"What the actual shit?" Julian said, patting himself down.
He coughed out a bitter leaf and rolled onto his back. Above him, the sky was purple, dominated by two massive moons that looked close enough to touch.
"Okay, okay, deep breaths, Jules. You're in some cosplay forest."
A cheerful chime exploded inside his skull.
[Host! Welcome to the Fantasia Realm! I am your Streaming System, here to make you the greatest inter-dimensional content creator of all time!]
Julian froze mid-pat. His mouth opened, closed, opened again. "Yo… voice in my head. You real?"
[One hundred percent, Host Julian Morelli! Age 26, former streamer with 4.2k followers.]
[Host! Please select a planet to start streaming and earn points from views!]
[Available options:
Earth (population 8 billion)
Zorath-9 (population 12)
The Void (zero viewers, zero points, instant death). Choose wisely!]
Julian pinched the bridge of his nose so hard he saw stars. "Earth? You're telling me I can stream back to Earth? Like… my mom's gonna see this? The entire internet?"
[Exactly!]
Before Julian could scream "this is the worst isekai ever," a new window popped up in his vision.
[Planet Selection Screen]
[Earth – Potential viewers: 8,000,000,000]
[Estimated first-hour views if you start now: 1.2 million]
Julian stared. Then he grinned, "Fuck it. Earth it is. Start the stream!"
[Stream initializing…]
[Accept? Y/N]
"Accept!"
The air in front of him shimmered. A floating red "LIVE" icon appeared.
A tiny transparent camera orb materialized, hovering just above his shoulder.
He could see the chat window now... tiny text scrolling in the corner of his vision.
[EarthChat connected…]
[xXShadowSlayerXx: YO IS THIS REAL?]
[KarenFromOhio: This man is being kidnapped by aliens!]
[420B1azeIt: 10k bits if you say "fuck" in the next ten seconds]
Julian barked a laugh, "Chat's already here! listen up, Earthlings. I don't know how I got here, I don't know why the sky has two moons, and I definitely don't know why a sassy AI is making me your new reality show. But if you guys keep those bits coming, I might just survive long enough to figure this out. Sound good?"
The viewer count rocketed: 87k… 142k… 310k. Points started trickling in...
[Points earned: 450.]
Julian pumped his fist. "Let's go!]
That was the exact moment the bushes twenty feet away exploded.
Three creatures burst out... eight feet tall, red skin stretched over corded muscle, horns curling like demonic party hats.
Their yellow eyes locked on him. One of them licked its lips with a tongue that had way too many barbs.
"Grr! A human!" the biggest one snarled,
The second one cracked its knuckles, "Human meat good for stew!"
The third just grinned, revealing three rows of teeth. "Grr. Human talk funny. Make it scream first."
Julian's stomach dropped straight into his sneakers. The camera orb spun excitedly, zooming in on his paling face.
Julian took one slow step back, hands raised. "Whoa, whoa, easy there, demon bros..."
The biggest demon tilted its head, confused for half a second. Then it roared with laughter.
"Human funny! We like funny before we eat!"
It lunged. Julian dove sideways, rolling behind a tree.
"Shit shit shit... System! Abilities! Now!"
[Current points: 1,820. Shop unlocked!]
Options:
1. Basic Fireball (300 pts)
2. Minor Speed Burst (200 pts)
3. Honest Charisma Boost (500 pts)
Julian didn't hesitate. "Speed Burst! Charisma Boost! Buy them!"
[Purchase confirmed. Speed Burst activated. You've got 30 seconds before cooldown.]
Power surged through his legs like he'd chugged pure lightning. He blurred around the tree, zipping past the demons so fast their heads snapped.
"Grr?! Where human go?!" the biggest one bellowed, swiping at empty air.
Julian skidded to a halt ten yards away, chest heaving, camera orb faithfully following. He flashed the demons a middle finger.
"Hey, ugly! Yeah, you with the extra teeth! My chat says you look like someone tried to cosplay Satan after three all-nighters. Thoughts?"
The demons actually paused, blinking in genuine confusion. The charisma boost was working... barely.
[KarenFromOhio: HE CALLED THEM UGLY I'M DECEASED]
[Fan69: This is the best thing on the internet right now!]
The biggest demon shook off the confusion and charged again, faster this time.
"Human die now!"
Julian's legs burned... the boost was fading. He spun, sprinting deeper into the glowing forest, camera trailing, chat spamming rocket emojis.
Behind him, the demons crashed through the undergrowth.
"System!" he yelled between gasps, "How many points for a weapon? Anything!"
[Points: 1,320 remaining. Recommend: Tell your audience exactly how scared you are. Bonus points multiplier!]
Julian laughed wildly, half-crazed, half-exhilarated. "Fine! Chat, I'm pissing myself right now! If I die in the next thirty seconds, somebody clip this and send it to my mom."
Viewer count hit 987k.
[Bonus multiplier activated! Points earned: +2,400! Total: 3,720!]
A new shop option flashed gold.
Ability Unlocked: Flame Dagger (800 pts)
"Buy it! Flame Dagger!"
A glowing red knife materialized in his hand.. Julian skidded to a stop in a small clearing, spun on his heel, and faced the oncoming demons.
The biggest one burst through the trees first, roaring.