An advent changed me

Main jab kuch hi saal ki thi tab mere sath kuch aisa hua ki aaj tak main use bhula nahi paai aur uski wajah se meri zindagi itne badlao aa Gaye hai.Kabhi kabhi kuch galtiyon ki wajah se zindagi mein kaafi badlao aa jate hain.Aur wo kahani main aapko batana chahti hu, lekin ek shart pe ki aap ye baat kisi se baatao ge nahi.Bachpan to har baccho ka accha aur anandmay hota hai ,Mera bhi tha lekin bas anjaane me.Bade hote hote aaj tak maine wo baatein kisi batayi nahi kyun ki mujhe bahut Darr lagta hai.Asl baat to ye hai ki jab main 8-10 saal ki thi tab main apne mummy daddy ke pass na rah ke main apne Nana Nani ke pass rahti thi.Ek baar main mela dekhne apne gao me gai aur waha mujhe kisi aurat ne laal bada teeka laga diya ,lekin mere ghar walon ne use serious nahi liya.Badhte wakt ke sath sath meri soch aur akl bhi badhti gayi aur mere ho rahe changes ne mujhe alert Kiya ki ye sab usi kaale karname ku shajish hai. Meri zindagi me koi aisa insaan nahi hai jise main ye batau aur wo mere baare me worry na ho isliye maine aapko ye batana sahi samjha .main apni consistency har cheez me Dena chahti hu lekin merecin problems ki wajah se mai kuch jyada consistent nahi ho paati,isliye exams mein yaa phir study de related koi bhi cheez me apni potential jitna appear nahi kar paati hu.Mujhe lagta nahi ki meri ye real life story kisi ko bhi pasand aayegi aur ise koi sunna ya padhna pasand karega kyu ki isme koi twist nahi hai.Bachpan mujhe zindagi me har ek cheez acchi lagti thi aur parents bhi kaafi jyada supportive aur motivative log hai,lekin main unke pass itna rah na saki iski wajah se main na unki tarbiyat le paai na unki seekh.Ab wakt nahi tarbiyat seekhne ka kyuki Jo ho na tha wo ho chuka.Agar financial condition dekhi jaaye to koi kharab nahi thi kyuki mere parents kaafi expend karne wale log hain.Main apni zindagi me an stable ho na chahti hu lekin meri zindagi itni problems hain,jinki wajah se main kuch karna to door main apni normal zindagi bhi nahi jee sakti .Mujhe lagta hai ki Mai bhot boriyat aur puraane soch wali hu but Aisa isliye hai kyu ki main ab apni life ko improve nahi kar sakti .Maine apne aas pass ka environment aur logo ko dekha hau hai aur jis tarah ki meri condition usme mere parents ke alava koi bhi mera bure wakt me sath nahi dega,chuki main bachpan se apne sab ki bhot laaadli hu aur mujhe utna koi daata ya maarta nahi tha .aur isi ki wajah se maine apne zindagi me koi bhi galat kaam kar ne se pahle ek bhi baar nahi socha ki is meri ya mere parents ke liye kya problems aaengi .so, mujhe lagta hai ki "it's not enough for today but it is my first day "