. "No.".
He stepped closer. Slowly. Stopped a couple feet away. Looked me over. Not quick and Not subtle either
"You heard."
It wasn't a question.
I nodded once. Throat dry. "Heard Enough."
His jaw flexed. Tiny muscle jumped. "You shouldn't be listening to my calls."
"I live here now." The words came out sharper than I meant. "Guess that means I hear things."
He studied me, Long seconds. Then he moved again, Closer, Close enough I had to tilt my head to meet his eyes.
"You want to know what that was about?"
I swallowed. "Do I have a choice?"
"No." His hand came up. Fingers brushed my arm, Light touch, Goosebumps followed. "But you're asking anyway."
Heat climbed my neck. I didn't step back. "What happens if I walk away from all this?"
His fingers paused. Then slid up, To my shoulder, thumb traced slow along my collarbone.
My breath caught, Loud in the quiet.
"You don't walk away." Voice quiet. Firm. "Not from me."
His other hand lifted, Cupped the side of my face, Thumb brushed my cheek. Gentle. Too gentle.
My pulse hammered in my ears. Body started leaning in before my brain could stop it.
He leaned closer. Mouth hovered near mine. Breath warm. "You're shaking again."
"I'm not scared," I whispered.
A Small smile play at edge of his lip. "Liar."
Then he kissed me.
Soft at first. Lips brushing. Testing. My hands grabbed his shirt without thinking.
Fisted the fabric. Pulled him closer. Or held on. I Couldn't tell.
He deepened it. Tongue traced my bottom lip. I opened. Gasped into his mouth. His hand slid into my hair. Fingers tangled. Tugged gently. Tilted my head. The Kiss turned hungry and Rough. Like he'd been holding back for days.
Taste of him, was like whiskey, smoke, heat. My knees went weak. Body pressed against his. Heat everywhere. Low in my belly. Between my legs. I hated how much I liked it.
He broke away first. Breathing hard.
Forehead against mine. Eyes black.
"No not tonight." His Voice rough and Strained.
I blinked, my Lips still tingling. "Why did you stop?"
"Because when I take you, I want you begging. Not fighting yourself."
He stepped back. Cold rushed in. Left me swaying.
"Go back to bed, Elara."
I didn't move immediately. Chest rising and falling fast. "What if I don't?"
His eyes narrowed. Hand flexed at his side like he was stopping himself from reaching again.
"Then I'll put you there myself."
He turned. Walked to the window. Stared out at the city.
I backed away. Closing the door behind me with a soft click.
Slid under the covers. My Body still buzzing, with a swollen lip and a pounding Heart.
The man who just kissed me like that.
The same man who ordered someone "handled" tonight.
Lying here in the dark, I couldn't decide which scared me more.
Or which one made me want to open the door again.
I stayed under the blanket, curled up tight. The sheets were cool against my legs but my skin felt too hot.
My Lips still tingled where his mouth had been. I touched it with my fingers, swollen, and sensitive. Pulled my hand away like it burned.
The room was dark except for the city light that sneak through the curtains, like they were mocking me. I tried to close my eyes to to shut it all out.
But Couldn't.
Every time I blinked I saw his face again, The way his eyes went black when he kissed me. The way he grabbed my hair firmly, like he was claiming what was his.
My stomach twisted, Not just with Fear. But Something lower and Hotter, I pressed my thighs together, it didn't help
I rolled to my side, Pulled the pillow close and buried my face in it.
Smelled like clean sheets and nothing else. Not him, his cologne or smoke,Just emptiness.
I thought about the phone call i overheard.
"No witnesses." "Handle it." His voice so calm while he said it, Like ordering coffee, Like it was normal.
I wondered who was out there right now. Was Someone getting hurt, disappearing. The thought Made me feel sick.
I sat up fast and Looked at the door.
It was closed, Locked. I didn't remember locking it.
I stared at it.
Part of me wanted to open it, Walk out there to Ask him what he meant, Ask him who was dying tonight because of a mess.
Another Part of me wanted to stay right here, under the blanket and Pretend tomorrow wouldn't come.
My lips still tingled, while my body still buzzed
And in the dark, that stupid voice wouldn't shut up.
What if you go to him right now,
What if you open the door?
What if you beg first?
I squeezed my eyes shut tighter.
But the voice stayed, loud and insistent
And tomorrow felt closer than ever.